They didn’t mean to get caught, this Seungwan knows. Nobody was supposed to see, but she does. Nobody was supposed to come home tonight, but she did. Nobody was supposed to find out, but Seungwan does. (She wishes that she didn’t.)

Joohyun is flushed a pretty pink, lips swollen from kisses, fresh bruises staining . Seulgi is on top of her, mouth inches away from pale skin. They look toward her like startled deer and spring apart. (Tucked in her sleeves, her nails dig into her palm. She won’t let them see. She won’t let her know. She keeps her rage hers and hers alone.) 

There’s a flurry of motion and then they’re sitting on the couch, apart and looking away from each other. And from her. Joohyun looks embarrassed. Seulgi looks guilty. (She wonders if the guilt is because of what she’s been doing or because she’s been caught. Seungwan thinks she knows.)

“S-seungwan, I didn’t think you’d be home…” Joohyun sounds breathless and Seungwan hates herself for the heat that rushes through her. She shouldn’t feel that way, especially when she knows what they been doing.

“Seungwan…” Seulgi says nothing else.

She turns and leaves without another word. She’s seen enough.

Though her rage is silent, it is powerful nonetheless.

“I’m sorry. It wasn’t meant to happen.”

They’re in her room and Seulgi looks so apologetic that Seungwan almost wants to forgive her. Except there’s nothing to forgive. Because Joohyun isn’t hers. (She isn’t Seulgi’s either; not matter how much she wants to be.)

“It’s fine, Seul.” She doesn’t know why she’s apologising.

She has never been Joohyun’s type, this Seungwan knows. She’s too soft, too nice, too sweet. She’ll never have the dangerous appeal that Seulgi does. Joohyun has eyes for her, and her alone. (Sometimes Seungwan wishes that Joohyun would her way once. Just once. That would be enough. But she never does.)

Seungwan can’t be angry. Seungwan won’t be angry. They’re all adults. They can do whatever they want. (She wants to rage and she wants to resent and she wants to share the hurt.)

“It was just...I don’t know what happened. One minute we were talking and the next…”

“I already said it’s fine.” Words and just words and actions are actions. She knows which means more. (They both do.)

“They look so much alike, I couldn’t help it.” Seulgi looks down and will not meet her eyes. (That’s when Seungwan let’s herself resent, just a little.)

Seungwan has never liked afterparties and today is no exception. There’s too many people and too little space and she is on edge the moment she walks in. (Joohyun had left her side the moment Seulgi was in arm’s reach. She clasps her hands behind her back and keeps them there. She doesn’t want to reach for someone that won’t be reaching back.)

She socialises, she drinks, she fakes a smile and she does not look toward them. She knows she won’t like what she sees. She’s making awkward conversation and then she’s being dragged off. 

She ends up in a guest room. She thinks it’s Joohyun. She blinks and the light shifts and she’s left looking at someone else. She remembers a late night talk with Seulgi and a confession and a name comes to her.

“Jisoo-ssi?”

“Seungwan-ssi.” Seungwan thinks she might be blushing.

They’re acquainted but not close. She knows Seulgi would like to be closer. It’s a shame she won’t get the chance. (She doesn’t know Jisoo well, but she learns enough. Discovers that she likes girls that are soft, girls that are safe - girls like Seungwan.)

And Seungwan knows. Knows that she won’t have Joohyun. But that she can have this. (Seulgi can have Joohyun. But she won’t have this.)

And so Seungwan shares the hurt.

She takes Jisoo home. They giggle through dark hallways and sneak into her room. Seungwan presses her to the bed, wrists pinned above her head, pretty face surrounded by a halo of dark hair. (They think she’s soft and safe. They never see her fangs. She’s a predator that looks like prey and they never realise until it’s too late.)

She drags along pale skin and leaves her mark, leaves her panting and begging and desperate for more. Seungwan smirks, bares her teeth, lets them sink in. (She agrees with Seulgi. They do look alike.)