“Sorry?” Youngjae said, not sure if he had heard Jaebum right, unsure if Jaebum had meant what he said.

“Did you not hear me? I want an open relationship,” Jaebum said once more, bolder and more confident this time. He knew he had Youngjae wrapped around his finger. Jaebum casually sipped on his bitter cup of espresso and looked into Youngjae’s eyes, which used to be bright and hopeful, but now they were full of worry and insecurity, all caused by Jaebum. And Jaebum liked them as that.

Jaebum loved how easy Youngjae was to toy with.

“You’re suggesting an open relationship so that you can cheat on me without the guilt afterwards, huh?”  Youngjae wanted to curse Jaebum out loud but couldn’t. Youngjae would never do that. And Jaebum knew it.

“An open relationship, huh?” Youngjae murmured.

“You think I’d feel guilty cheating on you? You think this is for me? I’m just suggesting it so that you wouldn’t feel too ty about yourself.” Jaebum knew Youngjae well enough to guess what he was thinking by his hateful gaze, and quiet words.

“That’s right,” Jaebum conceitedly nodded along as if Jaebum already knew Youngjae wouldn’t be able to retort to him. He knew Youngjae would never fight or argue back.

After all, Jaebum was too good for him in ever way.

Jaebum was the definition of “flawless”. His looks were no joke, everyone knew it. His grades were record breaking, every teacher dreamt of having a student as gifted as Jaebum. Plus he went to the most prestigious university with one of the best education system, and even then the university’s headmaster had to beg him to choose their university.

As for Youngjae, his looks were average on a good day, his grades were okay and he had to his off to be accepted to the same university as Jaebum.

Considering everything, Jaebum was a lot better than Youngjae. And it was by a huge miracle Jaebum chose to date someone as shabby, mediocre as Youngjae.

Youngjae was Jaebum’s little puppy. He could order Youngjae to do almost anything and the latter would do it without a single complaint. Jaebum could completely stop communicating with Youngjae, but then suddenly call him and ask him to hang out and Youngjae wouldn’t ask a single question. It was as if Youngjae lived for Jaebum.

“Youngjae, hyung is doing this so that we won’t get bored of each other, and our relationship won’t get torn apart too early.” Jaebum lied. And for the thousandth time, Youngjae forced himself to believe Jaebum’s pointless lie. Youngjae shut down every single voice telling him to give up, to leave Jaebum and abandoned his pride. Youngjae should be thankful to Jaebum for choosing him. He should be happy Jaebum still chose to be with him.

Youngjae wanted his old life back. He wanted to run around the green field without a single concern for tomorrow. He wanted to pick pretty flowers and make flower crowns for every member of the family. He wanted to his mom’s smile as he ran to her with a small bouquet of wild daisies. Youngjae missed that bright kid.

“Of course. I agree.” Youngjae replied.

Young Youngjae would probably resent his older version. He probably would be incredibly embarrassed of this small, pathetic fellow that Youngjae has become.

Youngjae wanted to scream. Hatred was eating him from the inside. With each word Jaebum uttered self hate took over Youngjae’s body. When did all of this become like this? When did Youngjae’s life take a turn to the worse?

Youngjae remembered how Jaebum used to smile. His eyes would completely disappear and his toothy, childish smile would completely take over his manly face.

Youngjae clearly remembered Jaebum’s warm smile and kind words. Jaebum would pat Youngjae’s head and smile and wish him luck in the mornings. And in the evenings Jaebum would greet Youngjae with the same cheerful smile and would give Youngjae hugs on bad days.

 Jaebum didn’t use to be self centered and conceited all the time. There was a time Jaebum used to care and love just like Youngjae. Jaebum used to love Youngjae back. Youngjae wanted that Jaebum back, the happy and reliable Jaebum.

“I’m glad you agree with me. If you didn’t, I would have left you here without a single plea.” Jaebum commented.

“How nice,” Youngjae whispered, with a false smile. Jaebum didn’t care.

Jaebum knew Youngjae had fallen for him, which was why it was even more enjoyable to play around with his innocent heart. It was his mission to break Youngjae’s heart from the very first day. Jaebum wanted to be first one mess with Youngjae and to scar his heart for life. Jaebum wanted Youngjae to always remember as the guy that broke his heart and dimmed the light of his life. He wanted his name to be associated with dread, pain and sadness.

