Two years.

It had been two long years since Seungri had been seen off by his friends, family and fans to leave for his military service. Twenty-four months since he last engaged in any kind of business. 

And an eternity since he had said goodbye to Jiyong.

You see, Seungri had always been about an exciting life full of adventures where he could live to his fullest and try out everything that was offered to him. He was a smart and fit man, most of the time at least, so when he was examined for his military duty and he was highly approved of, he had the choice which option of the military he would take part in. So he chose the Air Force.

He loved experiencing new things and of course those had to be exciting as well. Jiyong and Youngbae were forced to do the non-active duty service because of their tattoos which weren’t allowed in in the Army, Marine or Air Force. Daesung had joined the Marine and therefore had been back for three months now already since the service only lasted twenty-one months, while both the Air Force and the non-active duty service lasted twenty-four moths. If Seungri was being honest the length was one of the reasons he chose the Air Force; because he knew if he didn’t he would’ve been back before Jiyong and he didn’t want that. Being back earlier would’ve meant desperation and anticipation he couldn’t handle until the other’s arrival, rather he would come back with Jiyong together so they could share this moment.

Of course during the two years of military service there were holidays and periods of times that you were able to go home and so did Seungri. To his dismay he had only seen Jiyong twice in those twenty-four months because only those two times they actually had days off at the same time. Yet they never really said goodbye then, they also just saw each other briefly, after all their families didn’t know of their feelings for each other so it was and unspoken rule that their free time was spent with their close families.

And it was painful. So much more painful than Seungri had anticipated. 

He obviously missed all of his friends and family like crazy, especially his fans because he loved performing like nothing else, but he found new friends during his service so he didn’t feel as lonely and homesick. He usually dealt well with being gone for long. And despite his service being exhausting and stressful he loved the challenge, it actually wasn’t as much of a challenge as he thought it would be. He easily adapted to whatever situation he was in so he didn’t have much of an issue, he even got way more sleep and ate healthier than before because he literally didn’t have a choice at the military base where u had a strict schedule. You could nearly say he enjoyed this experience.

Nearly.

Because he could find new friends and live healthier in the military but what no one could give him was the love he needed, the love Jiyong provided him with.

It was the most beautiful moment of Seungri’s life when the overly nervous and giddy Jiyong, who had been trembling and looked as pale as a ghost at that time, confessed his feelings to the younger. That moment Seungri felt as if he had now all puzzle pieces for an eternity-long happiness, never in his life would he have thought that Jiyong and him would actually become a couple one day. He did suspect that the other could possibly have feelings for him but he never dared to seriously consider it. So of course Seungri was more than just happy to hear it from Jiyong himself, yet he felt conflicted. The kind of relationship they would’ve had looked poisonous in the maknae’s mind; too many schedules, too much stress and too many responsibilities. Seungri wanted so much for his first serious relationship to be, despite being logical and realistic he romanticized everything about it in his head. 

He imagined staying in bed with Jiyong for days, wrapped up in each other’s arms, watching movies. He wanted hours of kissing and cuddling and smiling at each other being stupidly in love. He wanted to pamper the older, get him thousands of flowers, balloons and chocolate as if every day was Valentines Day. He wanted to cook for him, making sure he eats well as in if they both got chubby together it would be awesome as well. He wanted to go out with Jiyong, going to the cinema, to new restaurants or to the older’s favorite stores. He wanted to talk with him about silly things through the nights like buying a house, getting a dog and getting married someday somewhere, without a care in the world.

But nothing of that was possible, their schedules were packed, Seungri barely ever had half a day of free time, his mind was always somewhere else as all his businesses had to be managed like never before with his enlistment coming closer. He was more often than not overseas, he never seemed to sleep and he never really ate. Looking back, even though it hurt, Seungri was still glad he decided to not start a relationship with Jiyong at that time. He wanted, more than anything, to enjoy the honeymoon phase of their relationship but if he thought about it, there wouldn’t have been one. He knew for a fact they would’ve neglected each other before their relationship had even started. 

It would be stupid and immature to begin something you aren’t ready for and they definitely weren’t. Sometimes listening to you heart isn’t everything, you have a brain for a reason.

Yes, it really had been for the better, however that didn’t mean that Seungri stayed unaffected by his decision. Jiyong was his favorite person, he had a crush on him from nearly the very beginning and after a few years the crush, that he had tried to deny so vehemently, had slowly turned into something more complex and complicated, something called love. It was difficult for him to accept back then but his feelings for his leader had only grown stronger to the point where he gave up and attempted to get any attention he possibly could. Being separated from Jiyong for days or weeks had always been hard enough, they would try to find some free time in between schedules to meet up or sometimes just called each other in the middle of the night. During that period Seungri was okay, he never excepted more to become out of it so he thought of himself as grateful and satisfied with being such a priority for Jiyong. 

But when the older had confessed, everything had changed.

Suddenly Seungri was aware of the affection that Jiyong had for him, how every touch meant more than just those of friends. And the maknae found himself yearning for more, after years of acceptance of his life style he started to hate it, wanting to spend more time with the person he shared the same feelings with, simply because now he knew he could’ve had that if he wasn’t so busy. That ed him up.

Then the military service approached and when he was eventually separated from Jiyong for real he truly realized how much of an impact the older had on him and how he was such an overwhelming part of Seungri’s happiness. Now that he couldn’t see him nor call him he began to feel incredibly isolated, as if his freedom was taken from him. Not long after he regretted not spending more time with his leader before they left for the service, even though he knew he did the right thing he still regretted it.

