The spam

That Kang

 

Seulgi shook when her pocket vibrated on her hip. Her phone seemed alive after taking a rest from dance practice. Looking to her right, she saw Irene fumbling with her phone, and she looked around. Couldn't have made herself more obvious. 

She ran out of the practice room with her phone taken out. 


Irene: It's been a freaking week. 

The message showed. Seulgi ruffled her hair, making it a mess. Her feet paced back and forth outside, mind having no sense of direction. There's got to be something to say. 

"Miss me already?"

Hell no.

"Can I gets some nudes now?"

Sounds too eager.

"Can you show me your selfies?"

Maybe not. 


Kang: Oh. I was texting other girls. 

 

It took a along minute for Irene to reply. 


Irene: That's...... Nice. 


Kang: Why? Are you jealous? 


Irene: In your dreams. Well, if you don't need me, you can delete my number. 

 

Delete her number? This is a chance to end this. Yeah. 

Seulgi pushed her phone down her pocket, walking back into the practice room. Irene is giving her a chance to stop this, so why not take it? 

 

It's a Sunday,  one day since the start of her new adventure. Seulgi was in the living room, where all the other members were watching another episode of the liar and his lover. 

 

As the others all had their attention fixed on the flat screen Television, Seulgi walked away. She loved Joy's acting, and supports the younger girl's acting career, but right then she felt that something else had more worth her attention. 

 

She locked the door behind her, then slide under her bed to rummage through the box of smartphone. It's her favourite past time now, and if anyone were suspicious of her actions, she'd say she was trying to focus on her game in a quiet room. 

 

She smiled as she logged into her KKT account. Since the blank profile picture looked plain, she uploaded another photo to replace it. 

 

After being satisfied with her choice, she proceeded to start another conversation with Irene. 


Seulgi let out an evil chuckle. Let the games begin again.

 

Seulgi: Hey. I'm just curious but what's your name? 

 

Irene: Bae 

 

Seulgi:Whut?

 

Irene: You only gave me your surname too. That's fair. 

 

Seulgi: OK. 

 

A few minutes passed. The conversation died. Seulgi didn't use social media as often as the maknae did, and was less experienced in conversing online too. Idol life just hinders her to have even the simplest skills. 

 


Irene: I thought you were really going to delete my number. 

 


As soon as she saw the message, Seulgi sighed in relief. Thank God Irene was initiative. 

 


Seulgi: haha.... I was busy. 

 

Irene: Busy playing with yourself? 

 

Seulgi almost yelled. Did she just read that? 

Her face flushed, and already she felt her body heat up. This is bad. Bold Irene was playing out a whole different character while chatting with her. 


Another beep on her phone  brought her eyes back to the screen. 


Irene: Aww don't you think you should be more confident? It's not wrong to...you know. All men do that. 

 

Do what? She asked to the wall. Dodge that. 

 

Seulgi: I'm confident!

 


Irene: Pfft. That's the fattest joke of the century. 

 


Seulgi: I am! I'll prove it to you. 

 


Irene: Alright. Send me a . 

 


Seulgi: I.... 

 

 

Irene: Guys usually whip out their ropes by now. Why are you hesitating? Hmm? 


Whip out their ropes? What? Seulgi randomly guessed what to say. 


Seulgi: Mine will surprise you though. 

 

Irene: Oh.... Is that so? 

 

Seulgi: Uh-huh. And this is not a but.... This will prove that I'm a brave person! 

After looking at Google results for the riskiest things to send to a girl, she found a photo many men have confirmed to send to women and worked effectively to intrigue their attention. 

 

 

 

10 minutes passed without a response. 


Kang: Hey. 


Irene: What? Don't waste my time. 


Seulgi swallowed. Irene showed no interest in the photo at all, not did it convince her what Seulgi intended it to. Her hands cupped her cheeks,  slapping herself twice. 

Dammit. Irene just ignored her. 


Kang: I need your nudes. 


She tried to push on. 


Irene: Why? There's lots online, with even various categories to choose from. 


Kang: But I only want yours. 


Irene: Is that a lie? A minute ago you told me you've been texting other girls too. I'm not dumb. 

"Ah. I made a mistake." 


Seulgi raked through her hair, her remaining hand tapping words in high speeds. 


Kang: They're my colleagues. We were working on a project.


Irene: Heh. What do you do anyway? You're surely the type to have a lot of spare time. 

Kang: That's not true. 

Kang: I'm a...


Irene: A? 

Think fast. Seulgi, think! 


Kang: An artist. ;)

Irene: are you serious? 

Kang: Yeah. 

Irene: Which type of an artist?


Seulgi: I'm a singer. Though I'm not that famous. 


Irene: Hmm... I'm not honoured.


Kang: That's fine. 


Irene: Can you sing for me? 


Kang: If that impresses you..... Let's call? 


Irene: Alright. 

 

A few seconds later, she tapped a few shortcuts, immediately leading to the dialer—


Seulgi groaned. She forgot she's not supposed to sound like herself either. 


She did a quick surf on Google Play, finding a voice changer app. After finding the app with the best ratings, she downloaded it and called her Unnie, clearing almost a thousand times before the line connected. 


"Hello." Seulgi smirked. The alpha filter should work. 


"Hey. What about you start already, ball-less man."


"I have balls okay? I'm just awkward on messengers."