Youngjae met Jaebum as a seventeen year old, a high school senior, while Jaebum was nineteen and a college sophomore. They had met at the local youth center and the moment their eyes met something exploded inside Youngjae. At the time, Youngjae thought he had found the one, the love of his life, the sun of his universe, whilst Jaebum was just happy he had found a prey to hunt down and torture. Only if Youngjae had known Jaebum would turn out to be a manipulative, merciless animal, he would have run away and would’ve never looked back.

Youngjae, or anyone for that matter, didn’t know why Jaebum had chosen him out of all people to love, not until a little later.

Youngjae was just an easy target, that’s why. Jaebum, the attractive university student majoring in atomic physics, chose Youngjae, because he knew Youngjae wouldn’t have the power or the will to reject Jaebum, to disobey the older.

Jaebum had one goal in mind and that was to completely up Youngjae’s world, to mess with everything Youngjae believed in, to destroy all Youngjae stood and lived for.

It took Jaebum a little less than a month to get his hands on Youngjae. Youngjae was smitten by Jaebum’s careful actions, intelligent words and fake love for him. Youngjae knew that Jaebum’s words “I adore you” were false, but he still fell for the guy that was soon to wreck Youngjae’s hope and ambition.

Youngjae knew Jaebum didn’t love him, and that he wouldn’t ever, but was okay with it.

“So you agree, right? You agree to an open relationship from now on,” Jaebum confirmed Youngjae’s forced consent.

“I do. You can go on and do whatever you want.” Youngjae answered, which was like music to Jaebum’s ears. Youngjae’s agreement reaffirmed Jaebum’s power in the relationship; it made him feel a whole lot stronger. It was as if Youngjae was confirming again that Jaebum was better than him and that he didn’t deserve Jaebum at all.

Youngjae hated himself for not being able to stand up against Jaebum, to speak up and tell Jaebum everything he wanted to. Instead, Youngjae just sat around, waiting for Jaebum to come up with other ways to mess with him.

Jaebum had left as soon as he heard the word of confirmation. And Youngjae was left alone in an embarrassing and pitiful state. He felt worthless and small. He didn’t deserve to be with Jaebum, he didn’t deserve to have any of his friends, and his family members probably hated him too. Youngjae was useless in every way. He couldn’t even say “no” to a horrible deal. He was pathetic.

But Youngjae couldn’t help but hang onto Jaebum and his abusive wishes. Youngjae was terrified of being left alone. He was scared to death of being unneeded; he would do anything for a person to be by him even if it meant being tormented and staying in an agonizing relationship. Youngjae didn’t for a second want to be the same friendless and lonely kid he used to be in high school. And even though being with Jaebum hurt and intensified his self hatred, it made people want to hang around Youngjae. Jaebum was popular and had a huge circle of friends, friends that invited Youngjae to parties and brunches, friends that Youngjae never had. And it didn’t matter that those friends only wanted to look good in front of Jaebum by being close to his boyfriend, at least Youngjae was needed somewhere.

“Do you mind if I join you?” Youngjae’s train of thoughts was stopped by a low, deep voice.

“Can I sit here?” the stranger answered to Youngjae’s confused eyes.

“Or is the guy who was sitting here going to return?” the stranger’s what it seemed like an innocent, serious question made Youngjae snort. The thought of Jaebum returning to Youngjae ridiculed him to the point of ironic laughter.

“No, the sun is going to explode by the time he returns,” Youngjae said. And with that the stranger sat down.

The guy was tall, boney, and had well defined muscles. It was obvious the guy was an athlete, or at least worked out on the regular. He probably had a good and large circle of friends. The guy, by the looks of it, was extremely friendly and had high developed communication skills; probably befriended people with ease. The stranger had an attractive smile, bright eyes that shined of immortal life and undying happiness.

“It might sound a little creepy coming from a complete stranger, but you have an insanely gorgeous smile, but you’re frowning most of the time, so people don’t get to see it,” the stranger shared, and Youngjae snorted sarcastically again.

“Of course I do,” Youngjae answered. It was obviously a lie, but Youngjae had to admit that it did feel nice hearing a compliment in a really long time.

“Is there anything you want from me? Why are you saying that?” Youngjae asked straightforwardly. He didn’t need another person lying to him every time they opened their mouth. He was exhausted at this point from every false statement Jaebum threw at him daily to get what he wanted. Youngjae didn’t need another guy doing the same.

“I was just saying that you should smile more. You know, find the plus in every situation, show off that stunning feature of yours,” the stranger replied innocently, and at that moment, at that millisecond Youngjae almost completely fell for the lie.

Don’t be stupid, Choi Youngjae, he’s lying. Focus. Don’t get fooled.

