The empty gray streets, it’s so empty

Feeling blue, I opened the glass window

Rain drops fall onto my hands

The longing starts to well up and flow in my heart

 

I miss you for some reason tonight

Tears rise up

Inside my rising heart

 

When it rains, the memories fall down and the pain spreads

I look at you that starts pouring out

Then I freeze in the times that are so clear, as I am wet with the memories

Then I draw out the beautiful you in the rain

 

Kim Taeyeon. 28 years old, born on March 9, 1989 at Jeonju, North Jeolla, South Korea. She’s a singer and a rookie songwriter working under SM Entertainment.

Taeyeon has been singing all her life, professionally for nine years—five years of being known as an ost singer, being dubbed to have divorced seven times due to the emotions she’s able to convey through her singing. Countless fellow artists and singers have praised the color Taeyeon brings into the songs she sings, whether it be an ost or a cover.

Due to her growing popularity after her duet with SHINee’s Jonghyun for ‘Breathe’, the title song for SM The Ballad’s album, and as well as having a song of her own in the album entitled ‘Set Me Free’, SM Entertainment took a chance on her and signed her up for a contract as a solo artist after five years of singing for other’s albums.

Everything was still so new to her, her schedule was packed from morning to evening with additional vocal training, hair and makeup trials and meeting with various producers and composers discussing the types of songs that were to be included in her first mini album. What excited her the most would be listening to the demos of the song selections for her album, Taeyeon would listen to them with her eyes closed and head leaning against the wall where she imagined how her face would look like when she’d sing that particular song live, the hand that was free from the microphone would have a mind of its own, making gestures that somehow helps her indulge in the song a little deeper.

As soon as SM confirmed the rumors of her debut, news spread like wildfire through different social media outputs. Not less than an hour after the confirmation her name shot to number one as the most searched online, nationally as well as internationally. Right after the official announcement, Taeyeon was overjoyed when she got a phone call from her parents and siblings saying how proud they are of her, her brother specifically telling her to send him two cd’s—one with a signature so he could display it proudly at his café and the other to play on loop at his café. Taeyeon had never laughed and cried so hard in her life.

And with the release of her debut mini album opened various doors of opportunity for Taeyeon, her album featured in the Billboard’s Top 100, not to mention her all-kill in South Korea earning her the title solo artist of the year. With the immense growth of her popularity, she was casted to an array of shows, together with her constant appearances in music shows her schedule has never been so full that her manager rejected some requests from shows to allow her more than three hours of sleep.

This new chapter in her life has brought her great joy, knowing that her music brings joy to millions of listeners still feels surreal, she still feels jittery whenever her fans chant her name enthusiastically while waving their lightsticks to the rhythm. Everyone knew who she was, making it more difficult for her to enjoy those night strolls through the park near her apartment, stopping by the night market to fill her tiny stomach with an array of street food stalls stretching as far as her eyes could see—back when things weren’t so complicated.

 

---

The long and dazzling season

Will it fade away and stain inside the photo album?

 

The night is growing deeper

Promises that I can’t forget

Your warm embrace, goodbye

 

When it rains, the memories fall down and the pain spreads

I look at you that starts pouring out

Then I freeze in the times that are so clear, as I am wet with the memories

Then I draw out the beautiful you in the rain

 

Taeyeon jolts awake, the insistent beeping of her alarm clock is starting to fade into the background as she ignores the sound emitting from the electronic device. She slowly rubs the sleep out of her eyes and goes to back staring at nothing, reaching blindly for the off button on the alarm clock. Silence enveloped her room but everything was so loud in her head. Taeyeon tries to shake away the voices and memories that threaten to get louder.

After taking deep breaths to calm her rapidly beating heart, her ears devoid of the heavy buzzing earlier, Taeyeon gets up and makes her bed. There’s a light skip to her step when she remembers that she had gone grocery shopping last night with her manager, meaning there was a fresh supply of fruits and bread stocked in her fridge. Upon entering the kitchen Taeyeon stumbles upon two medium sized boxes on her table top, there’s a post-it stuck on top of one of the boxes which read:

 

To my favorite dongsaeng,

 

                Aren’t I just the best oppa ever? I already know this but I needed to remind you of that fact. ㅋㅋㅋ I stopped by to bring you breakfast from the newly opened café near my apartment, hoping to eat with you before I left the country only to find out you were still drooling on your pillow. Gross btw. Ewww. Anyway, hope you enjoy the food I BOUGHT for you, think of ME when you eat, BE GRATEFUL you have YOUR FAVORITE OPPA taking care his favorite dongsaeng WITHOUT BEING TOLD TO. I’ll see you soon! Ppyong!!

 

 

P.S. your manager has been calling you nonstop when you were asleep. If you don’t want to be bothered, at least answer he’s only worried about you. You know full well he’ll understand that you don’t want to take on any projects right now, just talk to him. Properly.