"Whatever. Quick."


Seulgi took in a deep breath. There's a list of songs Irene knew were her favourite, so she couldn't possibly lead the older girl to the obvious yet by choosing common songs. 


She thought hard, and opened her eyes, singing with a lower voice than usual. Had to add some effects to make her sound real. 


The first song that came to mind was this. 


"Ooh whoa, ooh whoa, ooh whoa."


A chuckle erupted from the other end. 


Seulgi gripped her fists tight. "I know you love me, I know you care."


"Just shout whenever, and I'll be there."

Shuffling was heard in the background. 


"You are my love, you are my heart. And we will never ever, ever, ever be apart."

Suddenly—

Voices were heard outside, and apparently Joy had came back from filming the final episode of her drama. 

"Seulgi-ya, it's time for our 5 minute talk."


The silence on the other line scared her. Woah. Bae Joo Hyun multitasking at a ridiculous level. 

Seulgi didn't know what to do, so she sang softer each second, hoping she won't be heard. 


"And I was like, Baby, Baby, Baby oh."


"I'm like baby, baby, baby no..."


Eh?


"I'm so baby, baby, baby hoo..."


The crack of her voice didn't sound good at all. It's a shame to realize she had forgotten the lyrics for the chorus and stopped altogether. 


Also unknown to her, Irene had unmuted her voice. That sneaky woman. 


"What's wrong?"


Seulgi blushed madly, shifting uncomfortably on her bed. "I g-got to go, dinner is ready for me."


"Really? Are you sure it's not some random ?"


"Y-yea!" She replied a little too loudly. At least she knew what the other woman meant. 

"Hmm."


"I'll be letting you off the hook this time. Chat with you later." The older girl hung up,  seeming to be in a hurry. 

Seulgi sighed inwardly, wondering how the leader managed to do all that in the midst and still listen to her sing at the same time. 


Yeokshi Irene. 

During the short meeting, Seungwan gave her weird looks now and then. They discussed having a small party for Joy since she had finally finished filming her first drama. Throughout the time Irene spoke, Seulgi felt immense stares from the older woman, it tingled her in every way. 


"That's all then. We'll be heading out tomorrow at 6pm." Irene confirmed, typing on her phone to tell their manager. 


"You girls really don't need to this." Joy clung onto her, convincing the rest that money shouldn't be spent to just celebrate her first acting gig. 

"Come on, Jwoy, you worked hard for this." Yeri hugged her partner in crime, whispering words into the sobbing girl's ear. It's been a hard season for Sooyoung nonetheless. 


Seulgi went to the kitchen for a glass of water, feeling someone following behind her. Her mind easily registered it to be Wendy's right away.  Her roommate smiled at her, then turned serious. The contrast was a little bit overwhelming for Seulgi so she only raised her eyebrows. 

"Seungwan?"


Wendy narrowed her eyes, pointing an acussing finger to her chest. "You. You don't usually sing that low. If anything, the Kang Seulgi I know loves to sing higher notes more when she sings."

"And what did I hear, Baby by Justin Bieber ? Who were you singing that to?" Wendy showed that she wasn't very fond of that song in particular.

Seulgi shushed the younger girl with her fingers, looking behind to make sure Irene wasn't there. 

Think, Seulgi, think! 

"I just starting using a singing app. I just wanted to try something new."

The younger girl crossed her arms. "Then why are you embarrassed?"

Seulgi stepped backwards, whispering under her breath. "I knew I shouldn't have sang that song."

"What do you mean?" Wendy continued her interrogation. 

Seulgi jerked up, shaking her head repeatedly. "N-nothing at all."


 

 

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Comments

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ISPEISU-DANDY #1
Chapter 3: AHHH yes we love scammers ;b
flyingpringle #2
Chapter 3: Hahaha... I'm​laughing just imagine it to be real...Seulgi just so fit into this story... a dumb bear lol

Irene had so much fun I see
Ardem_Joseph23
14 streak #3
Chapter 3: Man, Joohyuns good at playing this game... Hahaha.. Poor bear.. She's suffering not knowing Irene knows it's her from the start.. Hahaha...
Natsuki37 #4
Chapter 3: WTF THIS IS SO FUNNY XD HAHHAHAHA I LOVE YOU AUTHOR XD
bunnygom23 #5
Chapter 3: THIS IS SO FUNNY HOLY
'I WILL YOUR TIL YOU SCREAM'
IS IT BAD I READ THE PICTURES LIKE IT WAS AN ACTUAL SENTENCE LMAO
SEULGI U IDIOT AHAHAHAHAAHALAJAGGSJSKA
IM SUFFERING SECOND-HAND EMBARASSMENT HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE
I CANT BREATH
THIS IS ACTUALLY GOLD
I SERIOUSLY CANT WAIT FOR MORE CHAPTERS
I NEED MORE COMEDY IN MY LIFE OH MY GOD
MenaMarco
#6
Chapter 3: LOL at that picture xD
deemons
#7
Chapter 3: Dumbear or adorkable bear?It's interesting story author-nim
Ardem_Joseph23
14 streak #8
Chapter 2: I'm simple guy.. Men are easy.. Hahaha..
ISPEISU-DANDY #9
Chapter 2: OH. MY. GOD. xD can't wait for the next chapter. This is interesting
taenyeverywhere
#10
Chapter 2: Dumbear xD