I woke up really early in the morning, just like usual, i almost didn't sleep last night. My best friend, jonghyun who i love ever since he saved me from a car accident told me that he has a girlfriend. That day i was planning to confess tomorrow, but i guess i was too late. It hurt me a lot.

~flashback~

I was in a restaurant, ordering something for a takeaway. I was so focused in talking with my friend, the cashier that i was startled when someone called my name.

"Kibum-ah!" Hearing the familiar voice that i love so much, i look towards the source and saw Jonghyun sitting with a girl at some table at the back.

"J-jonghyun hyung... nice to see you" painting a smile on my face, forgetting about the girl he was sitting with when he walks towards me. My heart began to beat faster.

"Kibum-ah what are you doing here?"

"Just ordering something for a takeaway. My mom wants to eat something from here. What are you doing?"

"Kibum-ah, guess what?! I got a girlfriend and this is our first date"

Hearing that makes my heart broken into tiny little pieces "t-th-that's g-great" trying to smile.

"I know! Not just that she's a great person. I think you both will get along well! You want to meet her?"

"Y-yeah..." why can't i stop stuttering.

"Here you go key! Mm... is this man your boyfriend? Hey you, take care of little Kibum okay?! He's too fragile. If something happens to him, i'm gonna hunt you and murder you. Got it?!" I was startled at what noona said.

"Taeyeon noona~~ stop that! He's not my boyfriend!" No matter how much i wish he is. "Not to mention he has a girlfriend!" I wish someone caould take her out of the picture. Sigh.... why would i think of such thing about someone innocent.

"Boyfriend or not, you got to take care of little Kibum here! Got it?!" That seriousness in her face makes me melt. Such a good person she is.

"Yeah.... if course i'll take care of little bummie! He's to small for the cruel world" he's talking as if he didn't heard about the boyfriend thing... too busy glancing at his new girlfriend i guess... But his last sentence made me giggle.

"Yah hyung. Look who is talking" this time, Taeyeon noona giggled with me too.

"Whatever" pouting, Jonghyun drag me to where his girlfriend is sitting. Girlfriend... sigh..

"What happen bum? You have been sighing a lot lately"

"Me? Sighing? Did i?" Laugh and pretend. Yes, something happen. Something that i can't do anything about it.

Jonghyun just smiled at me. That sweet smile that makes me melt inside all the time. I wish he'll only smile at me, but of course there is someone new who he will share the smile to.

"Bummie, i hardly believe you are okay. Should i take you home?"

"No no. I told you i'm fine. I want to meet your girlfriend" i smiled. Again, a fake smile. I want to see if his girlfriend is really a good person"

"Okay... if you said so... but i'm still going to take my little bummie home"

This guy is gonna be the end of me. "Whatever"

As we arrive at the table, a girl who i believe is Jonghyun's girlfriend called Jonghyun.

"Oppa! What took you so long? And who is this?"

"Neh.. sorry sekyung-ah. This is Kibum, my best friend"

"Oh, Kibum, i heard from oppa that you're a good friend" Sekyung smiled a t me which i smiled back.

A friend. My heart ached. It hurts to much. "Annyeong Sekyung-ssi" i smiled. Of course it wouldn't be polite to not smile when meeting new people.

RING DING DONG RING DING DONG RIGGY DING RI~

My phone rang, i saw the caller ID and saw it's my mother. She must be wonderung where i am.

"I'm sorry but i have to go. My mother is calling. See you next time!" I smiled again, saying goodbye and walk towards the entrance.

"KIBUM! Wait!" Jonghyun called me.

"Neh? What is it Jjongie?"

"I did say i'm going to take you home. So i-"

"You go have your dinner with your girlfriend. I'll be fine. I don't want to ruin your date. Your girlfriend has not finished eating. It would be really rude to leave a lady eating a lone hyung. Now go" patting his shoulders, i turn and walk back home.

~flashback ends~

Jonghyun told Sekyung i'm a good friend. Just a friend. That was how the first sentence in my poem starts.

When i heard that from him
"I heard you're a good friend"
It hurt so much.

