2.8

In the morning, Namjoon woke up with an annoying itch on his nose but strangely, he was well rested somehow. Feeling groggy, he blinked away the remnants of sleep as he stretched his hand towards his phone to turn the alarm off before it actually rang. Only then, he realized that the blankets wrapped around his torso weren't stretching with him as usual but he was dragged backwards instead as if he was being anchored to something.

Clearly, it was odd because it wasn’t as if Namjoon had nailed the blankets on the edge of his bed. However, even in his lethargic state, he remained unfazed, almost too calm when he slowly turned back and his eyes landed on the sleeping figure of Seokjin.

The blankets were tightly wrapped around him like it was a cocoon, leaving only half of his face visible, peeking out of the blankets. Yet even with his hair spiked up in every direction he still managed to look striking, facial features so beautifully relaxed in his mask of sleep. What struck him completely though, was how right his soulmate looked in his place, lying there by his side.

Namjoon blinked a couple of times, waiting to be hit by a feeling of uneasiness that never came. He wasn’t sure if that moment could be included in his personal folder called happiness but a part of him, he didn't know how big but it was undeniably there, felt contented. He knew he was also indubitably starting to come to terms with the truth. It was hard not to, not when in these long weeks that had turned in months, his relationship with Seokjin had changed so drastically.

‘No secrets’, that was the keyword of the promise they had made to each other the night they finally cleared out a long period of lies and misunderstandings, and he was happy to say they had stayed true to their words.

It wasn't like he hadn't known till then that Seokjin was nice, because the older was nothing but kind to him, but without the barriers that both of them had built around themselves unconsciously, especially Namjoon, the younger had realized how easy it was to hold a conversation with Seokjin, whether it was a serious topic or a silly joke. The older had, in fact, a weird sense of humour and a ridiculous laugh, something he had kept hidden from Namjoon at first, which never failed to make the latter laugh. When he heard Seokjin’s laugh for the first time, he was affirmed that they had overcome the initial stage of shyness. But more importantly, seeing him so relaxed, so himself and so very little like a Kim, was making him feel warmer and cosier as time passed by.

It was true that they hadn't ventured into dangerous subjects, Seokjin still being a bit reserved about his feeling related to his childhood, but Namjoon sensed that was a topic he didn't like to mention in general and not because it was him. As for his part, Namjoon found himself more open with his sentiments. After all, he had always turned out to be a blabber once he had become comfortable with someone, to the point that Yoongi always complained about his rambling speeches about life and its premeditated unfairness and how he should “for God's sake shut up Namjoon”. Therefore, now that the barriers between them had diminished, he felt comfortable enough to even express this part of his personality to Seokjin.

In simpler words and without useless redundant adjectives, they were bonding. The connection he had always felt lingering between them since the very first time they met, was strengthening day by day. Namjoon knew it wasn't just a soulmate thing because that hadn't stopped him from being doubtful at the beginning, so the only logical answer was that he was genuinely starting to like Seokjin, he probably always had, the only difference was that now, he was finally allowing himself to do so.

Namjoon ran his hand over his face as he threw another glance towards the resting figure of Seokjin. They needed to be up and get ready as soon as possible or they risked being late for college. He reached out then, poking a finger at the older's side but when the gesture turned ineffective, he rested his hand gently on his shoulder and shook him with more force. All the while, he had to swallow down the insane urge to rest his hand on the other's cheek, and his cheekbone lightly in an attempt to wake him up instead. It was a sweet image, one he didn't know if it was legit to put into action.

“Seokjin, wake up,” he called, raising his voice a bit. Calling his name seemed to do the trick because he heard the older's breath hitch as his brow furrowed slightly before a pair of dark brown eyes met his. For a couple of seconds, the older seemed like he was not only dazed but also a bit surprised as if he didn't understand why Namjoon was there, just a couple of inches from him. Even though lately, one of the two often ended up falling asleep on the other's bed, so caught up in their conversation to take notice of the ticking of the clock and became an easy prey of the slumber; it seemed like Seokjin just hadn't managed to wrap his head around this fact.

