Prompt no: #095
Prompt: Jinyoung runs away from his wedding. A stranger named Mark finds him and shows him that love is so much more than what he imagined it to be. 
Title: Take Me Higher
Author: TheYoungBunny (Twitter)
Side pair: mentions of JJP
Rating: PG
Word count: 16k

 

 

 

Jinyoung stares into the full-length mirror, eyes scaling over his appearance. His tuxedo, which had been tailored and purchased months ago, was finally being used. The suit fits Jinyoung perfectly - the black color of the fabric sits nicely against his tan skin, and the cut of the clothing hugs his abdomen. He looks good, very good, but Jinyoung isn’t concerned about his appearance.

 

Looking at himself through the mirror makes his stomach churn. A mixture of nervousness and regret has Jinyoung’s hands shaking, trepidation at the forefront of his mind. Suddenly, the fact that he’s getting married seems too real, all too fast.

 

Jaebum had proposed to him about a year ago, although they’ve been together for much longer than that, starting off as close friends. When Jaebum had popped the question, Jinyoung hadn’t hesitated in replying, hugging onto the other’s frame, chanting the word “yes” over and over. Jaebum was all he had ever wanted in a partner: kind, considerate, and was always there to lend a shoulder when Jinyoung needed it most. Things had been great.

 

However, somewhere along the line, something had changed for Jinyoung. It was like a switch flipping inside of his brain, how sudden the change was. Initially, Jinyoung blamed it on the stress from work and planning the wedding, claiming that he was just tired, that he would be fine (only a half lie, considering the amount of effort it takes to plan an event as big as a wedding, and balancing both that and work had Jinyoung stretched thin). As the days drew closer to the event and as the plans were finalized, it became clear that Jinyoung could no longer excuse his feelings as just “being tired”.

 

He had once been excited about this day, anticipating its arrival, insisting that it couldn’t come any faster, but now, Jinyoung only felt helpless. He felt stuck in a position that he no longer wanted to be in. The silence in the room felt overwhelming, tension hanging thickly in the air, leaving Jinyoung lonely and confused, and the closer he considers the mirror, the less he recognizes himself in the reflection.

 

Jinyoung’s eyebrows pull together in anxiousness. Jinyoung can feel his hands begin shaking, and just the thought of walking out into the reception room makes him nauseous.

 

“Come on,” he whispers to himself, attempting to placate the fears. “You can do this. You’ve wanted this for so long.”

 

The more Jinyoung thought about the event, the more he felt himself panicking. How was he supposed to face a room full of the people he cared about and lie straight to their faces? How was he supposed to go out there and pretend that nothing was wrong?

 

Jinyoung had fell out of love with Jaebum a long time ago, and now it was too late to change that. Having no control over his future was one of the things Jinyoung disliked the most. Waiting, prolonging this problem, had only trapped Jinyoung further into this messy situation, with no means of escaping it.

 

...Or could he?

 

It starts as a brief thought, as his eyes once again rack over his torso. Jinyoung shakes it off - it’s too risky, not to mention cruel in its intent. Despite how he might feel romantically, Jaebum has always been his friend. Even just the notion of hurting him makes Jinyoung’s heart ache.

 

The more Jinyoung thinks about it, however, the better the idea starts to sound.

 

Jinyoung runs a hand through his dark hair. It’s a completely selfish thought, and there were so many risks that came with it. The first and most obvious reason not to go through with it was that Jaebum would be crushed and left to deal with the pieces of a broken heart that Jinyoung could have prevented in the first place, had he only had the guts to call the plan off in the first place. Besides that, there was the issue of leaving the venue unnoticed, which seemed to be an impossible feat. If he was caught, what would all of their friends and family even think of him?

 

The fleeting thought begins to take shape in what Jinyoung can only describe as an awful idea. His mind, in the panic, forgoes any guilt he might have about leaving. The more threatened Jinyoung feels, as the clock keeps ticking down to the beginning of the wedding, the more confident he grows in leaving.

 

Jinyoung tears his gaze from the mirror. His personal belongings sit on the top of a counter, positioned just underneath a fairly large window. Without hesitation, Jinyoung immediately pockets what he thinks is useful to take with him - his keys, his wallet, his phone, and the clothes that he had originally arrived in (suddenly, he feels very thankful that his pockets are deep, or else he wouldn’t have been able to carry as much as he is).

 

Next, his attention is turned towards the window. It’s definitely wide enough for him to crawl through, but passing by unseen would be hard. Seeing that this was his only option, Jinyoung scrambles to undo the latch, and push the panel open.

 

Cool spring air brushes over Jinyoung’s face, forcing a pink to rise to his cheeks. He begins to climb on top of the counter, his long legs crouching in order to gain access to the opening, but just as he begins to step out, Jinyoung hesitates.

 

“Am I really doing this?” he asks quietly to himself. Jinyoung spares a glance at the door behind him. He can hear the chatter of the group from here, as the time draws closer and closer to when Jinyoung is supposed to walk down the aisle. Guilt once more creeps into his consciousness. How could he be such an awful human being, running away from his own wedding because of feelings that he wanted to avoid? The feeling is fleeting, leaving behind only relief at the thought of leaving.

 

Jinyoung hardens his resolve, and without turning back, crawls out the opening in the window and makes his way to the edge of the street.

 

-

 

Finding a taxi was easy enough, but avoiding the stragglers outside of the venue was a challenge. In truth, Jinyoung isn’t completely sure how he managed to pass by unseen, but takes it as a sign that this is what he needs to do, despite the selfish reason.

 

In terms of where Jinyoung could go now, there weren’t many options available to him where he wouldn’t be immediately recognized or searched for. Returning to Jaebum and his’ shared apartment wouldn’t be a good idea - their apartment would probably be the first place that everyone would look for him, and risking that, even so soon after his departure, wasn’t worth it, no matter how much he desperately wanted to grab a few of his belongings.

 

Staying with Jackson was out of the question, too. Although they’ve been best friends for years, Jinyoung knows how loyal he is to Jaebum, too. Jackson’s uncanny ability to let secrets slip was not beyond Jinyoung, but if there was anywhere else Jaebum knew Jinyoung would go, it would be to Jackson’s. The minute any word managed to get to either of his two closest friends, he would be found in a heartbeat.

 

There weren’t many other places for Jinyoung to seek out, after that. Any family or friends were out of the question, seeing as they’d probably be looking for him alongside his fiancé (ex-fiancé?). Seoul, thankfully, was a rather large city. Seeing as how most of the people he and Jaebum knew were in the downtown area, the farther away he went from there, the less likely he would be found.

 

At his insistence, the taxi driver continued to drive away from the center of the city, until Jinyoung was more comfortable with the distance between him and everyone else he knew.

 

The taxi eventually drops him off onto a narrow street; it’s lively, people still bustling along the sidewalks, the chimes of shop doors being opened drifting through the breeze. It seems like an inconspicuous enough place, and from the glances he’s had out of the car window, there have been options on where he can rest his head for the night.

 

The one place that Jinyoung saw is just across the street from where the cab dropped him off. Trotting his way across the pavement, he crosses the road and heads inside of the building.

 

Even from the outside, the establishment looked privately owned, and the whole place practically screamed the word “homey”. It was a nice change of pace, even if it was temporary. Jinyoung knew that he wouldn’t be able to stay here forever, no matter how much he wished that he could, but he would at least enjoy the peace while it lasted.

 

The woman at the reception desk was friendly and made no attempts to ask why Jinyoung was dressed the way he was or why he looked like he had just escaped something truly perilous, instead just handing him the key to his room and bidding him a good day. Jinyoung decided that he liked that woman, despite having never gotten her name or any specifics about her.

 

Jinyoung’s room was on the top floor of the building (which, considering the building wasn’t very tall in the first place, means that it isn’t a very far walk up the stairs). The hallways are easy enough to navigate, and Jinyoung manages to locate it with ease. He fumbles with the keys in his hands for a moment, still shaking from the adrenaline, when he hears a door being opened not too far from him.

 

Out of instinct, Jinyoung glances up towards the sound. A figure - a man - steps out of one of the rooms soundlessly. He’s dressed casually, his hair parted to one side, and locks his door, before glancing up himself and catching Jinyoung’s stare.

 

The man himself looks about Jinyoung’s age, maybe slightly older. His face looks thoughtful as he watches Jinyoung for a moment. In that short moment, the other gives him a silent nod of a head.

 

“What’s the occasion?” the stranger asks softly.

 

The questions catch Jinyoung off guard completely, even though, dressed up so nicely like he is, Jinyoung should have expected it. He stands stunned in his spot, key still in hand and ready to unlock his door.

 

He must stand still and silent for a little too long, because the stranger gives him another polite nod and a muttered apology, before making his way down the hallway and around the corner.

 

Still shocked, Jinyoung hesitates for a moment, his mind feeling blank. He hadn’t meant to offend whoever it was that he had encountered, but answering the question would make the situation feel all too real. Instead, Jinyoung regains his bearings, and enters his room.

 

The room itself is furnished in a similar style as the rest of the building. It’s small and cozy, and right now, the bed looks particularly inviting. The exhaustion of his actions begin to set into his bones. Jinyoung feels stiff, limbs growing heavier with each second. Fear and guilt no longer on his mind, Jinyoung pulls out the objects from his pockets and tosses them onto the nightstand haphazardly, and falls onto the bed. The minute his head hits the pillow, Jinyoung, tired after the stress of a long, exciting day, falls asleep.