 

Taeyeon chuckles heartily after finishing the note, carefully opening the boxes Heechul brought her. “Wow.” She says, her eyes going wide in awe at the sandwiches in one box and two cupcakes in the other. She stops herself from devouring the delicious meal and quickly runs to her bedroom to retrieve her phone. True to Heechul’s note, there were a handful of missed calls from both her manager and the company. There were also fifty unread messages on kkt from none other than her favorite oppa. Taeyeon momentarily ignores the missed calls and takes a picture of the sandwiches and cupcakes after carefully taking them out of their boxes. She then sends the pics to Heechul on kkt with the caption, I’ll eat this well favorite oppa. Your favorite dongsaeng would be forever greatful for being so thoughtful of her. ㅋㅋㅋ she floods their chat with emoticons and stickers to compensate for his messages earlier. Taeyeon locks her phone and sets it down, muttering jal meokkesumnida before taking her first bite.

 

 

It was in the middle of watering the plants in her mini garden did her phone begin to ring once again. Taeyeon stares at the contact info displayed on the screen for three more rings before finally answering.

“Hello?”

“Taeyeon-ah?” her manager sounded surprised, not really expecting her to answer his call, “H-how are you? I was starting to think I annoyed you.” His tone was remorseful and it mad Taeyeon’s heart ache, “You could never annoy me oppa,” Taeyeon answered immediately, hoping it would soothe her manager and remove previous thoughts of guilt for calling her. “you were there even before I was known, I’m more than grateful to have you beside me. I’m sorry for ignoring your calls, I was upset and I let my emotions get the better of me.”

“It’s alright Taeyeon-ah, I understand. I would never force you into taking new projects, knowing you’re not ready. I just wanted to check in on you, that’s all.” Taeyeon smiles at this, her heart feeling light and her eyes becoming watery. “I’ve been well oppa, I was actually surprised when there weren’t any fans or media stalking Jiwoong oppa’s café.”

“Ah, that’s a relief. You sound really well through the phone, I trust it that you’re well taken care of there?”

“Of course, my parents visit often, sometimes I spend a day or two back at home. Jiwoong oppa never forgets to feed me, every time he has an opportunity he makes me eat.” Taeyeon chuckles remembering the time when her brother hovered over her like a mother hen, asking her constantly if the food was okay or she should continue eating and to not be shy since it’s only him. “I think I’ve gained weight actually, I have to check the scale later.

It feels so good to hear her manager laughing again, she’s forgotten how much she missed hearing it. “He’s missed his little sister so much, can’t blame him for babying you.” Taeyeon nods albeit knowing her manager can’t see that she did, “Enjoy your time there, Taeyeon-ah. Cherish every moment. Also, take as much time off as you want. I know it may sound unbelievable but the company doesn’t really mind, they’re willing to wait for you. Everyone is, even me. We’re all willing to wait for you.”

Tears unwillingly flowed from her eyes, her hand holding her phone tightly against her ear. Taeyeon doesn’t deserve the patience and dedication everyone has for her, making them wait on her forever would be unfair since she doesn’t have the slightest idea as to how long she would take for her heart to heal. “Thank you oppa, for everything. I promise to get better really soon, wouldn’t want you to work for someone else any time soon.” Her manager doubles in laughter upon hearing this, making Taeyeon to chuckle along with him. “I wouldn’t want to work for someone else anyway, it’s either you or I get another job. Maybe establish my own business, do you think being a restaurant owner would suit me?” They both engage into hearty laughter, further lightening the weight on Taeyeon’s shoulders.

 

 

The trip to her brother’s café was a pleasant one, as it is always. It felt good to be able to walk the streets without having to worry about journalists secretly following her or running into fans which usually ends up being a mini meet-and-greet since word spreads fast whenever celebrities are involved. Taeyeon breathes in the fresh air and relishes the feeling of the sun hitting her bare face, it feels so good being able to experience something as simple as this again.

“Good morning Taeyeon-ah.” The cashier, Seungwan or as written on her name tag—Wendy, greets her kindly with a bright smile on her face. “Good morning to you too, is oppa here yet?”

“Yup! He just arrived actually, he’s at his office.” Taeyeon salutes, making Wendy giggle at her antics before going to her brother’s office. She knocks softly, loud enough just to let him know someone was at the door yet not too much that it would disturb his mood this morning. She hears come in from the other side of the door and proceeds quietly into the office where she is welcomed by the smell of freshly baked double chocolate muffins (the café’s best seller, they’re undeniably good) together with the brewed coffee steaming from the two mugs at one side of her brother’s desk.

“I was starting to worry, I thought you got sick or something.”

“Good morning to you too oppa.” Taeyeon beams at her worrywart of a brother, “You shouldn’t worry over simple things oppa, you’re not getting any younger are you sure you want to speed that up by making up horrible scenarios just cause I was late for ten minutes?” her brother scoffs at this, the nerve of this kid, he thinks to himself, “All I’ve ever done is worry and care for you, and this is how you repay me for my efforts?” he lets out a hmph and swivels his chair to turn his back to her.

