Sunset illuminating the whole car, radio with roadtrip songs playing, casual conversations as we head home to our city. My mind and heart met halfway to a train of thoughts. Hopeful or desperate love?

 

“can we stay like this forever?” I keep on staring on his face, he’s driving quietly with a faint smile on his face. I was wondering if he’s enjoying to be with me this time or thinking of someone else.

“or can we at least drive slow?”

“can we please be honest at this time?”

“please say something about ‘us’?”

“I liked you for a couple of years already”

“or shall I say, I love you already”

But I kept all these lines on my head because I don’t want to risk this stupid friendship we have.

 

You’re always been there for me or maybe you’re just a good friend. There were a million things I did with you, that was before you met her.

 

 

“It would take a thousand years for me to stare at your face, if life would permit”

“you’re smile that you occasionally give”

“the corny jokes you’re trying to pull”

“those lines on the radio that you’re trying to rap”

Silly I am to fall in love with a guy who can’t talk expressively.

You’re an introvert, I can say. But you always rant the bad things happened at school or would have random conversation about food, music and sometimes love inside your car.

Every time we talked about “love” I wished you could stare right to my soul, so you can see how foolish I am for you.

 

T.S.’1989 playlist as we catch our way home, which my feels sing along.

 

 

“Midnight,

You come and pick me up, no headlights

A long drive,

Could end in burning flames or paradise””

 

 

“This love is good, this love is bad

This love is alive back from the dead

These hands had to let it go free

And this love came back to me”

 

 

But this song struck me the most:

“You can hear it in the silence, silence, you

You can feel it on the way home, way home, you

You can see it with the lights out, lights out,

You are in love, true love

You are in love”

 

 

Hoping that I’m the girl you stayed all night just for a talk, the girl you would fetch home any time, the girl who could laugh wholeheartedly at your jokes, the girl that you keep secrets with, the girl who could put a genuine smile on your face.

 

Maybe, it’s time for me to give up this foolishness.

You’re just the friend who has a special place in my heart for years, the friend that I would gladly eat with, the friend that I want to fetch me home, the friend who has the eyes that I’m always lost with.

 

“Dara?” he asked his eyes still on the road

 I just hummed and stared on his face, for the last time.

 

 

I will be here always, as a friend who loved you from the passenger seat.

I loved you, Kwon Ji-young.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AN: hope you like it ;) Any thoughts? just comment below, thank you for dropping by :)

 

 

credits to the rightful owner/s of the images used