 

-

 

The sound of his phone buzzing on the nightstand is eventually what wakes Jinyoung. His eyes open lazily, blinking from the sudden intrusion of light from the window. One hand reaches up to wipe away the sleep, and the other props Jinyoung up into a sitting position on the mattress.

 

He’s still wearing his tuxedo, he finds, his brain finally catching up with his surroundings. It didn’t even seem like he managed to make it underneath of the blankets before he was knocked out cold yesterday.

 

Yesterday. Past events flash by in his mind, and all too suddenly, Jinyoung is reminded about where he currently is and why he’s here. If he wasn’t awake before, he sure as hell was now.

 

The sound of his phone vibrating again catches Jinyoung’s attention, recalled as to why he woke up in the first place. The screen was still lit from the incoming notification when Jinyoung grabbed it.

 

There was more than just one notification on there. Missed calls and unread messages from his friends and family flash across the screen, following one after the other, as his phone keeps receiving them. Most of the notifications, expectedly, were from Jaebum, followed very closely by his parents and Jackson. Fear seeps back into his body, petrifying Jinyoung in his spot on the bed. He desperately wanted to read them, to respond to all of them, but the idea of having to face his decision and the people he had hurt in the process renders Jinyoung immobile.

 

More and more hysterical messages continue to collect, and unable to look at his phone any longer, Jinyoung powers off the device and places it back on the nightstand, swearing to himself that eventually, he will have to face it.

 

Just...not right now.

 

Finally getting a chance to change into the spare clothes he had bought, Jinyoung groans at the sensation of taking off the suit. He hadn’t realized how uncomfortable he had been sleeping in the tuxedo until his more casual clothes replaced the outfit. Jinyoung finally felt like he could breathe a little easier when the soft cotton of his shirt replaced the stiff material of the dress shirt.

 

It occurs to him, as he changes into his clothes, that he would need to go out and buy some more. The problem of running out in a hurry meant that Jinyoung couldn’t stop by his apartment and grab some of his own, familiar clothes, which meant that he would have to find a store nearby to find some temporary clothing.

 

Ignoring the constant stream of notifications on his phone (rather successfully too), Jinyoung notes the time. It’s still early in the morning, meaning that it probably wouldn’t be hard to find a store that was open.

 

With his plans set for the day, he straightens his shirt and grabs anything that he might need while he’s out, but deciding to forgo his cell phone for the time being. Jinyoung promised he would deal with it later. There was no need to tempt himself by bringing the device with him.

Jinyoung steps out of his room, and winds his way outside of the hotel. The street outside is empty in comparison to the crowds he’s used to seeing around his apartment. The people who are out now look as if they are heading into work or to class, bustling their way down the sidewalk, eyes trained right ahead. They pay no attention to Jinyoung.

 

Finding a clothing store is easy enough. Despite the lack of people up around this time of day, shops line the entirety of the block - everything that you can imagine, from fast food all the way to the highest end of clothing brands, all tightly packed next to each other, doors open and inviting anyone and everyone inside.

 

Jinyoung settles for one of the less expensive clothing stores. There is more than enough to choose from in terms of outfits, and by the time that Jinyoung walks out of there, he feels more at ease than he had that morning. The bags in his hand serve as an important reminder that another problem has been solved, and that’s enough for Jinyoung to allow himself to relax, even if all of this may just be a temporary solution.

 

Rather than continue to carry the bags of clothing around all day, it seems to be the best decision to head back to the hotel and drop them off in his room. Although the clothes don’t weight much, the bags would just be a hassle to have to carry with him, due to their size.

 

His eyes are downcast, watching his feet on the pavement. He hasn’t been here long, but he already seems to memorize the way to the hotel without even trying. With his attention on the ground however, Jinyoung misses it when someone accidentally bumps into him.

 

It isn’t a full collision - there is no cliché fall, no stumbling or dropping of any items, but it does make Jinyoung recoil just a bit. He looks up, ready to bow and make his apology, but is caught off guard once more when he sees a semi-familiar face.

 

It takes a minute to process, but eventually, it occurs to him where he’s seen the other man before - it was the same person from the night before, whom Jinyoung had (although accidentally) acted rudely towards. It seems that from the mirrored expression on the stranger’s face that he recognizes Jinyoung, too.

 

“Excuse me, I wasn’t watching where I was going,” Jinyoung says with a gentle smile. “And I’m sorry about the way I acted last night. I think I was just tired.”

 

The other, looks surprised for a moment, as if he hadn’t expected Jinyoung to bring up their previous encounter, but after a moment, manages to give a small smile of his own, albeit a bit awkward. “It’s alright. It wasn’t my business to ask, anyways,” the man replies. “How are you liking the room?”

 

Jinyoung nods his head, smile widening just a bit. “It’s good. I think that was the best night’s sleep that I’ve had in awhile.” In truth, it probably was the most sleep he’s gotten in months. With everything that has gone on, Jinyoung has had little chance to seek out sweet unconsciousness.

 

“That’s good to hear,” the other beams. Any awkwardness that might have been lingering in the other’s face disappears now. As Jinyoung watches the man’s expression change, for the first time he really notices the other’s features. He’s not quite as tall as Jinyoung, but he’s lean and handsome. His blonde hair somehow frames his face like a halo in the light, and his delicate features somehow seem… ethereal. If it weren’t for the moment, Jinyoung would chastise himself for thinking such sappy thoughts. It wasn’t like him to get overly sentimental about simple things like looks, but somehow, the other was entrancing.

 

The man’s voice springs Jinyoung out of his reverie, speaking up once more. “It’d be a shame if you didn’t like the room, considering that I am the owner after all,” a nervous hand reaches up to rub at the back of his neck, twirling the blonde strands between his fingers.

 

It was time for Jinyoung to be shocked. He hadn’t expected the person in front of him to be the owner of the hotel - he was young, probably around Jinyoung’s age, if not a bit older. Why would he be the owner? Realizing that he’s gotten tangled up in his own thoughts again, Jinyoung bows his head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize,” he begins, but stops when he hears the other chuckle.

 

“It’s not your fault,” the man says with an eased smile. “Most people don’t expect it to be me. I look more like a visitor than anything. But, now that you know… if you need anything, just come look for me in the room you saw me come out of.”

 

Jinyoung remains still for a minute or so, taking in the other’s words, before giving into the infectious smile of the other, mirroring the expression on his own face. “I will. Thank you,” he replies. Eyes downcast, he suddenly remembers the bags in his hand and his plan for the rest of the day. Lifting one arm, he gestures the bag to the other. “I should probably get these back to my room before I forget them out here on the street. It’s been a pleasure…” Jinyoung’s voice trails off, figuring out that he doesn’t even know the name of his host.

 

“Mark,” the man immediately answers.

 

Unable to stretch out a hand, Jinyoung just holds onto the bags tighter and gives a polite nod of his head. “I’m Jinyoung.”

 

“Have a great day then, Jinyoung. I’ll see you around?” The other - Mark, he reminds himself - asks shyly, biting on his bottom lip.

 

A grin tries to force it’s way onto his features, Jinyoung only just able to hold it in, but not without a bit of the happiness slipping through. “Yeah, I’m sure I’ll see you around, Mark. Have a good day.”

 

With one last glance at the other, Mark begins to walk away with the wave of his hand. Jinyoung continues to head in the direction of the hotel, but not without a stolen glance over his shoulder at Mark’s receding figure.

 

-

 

A few days pass before he runs into Mark again.

 

Most of the time, he’s spent trying to get whatever is left of his life in order. Jinyoung has already arranged the new clothes he bought for himself neatly into the drawers of the bedroom, and has even managed to brave turning on his phone a second time. The notifications don’t get any easier to look at, but, Jinyoung figures that will get better with some distance.

 

There’s also the situation about money that he’s had to deal with. There’s no doubt that Jaebum has gotten practically the entire police force out looking for him right now, and, not wanting to be be found just yet, Jinyoung has been avoiding the use of any of his cards. It’s not right for him to be avoiding what he left behind like this, but the thought of facing it right now is too overwhelming. Which means that he has to use cash for almost everything. Jinyoung figures he has enough for a few more days until either he’ll have to head back to his apartment and grab some of the notes he has stashed around, or he’ll have to give up his hiding spot. Neither seem very tempting.

 

Jinyoung is dressed in some of the new clothes he bought a few days ago when he exits his room. It’s fairly early in the morning, and while Jinyoung is still trying to get used to a new environment, figures that he might as well go out and find something to eat, lest he starve in his room in fear of being found by his ex-fiancé.

 

At that same moment, Mark happens to be exiting a room too - it’s not the one Jinyoung had seen him leave before, but instead one that probably belongs to a hotel patron. A bundle of fabric is draped in his arms, and keys jingle in his hands as, Jinyoung assumes, he locks the door behind him.

 

Mark turns around to meet Jinyoung’s gaze, and eases into a playful smirk. “Somehow, we keep meeting by accident,” he comments.

 

Jinyoung easily returns the banter with a laugh. “Seems that way,” Jinyoung finds that Mark’s presence, although very new in his routine, is a welcomed one. Due to his predicament, it wasn’t like he had anyone else to really talk to. Mark seemed nice, and that meant something to Jinyoung right now. “I’m guessing you’re doing the rounds?” Jinyoung vaguely gestures to the pile in Mark’s arms.

