Word count (without A/N): approx. 4K. Enjoy.

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At last, the journey through the bumpy road came into an end. The four of them treaded the path together, walking hand-in-hand towards their desired destination. But sometimes, whenever the current blew, there was somewhat an inevitable wavering that either pushed them back or pulled the others forward.

In Minki's case, he lagged behind. His other friends he met along the way stumbled in the middle the bumpy road, leaving Minki no choice but to continue his own journey to chase after his bandmates. Still, they advanced further, leaving Minki behind for a couple of distances. They took more steps further away from the maknae who failed to grasp their outstretched arms, and Minki found the gap between them too far to overcome.

Indeed, there was not a pot of gold for Minki at the end. He almost reached the finish line as one of the potential victors of the race, but before he could do so, he stumbled on his weary feet. As he laid on the ground in distress and disappointment, he could only stare ahead to watch his fellow competitors make it to the end.

So near yet so far.

He would have actually preferred if he was a total loser from the very beginning, but judging from the ranks he beheld through the whole journey, his fate was sealed to  just watch the others reach their rosy dreams while he was just... almost a winner.

Someone who was good, but not good enough.

Though, he could not care that he did not make it because someone more important needed to be comforted.

He kind of expected that Dongho would not get in, but Jonghyun...

No one saw it coming.

No one expected that the leader—who got first place for two consecutive weeks and showed most progress from everyone in their group—would not get in the final eleven.

Jonghyun was smiling the whole night, probably in effort to cheer Minhyun up who was the only one who got in. Despite his own victory, Minhyun bawled his eyes out in sadness that Jonghyun did not make the cut.

It was their agency's goal; for at least one or two of them to make it to the final eleven. That fact alone was enough to ensure them about their group's continuous existence. But it was so unfair for Jonghyun. He worked the hardest. He strived the most. He encouraged every one in the show whenever they were down. He helped the other trainees be the better versions of themselves and did his leader duties beyond what was necessary. He sacrificed a lot and did not deserve being left out.

Minki already expected that he himself would not make it. He was done undergoing the moping and self-pitying stage and was mentally prepared to be left behind by his three bandmates. He was ready to be stuck with Aron, uncertain of what was Pledis planning for the two of them. He already accepted his doom and prepared himself for the worst which was evident since the beginning, but what he was not ready for was the aching devastation when Jonghyun failed to make it.

Right after the finale, they went drinking during the dawn, planning to pass the time encouraging themselves despite the disappointing results of the show. The three did their best to comfort Minhyun who was downcast the whole time. Though, no comforting words could console and uplift the burden and guilt Minhyun bore in his heart. Their drunk selves threw their arms to each other while murmuring "gain strength" every now and then. They poured their hearts with every drink from their cups until their weary, gloomy souls were satisfied.

The next morning was spent trying to nurse their hangovers. Jonghyun and Minki stayed in their own dorm, unceremoniously sprawled on Jonghyun's bed up to the afternoon because of the pounding sensation in their heads.

They visited Minhyun in the other dorm to check up on him, only to find the door locked, indicating that the occupants of the dorm were still snoring their asses out.

They just let their bandmate rest who would be leaving in two to three days to proceed to the Wanna One members' dorm provided by YMC.

The couple spent the day replying to encouraging messages from their family, friends, acquaintances and labelmates. A couple of minutes after washing their faces and eating instant ramen for lunch, they found themselves snuggling and cuddling under the covers while watching an animated movie in Jonghyun’s room, something they had not done for quite a long time. Jonghyun wore nothing but sweatpants, while Minki wore a loose shirt and a pair of boxers. The younger’s head laid on the elder’s chest, while his arm draped on top of the Jonghyun's waist. Jonghyun, on the other hand, pulled Minki closer by his arm around the babe’s shoulder, occasionally rubbing it in a relaxing sort of way. His free hand fed the two of them with whatever food they had at the moment and wiped the mess smeared on his lover’s lips.