“I think it’s better for both us if you would just get straight to the point,” Youngjae tried to sound as strict as possible. With every minute passing, more bricks were being added to the wall Youngjae was building for protection. Youngjae already knew how heinous strangers can be thanks to Jaebum, he didn’t want to let another stranger in to his own world and watch him break it down.

“The thing is I heard the conversation you were having with that dude, and I thought that maybe you needed a new friend, you know, to cheer you up and be beside you,” the stranger pronounced.

Youngjae was about to protest, about to defend himself, about to shout at the guy who only wanted to help him, but just then as if he knew what was going on inside Youngjae’s head, the stranger spoke up.

“I know that I’m probably invading your privacy and taking away your pride, but I just want to help, that’s all. I know how ty it can be to be left alone like this without anyone to rely on,” and with these words something inside Youngjae popped. And he couldn’t speak. Because this random guy with piercing two eyes understood him, somehow he was aware of the war going on inside of Youngjae.

“If you don’t want to talk to me, or hang out, that’s fine. But I don’t want to leave you alone with your mind,” and Youngjae was convinced, he was sure this dirty blonde haired stranger had come here to rescue him from this typhoon that had no plan of stopping.

Choi Youngjae, wake up! Don’t be fooled!

But he understands. He gets everything. And he wants to be beside not because of Jaebum hyung, but because of me. He wants to help.

Choi Youngjae, stop living in your own little fantasy! He’s not the perfect, thoughtful stranger you’re imagining him to be, and you know it. Stop being a stupid fool.

But it’s so hard not to believe him. I want to believe him. I want everything to be true. I want him by my side.

“You want to help?” Youngjae carefully questioned. He didn’t want to be tormented and tortured again. He didn’t want to trust but then be laughed at again. Youngjae wished that just this time everything the stranger was saying true.

“Yes. I want to be a friend, a supporting hand,” the stranger smiled. And with that Youngjae decided to let his guards down. Youngjae wanted to enjoy having a friend just this once. Youngjae wanted this eye-catching stranger to be his friend even if it was pity that drew the guy to Youngjae.

So what he turns out to be a bad grey wolf. I want to enjoy this moment. I want someone to need me.

 “I’m Youngjae, Choi Youngjae,” Youngjae decided to introduce himself.

“I’m Mark,” the stranger replied and smiled again. If it turns out that Mark was just using Youngjae to get to Jaebum later, Youngjae won’t regret it. Befriending Mark wasn’t going to be decision Youngjae was going to be repentant about for sure.

“Is that your real name?” Youngjae asked enthusiastically, driven by his need, hunger to get to know Mark as fast as possible. Youngjae wanted to be close to him as if Mark was the forgotten ingredient in his life, as if he could heal all the scars from Jaebum and protect him from getting hurt ever again.

“Yeah, I’m actually from the States. I moved here because of college, and also because of a close friend of mine.” Mark shared, his smile still lighting up his face.

“What are you majoring in?” Youngjae asked another question.

“International affairs,” Mark answered and laughed out loud as if his own answer was so absurd it was funny.

“I’m sorry it’s just that I was always told I wouldn’t be able to make it till college,” Mark laughed again.

“And when I read everyone my acceptance letter out loud, no one actually believed me, and on top of all that, my major made even more fake,” it was a hilarious story to tell now, but three years ago, Mark was crying in his room, doubting his worth and ability to achieve anything. And that’s when he needed his friends the most, he needed his siblings, he needed someone to whisper warm words into his ears even if they were lies.

“Shouldn’t family be the people to have unconditional faith in you?” Youngjae spoke without much thinking. It was surprising and a little chilling how almost exactly the same was said to him by someone else three years ago.

“That’s true. They should be, but mine just weren’t, I guess, but it’s all fine now.” Mark brushed it off, because if he didn’t, the fear, the insecurities Mark wasted years defeating were all threatening to come back.

“I’m interested what you’re majoring in, Youngjae,” Mark’s smile came back to his thin and long face.

“I’m a genomics major, I’m a sophomore.” Youngjae answered.

“Oh, a biology nerd, huh?” Mark laughed, making Youngjae smirk.

Youngjae and Mark sat on the small table made out of fake wood, and the uncomfortable metal chairs for a few hours after Jaebum’s departure. Youngjae didn’t completely feel fine, and he perhaps would never be a hundred per cent fine, but he felt a whole lot better. He was glad that Mark decided to approach him even though Youngjae didn’t deserve it. And Youngjae hoped Mark didn’t regret intruding into his life either.