 

He replies with a quiet nod. Mark shifts the sheets slightly, repositioning them so that he can turn and look at Jinyoung properly. “Any plans for today?”

 

The question makes Jinyoung’s mood sour just a bit. He didn’t really have any plans, besides making sure he didn’t forget to eat. It was difficult when you didn’t know anything around the area. “Not really sure what I can do. There’s more here than I realized at first. I guess I just planned to try and get out to clear my head.”

 

The other hums in acknowledgment. Mark’s gaze shifts down toward the ground in what Jinyoung can only seem to think of as embarrassment. “I could show you around, if you want,” he murmurs with a soft blush on his cheeks.

 

The questions seem to come out of the blue, but the longer it hangs in the air, the better it begins to sound. Jinyoung is sure that the other probably knows this place like the back of his hand, having been in the area for so long after all. “I’d like that a lot,” Jinyoung finally replies.

 

Mark’s shyness slips away once more, and he beams. “Unfortunately, I can’t do it today, but what about tomorrow? Is that okay, Jinyoung?”

 

Hearing his name come out of the other’s mouth seems… strange. Not necessarily in a bad way, but the way that it rolls off Mark’s tongue still seems foreign to him. His chest seems to constrict at the sound, confusing Jinyoung to no end, to which he promptly ignores it, bearing through it with a smile. “That’s fine. I’m a fairly early riser, so whenever you want to head out, you know where to find me.”

 

“I look forward to it then,” Mark smiles once more.

 

Jinyoung can’t help the smile that reaches his cheeks. “Me too, Mark.”

 

-

 

That night, Jinyoung swears, is one of the longest nights of his entire life.

 

After having gone out all day, attempting to find his way around the area, Jinyoung had promptly given up and retreated to his room. He had barely been in the room for about two minutes before he even realized what was happening.

 

Suddenly, he was standing back in the changing room at the wedding venue. He was dressed in his suit, which looked duller than he remembered it being, and the room had changed - instead of the window he had escaped from, bars had replaced its position on the wall, and the mirror in front of him was distorted, almost like a funhouse mirror that you would see at a fair.

 

Jinyoung frantically searches the room for a means of escape, and immediately rushes to the door. As he pulls and turns the doorknob, he realizes that it’s locked, possibly from the outside. There was no escaping this room.

 

Shouts start ripping from his mouth, and one of his hands begin to bang on the door, hoping to get the attention of someone on the other side. He screams for help until his vocal chords begin to sting and his hand turns red from the impact.

 

He closes his eyes, tries to will away the thought of just being stuck here again, when he hears a sound coming from behind him. Jinyoung’s eyes open slowly, listening once more for the sound.

 

It’s a distant voice, like someone is calling him from down the street, and grows in volume with every passing second. The closer that voice gets, the more he recognizes that voice, that unmistakable voice.

 

Jinyoung whips around to find he’s no longer in the changing room, but this time in a long, dark hallway. A figure steps towards him from the other end, just barely a shadow, but Jinyoung already knows who it is. He stands petrified with fear, leaning all his weight against the door behind him, trying to push himself as far as possible from the figure coming closer and closer.

 

The figure, Jinyoung realizes, isn’t just a figure. More voices begin to chorus with the originating one - close friends, coworkers, family members - all of them calling out his name and creeping ever so close to him, despite the distant sound.

 

Their faces become distinct. His mother looks like she’s been crying, her eyes puffy and red, probably heartbroken from his decisions; Jackson looks furious, eyes filled with rage and unbridled disgust; every person Jinyoung has ever seen or known, stares into him with intense hatred and shame. He is defenseless against their judging gazes, and too guilty to look away from them. Jinyoung feels lost, betrayed by his own decisions, and hurt by the suffering he’s caused.

 

The worst of all is Jaebum. The minute Jinyoung’s eyes land on him, the rest of the group fades away. His eyes are not that of disgust, but one of complete sadness. He isn’t furious like Jackson is either, but there is a feeling of anger radiating from him. He looks…broken, more vulnerable than Jinyoung has ever seen him.

 

Jaebum says nothing, just looks at him with sad eyes and a broken spirit, and, slowly, begins to turn away from Jinyoung.

 

“No,” Jinyoung hears himself whisper, watching as his best friend refuses to look at him, refuses to speak to him. “No!”

 

His voice grows, and Jinyoung desperately reaches out for the other, but Jaebum is just too far away. He no longer faces the other, and something inside of Jinyoung breaks, and all that's left is black.

 

Jinyoung jolts up in bed, chest heaving and skin glistening with sweat. The slightest signs of morning are just beginning to seep in through the curtains from his window, meaning that he had managed to at least get through the night.

 

It was a nightmare. A horrible, awful dream, but a dream nonetheless. Jinyoung couldn’t possibly help the sigh of relief that escapes him. He leans back down on the mattress, his back hitting it softly. Jinyoung’s heart pounds in his chest, and although he knows now that it was a dream, there wasn’t any possible way he was going to get back to sleep now.

 

He lays there, staring up at the ceiling for god only knows how long - it seems like hours go by before he removes himself from the bed. He sits at the edge of the mattress, taking in his surroundings, orientating himself. This hotel room somehow feels more like home than Jinyoung thinks it should.

 

Eventually, he decides that it’s probably better if he makes himself useful - getting ready would not only take his attention off of the dream, but by the time Mark would come around, Jinyoung at least would already be ready to leave.

 

As if predicted, the moment that he’s completely dressed, a soft knock, polite and simultaneously loud enough to grab Jinyoung’s mind, beckoning to him to open the door. It wasn’t hard to guess who was on the other side. Today’s activities would be a warm welcome in comparison to the night he had had.

 

Mark is on the other side of said door, carrying two piping hot cups of coffee. The smell immediately takes over the room; it’s an incredible smell, one Jinyoung has suddenly found he missed very much, having been without a cup for the past few days. He swears a groan leaves his mouth at the wonderful smell, and his mouth automatically waters. If Mark notices either of these things at all, he doesn’t say anything.

 

“You’re a lifesaver,” Jinyoung drawls playfully. Sleep still hangs heavy on his words, but, as Mark gently hands him the warm paper container, he figures that any semblance of sleep left after he drinks this will vanish without a trace.

 

Mark laughs lightly, amused at the somehow serene expression on Jinyoung’s face the moment he takes his first sip. It’s not completely black, a sweet taste following the bitter, which is completely okay in the moment. Even just the thought that Mark had made this effort was enough for Jinyoung to forget how he normally took his coffee in the morning and just enjoy the beverage in his hands. To the other, Jinyoung could assume he looked positively comical.

 

“I didn’t know how you like it,” Mark breathes, laugh still light on his lips. His eyes are watching the cup in his own hands, which gently swirl the dark liquid. “But I’m glad that you like it either way.” If Jinyoung had known Mark better, he probably would have thought that the look on his face was fondness, but right now, he could only assume that he was silently laughing at him. Jinyoung knows he would.

 

The coffee does the trick - Jinyoung feels completely awake and ready to face the day. No nightmare could get in his way, thank you very much. “It’s great,” he says finally, giving the other a bright smile, one that reaches all the way up to his eyes. “Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

 

Mark just smiles at the comment. “No problem,” he responds quietly. “We should probably get started with the tour, though. We have plenty to do today.”

 

Jinyoung nods, collects his items, and with cups in their hands, the two exit the room.

 

-

 

This early in the morning, as Jinyoung had found out previously, the street wasn’t very busy. It was a quiet street, much more so than the ones surrounding the apartment Jaebum and him had shared downtown, and much like they had been before, shop doors were propped open, inviting in the unlikely visitor, no matter what the hour. There were only a few people out now, walking along the sidewalk, minding their own business, heads held straight and eyes ahead. They paid no attention to the duo.

 

It was easy enough for Mark to show him around. There were more than enough places to eat (made noticed only because of Mark - Jinyoung swears that he had passed more than a few of them while searching one day) and plenty to do in town. Everything that wasn’t located on the street was either right next to it, or close enough that you could easily walk to it if you needed to.

 

Although it wasn’t busy, the street somehow was still lively. Jinyoung couldn’t help the feeling that every person he passed by would greet him with a smile on their face and, if he saw them enough, maybe even address him by name. The thought it somehow comforting to him; where he is used to busy streets filled with people who barely want to look at you, let alone speak to you, this was the complete opposite. It shows in the way that Mark greets the people he recognizes, and they greet him in return with good bidding.

 

The street is also deceptively small, Jinyoung realizes. Due to the lack of skyscrapers in this area, the street seems more open than those of downtown. When he had first arrived, this had made it seem much smaller than it actually was, when in reality, it was just as long and winding as any street in Seoul.

 

The time passes by quickly. Mark points out things that Jinyoung might like, pointing with a slender hand in the general direction of wherever he’s talking about, and Jinyoung does his best to keep up. Mark is kind, even more so than Jinyoung realized at first. They’ve passed more people than Jinyoung can remember, and Mark says hello to every single one of them; he pets a stray cat that crosses their path (Jinyoung can’t resist the urge to do so either); Mark even constantly checks on Jinyoung, just to make sure that he’s okay and comfortable.

 

The kindness, although not foreign, is unexpected. Jinyoung has lived in probably some of the roughest parts of the city, where the streets are filled to the brim with business men, women, and schoolchildren. Jaebum and him had grown accustomed to the sound of cars revving in the streets at night, and the light from lamp posts streaming in through their window at even the latest of hours. Jinyoung isn’t used to being asked if he’s okay with what’s going on - no one has ever really thought to ask him. He answers every time with a smile and a nod, and that’s that.