I cried all night that i barely be able to sleep. My heart ached so much. The thoughts that i'm just a friend to him. I envied her. Both look so good together. I am never gonna have a chance to be with him...

I took out my notebook and write the next paragraph

I hated and envied you
you looked so good together
Who am i to be relieved?

Sigh... closing the notebook, i got up and went to the bathroom for a quick shower. As i finished, i got dressed in my school uniform and went down stairs to see both of my dogs, Comme Des, a brown poodle and Garcons, a black poodle sitting by the stairs waiting for me. Just like everyday. Comme Des is half a year older than Garcons but Garcons has a bigger size than Comme Des. 

Jonghyun bought Comme Des and Garcons for me on my birthday. He said that if i took good care of them, that means i love him. And of course, the love he said was just as a friend. But for me, it's everything hench i took very good care of them. Even more than i take care of myself.

I live with both my parents in an apartment. They knew about my uality and also knew about me having a crush for Jonghyun and tried to cheer me up ever since i told them Jonghyun has a girlfriend.

"Kibum-ah don't forget about your breakfast! It's still too early for you to go to school. So eat up! Don't worry about thise two puppies. I fed them already"

"Neh umma" sitting down on the dining table and start to eat my mother's cooking. Mm.. delicious~

"Kibum, i'll ride you to school. Is that okay for you?"

"It's okay appa. You go to work. I'll just walk to school by myself" i smiled as i got up and put the empty plate on the dish washer.

"I'm going now! Bye!" Waving to my parents, i walk to school alone.

~~~~~

Just like any other day, i walk out of class the last. As i walk to the school gate, i saw Jonghyun talking with Sekyung noona. Sigh... Jonghyun didn't even talk to me today. Not even in lunch.

Walking back home, i directly went into my room, two puppies following beside me, jump on my bed and lie there.

I took out my book from the drawer and open the page where i wrote my poem. I wrote another sentences.

I'd be sorry if i hated the person beside you
Because you look so happy next to him

My phone vibrate, the caller ID is Jonghyun. Now he wants to talk? I answered the phonecall

"Hello?"

"Bummie, do you know how to confess? I wanted to but don't know how"

My heart kept on aching. Why did you do this to me Jjong? How do you think am i gonna confess to you?

"Jjong you pabo! Just walk to her and tell her. Tell her you lover her without holding back. I'm tired. I need to sleep"

"Bummie, are you okay? You sound like you are crying. What happen?"

Crying? I felt the tears dropping down my cheeks.

"No i'm okay Jjong, i was just whatching some sad drama. Hehe.

"Okay bummie. But tell me you when have problems okay? I'm worried about you. You've been so down lately"

"Neh. I need to wash up and go to bed. Goodnight Jjong"

"Neh goodnight" hung up

I cried. Letting out all my tears. Reaching my pen, i wrote on my book

If You Love Her
If you want her
More beautiful than flowers
You have to love her more
If You Love Her
If you need her
Tell her without holding back

If You Love Her
If You Love Her

I felt both puppies snuggling on my side. I cried a lot that night.

~~~~~

The next day at school, i was walking along the corridor when i tripped on someone's feet. I fell and his knees hit the floor hard. I shouted and tryed to move my legs but it's numb. My tears almost fell by then. Looking back, i saw Sekyung. She was checking her nail as if she didn't saw me fall.

I thought that she is a good person. Why didn't she help me? "S-sekyung noona. C-could you help me?"

The look she sent me surprise me. He looked me as if i did't fall and is perfectly fine. But her words struck me.

"Dongsaeng-ah. I knew about your feelings for Jjongie and i'm not gonna let you affect him. Jonghyun is not a like you. So you better back off! !"

Like that, Sekyung walked away.

Tears was about to fall but i wept them away as i heard footsteps coming.

"Kibum! Are you okay?"

I looked back to see Taemin, Minho, and Jinki running towards me.

The three of them are also Jjong and my best friends. They knew about my feelings for Jonghyun and on my request, didn't tell Jonghyun about it.