His confused expression was endearing but it also caused Namjoon to feel a bit guilty. Ever since that time Seokjin lost consciousness, Namjoon became painfully aware of how his behaviour had actually hurt the older more than what he had ever intended to and Seokjin, both the previous Seokjin and this Seokjin he had discovered and that he liked a lot, hadn't deserved that.

Namjoon squeezed the older's arm as his hand slid affectionately but briefly down his side, unable to help himself. He wanted to be gentle with Seokjin, he needed to.

“We have to be ready in less than an hour, you can shower here after I'm done and sleep a bit more but I know you like to take your time and that's why...” Namjoon trailed off gesturing with his hands as if it could help him express himself better. Seokjin looked still a bit dazed but he smiled at him nonetheless, as if Namjoon weren't not only eloquent but also particularly nice.

“Yes you are right, I like to take my time,” he said almost beaming despite being evidently half asleep.

He emerged completely from his cocoon, stretching his arms in the air and cracking his bones as Namjoon took it as his cue to start moving too, getting his clothes from his closet as well as the toiletries. He heard more than seeing Jin unfold his blankets and sit on the mattress. He dared to throw one last glance over his shoulder before entering the ensuite bathroom. It was a quick glance but enough for him to spot a glimpse of Seokjin’s skin, revealed by the shirt which turned loose and the visual image of the older’s unkempt bangs covering his forehead but still, he managed to appear as appealing as ever.

Namjoon ushered into the bathroom as fast as possible, feeling his stomach doing somersaults once the door was closed behind him. Eventually, as the time would have passed, they would be the next Kim consular couple. They would have a house and a place to call their own and what had just happened could turn into a morning ritual, one that would have repeated itself for countless days they were going to spend together. As that image engraved in his head, them being older but also gingerly intertwined, Namjoon couldn't bring himself to find the picture unpleasant at all.

He hugged the toiletries and the clothes to his chest as he shoved that umpteenth realization to the back of his mind and tried to resume his activity. He left his clothes on the closed lid of the toilet and tried to not knock up the toiletries as he put them down next to the sink, before facing himself in the mirror. Had he changed? His reflection was the same as some months ago but Namjoon could detect the shift in his eyes, there was a trace of something different. If he compared himself to the person that he was over a year ago, he knew a different person would be staring back at him. He soaped his hands and massaged his cheeks with foam, squeezing his eyes shut so he had an excuse to not look at himself anymore because it would only result in more wild guesses in his head.

“Your son has a high IQ, miss. In order for him to not lose himself and to keep his behaviour in check, he needs to engage his brain in challenging and useful activities or he will end up being miserable,” the doctor had told his mother when his misdiagnosis of having an attention disorder lead to the discovery that he was actually kind of a genius. Her mother had taken the doctor advise seriously, always trying to encourage his son into signing himself up for all sorts of activities. But unfortunately for them, Namjoon was also a clumsy kid and despite having shown a big interest in music he also proved to be unable to hold an instrument without spoiling it or hurting himself. And so for years, the only outlet for Namjoon had been books, crossword puzzles and chess, until he bumped into Yoongi and reacquainted with his old love, music, as he realised that there were other ways to engage himself musically without breaking things or hurting physically himself.

He turned the tap on and splashed some cold water to wash off the foam.

“We are still allowed to talk about dreams, Namjoon,” Seokjin had told him and Namjoon sometimes wondered if the older had a clue of how much those simple words had mattered to him. How, by opening that door, he had made possible for Namjoon to breathe again because it wasn't a burden to stand on his own anymore but he had someone, that wasn't Yoongi who was unavailable at the moment, with whom he could share it with.

He wiped his face and brushed his teeth as the thought of a next step invaded his mind, thinking about what could entail making Seokjin more involved in something he considered as the most precious part of his life.