 

They talk along the way too. It’s not really about anything specific, just friendly banter and quiet small talk. There are often moments of silence between them, but they’re not uncomfortable in the slightest. Jinyoung learns quickly that this is typical when spending time with Mark, and it makes sense. He’s a quiet person, and even in the silence, whatever he isn’t saying is loud and clear. Jinyoung appreciates it.

 

Later in the day, when they’ve traversed the street long enough that Jinyoung has finally managed to gather his bearings, and their stomachs start to grumble at them, Mark guides them into a cafe. It’s not at all far from where the hotel is - Jinyoung is pretty sure that he remembers passing by this one - and Mark insists that it’s one of the best on the street.

 

The smell when they walk in is incredible, and Jinyoung’s expression morphs into something akin to the expression he wore earlier that same day. The scent of baked pastries fills his senses, and envelopes him. Said pastries are on display now, lit under bright yellow lights, making them look warm and inviting. It’s busier now, staff moving back and forth behind the counter as they prepare people’s orders, and customers sitting down at tables, idly chatting or browsing on their phones.

 

Jinyoung is still looking around as he mindlessly follows Mark to the counter. A girl, about their age, smiles at them. Judging by Mark’s mirrored expression, Jinyoung assumes that the two of them know each other.

 

“Hey, Mark,” the girl begins. “Do you want the usual today?” He cheery demeanor is infectious, Jinyoung smiling along with her. His eyes glance up to the menu, and due to this, misses the small look she spares him, eyes slyly moving back and forth from Mark to Jinyoung, followed by the small blush appearing subtly on Mark’s cheeks.

 

He nods silently, and the girl presses some of the keys on the register. The menu is big, bigger than Jinyoung had anticipated, and when her attention is drawn onto him, he’s not sure what to get. He opens his mouth to say something, only to close it again upon realizing that he doesn’t actually know what to say.

 

Mark swoops in somehow and manages to salvage the day, despite Jinyoung gawking like a fish. “Do you like Iced Americano’s?” He quietly asks. Even with just a simple question, Mark seems to be able to ground him. Jinyoung nods silently. Mark just gives the girl a nod.

 

The girl’s smile never falters as she inputs the order into to the register. Mark, before Jinyoung can even think about paying for the order (and, really, repaying Mark for all of his trouble today), pulls out his wallet and gives the cash to the girl. Like clockwork, she gives him the change, and the receipt.

 

“Thanks again, Jae-eun,” Mark says, and moves away from the register. Before Jinyoung can follow, the girl begins to speak again.

 

“I’ve never seen Mark come in here with someone before,” Jae-eun says, smile now directed at Jinyoung. “You must be really something if he brought you here.”

 

Jinyoung means to protest, even opens his mouth to try and say something, but nothing comes out. The other just holds up her hand, as if trying to stop any form of dismissal that he might make. “Trust me, you must be special,” she emphasizes. “Besides, you two are cute together!”

 

Jae-eun’s smile grows at her comment. Jinyoung thinks he should be shocked at the comment - he barely knows Mark, besides the few conversations that they’ve had in the past few days - but, for some reason, only acceptance washes over him. Instead of feeling like a deer in the headlights, Jinyoung only feels embarrassment. His voice won’t work the way he wants it too, and with a blush dusting his cheeks, he smiles, and gives her a nod in acknowledgement. Jae-eun, despite his rudeness, seems to get the picture and shoos him on his way.

 

The more he thinks about her assumption the more confused Jinyoung becomes. Why had he just accepted her statement? Why hadn’t he made any effort at all to correct her? And why had he, instead, walked away blushing his biggest secret had gotten out?

 

Mark is waiting at the other end of the counter for their order. Jinyoung can see him from where he stands in limbo between there and the register, and he slowly makes his way over to him.

 

Instantly, he is greeted by a small, warm smile. “I hope Jae-eun didn’t scare you too much,” Mark teases. “She tends to try and get into everyone’s business.”

 

Jinyoung, somehow, manages a chuckle, his hand coming up to cover his mouth as he does. “She didn’t scare me too much,” he assures the other. It doesn’t come out as relaxed and natural as he had hoped it would, her comment still weighing heavily on his mind.

 

Mark seems to take notice of the sudden change in Jinyoung’s demeanor, but remains quiet about it. Their order comes up - through the haze that is forming in his mind, Jinyoung can hear their number being called, and vaguely notices Mark picking it up for them.

 

His feet are on autopilot, following Mark to a table where they can sit. Jinyoung tries to pay attention to Mark, he really does, but suddenly everything feels too overwhelming.

 

The comment. If only she hadn’t assumed, if only she hadn’t said anything, Jinyoung would be perfectly fine. Now, instead, he’s questioning everything. Had he really given her any reason to think that? For all Jinyoung knows, she was just teasing him. He didn’t know Mark and Mark didn’t know him. It was silly to even presume that she knew what type of relationship they had.

 

Things were still so fresh - running away from his own wedding, leaving his best friend behind on that altar, probably breaking the hearts of every single person in that room was all still so fresh in his memory. It was too much to even try and think about.

 

“Are you alright?” Mark asks, voice laced with quiet concern.

 

And Mark.

 

Kind Mark who, in the span of a day, could see when Jinyoung was at his wits end. Kind, wonderful Mark who has been the only company Jinyoung has had in days, and good company at that. Kind, wonderful, incredible Mark who is now showing concern for someone he barely knows and doing his best to help him even so. Jinyoung’s head swims with confusion and doubt over his own motivations and feelings. It was just too soon, everything was too soon-

 

A warm hand rests on his shoulder, springing Jinyoung back into the present. Dark eyes peer at him with concern and worry. “Jinyoung, are you alright?” Mark prompts again, this time louder than before.

 

Slowly, Jinyoung nods his head. He can feel himself shutting down with all of the emotional stimulus around him. Mark is the only thing that he can focus on right now.

 

The other pulls him up out of his chair and wraps a supportive arm around his waist. Jinyoung, other than feeling a bit dizzy, manages to stand, although the comforting hand secured on his hip sets him a little more at ease. The world stops spinning for a second, and somehow, they’re able to leave the shop and walk to the hotel.

 

It really is a good thing that the hotel isn’t far at all, just a few blocks straight down the sidewalk. Mark doesn’t need to prop Jinyoung up, but he does anyway, and somehow Jinyoung is thankful for it all the same. It’s enough that there is someone that he can depend on besides himself, here in a place he doesn’t know, away from all his friends and family.

 

When they reach his room, Jinyoung immediately feels like passing out, sleeping for a hundred years and then some. All of the energy that he had during the day was gone now, replaced with guilt, shame, and exhaustion.

 

Mark leans down to help Jinyoung sit on the bed, finally retracting his arm as he takes a step back (the lack of warmth from the other leaves Jinyoung ice cold).

 

“I’m sorry,” Jinyoung manages to mumble to Mark. It’s an inadequate apology, but Jinyoung can’t muster anything else right now.

 

Mark shakes his head, giving the other one of his small smiles (still laced with concern, he might add). “It’s okay, Jinyoung. Really, it’s-”

 

Jinyoung doesn’t allow the other to finish. “It’s not. But I am sorry,” he insists. Mark’s smile disappears, but he seems to accept the apology all the same.

 

An uncomfortable silence falls between them, the first one since Jinyoung has met the other. He doesn’t like it. Not one bit. Every time he tries to fix it, however, Jinyoung can’t seem to find the words to fill the space.

 

After a few minutes, Mark starts to make his leave. Before he can, though, Jinyoung reaches out and grabs the other’s wrist.

 

They stare at each other for a good few moments, both eyes wide in surprise. Jinyoung hadn’t really meant to stop him, but he somehow found comfort in the other’s presence. Mark must think he was crazy, the way he’s been acting the past few times that they’ve seen each other. He desperately hopes that doesn’t mean pushing the other away.

 

“I’ll see you around?” the words fall off his lips, sounds more hopeful than anything. Mark’s eyes, if they could, grew wider. He hadn’t expected that, it seems. Maybe he felt guilty for the way Jinyoung was acting, which couldn’t be more wrong.

 

Mark relaxes once more, looking less tense than he had. The worry was still evident in the pull of his eyebrows, but Jinyoung could tell that he felt relieved in some way. “Yeah, I’d like that Jinyoung,” he all but whispers.

 

Jinyoung smiles.

 

-

 

The phone feels heavy in his hand, almost mocking in the way the screen lights up every so often. Jinyoung has half a mind to throw it into the trash and buy a new one, with a number no one knew. The other half wanted to respond to every single message he’s received since he left.

 

There are more voicemails and texts than before, more unread messages that Jinyoung has no idea how to answer. It still doesn’t surprise him that the bulk of them are from Jaebum, but as the number grew exponentially each time he glanced at the screen, the less he wanted to do this.

 

It had been long enough.

 

It had been long enough that he couldn’t not contact someone, anyone, letting them know that he was alive and not lying in a ditch somewhere out in the countryside. It had been long enough that Jinyoung cowered behind a screen, all because he didn’t want to face his problems.

 

His instinctual choice was to call his mom - she’d probably be both relieved and furious to hear from him after so long. Jinyoung wasn’t sure he could face that, though. Not after the nightmare. So that option was a no go.