The movie was nowhere exciting, and soon, the two of them neither paid attention to the big screen at all. Jonghyun's hand rose from Minki's shoulder to the maknae's hairstrands, caressing the smooth locks of the babe. Minki let out an approving hum and scooted closer like there was more space to fill between their bodies already pressed together. Jonghyun smiled at the gesture, and rubbed his blunt nails on Minki’s scalp, earning him a series of incoherent mumbles that said ‘keep going.’

"Jonghyun, pick up the damn phone," Minki murmured groggily while glaring at the vibrating phone lying on the nightstand. "It was vibrating for the umpteenth time already. Don't you think it's important?"

"I just want to spend the day with my lovely boyfriend without any distractions," Jonghyun answered with a playful tone, to which Minki rolled his eyes.

Minki knew it was not fully true. Jonghyun was evidently avoiding anything that was related with the results of the show. For that reason, the maknae chose not to push the man to speak. He knew how much it hurt; Minki himself was greatly affected from the downfall of his beloved boyfriend.

Minki refrained from reading the articles and comments online. Jonghyun himself was not reading them, so why would he? He did not want to feel the pain of each and every comment saying how much Jonghyun deserved to win but he did not. He did not want to see the commending posts about his lover after the nation slept on someone as perfect as Jonghyun. He did not want to tremble in rage at whoever he deemed at fault; Mnet, the national producers, or even Minki himself.

"Shut up," Minki whispered. He then asked, "anyway, are we going to attend the gathering party on the next weekend?"

"Yes," Jonghyun replied, "most of the trainees are coming. It would be nice to bond with them again."

"Good. I miss my Minki Gaga squad even if I just saw them during the rehearsal and the finals."

Jonghyun laughed. "Those kids really like you, don't they?"

The maknae wanted to joke 'who would not like me anyway' but the lingering thoughts of being rejected by the national producers and being called a cheater for a senior idol like him joining the show stopped him.

Instead he answered, "yup. Gunhee was bugging me with messages that we should come at the gathering. Dongbin and Yongjin were the same. I almost threw my phone earlier because they sent replies all at the same time."

"At least you do not have Seonho clinging at you like a koala." The maknae laughed at the memory of the byeongari squeezing the life out of Minhyun by constant skinship and intimacy.

Minki laid his cheek on the warm expanse of his boyfriend's skin. Feeling and hearing Jonghyun's relaxing heartbeats caused Minki to be drowsier than he already was. He yawned and closed his eyes in an attempt to fall asleep especially when silence reigned in the room.

That was, until Jonghyun broke the ice.

"Are you still thinking about that damn competition?" Minki almost jumped from his spot at the sudden remark. He focused on the TV screen which flashed the main lead running with the leading lady away from the bad guys. He did not have the confidence to admit what he was thinking of right on Jonghyun's face. "It's not about me anymore. It's about you," he answered without looking at the elder male.

"I'm concerned. I want to hear the answer even if I know you're going to pretend you're fine," he added when Jonghyun did not speak.

"I don't have the audacity to lie to my boyfriend. I'm not fine at all," Minki heard Jonghyun say in a solemn manner.

The silence that the maknae offered was more than enough to encourage Jonghyun to go on. "I'm devastated. I failed a lot of people, like eomma, appa, our friends and labelmates, the national producers who believed in me, Pledis..."

How Minki wanted to retort 'here we go with blaming yourself and thinking of others again' but he bit his tongue hard, knowing that Jonghyun did not need any of those scoldings.

"It would have been better if you were me." Minki tilted his chin to meet Jonghyun's inquiring gaze. "I mean, it is better if you did not have a taste of short-lived victory. From the beginning, I am a loser. I was fated to be in the top twenty to watch the winners be called while I wait for nothing. I did not expect that much ever since the third elimination so the pain was almost not there. Because of that, I did not find myself caring when I found out that I placed last during the finale."

"I'd rather have you feel the lesser pain then," the leader muttered in reply. He continued the babe's hair while locking their gazes together. He could easily read the underlying messages in his lover's eyes, making him say, "I know how your mind works. You're plotting for Mnet's destruction the whole day. Come on. Forget about it."

"They touched you," Minki grunted and crossed his arms in annoyance at the very mention of the network's name. "Editing ninety-e