"Kibum? Don't cry. Please. We will tell Jonghyun about this!"

"Jinki hyung, don't. Please"

"Kibum! For God's sake. That girl doesn't even love Jonghyun! She is only going for hyung's money. I am going to stop this. You should be the one standing next to Jonghyun! Not that new girl"

"Minho... please just don't tell Jonghyun about this" my precious Jonghyun will be upset. He loves her. It would be bad if i ruin it.

"Minho hyung, jinki hyung, lat's carry Kibum hyung to the medical room"

~~~~~

"The bone in his knees cracks a little. It will heal in just 2 days if you don't move much. I suggest you to stay home for these two days"

"Neh seongsangnim" sigh... i don't want to be in bed for 2 days...

"Come on Kibum, we'll take you home"

"Thanks you guys"

Jinki piggy backed me to the parking lot. Taemin opened the door and Jinki put me down on a sitting position on the back car seat and move to the driver seat. The others went inside the car too.

When we reach my home, this time, Minho piggy backed me inside the house, as we enter the two puppies were waiting by the doorway.

"Kibum? Is tha- OMG! WHAT HAPPEN TO MY BABY?!"

"Ahjuma, Key tripped on someone's foot and fell on his knees. The doctor said he crack his bone a bit. But it will be heal in just 2 days if he dom't mive much"

"Thank you for taking him home Minho"

"Neh ahjuma, i'm heading back home now! Bye"

"Goodbye Minho. Visit with the other 2 soon!"

"Neehh"

When Minho was out of the house, mom went to the kitchen and took some food for me.

"Thanks umma. Has the puppies eaten?"

"Don't worry, i've fed them just before you come home.  Now let me ask you, are you okay sweetie?"

"Neh. I'll be alright"

"I'll call your appa to carry you to your room neh? Eat your dinner for now"

"Neh umma. Kamsahamnida!"

~~~~~

2 days went fast and i am finally able to go back to school. It was 5 more minutes before school ends for the day. I was packing when the bell rang. Again, i was the last to went out.

I was startled when the teacher called me. "Kibum, as it seems that you've recovering well, the principal wanted to talk to you. Meet him at his office,okay?"

"Neh seongsangnim" bowing down, i head for the principal's office. Knocking on his door, i enter. 

The principal was looking at some files when he noticed me. "Kibum-ah come sit here" i sat on the chair infront of him.

"What is it that you wanted to tell me sir?"

"Ahh Kibum. I heard that you've been recovering well?"

"Neh"

"That's good. So SM entertainment wanted the school to have a singing event tomorrow. If they found the best singer, they'll be a trainee in SM. Also the lead student, Jinki chose you and some others. The others had been informed yesterday. I am looking forward for your great performance Kibum, you may leave now"

"Neh seongsangnim"

Why would Jinki chose me? I don't even know what to sing

I was taking out my things from the locker when i felt someone behind me. Turning around, i saw Jonghyun looking at me. He looked angry.

"So, gone for 2 days after harming my girlfriend? What is it with you Kibum? I thought you said you'll get a long with her? I cant believe you would go and ask Taemin to tell me that Sekyung hurt you when what really happen is the other way around!"

"Jonghyun, what do you mean. I never harm your girlfriend! What makes you think that?!"

"So playing innocent now? Dissapearing for 2 days and then play innocent? I thought you are my best friend Kibum. Just tell the truth!" He grabbed my shoulder. It hurts.

"Geumanhae! You want me to tell the truth? Why don't you ask your girlfriend to tell the truth huh? I bet you believe her more than you believe me!"

This time grabbed my hand and pull me towards the parking lot. I shook off his hands but he won't let go.

"So you really are accusing my girlfriend of lying. We-"

His hold on my hands hurt me. This isn't the Jonghyun i know. I can't hold it anymore! I slapped him with my other hand so hard. He let go of my hand, in shock. Tears rolling down my face. "Well, i thought YOU are my best friend. I guess you change that relationship the moment you had a girlfriend. You rarely talk to me, you rarely even see me. I had enough Jonghyun! I hate you! I'm leaving!"