 

He could contact Jaebum, but that would also mean starting a manhunt. Jaebum would not stop until Jinyoung was in front of him, looking alive and well and ready to get married again. He couldn’t handle that either. Strike two.

 

The only other option was to contact Jackson.

 

Jackson and he have been friends for a long time. Besides Jaebum, he was the only other person that he’d really call his best friend. He’d trust the man with his life if it really depended on it (which, in this situation, seemed to apply).

 

The phone rang once, twice, three times, before Jackson picks up. His voice thunders through the phone, Jinyoung’s name on his tongue in both relief and frustration.

 

“What were you thinking, man?!” came Jackson’s booming voice. Jinyoung has to move the phone away from his ear, already feeling the ringing in his ears. He couldn’t blame Jackson for his reaction, but he was hoping it wouldn’t be so…loud. “It’s been days, and only now you call? Where the hell have you been?”

 

Jinyoung sighs into the receiver. It’s nice to hear Jackson’s voice. He’s missed his friend more than he would admit, but right now, it was just frustrating. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes. It’s as sincere as Jinyoung can muster; he doesn’t really feel sorry for leaving, but he does feel sorry for all the trouble caused in its wake.

 

“Did you even think about what you were doing?” Jackson shouts. Jinyoung winces. “At least contact someone about where you’re going!”

 

“That’s my line,” Jinyoung teases from his end. It earns a small laugh from Jackson, but the intensity of his friend over the phone doesn’t dissipate.

 

He can hear Jackson give a sigh of his own this time. Now that the fury was gone, all that was left was relief. Jinyoung could relate to the feeling well. The minute he was in that taxi, pulling away from the venue, he had felt the same way. Pure, unadulterated relief. “Can you at least tell me what’s going on? Everyone is worried sick about you.”

 

Biting his bottom lip, Jinyoung hesitates. He had known that that was coming, had fully expected it the minute he even decided to call Jackson. It still manages to catch him off guard though, no matter how much he anticipated it. What was there to say except for the truth?

 

So that’s what Jinyoung did. For the first time since it happened, Jinyoung spilled everything - the things he had been going through before the wedding, the unhappiness, the fear, everything. Jackson, for once, was quiet. He listened to every word that came out of Jinyoung’s mouth without so much of a peep from him. The only reason Jinyoung knew he was still on the other side of the line was from his breathing, which could just barely be made out.

 

He told Jackson why he had run, but didn’t tell him where. Jinyoung, as much as he was dying to see the other, couldn’t risk it. Jackson tended to have a big mouth, and giving away that information was giving away the only safety net Jinyoung could rely on right now. Yes, he trusted Jackson with his whole being, but he still knew what he was like. He could keep his mouth shut about most things, but with a situation as big as this, Jinyoung was certain something would slip.

 

When he’s finished, the line remains silent for a second, as if Jackson had taken everything in. To be fair, it was a lot of information to process. There was still a lot left unsaid, but Jinyoung didn’t know what to say about some of these things. How do you tell someone that you trust that they can’t know where you are?

 

After a long silence, Jackson speaks up. His voice is calmer, but still like Jackson. “I had no idea you were going through all of that, man,” Jackson responds. “I don’t know what I can do to help you, but if you need anything, you know where to find me.”

 

Jinyoung smiles, feeling relieved himself. “Thank you, Jackson,” he says.

 

“Hey,” Jackson begins, and even over the phone, Jinyoung can tell that he’s smiling. “Next time you disappear, tell me okay? At least let me be your partner in crime.”

 

A laugh bubbles out of Jinyoung, a hand automatically coming up to cover his mouth, muffling the sound just a time bit. “Next time, I promise,” he assures Jackson playfully. Jackson begins to laugh with him.

 

When their giggles die down, Jinyoung expression softens, a gentle smile on his face. “Hey Jackson?” The other gives a small sound of acknowledgment that he’s heard the other. “Can you tell my family that I’m okay? I… I can’t face them right now.”

 

Jackson gives another grunt. “Yeah, of course,” he replies easily. “...does that include Jaebum?”

 

The thought hadn’t even occurred to Jinyoung - well, telling his ex-fiance that he was alright did cross his mind, but he hadn’t felt ready for that. With Jackson as his messenger (sorry Jackson, he would think later after the conversation. What a coward he was, sending other people off to deal with his problems), there was nothing from stopping him from letting everyone know that he was safe. Which did include Jaebum.

“Yeah,” he says, voice cracking. “Just…I don’t want to be contacted by anyone else right now.”

 

A beat of silence. “Alright,” Jackson agrees. “No contact except for the love of your life: me. Got it.”

 

They both laugh again. Jinyoung feels lighter. He’s no longer carrying the entirety of the burden anymore, the guilt no longer bottled up inside of him. It’s liberating to laugh with Jackson like this. “In your dreams,” he replies with a chuckle. “I’ll talk to you later.”

 

Jackson gives an amused “See you,” and hangs up the phone.

 

-

 

Despite what he told Jackson (it’s probably not Jackson’s fault, he reasons), Jinyoung has had a few calls from his parents and Jaebum, but aside from those few, his phone has stopped blowing up. No more frantic texts, no more hysterical phone calls. Just a few messages from his mother and a few from Jaebum, who are probably just checking in to make sure that he’s okay. He manages even listen to the one his mom left, who sounds comforted, but somber. Her voice soothes Jinyoung’s soul. Jaebum’s, however, remains untouched. Not yet.

 

He doesn’t want to go anywhere in particular, but the room seems too small for the moment. Jinyoung is leaning against the outside of his door, eyes closed, just taking a few deep breaths and composing himself. What he wouldn’t give for some fresh air right now, but this would do for now.

 

Jinyoung opens his eyes gently. The light from the hallway is dim, however it still stings his eyes. He feels like he’s been cooped up in that room for days now. He might as well have been.

 

Mark’s door just down the hall may be closed, but still there is light seeping out from underneath of it.  Jinyoung was certain the other is in there right now, and yet no sound comes from the other side. He’s more than tempted to knock on the door and seek out the company, but would Mark think that was weird? Especially with their last encounter, the thought seemed completely out of the question.

 

He knocks on the other’s door anyway. There is the sound of shuffling from the other side, as if Jinyoung had interrupted the other from something. A pang of guilt runs through his heart, but immediately disappears when Mark opens the door.

 

“Oh, Jinyoung,” he says quietly, smile beginning to form on his delicate features. “What- uh, what can I do for you?”

 

That was certainly the question: what could Mark do for him? Jinyoung contemplates this for a second, why he came to find Mark in the first place. The answer, however, was obvious: he was good company. There was a quality to Mark that, even if you had just met him, he didn’t feel like a stranger. He might be quiet, but it’s because he considers his words carefully. Mark isn’t the type of person to listen just to respond. He’s the type of person to listen to someone, really listen, think about what he’s heard, and then speak.

 

For some reason or another, Mark felt more like a close friend than he did someone Jinyoung met only a few days ago. He felt… comfortable around him. It was terrifying.

 

“Any chance you’d be up for hanging out with me?” Jinyoung asks tentatively. “I understand if you’re busy, it’s no problem if you are.” He tacks that on for good measure.

 

Mark doesn’t hesitate before his smile breaks out into a grin. “Yeah,” he says. “I’d like that. Give me just a second.”

 

The other disappears behind the door. It’s propped open slightly, but not enough for Jinyoung’s curiosity to be satisfied. He’s wondered a few times what the other’s room would look like, if it was any different than the other rooms, more personal even. If he could only just see inside a bit more....

 

The door swings open more, Jinyoung getting just the briefest of glances - is that a suitcase? - before Mark appears in the doorway again.

 

“Alright,” Mark says. “Where do you want to go?”

 

“Somewhere quiet,” falls out of Jinyoung’s mouth before he even realizes it. He makes no effort to cover up the slip, despite himself. Maybe that's a bit too much, Jinyoung thinks belatedly, especially since-

 

Mark just smiles and nods again, like he always does. He reaches over and grabs Jinyoung’s hand. It’s soft and just as warm as he remembers. It’s familiarity comforts Jinyoung, and he makes no effort to let go of the other. “I know just the place.”

 

The roof of the building was no compensation for the balcony in the apartment him and Jaebum had shared downtown, but the view was just as beautiful, if not more so. It wasn’t a very tall building, but what you could see from the roof was breathtaking. The city lights shined brightly, illuminating the streets below. The haziness of the city makes it harder to see the stars, but some still shine brightly overhead. This was a view he knew all too well. Just another constant in the craziness that Jinyoung’s life had turned into.

 

Jinyoung takes in a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill his lungs.

 

Mark is already leaning over the edge of the building, staring out into the bright night. A halo of light surrounds him. The sight catches Jinyoung off guard, breath hitching in his throat. Why did that just happen?

 

The other looks over his shoulder, silently beckoning Jinyoung over to join him.

 

He takes his spot next to Mark. The lights shine even brighter from here - they’re almost blinding in their intensity, but in the same way that a christmas tree is blinding. The only sounds from the streets below are muffled murmurs from the pedestrians and the soft hum of cars driving along the pavement.

 

The comfortable silence that Jinyoung is used to with Mark begins to settle once more. He finds that it’s something he’s come to appreciate. When everything else is so loud, deafening even, Mark is quiet and gentle.

 

Mark is the one who breaks the silence eventually. He’s looking directly at Jinyoung, the expression he wears a mix between curiosity and concern. He says nothing, but Jinyoung knows the look behind that stare; Mark wants to know if he’s okay, without trying to pry.