As he entertained himself with his thoughts, trying to decide whether it was a good idea or not, he got rid of his pajama and proceeded to wash himself. After a satisfying shower, he put on some clean clothes, and combed his hair, checking himself one last time before stepping out of the bathroom. Obviously, he found the room empty, he had anticipated it but he realized he had kind of hoped Seokjin that he would have stayed. Namjoon shook his head to get rid of that absurd thought and walked out into his room. It wasn't like he was going to lose sight of Seokjin and in fact, when he stepped inside the dining hall, the older was there with a smile stretched over his lips, all cleaned up and wearing a fluffy cotton sweater that made him look pleasantly domestic, waiting for him to join for breakfast.

Undoubtedly, there was a good thing that had come out from Seokjin parents’ perpetual absence, and it was those kinds of moments, very rare moments with just the two of them that could be fully enjoyable and relaxing, without having to mind the surrounding and the eventual, inevitable judgment. When Seokjin's parents weren't around, Namjoon could forget the fact that they were the Kims but just Seokjin and Namjoon, two young number two getting to know each other.

They ate breakfast with calmness, Seokjin asking him about his lessons, as Namjoon replied with little to none enthusiasm. It was a blessing not having to hide his distaste for the imposed degree.

“I'll do your Statistics if you do Penal Law for me?” Seokjin suggested, winking at him and Namjoon had to refrain himself from snorting, letting out a choked sound in his attempt to hide it, and Seokjin giggled at the other’s silliness. It was nice to joke like that, even when it was sad to realize how much they both hated their respective college choices. After all, they said that sharing a pain was half a joy.

They parted ways only when it was time to leave for their respective lessons; they didn't even bother separating when Namjoon went back to his room to collect his books. Seokjin followed him even then, and of course during the car journey as well, so invested in the conversation that he didn’t even realise the touch of his firm thighs with Namjoon’s, although the latter certainly did.

“See you later Joon,” Seokjin said waving at him. Namjoon nodded, remaining rooted at the entrance for several seconds to stare at Seokjin back, before snapping out of his daze. Slightly flustered at his own action, he adjusted the strap of his bag over his shoulder before he finally sauntered towards the Economy department.

He didn't have any friends in the class, and it wasn’t even because of his age, which certainly was masked by his looks. It was the annoyance he felt towards the subject that was enough to make him feel unbearably bored and probably the result of his ever-present scowl, which he learnt from Yoongi and the other artists at the pub, that made him look unusually unapproachable. It was a strange trait, considering the soft and calm personality that he had. In short, it made him look as out of place as he was at one of those up tiers parties of the Kim family. He entered the classroom and sat in his usual back seat, nobody spared him a glance, his dark demeanour clashing with the dreamy smiles that were plastered on the others' faces. His department knew he was the soulmate of the new heir and that was the only reason why he wasn't being regarded as an outcaste for being a number zero, even though he knew that if the Kims discovered what type of behaviour he had in class, he would probably have to go through a reprimand.

He couldn't help it though, he didn't want to have to shape himself into a fake person, it was enough he was forced into something he didn't like at all.

Four hours later, when his second lesson of the day ended, Namjoon ran out of the class only to find Seokjin with his back reclined against the wall in front of the classroom, waiting for him. It was a new habit, something Seokjin didn't do during the months before but had started recently. At first, sporadically then, as their relationship got more relaxed, more often, to the point that Namjoon nowadays looked forward to seeing Seokjin’s head peeking from the crowd. Thankfully, his classmates had stopped their shameless ogle at Seokjin like the first times, although they still threw glances at the older and Namjoon by extension like they couldn't help it as if they were some kind of celebrity. In a way, they were, but the thought only made Namjoon cringe internally.

“Let's go Joon! I'm so hungry!” Seokjin exclaimed, acting as if he was completely unaffected by those stares. Namjoon at the beginning had thought it was exactly like that, that Seokjin's behaviour was natural because he always looked unfazed, the smile never wavering. Besides, the few words Seokjin's father had said about his son being good with the public, had brought him to settle on that idea. But now that he knew the older better, he was starting to think Seokjin had been and maybe he still was, as terrified as Namjoon, and that calmness was the result of years of training and probably the reason why he was also extremely patient with him, being able to understand the younger's distress very well.

