Chapter Nineteen

Day 11

“Wet the shirt and press it on her nose.” (Korean) Namjoon ordered.

“B-but hyung, we don’t have enough water. I-it was.. spilled earlier.” (Korean) Taehyung said bitterly, his gaze turning grim.

“Just get it!” (Korean) Hoseok demanded and Taehyung immediately complied.

“N-no, I’m okay. You don’t have to—” (Korean)

“It’s not okay, Yerin, we should stop the bleeding.” (Korean) Yerin tried to protest but the others seconded Namjoon’s side.

Yerin’s nose crooked slightly in the bridge and her nose bleed won’t stop. Her eyes are red from the tears but it just kept on falling, her voice didn’t waver and she didn’t even sob.

How strong is she, honestly?

As soon as Taehyung arrived with a wet cloth in hand, Namjoon carefully placed it under Yerin’s nose and forced her to look up.

My heart is beating erratically from the incident, I really tried to calm myself and even my breathing but I kept on panicking. Pacing back and forth and crying.

Jimin’s arm is in deep pain because he used his injured arm to punch Yoongi. Yoongi’s face is beat with blood and bruises but only Hoseok was able to clean him up even though he’s also upset with the guy.

We all are upset, mad at the least, no, those are understatement. We are burning with such intensity of emotion we can’t even figure out what we’re feeling right now.

We’re mad, hurt, hopeless, sad, alone. All at the same time. We tried so hard to be strong until this point but right we just.. break. I.. I just don’t know until when we’re going to strive hard and survive. All the hope just shattered into bits and is hard to piece it together again.

I’m very certain that this point onwards, we’ll now focus ourselves on how to die.

“Unnie..” I want to comfort Eunha, and Umji, and also Yuju. But I’m exactly the same as them, I need someone to comfort me too.

“Ouch!” (Korean) Yerin yelped.

“Sorry.” (Korean) Namjoon said urgently.

“How is Jimin’s arm?” (Korean)

“He can’t control his arm, hyung. Can’t even move it. It’s too painful for him.” (Korean)

“How much food do we still have?” (Korean)

“Not enough to feed us all.” (Korean)

Their voices came through and out my hearing range, then suddenly, it became muffled. Their blurry voices are distant until all I can hear is a faint line similar to a heart machine. The indication of death..

When we return..

There’s no return anymore. Everything is going to end here.  

“Sowon.” Someone’s calling my name but still a distant voice.

“Sowon!” I turned to look at Jin’s worried face. The moment he held my shoulders and shook me a little, I felt sudden dizziness and witnessed my surroundings swirling in front of me. I held unto Jin’s arms when my knees give in and then darkness enveloped me.

Everything hurts.

It’s like I’m stamped with mountains of brick. I can’t move even a muscle, it literally pains..

I can’t even open my eyes.

“J.. J-jin”

“Hmm?”

 “Jin.”

“Sowon-ah, can you open your eyes?” I made a careful shake of my head. I want to move my body so badly but I can’t turn.

“Hmm, it’s okay.” He whispered. The hand I didn’t know he was holding all this time was gripped firmly by him. “Just continue to rest then.”

I groaned and tried my best to open my eyes, and when I did, I almost cry when I only saw darkness.

“Hey..” only my eyes moved to where the voice was. And sitting beside my lying form, facing my direction, is Jin.

“I… I t-thought I had go-ne bl-blind for a… moment.” I coughed, feeling the dryness in my throat.

“Don’t speak, we don’t have water anymore for you to drink.” I saw him cringe at what he said and I momentarily spaced out, looking at the dark ceiling.

Right.. I remember.

How could I even forget?

Yoongi, and Yerin, and Jin. The food..

My insides start to bubble with mixed emotions.

How..?

How can we survive now?

 Ha, who am I fooling? Ever since the accident happened, there will be no way out. Help is not coming. We are all bound to suffer here like this until there’s nothing left of us. Our family will lose a member, but they can move on, and we.. we are meant to be forgotten for the rest of their lives.

I didn’t know I was gripping his hand very tight when he suddenly yelped and retrieve it away.