 

Something pulls inside Jinyoung’s chest, something urges him to tell the other. And so, he does.

 

“The first day I came here, you asked me why I was dressed up the way that I was,” he sighs, turning to face the city. “I had just come from what was supposed to be my wedding. It wasn’t- I didn’t plan for it to happen, but suddenly I knew that I had to leave. I couldn’t get married.”

 

Jinyoung’s arms rest on the ledge, eyes cast downward at them, avoiding the other’s stare. “So, I just left. I picked up anything I thought I might need and snuck out of the window,” he continues. “The guy I was supposed to marry… I’ve known him for a long time. He’s a great guy. Kind, funny, talented. Practically everything I could ever want. But I didn’t want to marry him.”

 

From the peripheral of his vision, Jinyoung can see Mark still looking at him curiously. The worry is stronger on his face now, but he makes no move to speak.

 

“I wish I could tell you what was wrong with the relationship, but I can’t. There was just something...something missing. And when I climbed out of that window, for the first time in a long time, it felt like I could breathe again.”

 

A tension settles over them the minute Jinyoung finishes speaking. He refuses to meet Mark’s eyes, still trained on him thoughtfully, thumbs idly circling one another in a desperate attempt to ignore his trepidation.

 

“You’ve probably been unhappy for a long time, Jinyoung,” Mark says. Jinyoung’s head jerks up to finally look at Mark. He seems to be considering his words very carefully. “But you just didn’t realize how- how big it really was until you left. If you were really that unhappy, then maybe it wasn’t meant to be.”

 

Mark is a man of few words, but the honesty of the ones he does say is clear.

 

Jinyoung gives a bittersweet smile. “It never seemed complete,” he begins. “The relationship, I mean. Like I couldn’t fully commit to it.”

 

The other nods in quiet understanding. “You wanted it, but it wasn’t something you wanted in the long run,” Mark reasons. “There’s nothing wrong with that, but eventually you’ll have to be able to tell him all of this.”

 

Shame and guilt once more wash over him. Jinyoung knows that Mark is right. He can’t run from this situation forever, no matter how much he’d like to pretend it didn’t exist. Life still went on, even when you wanted time to stand still. Jaebum had the right to know everything, know why it happened, know that it wasn’t his fault.

 

“The stars are beautiful tonight,” Jinyoung says, avoiding the feelings beginning to bubble up in his chest. He could deal with it later.

 

“Yeah, they are,” comes Mark’s reply.

 

If Jinyoung had been paying attention, he would have noticed that the other’s attention wasn’t focused on the sky.

 

-

 

The next few days go like this:

 

Jinyoung wakes up and immediately checks his phone. Thanks to Jackson (Jinyoung swears that the minute he comes back, he’ll treat Jackson to dinner as a thank you for everything he’s doing), there are no more calls or messages from hysterical parents or ex-fiancés. Just the occasional update from work and Jackson checking in on him.

 

At any other time, Jinyoung would most likely go out in search of Mark for some company and something to do. Normally, he’d be working early hours, as Jinyoung has seen him do over the past while, and yet was nowhere to be found. According to the receptionist downstairs (and he’s asked, multiple times), Mark is out of town. Jinyoung, very suddenly, feels lonely. The one friend he had made here was gone, temporarily anyways, but still gone.

 

He’ll spend most of his time out, trying to dull the overwhelming boredom that he faces without anyone around to spend time with. Jinyoung certainly likes his alone time as much as anyone. After a while, however, it was harder to get over the sinking loneliness.

 

It’s the third day since Mark has been gone - not like Jinyoung is keeping count, of course not, why would he be keeping count? - when he decides that it’s time to take a step forward in another direction. He’s running out of clothes to wear, and as convenient as the stores are, there is only so much money he’s willing to spend on it (let alone how little money he has left on him). If he really wants to be comfortable, Jinyoung knows that he’s going to have to venture back into the city.

 

The taxi ride is uneventful, despite the butterflies in his stomach. Jinyoung is dressed casually, all dark clothing, and a surgical mask over his face. Its inconspicuous enough that even if Jaebum happened to be anywhere near the apartment (which Jinyoung really hoped wasn’t the case), then he had a chance to sneak by unseen. The last thing he wants is to be thrown into more drama by appearing at their apartment unannounced.

 

The trip doesn't take long - Seoul might be a big city, but it was still just a city after all. The high-rise building ascends into the sky, the top of the large structure disappearing into the blue sky. nothing has changed since Jinyoung last saw it.

 

Their apartment, on the other hand, is.

 

Jaebum (thankfully) isn’t anywhere to be found inside of the apartment, but the minute he steps into it, Jinyoung knows exactly what has been going on in Jaebum’s head.

 

The place is a mess - objects and clothes are scattered across the floor and surfaces, takeout food containers are piled in large piles, and other extraneous items completely cover every other spot. It's almost as if a hurricane passed through, sweeping everything that they both off their proper positions. In reality, Jinyoung knows that the source of the chaos is his ex-fiancé.

 

The guilt starts to seep back in. It’s impossible to believe that he wasn't going to feel some sort of shame walking back into here after being away, after the decisions he’s made…

 

Their bedroom is even worse. The sheets have all slumped to the floor and all their drawers have been completely opened, as if frantically searching for something. Maybe the bulk of the mess occurred the day Jinyoung left. That would make the most sense.

 

It’s easy enough to find clothes. As much as things have been thrown around haphazardly, most of his own stuff is still in place. Even a duffle bag that Jinyoung used for business is still in the place where he last left it.

 

Jinyoung grabs the bag and empties the contents of his closet into the bag - he doesn't take too much, not wanting Jaebum to know he’s stopped by under any circumstances. No, he takes just enough to get by, enough for just a little while longer why he wraps his head around his decisions.

 

The duffle bag isn't too heavy, so he slugs the strap over his shoulder and positions it comfortable against him. On tiptoes, Jinyoung steps over all the debris on the floor. Although it was possible Jaebum wouldn't notice a slight shift on something thrown onto their carpet, Jinyoung didn’t want to take the chance.

 

As he begins to walk to the door, something catches his eye. It’s shining, the sunlight from one of the windows hitting just so a ray hits Jinyoung directly in the face.

 

Turning to face it, resting on the top of their table, is a picture frame. Jinyoung recognizes immediately which one it is, having been the one to buy it. It’s small, sort of simple - in reality, it was the picture that Jinyoung remembers the most, even without looking at it.

 

It’s the day that Jaebum had proposed. Jackson had taken the photo of the two of them. The two of them are looking straight at each other, mirrored happy smiles on their faces. He remembers the moment too, how happy he had been in the moment, how much he had told himself that it was what he wanted.

 

That man - that Jinyoung - is not the one who is standing in this room right now. He seems like a faraway thought, a passing idea almost. Maybe he was never that Jinyoung at all.

 

It’s still a nice photo of the two of them, completely candid and real. Jinyoung wants to hate it, he really does, but he can't. This must be how Jaebum is coping, and he uses that word loosely.

 

Managing to tear his eyes away from it, Jinyoung makes a hasty retreat for the front door.

 

-

 

Mark is still nowhere to be found when Jinyoung returns. The hope in his heart deflates-

 

He pauses for a moment. Why had he been hopeful just then? Yes, Mark was good company and someone Jinyoung liked spending time with, but what was it that made him feel this way? Why was Mark invading his thoughts at every moment?

 

Jinyoung shakes off the thoughts. There wasn't any reason to worry about it right now. He had things he needed to do, anyways.

 

Having his own clothes back felt like a small miracle. There’s been nothing wrong with the clothes he’s wearing, but the sensation is like sleeping in your bed after a long time away from home - you start to miss the comfort and familiarity they bring. Even just seeing clothes that he’s probably worn hundreds of times puts a smile on his face.

 

He takes his time, putting the clothes away (occasionally reminiscing about each garment, as silly as that seems). It doesn’t take much time at all to put all his clothes away. It might trivial to even do so. It’s not like this place is his home, but somehow, it comforts Jinyoung. After seeing the state of his used-to-be apartment, even a hotel room feels more familiar.

 

The rest of the day flies by. Jinyoung stays inside of his room and thinks over the disarray that he had seen. Jaebum wasn’t one to normally be so messy, so chaotic. This situation must be messing with him more than Jinyoung originally thought, although he can’t really blame the other.

 

And the picture. That photo is burnt into Jinyoung’s memory forever, how lonely it had looked being off its shelf. Even with his decision to leave in the end, he loves that photo more than anything. It’s a cherished memory that many people won’t see. It was a memory meant for just the two of them.

 

Jinyoung wished he could change how he felt. If he hadn’t been so trapped within his own emotions, maybe it could have worked out. In the end, how bad could it have been if he married Jaebum? Sure, Jinyoung didn’t love him like Jaebum loved him, but couldn’t it have been enough?

 

No, it probably couldn’t have.

 

A knock from the door startles him. Could it be Mark on the other side of the door?

 

Jinyoung stands quickly, taking large strides to get to the door as fast as possible, and opens it with one, hard pull.

 

On the other side isn’t Mark - in fact, the person on the other side of the door is the same receptionist that Jinyoung has badgered about Mark for the past few days. She gives him a pleasant smile.

 

“Mr. Tuan left this for you,” she says candidly, revealing a small note in her hand, which she now holds out to Jinyoung.

