I typed the code and waited for the response. The rain outside won’t stop anytime soon so I boiled a water and made two packs of ramen, just for me of course.

a message notification popped up from my personal advisor, just kidding, my best friend, Ji Eun Yeol. Bro, do you HOW panda can eat bamboos?. What the hell. Being a weird girl she is. But still, she knows me better than myself. I worked on my project while texting with her. Since my hands are going numb, I decided to take a rest.

Jennie…

Her face suddenly popped in my mind. It is hard to move on, I’m being honest here.

Scroll down, more, and more on Instagrams. I found Jennie’s photos, she was on holiday with her friends which are my friends too. “did she have fun? Good to see her smile…” I sighed, staring at my friendly walls room.

For the past weeks after the messages incident, I’ve never even once talk to her. Sure, I stole glances but I’m not some creepy guy, okay? We were in the same group project a few times, she asked for my help too, felt like fireworks lit my stomach.

Eun Yeol in the other hand always whine if I start to tell her about my love story. “you are pathetic. The end.” That’s what she said. Eun Yeol kept telling me to move on, I want to do it so bad, but it is just so hard. If I can hit a girl, I will be the best volunteer to smack Ji Eun Yeol. But in my positive mental state, I will have those replies too.

Make myself busier than ever so I don’t have to remember about Jennie. Why am I so worked up because of a girl?

One day, my friend, Jisoo. To be exact, she is Jennie’s best friend texted me. I thought maybe she needed my help on a project. And I was not exactly wrong on my guess. At first, she asked me about projects but later we had a conversation, Jennie as the main topic.

“have you moved on?” she asked suddenly,”I don’t know what to say, but you know girls are complicated, right? she said no but yes inside her heart”

I was confused,” what do you mean? Just talk bluntly, I am fine”

She replied a few minutes later,” she missed you. your present. That’s what I’m talking about. Jennie is.”

I groaned, ,” so what do you want me to do? I already confessed but she rejected me. When I tried to go near her, she kinda disturbed. So I’m leaving her.”

“I know..i’m just telling you in case you are not giving up”

I chuckled,”what the, I’m not giving up for the god’s sake. I’m trying not to be a pathetic victim here. I’m so damn tired, okay? If she really has a feeling for me, why did she push me? that’s it. I’m tired, bye”

The night accompanied me, the stars lighted up my mood, and the wind covered me. I don’t care if I’m being a bad guy. I just want to live my life which laughs, smile, and warm feelings always around me. Not the pathetic one.