Seulgi lies awake.

The bed is soft and the sheets are warm and still something persistent aches deep inside. It dances behind her eyes and twines between her ribs before temporarily settling at her stomach. It completes circuit after circuit, building and building until Seulgi can no longer take it.

She lurches upright and spits out a sob. It’s an ugly, broken thing and she clamps both hands over to stop more from coming out. Her lungs struggle and convulses and Seulgi digs her nails into her cheeks until she can feel the sting.

Seungwan is gone.

Seulgi slips out of bed and into the night.

The kitchen is dark and alien, the floor cool against her bare feet, but Seulgi no longer cares.

She leans back in the dark, basking in the metallic chill of the refrigerator and  trying to remember the person she was before all this; before Seungwan. Seulgi tries with something a lot like desperation but she can’t recall the way she was.  

Because Seungwan has left. And she took a part of Seulgi with her.

She is breathless and she is shaking and she feels as if every nerve has been set alight. There’s something burning under her skin and bubbling in her veins and she just wants something to hurt. She wants to scream until her voice fails her and dries out.

Because Seungwan is a filthy ing liar.

She had  promised to stay. She had  promised to try. She had said ‘I love you’ with perfect sincerity and earnestness and Seulgi had believed her. And she had said it back.

She takes a disc from the stack. She spins it. She flexes it.

It’s not Seungwan’s favourite plate, but it’s close enough. It had been the very first thing they’d brought together —white ceramic plates— because they’re what every household needs

And they were soft and disgustingly domestic and Seulgi hates it. She swings her hand down and lets go.

Crack. The plate shatters. The pieces are even and the edges are neat and Seulgi thinks that they look pretty on the dark tile.

Crack.

Crack.

Crack.

Crack.

Cracked moons gleam on midnight tile and Seulgi keeps on letting go.