Namjoon tried his best to follow Seokjin's example and hence ignored the rest as well, laughing at the latter’s cheerful tone and letting himself being dragged all the way out of the building, towards the direction of the canteen. He felt Seokjin's arm brushing his, lately, he was starting to be hyper-aware of all the minimal contact they shared. They never interlaced their arms together though, it was something they did only during the official occasions, and with that thought, he couldn't help but to eye their arms, unable to say anything regarding the matter. Luckily his own grumbling stomach distracted him from his internal crisis and caused Seokjin to chuckle.

Then, taking him by surprise,  Seokjin grabbed him, crooked fingers curling around his wrist, and tugged him forward, forcing Namjoon to run along with him, causing the younger let out strangled yelp that made him giggle like a mischievous kid. He was so focused on not letting his clumsy limbs get in the way and make him stumble, worried that he might drag the both of them down, that he realized their hands had been intertwined only once they arrived at the canteen, panting and half laughing.

He didn't have time to dwell on it though, of how a gesture so expected between numbers two managed to make him feel warm all over because a booming voice called them both and when they turned towards the source, he spotted Hyosang, who was waving his arms in their directions.

Getting closer to Seokjin had somehow meant getting closer with Hyosang as well, and the latter turned out to be a very loud and ridiculous human being. It was really impressive how he had managed to fool Namjoon into making him believe he was actually serious and strict. Namjoon suspected though that Seokjin and him getting evidently closer, had been a decisive factor into his own relationship with Hyosang who, after their conversation of that day, had started to act more open and more like his true self in front of Namjoon.

Apparently, he felt comfortable enough to have the nerve to wink at the younger, when he too noticed how they were still holding hands. Seokjin who had been unaware till then released Namjoon's hand with an apologetic smile, but neither of them commented upon the happening.

They left their bags at their cousin's table before hurrying to fill their trays.

He observed with glee how Seokjin filled his tray with all sort of food, the older having showed more than once how much he loved eating, making justice to every different dish. He heard the older yelped in excitement as he stretched his arm to get the last blueberry and chocolate muffin left on the shelf. Namjoon was about to sigh in defeat because those were his favourites, but before he could even blink twice, he found that same muffin on his tray.

“Yours,” Seokjin said like he hadn't just given up the last blueberry muffin, which both of them loved, in favour of Namjoon.

It was then, after that unexpected gesture shaped by natural kindness and silly affection, that Namjoon finally made up his mind.

“Jin hyung, would like to go out with me tomorrow night?” he asked, taking Seokjin by surprise. He detected how the older’s eyes widened in surprise but he also noticed how a shy smile adorned his face soon after his initial reaction. Yes, it had been the right decision.

The first thing Namjoon noticed as soon as soon as he stepped inside the pub, was the heavy smell of smoke and alcohol, and a pair of glaring eyes getting close to him. Yoongi had pounced on them as soon as he spotted them, eyes raving the two of them from head to toe and causing Seokjin to squirm by his side. However, he didn't act rudely and greeted them politely, as he ushered the couple towards the backstage room. Namjoon smiled reassuringly at Seokjin who was adjusting the collar of his black shirt nervously. For once he was in his environment whereas Seokjin was the odd duck, and that was why Namjoon felt protective. He wanted the older to have a good time but more than anything, he really wished for him to get to know his world, discover it and possibly fathom why Namjoon loved it so much.

They followed Yoongi to the backstage room that was already filled with people, others artists, the pub staff and probably friends and family of said artists, like Seokjin himself. Yoongi moved towards their usual corner and flopped unceremoniously over the pair of metallic cans they used as chairs.

Seokjin shared one with Namjoon, bodies closer than what they were used to but he didn't give any sign of feeling uncomfortable, instead, it rather looked like he was leaning on Namjoon as if he was subconsciously seeking for support. Namjoon noticed Yoongi eyeing them briefly but the older didn't seem to be in the mood to utter one of his usual brash comments and so whatever that he had wanted to say, was kept under silence.

“Joon, the owner said that we are the fourth to perform, which is not bad considering how we kind of signed last minute. We’ll perform three old pieces and the new song you've been working on.”

