Scared to be Lonely
Scared to be LonelyIt was great at the very start
Hands on each other
Couldn't stand to be far apart
Closer the better
Taecyeon POV
No, this is wrong
This is very wrong when I pushed her into couch and placed myself on top of her. She saw me, I found that she’s demanding
“What do you want?” she asked with her oh-so-sweet voice
“You…” I answered, half conscious
“Then please, have me”
I was about to undone her blouse when someone screamed at us
“Sis, I saw another sneaker there and… OOPPSSS I’M SO SORRY!” Krystal turned her body when we just have our shock faces. I jumped down from Jessica and stood nervously when Jessica tidying her clothes and cleared
“Soojungie?”
“I swear I didn’t see anything!” said Krystal still give us her back
“Please just turn around” said Jessica, commanding
“Well…” the younger girl finally obeys and looking at me, awkwardly “Uh, long time no see Taec Oppa”
“Hi Soojung” I bowed a little to her. , this time we became awkward
“Are you supposed to be having practice?” Jessica asked while crossing her arms. She sounds annoyed, or maybe she just faking it
“I… Just having a break and wanted to have dinner with you before coming back to practice” Krystal scrubbed her not-itchy nape while looking at her older sister who still being ice princess
“Well, if you have something unfinished I can…” Krystal continues her words just being cut by Jessica
“No we haven’t” said Jessica sternly and I felt guilty glare comes from Krystal “Let’s having dinner, together. Taecyeon?”
“Sure” I nodded
“I will change my clothes first” said Jessica again while walking into her room, leaving me and Krystal at the living room
“I’m so sorry…” Krystal moves closer to me. I just give her a wide smile
“It’s okay, Soojung” I addressed her favorite nickname “I don’t even understand what’s in her mind”
“Hmm?”
“I never being perfect for figuring what is actually she want”
“Oppa…”
“We’ll have time after dinner, don’t worry”
“Okay…”
Now we're picking fights
And slamming doors
Magnifying all our flaws
And I wonder why
Wonder what for
Why we keep coming back for more
The dinner actually came smooth. Jessica wasn’t bad mood again and we laughing all the night, forgetting about what happened earlier
Krystal discussing about Jessica’s new plan on her collection which will be launching next month. Somehow, I always adore Blanc & Eclare’s product as in my sister and Mom requested me to bought them
“I think I will bring that topic on my next meeting, Soojung” said Jessica after wiped with napkin
“Okay, Sis!”
“Have you done, Taec?” Jessica torn her gaze aside, to me
“Yeah”
“Let’s go home” Jessica stood and talking to Krystal. Since we’re here with my car, I should take her home or… Maybe she wants hail a cab.
“I will take Krystal to SM too” I said before Jessica maybe called her driver for Krystal
“Is it okay, Oppa?”
“It’s okay” I smiled and patted her head. Suddenly we heard Jessica’s flat voice which make us jolted for a while
“Done? Let’s go home”
Is it just our bodies?
Are we both losing our minds?
Is the only reason you're holding me tonight
'Cause we're scared to be lonely?
Do we need somebody
Just to feel like we're alright?
Is the only reason you're holding me tonight
'Cause we're scared to be lonely?
“Thanks for taking me dinner” I said when we arrived at her basement. She didn’t say anything and opens the door
“Jessi…”
“What?” she halted her move and looking at me. Collecting my brave, I grab her face with my palm and lean closer. I captured her lips when my hands slowly caressing her sharp jawline. I just gave a few pecks, but when I bit her lower lips, she parted and let my tongue invaded more
“Jess…” I pulled from out hot session but our forehead still connected. She wrapped my shoulders with her arms and taking the advantage for kissing me
I supported her back and makes the kiss deeper
“I love you, Jessica Jung”
Too much time, losing track of us
Where was the real?
Undefined, spiraling out of touch
Forgot how it feels
I forgot how I agreed to bring her into her room. But when she locked her door, I believe that she also wants me for tonight
I hug her from behind, and placed my chin on top of her head. She let her purr of agreement when I move my arm from her waist, down to end of her skirt. One hand move to her left which makes she jerked for a while but let me doing my thing
I travelled my left hand inside her dress and reached her
“Do you let me in?” I asked in my shaken voice. She chuckled
“It’s not your first time, why are you so shaken?”
