The whole 18 years of my life has been the best years everyone could ever ask for. But I guess the wheel really is spinning. It lets me being on the peak for the straight 18 years, but now I am all scattered in pieces, crushed, on the cold, hard, lonely ground.

I saw their divorce papers lying on the dining table while I have to dine by myself, seems like they were waiting for me.

Those two, they broke up. One lost all his faith on loving somebody, he went crazy and ran from the reality. The other one was way too broken and tired, but he doesn't stop on keep blaming himself.

He was still depressed by the burden on his shoulder, he had to meet all of the expectations while he had no idea how. He was already worn out before he could even start.

Lastly, they will gave up on my problems, it is just a matter of time until they left. The first one already did. Just wait until the rest realize they are trying to save the person who actually deserves not to be saved.

I should have listened to them.

I should have listened, so I don't have to stay here and helplessly watching him falling even harder for the girl of his dreams. Watching him falling as my heart being tortured in every seconds he spent with her, every gaze he gave her, every time her name slipped out of his lips that should be kissing me, not her.

I don't hate her either. In fact, I am grateful because she doesn't have to be so worried anymore. She found someone to help her go through all of this, so she doesn't need to stress herself more then this.

Maybe I should stop seeing stars and colors, maybe I should have opened my eyes way long before. Now I got no time for the pain to ease away, for the phosphene to fade away.

hello! this is, well, just call me Cal.

so, this is Cal. it is my first time writing a fan fiction of BTS, for I am still a fetus(?) to this fandom. it has been only a couple weeks since I listened to them (and stan them) yet I am already falling so hard for these 7 boys. by the way, English is not my first language and I got no beta reader so you might find a lot of grammatical error and stuff.

I hope you guys enjoy!