“Four? Last time we talked it was only three songs because you said the event was packed tonight,” Namjoon replied with a slight panic. He had mentally prepared himself for three songs, not four and definitely was not ready for his new composition. He had rehearsed that with Yoongi only once.

“Relax. Tonight is not a competition, but more like a mini joint concert so we don't need to do any freestyle. The audience is here to chill, not for blood,” Yoongi inferred in his usual cogent tone as he dismissed his worries with a wave of his hand. Namjoon would have liked to reply that tonight, he didn't care about the audience except for one person and that person was seated next to him and he needed to impress him. That was why he glared at his best friend who, unfortunately, didn't give any sign of taking his irritation seriously.

“If you tell me where the toilet is I can leave the two of you to discuss the details,” Seokjin said interrupting them with an awkward smile as he sensed their tension. Before Namjoon could reply Yoongi opened his mouth to murmur “at the end of corridor left”, which was everything Seokjin needed to know before sprinting out of there at the speed of the light.

Namjoon saw it coming, he knew it, he knew it as soon as his eyes had met Yoongi's but, the truth was, he had started to suspect it after he had finished talking with his friend on the phone, as he had not only announced his wish to take part in the event night, but he also wanted to bring Seokjin with him. A part of Namjoon was grateful to the older for having made his best to land them a good spot into an already packed event, but that didn't change the fact that he was also getting pissed about Yoongi being pissed, as he knew the older was about to give him a piece of his mind.  

“Just spit it out Yoongi,” Namjoon said, trying to stop himself from sighing. The noise of laughter and chatter in the room was getting louder but neither Namjoon nor Yoongi was paying attention to that.

In their years of friendships, they had had several confrontations but mostly about music and creativity matters, never about what they felt because they had always been pretty much in sync. And even when Yoongi had confessed the struggle he had been hiding for so long, even then, Namjoon had tried to be on his side. But that time it was slightly different.

“I don't know if it's my place to tell you anything...” Yoongi started but Namjoon knew it was just a pose.

“Since when are you afraid to speak your mind, hyung?” Namjoon asked, purposely provoking the other.  Yoongi squinted at him and the younger knew he had hit the nerve. If Yoongi had something against him, it was better for him to let it out sooner rather than later, even if the choice of timing, right before a joint performance, wasn't the best time to exchange those potentially hurtful words.

“And since when have you gone out of your mind?” Yoongi countered, equally brutal. Namjoon had to force himself to not retreat back and kept his eye contact with the older.

“I don't know what you’re talking about,” Namjoon replied, jutting out his jaw defensively.

“You brought Seokjin here, really? What made you think it was a good idea?” Yoongi asked with sarcasm as if Namjoon had committed a crime.

“We’re just hanging out, no need to be so dramatic about it.”

“You’re not just hanging out and you know it. You brought him here because this place is important for you and that means...”

“I brought him here because we’re trying to getting to know each other, we’re soulmates after all,” Namjoon retorted, overwhelmed with irritation but as soon as those words left his mouth, he realized the weight of what he had just said. Yoongi chuckled at him then, and even though the younger had expected him to look smug or even more sarcastic, Yoongi looked anything but that, a cloud had seemingly eaten him alive all of a sudden.

They were numbers two and it was undeniable, even when as youngsters they fooled around trying to ignore their reality, they knew that in time to come, they would have to face the reality, and now that the reality was there and they had met their soulmate, the truth had scarred them instead of relieving them, as the concept didn't sit well with either of them, even though for different reasons. However knowing that there was another number two who shared the same sentiment, over the years, it reassured the both of them and allowed them to feel less out of place and less weird. But above all, less lonely.

Namjoon wanted to reach out his hand and touch Yoongi's arm but he didn't because he didn't know what to actually say or even if it would make sense to add anything. Before he could decide what to do though, Yoongi's gaze focused somewhere behind him and the younger understood that they weren't alone anymore.

He turned slightly to see Seokjin standing some steps from them awkwardly, observing them with a slightly puzzled expression but Namjoon knew he was too kind to even think of meddling.