“I don’t know” I move my hand to caress her sensitive spot while my lips moving into her neck “I don’t know…”
“Hmm” she’s humming when I inserted my first finger “More, Taec-ah…”
She balled her fist on the door when I inserted the second finger and her harder. She moaned and her body start to shake
“Jessica…”
“Taec… I’m coming”
“No, not now”
I pull my fingers and take her by the knees, bringing her into the bedroom. I tossed her body but she takes me on my neck, crashing her lips into mine
“Make me yours, tonight” she whispered and my earlobe, it . I took her dress within second and threw it into floor, leaving her with just undergarments. She moves her fingers, down from my jawline to my chest until reaches my abs.
“Took it off” she pointed my shirt and my pants
I nodded and pulled them off, leaving me with my boxer only
“Let me doing all for you, Jessica” I kiss her again and my hand sneakily reaching her strap, pulled them off
“Ah…” she moaned when I trailed my wet lips from her neck to her “Do it slowly…”
No, I can’t do it slowly princess
I continued to leave many marks on her neck and collarbone. She let her moans again and gosh… it very
“Just get inside me, stop teasing…” she said between her unsteady breath “Taec, please…”
“What? I can hear you” I continue to teasing her with my tongue, I know she couldn’t bear when I her neck, near her pulse
“Taec! Just go inside me!”
“Call my name again, princess. I love when you are fully demand like that”
“Taecyeon… Taecyeon, please…” she pleaded when I her and slowly caressing her abs
“Are you mine?”
“Taecyeon, I’m yours! Please!”
“Yea, princess” I positioned myself between her legs and take her off “I love you…”
I her with mine when she screamed. It just makes me harder. She grabs the sheet tightly and her eyes are closed. I know she’s enjoying it. I took her hand and intertwined them together. I still ing her until both of us reaching our
“Ha… Ah…” she sighed when I rolled into her side. I’m looking at her when she turned her gaze into me
“Good night, my princess” I said and kissed her forehead, before pulling her into my embrace
All the messed up fights
And slamming doors
Magnifying all our flaws
And I wonder why
Wonder what for
It's like we keep coming back for more
Actually, I can’t even close my eyes for a second. I was afraid. I’m afraid if I sleep then I realized when I wake up that all of this just my wildest dream
She’s sleeping peacefully on my arms and I found my serenity again. I love her pouty lips, only God and I know how the lips tasted the best
I can hear her phone beeping, she turned into silent mode but still the vibrate can be heard from my side. I took her phone and looking at the caller ID, make sure the caller is having important things because it’s already 2 in the morning
Tyler Kwon is calling
My eyes wider as I saw the ID. I debating myself to pick the call when it’s already turned into missed call
I don’t even brave for asking Jessica. Are we just losing our mind and missed our bodies together?
Is it just our bodies?
Are we both losing our minds?
Is the only reason you're holding me tonight
'Cause we're scared to be lonely?
Do we need somebody
Just to feel like we're alright?
Is the only reason you're holding me tonight
'Cause we're scared to be lonely?
Flashback
I slammed the table between us, looking angrily at Jessica who already have the brim of tears on her eyes
She said she will takes the risk even both company of us told for breaking up and they will release the news about us being very close friend
“Are you crazy?!” I yelled at her. After all of 2 years relationship, I never yelled at her. I always make her as my princess
“No” she replied sternly “It was for our sake”
“Our sake?!” I scrubbed my hair in frustration “They can make the biggest scandal which drive us down! Is that what you want?!”
“DID YOU EVER WANT THE RELATIONSHIP LAST LONGER ON THE FIRST PLACE?!” she burst on her anger “WHO IS THE MOST SELFISH PERSON RIGHT NOW? ME OR YOU?!”
“Jessica, I…”
“You got your job, me too. We promised to being together despite the obstacles and look what have you done here. Giving up? Okay, if that what you want”
“Jessica listen to me” I put my hand above her palm and caressing gently, to make her calm for a while “Both of our company will never let us free since the photo are leaked. They won’t make 2PM comeback if I couldn’t clear the rumor, so does for SNSD”
“We can fight for it”
“No, we can’t”
“Taec…”
“Can you see that SNSD is more popular than 2PM?! Of course you can assured yourself that SNSD won’t be affected, but us?! Do you ever think about us?!” I yelled again when she took her hand from my grip
“I’m so done with you, Ok Taecyeon!” she stood and slamming the door behind me, leaving me for good
Scared to be lonely
I’m still having dinner together with 2PM after we’re having discussion about next schedule. We’re having dinner after watching our Radio Star show together
Suddenly my phone beeping and I saw Jessica is calling. Still unsure about what was actually happen, I pick the call to receive a loud yell from my ex
“Are you crazy?! Why are you make our name appeared again on the search engine?!”