Some days he felt like going crazy, some days he just wanted to stay in his uncomfortable bed and cry and other days he was just void of any emotions. He did well in his duty, everyone complimented him for being so trustworthy and concentrated all the time, Seungri would smile and say ’Thank you’ but on those bad days, on the inside, he loathed them for being nice to him because that wasn’t the kind of affection he needed.

But the bad days would be over, after all he just had to remind himself that one day he would be back home and would finally be reunited with his favorite person.

And that day was today.

Seungri currently stood in a giant, organized group of people, men that, just like him, had absolved their military service in the Air Force. They all had to listen to speeches of higher ups that congratulated them on finishing their services and thanking them for serving the country. It was basically a ceremony which every ’soldier’ had to and the civilization could attend and it was meant as an honor, yet Seungri could hear the obvious hints of the higher ups trying to coax everyone into staying in the military as a career. 

No thank you.

It was difficult to pay attention to these speeches when you knew that the one person you were longing to see had the same ceremony the day prior and was already at home with his family. It was difficult not to think about finally embracing him.

And then it dawned on Seungri that there was a possibility that his feelings were now one-sided.

It couldn’t be right? Jiyong had been so freaking nervous when he had confessed to the younger, there was no way he was over him already, right? But it had been two years. And the two times they saw each other they were close but… just because they were close didn’t mean that Jiyong still felt as strongly about him as before. After all Seungri had given him the choice, it was him who had told the older to wait until they finished their service and then see if they still felt the same.

Suddenly Seungri felt incredibly anxious. Jiyong was an emotional person, he felt strongly about people but as fast as he could come to like someone as quickly he came to dislike them afterwards. Not that the maknae thought Jiyong would abruptly hate him but it’s been two years, maybe the love he had felt faded into something more platonic. Or maybe he had found someone else.

Seungri wasn’t usually self conscious but he couldn’t help but fear the worst case scenario. And he was glad he did, after all if Jiyong really ended up not reciprocating his feelings and Seungri wasn’t prepared, that would shatter him and his heart. It would anyways but he always needed to be prepared, no matter what. And he couldn’t even blame his leader because it was himself who had kind of rejected the other. Perhaps he should’ve accepted the older’s confession and started a relationship… But was a broken relationship better than none? Was it his fault after all?

He suppressed a tired sigh, all he wanted was happiness, he was so looking forward to seeing Jiyong again that he failed to realize that this wasn’t only about him.

Ahh, goddammit, stop being so pessimistic! He told himself while concentrating on keeping a straight face and staying in his motionless position in the crowd of soon-to-be ex-soldiers or however you would want to call them.

After the ceremony was over his parents were going to fetch him, perhaps they were already watching, and would bring him home. He had it all planned out in his head, when he came home he would first get his phone to text Jiyong to meet up with him, then he would take a shower and change before his family and him would go out for dinner. After that he would drive to Jiyong’s flat, or the other way around, and they would reunite. Pretty moderate, right? Nothing too spectacular. But of course he he couldn’t deny that he was hoping to see Jiyong standing next to his parents when the ceremony was over, who wouldn’t want to be surprised by their favorite person after not having seen each other properly for so long?

Right now though it was really hard to stand the still, at this point the speeches kind of repeated themselves and internally Seungri was tapping with his foot impatiently. All the other men standing around him probably thought the same, their expressions were mostly showing nothing but the maknae didn’t miss those lines of annoyance on their foreheads.

Now there was another person speaking.

And another one.

Then a marching band performed. At some point they had to march along in a formation, it still felt weird to him even thought they had practiced it many times beforehand and he obviously was used to perform. It just felt so unnatural, which it was of course.

But then! Then he finally was free to go! The whole group of former soldiers were going from standing organized to disperse messily, but none of them cared enough to watch where they were going. They all, just like Seungri himself, looked out for their families waiting at the sides, some of them holding signs up and the singer suddenly felt like crying. He made it. He had finally made it through the two years, this was officially the end. He was free to go home. He was able to see his friends again, he would be able to perform in front of his fans. This was it!

„Seunghyun! Honey, we are here!“ The familiar soft voice of his mother appeared behind him and when he turned around his parents and his sister Hanna were waving him to come over. The singer’s eyes searched for the fourth person he had sort of expected to be there but obviously in the end it was just Seungri’s wishful thinking, Jiyong wasn’t there. He quickly hid the disappointment and smiled broadly when he hurried over to his family, opened his arms and hugged all three of them at the same time. He was so happy to be back.

„My son! I’m so proud of you!“ Seungri’s mum said and began crying into his shoulder. „We missed you so much!“

„You did well, Seunghyun. We are so glad to have you back.“ His father added with teary eyes. Ah, he had always been an emotional guy.

„Dude, stop making our parents cry.“ Hanna smirked and punched him in the arm before hugging him properly after his parents had let him go. „I think their tears will form a river.“

„I love you too, lil sis.“

„Don’t call me that, oh my god, you are so embarrassing!.“ 

„Are you still going through puberty or what? I though you are going to turn twenty six soon.“ Seungri huffed and poked her side.

„Yah! You ungrateful little brat-“

„Who’s the little brat here?!“

Their parents only watched and chuckled at the bickering but laughing siblings. Some things just never changed.

The drive home had been amusing, instead of talking about the two years in the military they talked about anything and everything, especially entertaining had been the story about Seungri’s uncle though. Said man had apparently had an argument with a father whose son went to the same school as his own son, and while trying to show off and impress him, his own child (Seungri’s cousin), a boy of eleven years, had ended their heated discussion with „My father is a brickhead, I’m very sorry.“ and had dragged his father away. That itself was funny but it was even funnier when Seungri thought back to his childhood where he had done the same with his own dad. But well, those two were brother’s after all, it was just incredibly hilarious to se