Tears are bluring my eyes now. That's not true. I can mever hate him. I love him too much. I ran. Tan out of school, ran away from Jonghyun. It is raining. Even the sky knows how miserable i am.

~~~~~

That night, i couldn't sleep. It hurts too much. Why did Taemin told him? I knew this would happen if Taemin told him. I felt betrayed.

Didn't he said he'll protect me? But he can't even protect me from himself. When will he realise i love him?

Again tonight, both puppies snuggle up next to me, as if they are trying to comfort me.

It was 10.38, i still can't sleep. Taking out the notebook from my drawer, i openned the page where i left off. Taking out a pencil, i began to write.

I see a lot of sides of you
That I haven’t known before
I didn’t know that you could be so child-like
(I didn’t know)

My phone suddenly rang. Looking at the caller ID, it was Taemin. I picked up.

"Hyung, i'm sorry but i had to tell him! Kibum hyung, if he doesn't believe what i said and think it's the other way around, he doesn't deserve you. Hyung, please don't cry"

I cried even harder, the tears can't just stop flowing. I love him too much. Seeing his behaviour towards me this afternoon shattered me.

"Hyung, i heard that Jinki hyung chose you to sing tomorrow. I know you have been writting poems. We could use that. We'll help you compose tomorrow. Meet us early in the morning at my house. Hyung, i'll call you back later, okay? Please don't cry. If Jonghyun is truly your bestfriend, he would realise his mistake soon. Again, i'm sorry Key hyung" then he hung up.

I'm just being such a fool and desparate too desparate. He's too lovable, his smile, too pretty. But, hhe way he talked to me, the way he trust his girlfriend more than he trust me, makes me feels smaller, makes me feel like i'm just gonna have to move on. 

You’re so pretty, it hurts, you’re so lovable
These feelings make me feel smaller
You became someone I cannot love
But you’re looking at me and smiling

But Minho's words. Did Sekyung noona really love him? Of course she does! She won't do this to me if she doesn't love Jonghyun.

If You Love Her
If you want her
More beautiful than flowers
You have to love her more
If You Love Her
If you need her
Tell her without holding back

If You Love Her
If You Love Her
If You Love Her

Oh yeah

If You Love Her
If you want her
Don’t ever let go of her hands (oh yeah)
If You Love Her
If you need her
Don’t give me a chance

If You Love Her
If You Love Her
Oh If You Love Her
If You Love Her

If You Love Her
(If You Love Her
If You Love Her)
If You Love Her Woo
If You Love Her
If You Love Her

Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

I cried again and again. I didn't sleep that night.

~~~~~

When i saw through the window that the sun has risen, i sat up. My eyes burn for crying too much and didn't sleep at all.

