It has been a year since I joined the military. A year since I took a step back from the glamour world. Things have been different since then. Alot different to be honest. Life without being in the center of attention is peaceful at the same time nerve wrecking. Peaceful because I get to live a normal life amongst people who don't worship me. And nerve wrecking since I fear that things might have changed after I go back. Let's not fool anybody, I do miss being in the center of attention. Even though it is stressing I do miss performing infront of thousands of fans with my guys.

Life without Bigbang is far worse than I have imagined it to be. Here, there is no Seungri to randomly touch my precious art pieces or Jiyong who would come over every now and then. Also no Taeyang to whine about his girlfriend or no Daesang who would play his newly discovered true love-drums all the freaking time. Come to think of it, i wonder if he is over drums by now.

Those guys have been around me for the most of my life. I grew up with them. During the trainee days together we ran around the corridors of old YG building. Heading to room after room, practising  with no sleep and no food only with the hope to debut soon. I remember this one time Taeyang passed out while dancing due to lack of sleep.

Even after our debut we faced challenges after challenges. I can remember the countless times I stayed with Seungri while he cried as he was scolded by Sajanim. The first time Jiyong, taeyang  and I drank to celebrate Taeyang's first ever kiss. Which happens to be in a music video for a song. How excited we were! Oh well he was an innocent boy back then. So were jiying and I. Also I can remember tagging along with Daesang during the few break days we got to learn how to drive cars from him.

Together as Bigbang we were able to set records and keep the flag real high. We laughed, cried and fought just like others but managed to maintain a strong bond between each other. Just like other idols the five of us have had our own share of scandals. But trust me they were uglier compared to the normal scandals you aware of. Some of us were asked to kill ourselves even. Those were the hardest times of Bigbang's career. A reason why we had to fly on our own for awhile. I guess that is what made us stronger. We have grown so much from our solo careers that in return it helped us when it was finally the time to release a comeback.

I cant wait to go back and join them. I cant wait to make music and go out on concerts. I cant wait to visit art gallerys and take pictures to upload on my Instagram. Oh my god! I miss uploading my whole phone gallery to Instagram.

For me the journey with Bigbang has been really beautiful. I hope the guys miss me as much as I miss them. I hope they talk about me every now and then. I know I have gone far and became a dot before disappearing. But we, you and I are under the same sky in two different places. I hope to hold out my hand so one of you can hold it. I miss you my best friends. I miss you every day and every night.