Outro: Love Is Not Over
Why are you getting farther away?
So far that I can’t reach you?
Tell me why, you’re so far away, why
Can’t you see me in your eyes anymore?
 

Walking by myself to the nearest bus stop while enjoying the weather are things that I love to do since it was so relaxing. I held my backpack and ran to my school gate. Smiling upon by myself about the fact that I did a great job to get into that school,“hey school, my dreams are over there and I need to reach it and make them mine!”.

Learning new things, such a hard task for me back then. But I always remembered what my purpose is. Home, I was jealous of my friends. They can go home, I mean to their house which there are people who are willing to wait for them. And me? I stayed in a boys dormitory. Every Sunday evening, when I had to go back the dorm was the most heart-breaking moments with my parents. Anyway, they supported me for everything so I have a big courage to dream higher and bigger.

We tend to have a nice personality since everything is related to social life. Sure, school task not only individual but also in a group. I’ve met a few types of person. Funny, easy-going, introvert, annoying, mysterious, and more. Then I found that person. A girl with indifferent aura, such a tough girl. I thought it would be a deadly thing when I tried to know her. And God knows everything, we were in the same group for an assignment. She is Jennie Kim.

Each day we grew closer than before. She was kinda friendly tho. We exchanged number as we trust each other. We joked about silly things and had a typical conversation, from the zero to serious topic. And I found out that she was a sensitive girl. So I thought she was so unique, from her personality to her visual, ah right, she was attractive too. Not only her appearance and personality, but she was good student too.

I really liked being her friend. Or I would simply say that I interested with her. Yeah, I’ve fallen for her. Thinking about what should I do with my feeling, I rolled on my bed and groaned as I ruffled my hair. My phone buzzed,”Oh god, it’s damn late night and who’s texting?”. Lazily unlocking my screen pattern then my heart stopped beating for awhile, it was her. She told me that she couldn’t sleep and we texted ‘til I felt my eyelids grew heavy then I don’t even remember what I typed.

“by the way Jen, I like you”

I threw my phone as I yelled to myself. What on earth happened?

I took a deep breath, inhale, exhale. Oh how I wished that I could be invisible to her, that was unexpected.

She ignored me all day. Not even replying my text. Something was fishy I thought, she blocked my number.

When I walked in the hallway, she would walk passed me without looking at me. That was my fault. I shouldn’t have said that damn thing and everything was ruined. The most precious thing was our friendship.

After more than 300 days we never had interaction, I felt like I used to the awkward and painful feeling when she was around.

That day, the day when I realized I have no more about her. But who knows?

I didn’t know if I’ve done good deeds or what but she unblocked my number. Yeah, I was happy to death but what should I do? I should do nothing, right? ‘cause it might be gone wrong.

“hey”

As I widened my eyes, it was her number and she texted me first. Oh god! I replied to the text as soon as possible. She said sorry to act like a flustered kid without notice.I smiled, I always felt like everything was my stupid fault.

We went back to normal as we called when we were passing in the hallway. Although we didn’t text frequently. I was fine with it though.

She became one of my reasons to take a step forward. Yeah, my dreams. I started to work harder and harder.

One day, Jennie texted me. I furrowed my eyebrows,”I’ve seen this text somewhere…when did I send it? Oh! What the hell?! Sent?! I’m sure it was when she blocked me! Kill me !”

“Jen… can I marry you?”

The world was falling. Exactly what I felt that time. I decided to explain everything to her, but no response. I told a close friend of mine about it. I felt like a loser. That friend consoled me and kept telling me to relax when I really wasn’t in the mood to relax. “just wait if she will give you any response or not, I mean to be wise. It’s all up to you man, but still, this is my advice, if you got no respond ‘til a few days later. You need to move on”, even that friend is a girl I always feel she is like a brother to me.

I waited for a whole week and that was the time I realized I might be annoying if I keep waiting for her, she is one of my motivator, but not the only one. I took my decision.

I should keep this feeling to myself and try to move on.