“We have fifteen minutes before the performance starts, Namjoon can show you around Seokjin hyung, after that I'm afraid we’ll be a bit busy,” Yoongi commented with a flat tone as he rose up from his seat and headed in the direction of the toilets too. Namjoon saw Seokjin furrowing his brow for a moment but when he met his gaze, his smile came back, and also along with what Namjoon recognized as a spark of excitement. “I'll show you around hyung, even though I don't know if we’ll be able to wander too much since the place is already packed.”

“Then let's get going, if I can't get the first row you better show me the spot where I can get the best view of the stage,” Seokjin said excitedly. Namjoon laughed a bit, embarrassed by Seokjin enthusiastic reaction. He was concerned about the idea of leaving the older out there in the middle of the wild crowd since he was pretty sure that wasn't his usual scene at all, but Seokjin had reassured him that he was big enough and could perfectly take care of himself, and “besides, technically I'm the adult here, and if you can be over there,” he said pointing at the stage, “ I can survive in here,” he concluded with his best Kim tone. Namjoon didn't dare to add anything else to the tone of finality and so he simply nodded as he went back to the backstage to join Yoongi.

The frenzy feeling of anticipation that ran through him every single time he had to step on stage was starting to get the best of him, and Namjoon, as always, found himself jumping up and down on his spot. He didn't exchange any other word with Yoongi but the older seemed to have gotten into his pre-stage mood too as he abandoned whatever feeling was bugging him in favour to focus on the performance. They could hear the cheers getting louder by seconds and the sound of the heavy beat that resounded throughout the whole place.

It was a complex feeling to explain, a mixed feeling of pleasure and angst, like the thrill you felt before jumping from a high platform into the deep water, fear and excitement almost killing you but keeping you afloat at the same time. However, the moment their names were called, all the worries that they previously had, vanished into thin air. Namjoon felt like a giant force had pulled him forward, an irresistible impulse he would never, could never, fight. His turned to look at Yoongi, who nodded back at him before climbing the few steps that lead to the stage. Namjoon followed soon after, the screams welcoming him as soon as he reached the center of the stage. He took the mic from the standpoint, and then the beat started. Namjoon smiled before opening his mouth to shout. The crowd screamed louder.

They had to perform four songs, three old and one new, the latter being the one that got him very worried before the performance, but once the beat of their last song started, more mellow and almost minimal, any trace of worry flew out of the window.

It was hard to recognize a particular person in the middle of a mess of adrenaline, but as his eyes wandered over the people in front of the stage, his gaze met with Seokjin’s almost as if they were pulled to each other. As their eyes locked, a feeling of warmness spread all over him like a balsam because nobody had ever looked at him in such a way before.

“I loved you ever since the very first time we met,” Seokjin had told him and the concept still sounded foreign to Namjoon because love was such a big word. In the government ads, they often spoke about soulmates and the necessity to be complete, but rarely, very rarely about love.

Besides, how could someone be programmed to love another person, Namjoon had always asked himself.

“A soulmate is that person that has the ability to understand you more than anyone else. At some point, as you'll get older, you'll understand how breathtaking it is to meet the person who does this for you, honey,” his mother used to tell him.

When the performance ended, with deafening cheers that were still ringing in his ears, he didn't wait for Yoongi to exit together to the backstage or even thought about commenting over their performance while remaining at the pub to watch the rest of the performances as they usually did. He opted out of all of it and moved fast, navigating his way off the stage because he had to go to where he last had spotted Seokjin before he lost him in the crowd. He didn’t even have the time to think about his action as he was swamped with the sudden urge to talk to the older.

It turned out he didn't have to move very far because as he stepped down the stage, he found his arms full of Seokjin, the fragrance of his body soap recognizable even among the smell of smoke and heavy alcohol. It was a strong, beautiful warm hug with Seokjin’s fingers digging into his skin slightly yet managing to leave a deep impression on him nonetheless, but it was also brief, investing him like as spring breeze, slipping away as easily as it arrived.