“You’re supposed to be weak! Gods, look at my fingers. They’re all cramped!” he cried and clutching his fingers. He’s so good in overreacting. Psh.

“Maynhey..” I barely whispered, but I guess he heard it because he starts to snort.

“What did you even say? Maynhey? What language is that, Sowon?” he teased but in a low voice.

I just rolled my eyes before closing it. “I said sorry!”

“Maynhey.” He mimicked. “Pfft! It’s mianhae, Sowon-ah.” I didn’t answer and just continued to close my eyes.

“Aish, don’t close your eyes! I’ve been waiting here only to see you awake.”

“Then stop teasing me.”

“I won’t promise.” He answered with a little laugh. I clicked my tongue but a smile still escaped my lips. When I opened my eyes again, I tried to move my legs and bend on the knees to sit up but I heard a crack on my bones.

“Omo!!” Jin gasped and covered his mouth with his hands to suppress a laugh. He points at my knees. “Your bones just cracked!!” he teased.

“Because I was lying on my back the whole time without moving?” I replied mockingly. But Gods, that was so embarrassing! I almost look like an old granny.

“Just help me up!!” I commanded and tried to get up. Even though he’s still laughing, he managed to lift me and let me sit on my .

“Ahhh!” I moaned as I stretched my body, then there’s more of bone cracking much to Jin’s entertainment, and then crouched almost immediately after. I literally have no strength.

“Oppa.” I whined and my forehead collided with the side of his shoulder. “I feel so drained.”

He heaved a heavy sigh before tapping my head like a puppy. “We all are.” He said in a soft tone.

“And your biceps are long gone.” I said absentmindedly before poking his now skinny arms.

“So, you just admitted that you have a on it, huh?” I nodded that made him chuckle.

“I guess it’s safe to say it right now. We won’t be living after this anyways.” I said without pause, then he stopped chuckling. I didn’t lift my head from leaning on his shoulders. I don’t want to see his face, I don’t want him to say that we’ll get through this.

I don’t want to hear his encouragements.

Because we will never be..

“Sowon—”

“Can I go to Yerin?” I whispered and I felt him move to face me but I stopped him by the arm. “Please.”

There was no movement after. He stayed very still, and I waited for him to respond. I can tell he was contemplating on what to do or say to me, but he’s being careful on his words.

“O-okay. Let’s get you up.” I pushed myself away from him and he got up first before helping me stand. He looped my arm on his and we walked to where Yerin and the other ladies are, not even far from where we left.

When we reached them, Jin carefully let me sit on the ground before he told me he’ll be with the guys. I nodded in confirmation.

“How’s your nose, Yerin-ah?” I asked and pointed at my own nose. Yerin smiled at me and formed a half smile. The bridge of her nose is swollen with a small cut, and it’s slightly crooked too.

“You?”

“I guess I’m fine. Just a little drained.” I muttered weakly. I turned to the other three and my heart almost sank. The rim under their eyes are so dark and their faces are so pale too. I wonder how I look now, since I wasn’t able to check myself since.

I gathered my together and really forced myself not to cry.

I badly want to live, I so badly want to get over this and go on with my life like I didn’t even experience this but this situation, their faces..

It scarred me, and it will continue to scar me for the rest of my life, even when I’m on the other side of the world, I’d still carry this burden with me.

“Yerin-ah..” I looked behind Yerin and saw Hoseok coming towards us. “Oppa.” Yerin called out with a little pout.

“It still hurts?” (Korean) he pointed at his nose and Yerin nodded.

“But I can handle the pain, oppa. How is Yoongi-oppa?” (Korean) though I couldn’t understand what she said, she still whispered the words to Hoseok while stealing glances on my way. What’s the point of whispering though?

“I can’t talk to him right now, I’m still pissed at what he did. But I’m sorry in behalf of him.” (Korean) Yerin looked back towards the direction of the boys. I tried to search for the thing or person she’s looking at but I couldn’t figure out who or what.

“It’s okay, oppa. I’m angry too, but please, don’t leave him alone.” (Korean) Hoseok smiled at her weakly before patting her head.

“Say what.” His face suddenly lit up with excitement despite the devastating look. We all turned to him