 

“Oppa,” Taeyeon sweetly calling out to her brother, taking soft steps towards him. She holds back the chuckle that’s about to burst from , can’t believe you’re younger than me, she says to herself when she sees her older brother visibly sulking in his chair—his pout was actually quite cute, you know if you’re into older guys who secretly has five-year old alter egos which only appear when those they care for reject their love and affection, normally due to minimum to lack of dating experience. (credits to mama Kim by the way). “you know I love you sooooooooooo much, right? You’re my one and only oppa whom I love and care for so so much.” Taeyeon emphasizes how much she loves her older brother by squeezing his body as best as she can, with her hands around his shoulders in a loving hug.

“I’m not your favorite though, Heechul is.” It was almost inaudible, if it weren’t for the fact that her face is nuzzling at his shoulders.

“You’re my one and only true oppa though, that’s better than his title, right?”

“No,” her brother whined, yes besides sulking he whines as well. Attractive, isn’t it? “one and only true oppa has been my title since you were born. That sounds more like an obligation, not of affection.”

“Then you’re my one and only awesome oppa who has been there since the day I was born, making you number one in the list of people who loves and cares for Kim Taeyeon.” then she places a lasting kiss on her brother’s cheek to seal his spot on being number one on the said list. “Eomma and appa aren’t included of course. Manager oppa comes second then Heechul oppa is at third place.” Taeyeon adds the last bit right at the last second, just so his brother would stop comparing himself to Kim Heechul. Heechul may have declared his undying duty to protect Taeyeon at all costs in social media and various shows but the bond she and her brother has could never compete to the friendship she has established with Kim Heechul.

The kiss on the cheek did the trick, as it always did, and the fact that Heechul was third place sealed the deal. A smile bloomed on her brother’s face, to which Taeyeon tried to squeeze the life out of it because her brother looked so cute and adorable she’s starting to wonder why ladies aren’t cooing at the sight of him.

 

 

Taeyeon helps at the café as a baker by day and a singer by night. Her brother was kind enough to open his kitchen to her, teaching her a few recipes, helping her be familiar with the equipment in the kitchen. After a day or two she was already helping in the kitchen, staying a bit longer after closing time to try the recipes she saw on YouTube. That is of course after singing a few songs at the café during the nights that she was scheduled to perform. At first Taeyeon rejected the idea when her brother suggested it, thinking it would attract too much attention to her and to her brother’s café. But it turned out she was worrying over nothing, true to their word her fans and as well as the media respects her wishes of stepping out of the spotlight for an indefinite hiatus.

A stage is still a stage, no matter what size, and the one at the café is her favorite out of all those that she had the privilege to perform in. There was a sense of intimacy between her and the small audience that fills the seats every night. Taeyeon has grown to like that she’s able to see her audience’s faces clearly, compared to having a faceless mass of people chanting her name and singing along to her songs. It was simple yet it wasn’t boring, and as she sang the setlist she planned for the night, she’s able to enjoy the various shifts of emotions that presents itself on the faces of her audience. It makes her love singing much more, knowing that she can convey the feelings of the song to the listeners.

 

 

“Good job today eonni, as always.” Seulgi, the one that takes the night shift after Wendy clocks out for the day, says as she pats her shoulder after wiping the last table before closing for the night. Taeyeon smiles and bids Seulgi farewell.

The cold breeze softly brushes against her cheek upon exiting through the front door of the café, Taeyeon takes in a deep breath and begins her walk home.

 

 

After having a quick shower, Taeyeon looks through her fridge for the other half of the sandwich Heechul brought her this morning. She places the sandwich on a small plate before popping it in the microwave for a few minutes, as she waits she pulls out a wine glass from the cupboard to pour herself a generous amount of the red liquid. Taeyeon takes a sip, liking the way the bitter liquid awakens her taste buds, and waits for the microwave to beep. When it does beep she carefully takes the plate out of the microwave and sets it on the table to let it cool for a bit, going back to her fridge to take out her last wine bottle, taking a mental note to purchase a few on her way to the grocery store tomorrow.

Taeyeon makes herself comfortable at the dinner table, her phone in one hand and the other touching the stem of her wine glass. It was her last glass, might as well try her best to make the wine last since she doesn’t feel like going to the convenience store a few blocks from her apartment to purchase a bottle or two of soju. She wasn’t nearly drunk enough to knock herself down when she hits the bed after cleaning up the dishes later, meaning she’d have to settle down with staring at her ceiling again, counting how many blinks does before she dozes off. Taeyeon sighs to herself, wiping away any last droplet of water on the small plate and places it back to where it was.

She trudges her way back to her bedroom, never forgetting to turn off the lights in the kitchen. Taeyeon checks her phone’s batter and decides against charging it, setting it down on her night stand instead and notices a familiar box haphazardly shucked underneath her bed. Flashes of last night’s events stops her from reaching towards it, deciding to give her heart a break. You were doing so well today, don’t ruin your mood with that box, she smiles to herself and opts to check the time on her phone. 2:30 am, it read. 30 minutes more before sleep envelops her.

 

 

----

A/N

I'd really love to hear a feedback upon reading this chapter ><;; Honestly I feel like there's so much lacking and it would help me greatly if you guys told me how this chapter went(?) Btw if you are reading this now, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read this. It means to much to me keke :P

 

Until the next update, see you~