Seokjin stepped back soon after, but he stayed close enough for Namjoon to notice a fallen lash over his flushed cheekbone.

“Did you like it?” Namjoon asked then, not making a move to step back either.

“I loved it,” Seokjin replied, blinding him with a smile and leaning in dangerously close, drawing Namjoon in during the process too.

However just at that moment Yoongi passed them over, he didn't open his mouth and neither spare them a glance but his dark and hurried presence was enough to burst the bubble and the moment between him and Seokjin vanished as rapidly as it came.

“C'mon, let's go drink something, possibly alcohol-free since someone here is a bit too young,” Seokjin said then. Namjoon shook his head because Seokjin just had to joke about that at every chance given, but he was also secretly glad that they could laugh about their now.

He followed him towards the bar tool and they enjoyed the rest of the night together chatting and drinking, but when they finished their respective drinks, Namjoon noticed that Yoongi hadn't shown up at all the night.

Namjoon had spent a few weird days enjoying his time with Seokjin but also asking himself if everything was fine like it actually seemed. Seokjin and he had attended lessons like any other day, their comfortable relationship steady and pleasant; they had lunch with Hyosang, they chatted after dinner and he talked with Yoongi as often as he did before. However, he felt a bit wary lately regarding both Seokjin and Yoongi.

As for the latter, Namjoon didn't really know how to face the matter and neither if it was his place to talk. The younger knew his best friend had been hurting all along but having Namjoon by his side might have made his burden bearable, just like it had comforted Namjoon knowing that he wasn't the only number two having different opinions. After all his words against the system and the Kims, for the younger to bring Seokjin to the pub, it probably looked rather hypocritical or fake. But Yoongi knew very well that Namjoon wasn't the type of person to complain about things just for the sake of a drama, and maybe that was even more burdensome: knowing that the change in Namjoon was actually genuine.

The younger felt like deflating every time he thought about it because it wasn't that simple; he hadn't changed to the point that everything looked alright all of a sudden, and all of his previous conditions changed just as he had gotten along better with Seokjin. However he had never thought the latter was a bad person; actually, his problem had always been that he liked the older despite his personal beliefs. What had changed weren't his circumstances, which were still suffocating and disappointing, what had changed was that he had stopped lying and had started coming to terms with what he felt even though that task was turning to be more difficult than he had anticipated. After all, that was the biggest difference between the two best friends. They still shared a similar sentiment, however, Namjoon was facing his truth whereas Yoongi...

Namjoon blinked furiously as he his side, facing towards the light coming from the window. It was a Saturday morning and for once he could lie in his bed and lazy around a bit but his brain was always vigil, keeping him awake and causing him to reflect on a lot of things.

He didn't blame Yoongi, he just wished there was a way in which everyone could win instead of being left to bleed in the poodle of their own defeat.

He heard the faint sound of steps in the corridor and Namjoon barely had the time to shift towards the door before someone was knocking on it.

“Namjoon are you awake?” asked the voice he recognised as Seokjin’s, from behind the wooden door.

“Yes?” he murmured and soon after he saw the head of Seokjin peeking from the slightly open door, with a wide smile on his face.

“You know if I wasn't awake, I would be by now thanks to you?” Namjoon commented jokingly with a voice still hoarse from remnants of sleep. His comment though didn't seem to faze the older whose smile stayed as wide as when he had barged in.

“Would you like to come with me to a place today?” Namjoon rose from his cushion, ears opened up immediately because it was the first time Seokjin had proposed him to do something together that wasn't under the Kim supervision.

“Sure,” he said seating on the bed and smiling when he noticed how the older was refraining himself from jumping on his spot.

Seokjin then hurried him into putting on some clothes, made sure he had a quick breakfast before dragging him towards the bus stop, all the while, Namjoon had tried to imagine where Seokjin wanted to take him but failed greatly. One thing was for certain though, he had never seen the older in that kind of mood before; he looked rather contented, bubbling in anticipation as he sat on the seat next to Namjoon, his fingers fidgeting over his lap.  Namjoon didn't know what to actually expect for once, he didn't think Seokjin knew how to move around without being chauffeured around, not because he was some high maintenance brat who was too lazy to act as an independent person, he had never thought that even in the beginning when he was more sceptical towards him. He was more surprised about the fact that Seokjin looked pretty used to it like he had been doing nothing all his life but sneaking out of the mansion to escape.