“Jessica, have you see the whole broadcast?”
“I saw and I’m pretty sure behind your ing manner about us was all bull!”
Because Jessica is actually cursed out loud and we’re on quiet place, my members heard it all and looking at my direction
“Jessica, listen to me first…”
“What?! Are you trying to tell me that you couldn’t move on? That you are sorry because not holding me last time?! Say it out loud Taecyeon, you are just a jerk!”
“Jessica, I can explain…” seriously there’s our first time having argument through the phone. We never had an argument like this, on the old time we usually called it off when we met
“No!”
“Can we meet?”
“No” she replied sternly “I won’t see you again, I never want to see your gut again”
“Jessica, why?”
“I’m scared” I can hear her voice start to shaken “I’m scared if I couldn’t handle myself for not breaking again and again”
End of Flashback
Even when we know it's wrong
Been somebody better for us all along
Tell me, how can we keep holding on?
Holding on tonight
'Cause we're scared to be lonely
Even when we know it's wrong
Been somebody better for us all along
Tell me, how can we keep holding on?
Holding on tonight
'Cause we're scared to be lonely
I was looking at her adorable sniff when her phone vibrated again. But that’s time, it’s Tiffany. I know it will be very important, since Tiffany is calling at this late. Slowly, I released her grip and took my boxer. I was wondering, is she having some boy clothes? Remembering that she might be having Tyler’s clothes crunching my heart
When we had the relationship, she’s still at the dorm so did I. We usually having at her house or the hotel, so I wonder if she had my clothes
I opened her walk-in closet and found some familiar jackets. She still has my jackets after all this time. The smell is like hers when I took one grey hoodie, so captivating
After taking the jacket, I was dashing outside to call Tiffany. I wondered what happened actually
“Tiff?” she already picks the call
“Taec Oppa? Why are you calling?”
“I saw you calling Jessi and she was like in deep slumber”
“YOU WHAT? WHERE ARE YOU NOW?”
“Geez, easy Tiff easy” I sighed “I’m at her penthouse and…”
“Wait us there!” Tiffany end the call. Just take 10 minutes, the bell is ringing. I opened the door and find Taeyeon was dragged by Hyoyeon and Tiffany
“We’re having drink near there and Taeyeon was knocked out. I will borrow the bathroom” said Hyoyeon while dragging her kid leader
“So?” Tiffany looking at me while we crouching down on the couch “What are you doing here?”
“Jessica and I just…” I sighed “Having ”
“What?!” she wider her eyes “Are you out of mind? Did you her? Or, did her you?!”
“OMG Tiff, why are you so negative?” I laughed “I don’t know, seems like our body missed each other”
“Are you crazy?”
“Yeah, I am”
“Gosh…” Tiffany facepalmed herself when scanning at me. She’s sure doesn’t understand why Jessica let me in and doing some terrible things “But, why are you here? I mean, did Jessica always being mad if you left her on sleep?”
“I was thinking about going home…” I sighed “I’m afraid if we just do it because both of us were scared to be lonely”
“And being coward as always, Taecyeon” she snorted “Go back to Jessica’s room. We already used to come here, so don’t need to worry because of us”
I nodded as Tiffany left me. Maybe she is right, Jessica always being mad if I left her when we’re sleeping. Slowly, I walk to her room again. She’s still sleeping under the warm blanket, she looks so adorable.
Part of me wanted to join her under the blanket, sharing each other warm on this breeze night
But another side push me for thinking about the reality, what if Jessica kicked me out the next morning?
Is it just our bodies?
Are we both losing our minds?
Is the only reason you're holding me tonight
'Cause we're scared to be lonely?
I was asleep for a while when realized that Jessica already took a bath and change her clothes from tonight. She sat on the coffee table near the couch where I was sleeping
She looking sharply at my eyes before speak those harsh words
“I told you for staying but why are you leaving me again?”
Scared to be lonely
Scared to be lonely
Eh, eh, scared to be lonely
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[A/N]
once again I should say thanks to 2PM2PM2PM for letting me in on the festival! Yeah maybe you guys will be suprised but Taecyeon and Jessica is like my favorite OTP all the time!
thanks for reading
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