 

Without a word, he takes it politely from her grasp. The name Tuan doesn’t ring a bell at first, but eventually, he realizes that there is only one person that it could possibly be. “Thank you,” he replies, a small smile forming on his face, bowing his head.

 

The girl smiles politely back and Jinyoung closes the door behind him.

 

With renewed purpose, Jinyoung frantically moves to unfold the note. It’s written on simple, lined paper, as if ripped out of a notebook. On the note itself is a single sentence, signed by Mark, telling Jinyoung to come up to the roof whenever he got the letter. Jinyoung doesn’t think he’s moved faster in his entire life.

 

Just as the note says, when Jinyoung reaches the roof where they had talked a few nights ago, winded and wide eyed, Mark is there.

 

It’s the same old roof, the same concrete, and yet it feels so different. Mark is the one who had summoned him this time, not Jinyoung, and that in it of itself meant something. Whatever meaning there was behind this meaning, he wasn’t sure just yet, but Jinyoung had more than a strong feeling that he’d find out soon enough.

 

Mark is leaning against the same ledge, his eyes trained on the sky, when he must hear Jinyoung make his grand entrance. He tears his gaze away from the night sky and smiles at his new company.

 

The lights from the street give Mark a halo; once more, the word ethereal pops up into Jinyoung’s head at the sight of the other. A… feeling bubbles up in his stomach, but with the rush of emotion that he’s feeling, Jinyoung isn’t sure how to identify it.

 

Calmly, he joins Mark’s side, finding himself in the same position as before. He’s smiling up at the other now, expectantly. “Welcome back, Mark,” Jinyoung says.

 

The other just quirks the edges of his mouth up more, smiling turning into a grin. Jinyoung’s mind helpfully supplies that he has a nice smile, before completely dismissing the thought entirely.

 

“It’s good to be back,” Mark says. A beat of silence. “You’re probably wondering where I went.”

 

Jinyoung, silently, hesitantly, gives a nod, making the other laugh.

 

“I was back in America,” he begins. “That’s where I’m from originally. My family… they all live back there.”

 

Mark’s expression softens at the mention of his family, growing fonder almost. “I try and visit them when I can. They helped me get here in the first place, helped me move here, get this place. The least I could do is see them every once in awhile.”

 

“I liked America. It was really nice… but it wasn’t where I wanted to be,” Mark looks back up at the sky, eyes wistful, and Jinyoung finds he can’t tear his eyes away from him. “I wanted to see things that I wouldn’t back home. Which is why I came here. It’s still a city, still my home, but it’s different.”

 

For a brief second, there’s a pause. Jinyoung scans the other’s face briefly. He doesn’t look upset, but there is a sort of longing lingering in his expression. It’s a type of look that Jinyoung can’t exactly place.

 

Mark looks directly at Jinyoung then, almost as if he was looking directly into his mind, his soul. Ethereal. That was certainly the word of the week. “It was hard, but it was what I knew that I needed to do,” Mark states, and immediately, Jinyoung knows it’s directed at him. “It just felt right coming here, even if it was the toughest decision I ever made.”

 

“You need to follow that feeling, Jinyoung. Let it take you higher than you ever thought you could go.”

 

In that moment, something clicks inside of Jinyoung’s brain. The way Mark is speaking to him right now must have knocked some sense into him, because all of the tension and stress that he feels like he’s held in over the last week leaves his body in an instant. A calm washes over him, like the tide coming in onto the shore, a feeling that Jinyoung hasn’t felt in god knows how long.

 

Mark is entirely right. He needs to follow what his heart is telling him to do. And right now, it’s telling him something he’s never even realized.

 

Looking at the other, it feels like it’s the first time that he’s ever really, truly looked at Mark. He knows every contour of that face, every smile, and yet this feels so new. Mark looks different somehow, as if Jinyoung’s eyes have finally been opened. It’s here, in this moment, that he realizes why he’s come to cherish Mark in such a short period of time. All his decisions, in the short time that they’ve known each other, have been made to keep Jinyoung happy. Showing him around, listening to him speak, even the little things like bringing him coffee; it had all been just to help Jinyoung. Mark is trying to help him get up and fight once more.

 

The confusing feelings that he’s had, the extreme reaction that he had to the cashier that one day, they finally make sense. He likes Mark. He likes Mark.

 

Mark is still looking at him. His eyes are hopeful and trusting, almost as if pleading with Jinyoung to do something, anything. He saw that same look in Jaebum’s face not long ago.

 

So Jinyoung does the only thing he can think of to answer: he kisses Mark.

 

It starts as just a gentle press of lips, innocent in its intent and light enough to allow Mark to back away if he wanted to. Mark is still. Jinyoung’s eyes are closed, so he can’t see what the other’s reaction is. He hopes that it’s only surprise or shock that renders him immobile.

 

It must be. After another beat, Mark comes back to life, and kisses back. It’s nothing entirely too passionate, just the soft press of lips, moving slowly against one another. Jinyoung revels in the feeling. He brings his hand up to caress the other’s cheek, and Mark, in a moment of bravery, wraps his arms around Jinyoung’s waist, pulling him that much closer.

 

They break apart all too soon for Jinyoung’s liking. Mark doesn’t look like he wants to pull away in the slightest, but he does anyhow. They don’t move very far from each other at all, foreheads now resting together and Mark looks directly into Jinyoung’s eyes.

 

“I like you, Jinyoung,” he breathes with a smile. “I want to get to know you better, and I think you want the same thing.”

 

Jinyoung can only nod dumbly.

 

Mark huffs a laugh, but his expression shifts, sobering quickly. “But I can’t do this if you don’t break things off with your ex. Officially.”

 

While the request catches him off guard, it makes completely sense, logically. Jinyoung has already caused enough damage for everyone involved. Getting Mark involved would only be adding fuel to the fire, so to speak, and only drag the other into a situation he didn’t deserve to be in. If there was one thing Jinyoung wanted to avoid more than anything, it was more drama.

 

It’s still a terrifying proposition. Seeing Jaebum’s reaction, after all that he’s been put through- it would be sure to break Jinyoung’s heart. In the end though, looking at Mark here under the lights of the city, Jinyoung knows it's the right decision.

 

“Okay,” Jinyoung manages to croak out. “I promise.”

 

-

 

In the end, Jinyoung mostly avoids the problem.

 

Mark is gone for a few days on a business trip (what it was for, exactly, he wouldn’t say, but Jinyoung is sure that it’s mostly an excuse to try and motivate him to talk to Jaebum while he’s gone), which leave Jinyoung nothing to do once more.

 

His thoughts continuously jump back and forth for the first day or so between calling Jaebum or thinking about Mark. Every time he was close to getting in contact, he would immediately think of Mark to calm him down, which in turn only motivated him to try again. It was an endless, relentless cycle, one that Jinyoung desperately wanted to break.

 

By the second day, he’s run out of excuses for not calling Jaebum. There are only so many times where you can tell yourself that either their phone is dead or that they might not have their cell phone on them.

 

By the third day, Jinyoung realizes that if it doesn’t happen today, it probably won’t happen at all.

 

He nervously paces his room. Jinyoung’s cell lies on the bed, Jaebum’s contact already open on the screen. How should he go about doing this? Should he call the other? Text him? Should he contact Jackson beforehand? Or maybe he should try and contact one of Jaebum’s closest friends instead?

 

The advice Mark had given runs through his head again. Follow that feeling.

 

Jaebum picks up on the second ring. Jinyoung can hear the familiar click of the phone being picked up from the other end of the line, and, for the first time since he left, Jinyoung hears Jaebum’s voice. It almost sounds foreign to his ears.

 

“Jinyoung?” he asks brokenly. “Is that you?”

 

He swallows the lump in his throat. “It’s me, Jaebum,” Jinyoung replies. “I- I was wondering if we could talk. In person.”

 

Shuffling sounds come from the receiver, as if Jaebum was quickly standing up, maybe shifting something around. It was hard to tell. “When? Where?” The words are coming out more frantic now. Maybe Jaebum can’t believe this is happening.

 

“I’ll come by the apartment in thirty minutes,” Jinyoung states slowly, forcing his voice to sound even. The more panicked Jaebum gets, the less likely Jinyoung would be able to hold it together.

 

“Okay,” the other says softly. “Okay I’ll be here.”

 

“I’ll see you soon, Jaebum,” Jinyoung breathes, and hangs up before the other can return the favor.

 

-

 

The apartment hasn’t changed much since he was last here. If anything, it looks as if Jaebum tried to clean up the main area (as much he could in his state), and although it was still messy, it was an improvement. You could even see the floor.

 

Jaebum, on the other hand, looked like a mess. His clothes were rumpled and mismatched, his hair unkempt and messy, and looking thinner and frailer than Jinyoung last remembers. It sends a new type of fear through Jinyoung with what he’s about to do.

 

The minute his eyes land on Jinyoung, Jaebum rushes over and brings him into a tight hug. It feels strange to be in this position now, but nice nonetheless. He’s genuinely missed the other, missed his presence. Jinyoung was the only one to blame for that.

 

 They pull apart a minute later, Jinyoung holding onto Jaebum’s forearms and giving him a small smile. They immediately move farther into the apartment and sit down on the couch.

 

It should feel like home, sitting here, back in his apartment after only passing through it briefly. He should miss the feeling of being here, miss the life he had and the things that him and Jaebum shared. Now it just seems like a faded memory, black and white.

