Dedicated to Sock Hui, who wanted a fic filled with angst.> <

 "No! It can't be! Hyung, you are joking right? Kiki can't be dead! Tell me where he is now!" Yoseob clutched at Doojoon for dear life, refusing to acknowledge the fact that his beloved band mate, lover was gone. The other B2ST members stood around awkwardly, none of them willing to be the one to dash the visual maknae's hopes. But as Yoseob looked around at their solemn faces, he knew that it was the truth. His band mate, his yeobo was truly gone. He slumped to the floor, chest heaving as sobs tore through his throat. Burying his face in his knees, he tried to muffle his cries but the tears kept coming. Flashes of the happy times they had together swam through his mind, each memory cutting deeper and deeper into his heart, tearing at the bleeding wound caused by the news of Gikwang's death.

As he gasped for air through the sobs, Yoseob felt a wave of dizziness overwhelm him. Black spots aded his vision and he felt his head swim. Swaying slightly, Yoseob struggled to take in enough air as he clutched at his chest. Distantly, he heard someone ask, "Seobbie? Are you alright?" A figure knelt beside him and two hands grabbed hold of his shoulders, giving them a strong shake. "Seobbie? Seobbie! Answer me!" his head flopped limply on his neck as he was shook. Eyes tilting upwards, Yoseob thought he saw Gikwang hovering above. "Kiki, don't leave me.." he muttered, stretching out a hand to the hovering figure. "Hyung! He's delusional!" Dimly, he heard Dongwoon utter. Strong arms lifted his body up and he panicked, thinking they were taking him away from Gikwang. "No! Kiki! Don't let them take me away! Kiki!" Yoseob screamed, thrashed in the person's hold. Tears cascaded down his cheeks as he reached helplessly to where he thought Gikwang was. Panting harshly, Yoseob struggled one last time before he fell into blissful oblivion.

"Hyung, do you think that Yoseob hyung is okay?" Murmured words and phrases drifted into Yoseob's ears slowly when he regained consciousness. Opening his eyes, he gazed around blearily at the worried faces of his band mates. Then, the events which happened just now flooded his mind; his panic when he heard Kiki was at the hospital, his fear as he sped there, the grief he felt after hearing about Kiki's passing. Bolting upright, Yoseob stared around the room, half hoping that everything was a dream and that at any moment, Kiki would walk into the room. As if knowing what he was thinking about, Doojoon heaved a sigh and gestured to the other members to leave the room. After they were gone, he turned to Yoseob and handed a white envelope to him. "Seobbie-ah, this was what Gikwang wanted me to give you. He didn't say what it was, but I hope you'll feel better after reading it." Unusually tactful and sensitive for once, Doojoon smiled sadly at Yoseob before he too exited the room.

Yoseob stared at the envelope in his hands, tears blurring his vision. 'Did he dare open the envelope? Was he strong enough to not break down when he read the letter?' Several thoughts ran through his mind before he finally ripped open the envelope, the contents falling out haphazardly.

Dear Seobbie,

When you see this letter, I'll most probably be gone already. I'm sorry for not telling you about my condition, but I just can't bear to take the happy smile on your face away. The doctor told me that I had leukemia, and that it couldn't be treated because it was already in the final stage. I know that you must be crying so hard right now, making those little whimpers that I can't bear to hear. Do you know how your tears pain me? I never want you to shed a tear, even if it's out of happiness. I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly. If I can rewind time to when we first met, I will. You are the best thing that has ever came into my life, but it seems that fate doesn't want me to have you all to myself for such a long time. I love you so much, to the point where it hurts. I know that everyone calls me 'Babo Kwang', but I am certain of my own feelings; of my love for you. I still remember when you confessed to me. I was dumbstruck. Never would I have thought that you would actually like me. Initially, I thought that the one you liked was Doojoon, so can you imagine the joy, the ecstasy that I felt when you confessed? That was the first time that I felt whole, because you were by my side. You have always been beside me, cheering me up with your infamous aegyo. Those puppy eyes will be the death of me, do you know that? I can never resist your adorable pout, especially when you turn it on me.

Have you seen the photo that I placed in the envelope yet? Remember when we were taking it? At that time, everyone was going crazy over the 'Doo Pose'. Keke. Instead of going along with the flow, you decided to put on a really surprised expression with your hands on your cheeks. Remember what you said to me after the photo? "Why did you do the 'Doo Pose'? That was so boring!" you had complained. Up till now, even as I lay on the hospital bed writing this letter, I still recall the warmth that you radiated on that day. Yoseobbie, you will always be my one true love. Please keep the smile on your face forever arasso? Saranghae.          

Love,

Kiki

Upon reading the last line, Yoseob burst out into tears. "Babo! You are the reason for my ever-present smile, don't you know that? How can you expect me to keep smiling when you aren't here anymore?!" Heartrending sobs tore from his throat as he hunched forward, pressing the letter to his chest. The crinkling of paper reminded him that there was still a photograph included. Picking it up, Yoseob cracked a weak smile as he caressed the smiling face of Gikwang, imprinting his last smile into his memory. Crawling out of bed, his hands gripping the letter and photograph tightly, Yoseob shuffled out of his room. "Hyung, are you okay?" Dongwoon asked immediately when he caught sight of Yoseob walking out of his room. "Seobbie, where are you going? You should be resting now!" Hearing Dongwoon's question, Hyunseung hurried out of the kitchen towards Yoseob, trying to hustle him back to rest. "Hyung, I just need to go outside for a breath of fresh air.." Yoseob replied weakly, trying to muster up a smile for the sake of his band mates. "Ahh.. Okay then. Don't stay out too late arasso? We'll be worried about you." Hyunseung said, knowing that he should give Yoseob some space. "Arasso, hyung." Yoseob muttered. Stumbling out of the door, Yoseob headed straight to the rooftop. Sinking down onto the bench that sat at the side, Yoseob ran a hand across its cold surface. "Kiki, do you still remember how we would come up here to cuddle whenever we feel like it? How we would escape here whenever Doojoon is in one of his moods?" he murmured to himself. Smiling sadly, he continued, "I miss you so much, Kiki. I wish that you are still here.. My heart hurts without you around.." Yoseob's voice trailed off as he choked back a sob. Standing up slowly, he made his way to the edge of the rooftop. "But don't worry, Kiki. I'll be joining you soon.." Climbing up, Yoseob stood looking down at the dizzying drop to the ground far far below. "Mianhae Doojoon, Hyunseung, Junhyung and Dongwoon. I can't live without Gikwang with me. I hope that you understand my decision. I never meant to go this step, but the pain is too much for me to bear. Mianhae. I'm too weak a person. I hope that I can see you guys on the other side next time. Saranghae.." Taking a deep breath, Yoseob closed his eyes and stepped forward into thin air. "Kiki, I'm here to join you." was his final thought before he fell into blackness.

Mianhae readers! I hadn't wanted to kill off Yoseob and Gikwang.. *sobs sobs*

Please forgive me!! > < Hope that none of you cried too hard while reading this..