For someone who Namjoon, despite the older being the nicest person he had ever met, had thought as the least risk-taker ever,  Seokjin looked like someone who had overstepped the borders of the rigid Kim path too many times to be counted, and that realization was doing things to him.

It was changing his perception of the older and pushing his feelings further down a dangerous lane.

The journey was short and soon after, Seokjin was tugging him by his hoodie as he motioned him to follow him. Namjoon didn't dare to ask questions and they didn't exchange any words the whole time it took them to cover the distance from the bus stop to the destination either. Yet the silence wasn't uncomfortable, Seokjin looked focused rather than awkward, maybe a bit nervous but more like someone who was organizing many tasks in his head than a person who was having second thoughts. Namjoon took it as a promising sign.  

However, even in his wildest dreams, he would have ever guessed the place where Seokjin ended up bringing him to.

The building looked rusty and there was some trace of graffiti here and there along with some attempts of repainting to make the place look more neaten up, even though from the looks of it, it was clear that the staff at some point had just given up since some graffiti looked fresh.  

Namjoon didn't want to look dumbfounded in front of the older and so he tried his best to keep his emotions under control. The older though, seemed to sense his inner turmoil because he squeezed his hand and led him beyond the sliding doors that let them inside the building.

Namjoon had never once entered a community recreational center for numbers zero before. Contrary to what the institutions had said about it being places that encouraged foul behaviour, Namjoon didn't have any type of opinion about these kinds of places. If anything he thought of it as more than an alcove of an insurgency, like a waste of time and effort.

The centers were recreational places, sometimes also functioning as after school for kids whose parents worked till late. But more than anything, with time the centers started to act as a meeting point for numbers zero, and that was what possibly scared the government. It unnerved them even more than knowing that the centers taught the arts to a section of the population who had no opportunity to pursue them as a profession after High School. That was instead the part that actually made Namjoon wonder a lot, because why would they go through the gruelling of learning how to dance, act, sing, paint or even play an instrument and maybe fall in love with one of those if it was a love with a date of expiration set.

Anyway considering the bad reputation that the community centers held among the majority of the population, Namjoon knew that the fact that Seokjin, a Kim, hung out there, quite often if the receptionist cheerful “good morning Seokjin!” was of any indication, had been something the older had harboured in secrecy. Namjoon was sure that if the Kims or anyone out there found out about this, it would have been a huge scandal, but looking at how Seokjin led the way even further inside the building without any care in the world, he was also pretty sure the older didn't care. Or if he had learned something about Seokjin in all those months, he was probably ready to fight in the eventuality that he was discovered.

“Hyung what are we doing here?” Namjoon asked rather timidly when Seokjin brought him to what it looked like the locker room of a gym. Seokjin opened a locker and judging by how full of things was, it had been assigned to him for a while.

“I volunteer here,” Seokjin replied absent-mindedly as he checked an old shirt before handing it to him. “Wear this, the kids can be wild and it's highly possible that you’ll end up with your shirt smeared with paint,” he concluded.

All of a sudden the older looked nervous as if he was afraid of Namjoon's reaction and the younger then understood how important all that was for the older, even if he didn't know why. “Cool. Then I'll go change in there,” Namjoon simply replied with a smile before disappearing behind a stall.

When he came out with the new shirt on, Seokjin was waiting for him, changed as well and with a more relaxed expression, making the younger eager to find out why this place seemed to mean so much to him.

At that moment, Namjoon felt his phone vibrating in his pocket and he took it out, briefly checking it who had contacted him. When he realized that it was a message from, Mrs Choi, he suddenly decided he didn't want to deal with it during a day like that, in which Seokjin had come out of his shell to show his true self to him.

He opted to put his phone inside Seokjin’s locker before following the older outside.

Whatever it was, it could wait.