 

Jaebum is smiling at him now, looking more than relieved to see Jinyoung in the flesh. That stings more than anything.

 

“Listen, Jaebum,” Jinyoung begins, his own smile growing sad. “We need to talk about this.”

 

Jinyoung tells him everything that he had told Mark not long ago, avoiding Jaebum’s afraid stare as much as possible. “I don’t know when it happened, and I can’t explain it, but a while ago I… I fell out of love with you. I was so happy when we first started dating. I can barely remember a day during that time where I wasn’t happy. Things were fine for a long time, but somewhere along the line, I just didn’t feel the same way anymore.”

 

“There were so many times where I wanted to tell you, but when you proposed, I felt it again. That’s why I said yes, but the feeling didn’t last. I should have said something back then. I should have told you the truth when you asked me. We were only miserable from there on. The planning, the spending, balancing work with all of that. Neither of us were happy in that. That was when I knew that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

 

The room is dead silent for a beat as Jinyoung collects his thoughts. Jaebum remains completely still. “When I saw myself in the dressing room, I felt trapped in a situation that I thought I didn’t belong in. I panicked. I acted impulsively, and I bolted, and I will regret that for the rest of my life. I will regret leaving you like that, because you didn’t deserve to be treated that way. There isn’t any type of excuse that I can give that justifies what I decided to do, especially on what was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Jinyoung concludes. “You don’t need to forgive me, but I need you to know that I’m sorry.”

 

Once Jinyoung has finished, everything now out in the open for the other to see, to take in, he feels his nervousness begin to build up. His hands start to shake just the tiniest bit, but the worst part is the silence. The tension in the air is so thick you could cut it with a knife. If Jinyoung could disappear right now, he would.

 

For the first time since he walked in, he sneaks a glance at Jaebum. He looks sad, dejected - a few tears well up in his eyes and roll down his face.

 

“I never realized you felt that way,” he begins, voice cracking. “I could tell that the relationship was dying but… I was hopeful for our marriage.”

 

Jinyoung can feel tears begin to build up then. “I still love you, y’know,” Jaebum adds with a sad huff of a laugh. “I forgive you. For everything. But I’m going to need some time. I don’t think I can see you for a while.”

 

The hurt that Jinyoung has cause is evident on Jaebum’s face. As much as he forgives Jinyoung, it’s still obvious that it would take a lot of time to heal a wound as big as that one, if it could be completely healed at all. The tears finally spill over in his own eyes, staring at the pain he’s caused.

 

“I have a place I can say,” Jinyoung says through sniffles of his own. “It probably doesn’t mean much, but if you need anything, I’ll be there. I promise you.”

 

Jaebum, suddenly, hugs Jinyoung once more, to which he returns gratefully. They’re both crying now, but there is an understanding that wasn’t once there between them. Although it wasn’t easy, this really was the best decisions for them both. Jaebum and Jinyoung can finally both move on from each other.

 

As Jinyoung leaves the apartment, he can hear Jaebum’s sobs get louder from the other side.

 

-

 

Jinyoung is eager the day that Mark is supposed to return. He’s not entirely sure what time the other is supposed to meet him, but he knows that other should be arriving back around the evening.

 

Killing time is the hard part, once more. He remains in his room for the majority of the day, Jinyoung thinks, lounging on his bed, thinking over the events over the past few weeks. Afternoon light begins to shine in from his window soon (but not soon enough) when Jinyoung once more gets a knock on his door.

 

The receptionist is back once more with another note it seems. This one is written on the same paper as the last one, still signed by Mark, but instead of a sentence, all that is written on the piece of paper is a number and a time: 304, 20:00.

 

The number is one Jinyoung easily recognizes, but can’t remember where he’s seen it. It’s obviously a room in the hotel, but which room is a mystery.

 

Jinyoung goes in search of the room, ready to waste more than enough time trying to find it, but finds that he doesn’t have to go far. Passing by Mark’s room, Jinyoung realizes, that the numbers on the paper correspond with the faded numbers on the door. He supposes that he’s seen them before when he was passing by, but never had taken the time to properly look at the numbers themselves. One mystery solved.

 

Although the time on the note said eight, Jinyoung wanted nothing more than to be in there already. Without thinking, he reaches down and juggles the knob, only to find the door (unsurprisingly) locked.

 

“Of course,” Jinyoung sighs, resigning himself back into his room. It was time to waste more time, then.

 

He starts going over in his mind all of the things he and Mark have done. It’s a relatively small list, but Jinyoung doesn’t think he cares. There was always more time for them to get to know each other now. There wasn’t any excuse for them not to.

 

A smile worms its way onto his face. Even just thinking about Mark makes him smile.

 

Jinyoung’s eyes begin to grow heavier as he thinks back on those moments. He thinks about the rooftop, their first kiss, even their first conversation. His eyelids droop even more.

 

The sound of an alarm going off is enough to wake Jinyoung. It’s his own phone, an alarm he had set and forgot to turn off. He rubs at the sleep in the corners of his eye, and tries to remember what he was doing.

 

Right. He must have fallen asleep while waiting for the time to pass. Oddly convenient.

 

The time reads 19:55, which makes Jinyoung spring up from the bed in a rush. He had just five minutes to get ready to go over there. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but, more than anything, he hopes that it’ll be good.

 

At exactly eight, Jinyoung is stood outside of Mark’s door. It doesn’t look like anything has changed, really. The door still looks the same, the hallway shows no other signs of life. It’s as if life is still just going on.

 

His hand hovers above the door knob. Jinyoung is desperate to find out what is on the other side of this door and yet, he hesitates. Nerves settle in his stomach. Why was he nervous? It was just Mark - kind sweet Mark, who has done nothing except try to guide Jinyoung back on the right path, to mend the things that he has done, to allow him to find his way. He shouldn’t be nervous, but somehow, seeing Mark this time, Jinyoung finds that it makes this all the more real. This was happening.

 

Forcing himself through the nervousness, he opens the door, and Mark’s bedroom comes into view. It’s clean and organized, similar to Jinyoung’s own hotel room. Instead, this one looks more lived in. There are posters on the wall and skateboards lying against the wall; there are pictures from home, probably of family and friends, and small decorations sitting on surfaces. It feels personal.

 

Jinyoung looks around for Mark, but in the small space, the other isn’t anywhere to be seen.

 

He makes his way over to the other side of the room, where a large window sits. The night sky looms overhead, the light from the city once more clogging up the air, clouding the stars from sight, but Jinyoung has never minded. The city lights were more like stars to him than the real stars were, after all.

 

The whole street below looks like it was glowing. The yellow florescent light gives a golden color to all that it touches. As beautiful as the roof has been, being able to even see the beauty in a simple street like this was a view he would take any day.

 

“Jinyoung,” a deep voice calls to him. Jinyoung whips around, and his eyes land on a familiar figure.

 

Mark is dressed in a large white t-shirt, and he looks as if he only had just returned. His smile is blinding, but Jinyoung can’t help but to smile back.

 

Legs on autopilot, Jinyoung practically runs over to Mark, pulling the other into an embrace. His arms automatically slip around the other’s neck, and Mark’s wrap around his waist. It’s like two pieces of a puzzle coming together at last, and Jinyoung has never felt so at peace.

 

He pulls away slightly from the hug to look at Mark. The other is already watching him with a fond expression.

 

“Thank you, Mark,” Jinyoung whispers into the space between them.

 

Mark his head to the side slightly. “What for?”

 

Jinyoung only smiles. His hand comes up to cup the other’s face again. “Everything.”

 

Like clockwork, the two of them lean into one another, as if a magnet was pulling them together. Jinyoung’s eyes flutter closed, and his lips press to Mark’s.

 

-

 

A couple of years later, Jinyoung finds himself standing on that same rooftop that they had confessed on such a long time ago. He stares out into the city, unchanged since his time here with Mark.

 

They’ve been inseparable, as far as anyone is concerned. Despite Jinyoung working long, strenuous hours at his job in downtown and Mark here at the hotel, the always manage to find time to spend together. Their relationship is the constant in their ever-changing lives, and the peace that they need to survive it all.

 

Things with Jaebum have gotten better over the years - the two of them are on friend terms once more, the way that it should be. There are still some lingering awkward feelings, but for the most part, any evidence left from what is now referred to as the “incident” is non-existent.

 

He recalls those events clearly even now, after all this time, simultaneously the best and worst decision that he had ever made.

 

Mark joins him a few moments later, taking his normal spot next to Jinyoung as they bask in the soft glow of the lights below them.

 

“Jinyoung?” he whispers.

 

Jinyoung looks at the other, smile on his face, only for it to turn into one of surprise.

 

Mark holds a small, black velvet box in his hands. He looks shy, even after all this time, and the light still makes him look otherworldly in a way Jinyoung could only hope to match.

 

Immediately his hand comes up to cover his mouth. His eyes search the other for the words that won’t come out. Mark is a man of few words, but it’s enough to see it on his face, everything that he wants to say, everything that he says every day.

 

Mark kneels on the ground, opening the box to reveal a simple, but beautiful silver band. Jinyoung’s eyes well up with tears, threatening to spill over. “We’ve been together for a while now. I know how I feel about you, Jinyoung. But will you follow yours?” Mark says with a watery smile of his own. “Will you marry me?”

 

With Mark, Jinyoung couldn’t possibly get any higher than he already was. There was nothing to question about this - Mark loved him and he loved Mark. It was as simple as that.

 

He didn’t hesitate to say yes.