I took a quick shower, dress up, taking my book and leashes as i wanted to take the kids out for a walk then go to Taemin's house.

~~~~~

It was 1 PM when the singing event start. The other three had finished composing the song, and i've practiced singing them.

So far everyone has a nice voice.... but no one could beat Jonghyun's angelic voice. I've heard him sing once. I twas beautiful.

I miss those days. Jonghyun, when will you realise that i love you?

"And now, the last participant! Let us call Kibum!"

I rised from my seat slowly and walked on stage. I was nervous. Then i spot Jonghyun. But his girlfriend is nowhere to be found. She must have gone to the toilet to avoid looking at my ugly face. But the look on Jonghyun's face He was looking at me with his apological and charming smile that i love so much. I suddenly felt in peace after looking at his smile.

The i heard the music starts. Bowing down, i sang my heart out to Jonghyun.

neoui cham joheun chingura deureossdan hanmadi
geu saramui insamari naegeneun apasseo

cham mipgodo bureopgo joha boyeo
wae naega mworago maeumi nohigo
miwohagi mianhan neoui saram
geu gyeotui haengbokhan neo

If You Love Her
If you want her
kkoccboda geunyeoreul deo akkyeojwoya dwae
If You Love Her
If you need her
akkimeopsi malhaejugil

If You Love Her
If You Love Her

mollasseossdeon neoui manheun geosdeuri boine
ireohgena ai gateul jureun micheo mollasseo
(nan micheo mollasseo)

cham yeppeugo apeugo sarangseureowo
ireon maeumi nal jakge mandeuljiman
saranghaeseon andoel sarami doen neon
nal bomyeo usgo issne

If You Love Her
If you want her
kkoccboda geunyeoreul deo akkyeojwoya dwae
If You Love Her
If you need her
akkimeopsi malhaejugil

If You Love Her
If You Love Her
If You Love Her

Oh yeah

If You Love Her
If you want her
kkok jabeun du soneul (Oh yeah)
nohchyeoseoneun andwae
If You Love Her
If you need her
naege gihoereul jujima

If You Love Her
If You Love Her
Oh If You rove Her
If You Love Her

If You Love Her (If You Love Her If You Love Her)
If You Love Her Woo
If You Love Her
If You Love Her

Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

Unknown to me, my tears fell. Quickly bowing down, i ran backstage, the other 3 waiting for me.

I kept on crying but only the 3 three of them noticed.

"Bummie" that voice, i quickly wipe my tears and turn around. Looking at him coldly

"What do you want? Don't you have a girlfriend to be talking with? And stop calling me that!"

"Bummie quit the act. I wanted to talk to you. Come" reaching his hands towards me. I kept on thinking but then, accept.

We walked to the school's garden. "Bummie," he grab my hand. It felt gentle. Too gentle. He looked at me in the eye "i'm sorry. I should have never hurt you Kibum. I promised my self that i will protect my little Bummie but i hurt him myself. It's unforgivable"

Then i saw tears on his face. "Why are you crying and apologizing? Why don't you just go to your girlfriend? Don't you love her?

"No! I begin to realise, that she's been hurting you all along. I saw how you run limply yesterday. Then Taemin's words hit me. Bummie, i don't have a girlfriend anymore. I don't love her! I love someone else! Someone more important. Someone who i saved from an accident"

"Jonghyun! I thought you love her! And who is this someone? Do i... know her" yes, i break again. I felt more tears begin to flow out again.

"Yes you know this person. I have loved this person too much that i had doubts about myself. That's why i dated Sekyung that i hurt this person a lot. It turns out, i really do love this person. I love this person and i'm going to confess now"

"Then go. Go confess to he-"

"Kibum. I love you ever since i saw you. The first time i approach you when you were a new student. I saw you and i felt like... i knew you from the start. Then we became bestfriends. That day you were almost hit by a car, i wouldn't think about myself and ran just to save you. I love you too much that seeing you hurting, hurts me even more. I never realize that and thought that it was just a random feeling.

So i dated Sekyung, i dated her because i wanted to block out those feelings but i can't and i hurt you. Not to mention hurt you physically yesterday. When Sekyung told me that you told Taemin to tell me that you hurt Sekyung, my mind couldn't process. I blocked out those feelings that i thought Sekyung was telling the truth. She had been stealing my money and she had been hurting you all along.

Yesterday, when you slap and told me you hate me, realization hit me. I just realised how much i hurt you and how much i love you and broke up with her. I cried Kibum. I cried my self to sleep. I kept on thinking that i can't forgive myself even if you have forgiven me for hurting you like that.

Your song Kibum. It tells me how much you have been hurting because of me. I'm truely sorry. I swear i love you"

By now, i couldn't stop crying. "Yah pabo! I started to love you ever since you save me from that car accident. But Jjong, loving the same gender is wrong... we ca-"

"If loving the same gender is wrong, i don't want to be right. So now, Kibum, will you go out with me"

"Jjong.. of course" i cried harder,  this time, tears of happiness.

"I won't let you go Kibum" he hugged me. God how i love this man. Don't ever saperate us please.

~~~~~~~~~~

Too long, confusing. And not really that romantic.... and lame... sorry for dissapointing you guys!

I got lost when wrtiting the last part. Like how am i gonna end it. So..... yeah...

Comments!! (I'm an attention seeker XD)

See you later!