---

—Present day— 

 

 

She sighed against the windowpane, wisps of her breath clouding over the glass. There were two more stops before she had to get down from the bus, but they had to travel further along the country and that was going to take a longer amount of time. 

That left Tia with all the freedom to think about all the mistakes she had made, all the choices that had led her to this particular life. 

 

If things had been different, she wouldn’t have been like this. She would’ve been happier. 

 

Jimin had always been a stubborn person, as stubborn as she was, which was why he kept on sending her messages and was insistent that she replied back even when Suho had specifically told her to cut ties with him. But Tia had played along for some time, juggling the role of the perfect girlfriend as she enjoyed the time she spent with Suho, as well as keeping in touch with Jimin in the most subtle ways. It wasn’t that she wanted to defy her boyfriend’s opinions on the matter, nor did she want to cause a fight between them — granted, Suho was a passive aggressive smooth talker, and his temper was not something one wished to see— but she couldn’t cut off Jimin completely either. The young man had been there for the most part when she had been struggling with her depression, and although he’d left without so much as a goodbye, she was still attached to him.

There were some things that mattered so much to you, that it would hurt you more to let them go, rather than hold on. 

 

And then one day, everything just went downhill. 

 

Tears stung at the back of her eyes even when she thought about it now. Pressing her lips together as she wiped the crystal jewels away in a subtle manner, in hopes that none of the bus passengers would notice, her brain flew back to that one moment when she thought her world had fallen apart. 

 

---

 

—Year 2003— 

 

 

“I’d love for you to meet her. She’s a gem.”

Tia almost dropped her phone. With shaky hands, she grasped the device with two hands and peered one more time at the screen, her lips moving along with the words when her eyes scanned each letter, each syllable of Jimin’s last message.

 

She didn’t know how long she stood there, gaze unfocused on the glowing screen in the darkness of the room. 

 

And then, slowly, her hand lowered to her lap. Her grip loosened, and she watched in a daze as the phone dropped to the floor. 

 

Why?

She should be happy for him. 

He finally found someone who could be his anchor.

 

So why did it feel like someone had stabbed her repeatedly in the chest, with every letter that her brown orbs had registered? Why did it feel like hands had clasped and were squeezing so tightly that she couldn’t speak no more? 

 

“Tia?” A familiar voice broke through the multitude of emotions crashing through her like a storm. The picture was torn apart by reality, and without turning around, she spoke up, “Hm?”

“What are you doing in the dark?”

A light flickered on. Too bright, almost blinding. But she could barely feel it, for her heart was being drowned in an emotion that she couldn’t decipher. 

 

“You okay?” Suho’s weight caused the bed to sag while warm arms wrapped around her shoulders in concern and worry. She felt his eyes probing her, searching for any indication from her expression. 

 

“I’m fine,” she replied monotonously, “Just tired.”

Without waiting for any answer, she stood up abruptly and grabbed onto her pyjamas which had been discarded at the side of her bed in her rush to get to the Conservation this morning. Without glancing back at Suho, she walked over to the bathroom and closed the door decisively, wishing to be alone and figure out her state of mind at this particular moment. She couldn’t care less that her boyfriend was boring an intense stare through her back, so much that it could’ve burnt a hole through her body. She didn’t care that she looked like someone had died, because a small part of her had collapsed and her rational mind didn’t seem to know how to cope with this sudden drastic change of emotion. 

 

She needed time to think. 

 

---

 

 

 

“Stop avoiding me.” Were the first words that left JImin’s mouth when he caught her red-handed about to scurry down the corridor. She had seen him coming from a distance, and had instantly turned her back, hoping that he wouldn’t have noticed the sudden shift in his peripheral view. 

 

But he did, and although she’d told him time and time again not to show up so suddenly at the Conservation Office, he still did. 

 

Clearly, he really wasn’t afraid of Suho. 

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Tia replied as she tried to act busy, shuffling through the paperwork in her hands. Anything to keep her eyes off the said young man now standing in front of her. 

 

“You damn well know what I’m talking about.” Jimin shot back as he stepped into her way. The woman moved to the right, only to find him catching up to her and blocking her path. She slid to the other side, but Jimin was quicker, smoothly stopping her advance. 

 

She glared at him, “Will you stop acting like a child?”

“Says the one who’s avoiding my calls like a five year old” He huffed back, crossing his arms over his chest, “Spill. What’s going on? Is it Suho again?” 

 

“Not everything is because of Suho.” she snapped.

 

“Then just tell me!” He yelled. This caused a few disapproved glances from their surroundings, and biting her lower lip in agitation, Tia quickly grabbed onto his arm before steering him away even further down the corridor, until they reached a vacant room. She pushed him inside and quickly closed the door, before turning around and facing the pink-haired man with crossed arms. 

 

She had to agree with this fact; she was to be blamed for this whole misunderstanding, this whole miscommunication on her part. But he had no right to barge into her professional workspace and disrupt her professional life like that. 

Who did he think he was, she thought to herself as she scoffed. 

 

“You can’t just barge in like this,” she hissed at him, annoyance blurring out the flurry of emotions that were welling up at the pit of her stomach, “Did you forget that Suho works here too?”

“I don’t give a about Suho.” Jimin replied matter-of-factly, “He doesn’t control your life. He has no right to tell you who’s your friend and who isn’t.”

“And you do?” Anger flared up once more, a volcano bubbling up through her blood like hot lava, “You’re not in any position to criticize me or my love life.”

 

“I don't understand why you’re so mad at me.”

“I’m not!”

“Then why are you shouting?”

Those few words caused her harsh bite of a reply to dissipate onto her tongue as though they had just evaporated. Her brain stopped functioning for a second or two as she tried to make sense of the storm taking place inside her thoughts. She herself did not know why she was acting in such a way with Jimin when he technically hadn’t done anything wrong to her. He didn’t deserve such harsh treatment from her part, but one thing jumped out at her when she took a step back to take a closer look at what was going on through her mind. 

 

Jealousy. 

 

Jealousy because Jimin had found someone. 

 

But why? 

 

And then realization hit her like a slap of cold wind. 

 

Why?

Because she liked him.

 

Because Tia liked him. 

 

The sudden truth that echoed through her brain was so tangible, so imposing, demanding so much presence from her that it made her take a step back from the pink-haired man, her jaw going slack as her eyes rounded like saucers. She couldn’t feel her limbs, couldn’t feel anything apart from the sudden rush of blood roaring through her ears.

Everything came back to her then. 

The warmth in her chest whenever she talked to him, the smile claiming her lips whenever she thought or mentioned his name, whenever she was reminded of the memories they shared, the red blossoming at the back of her neck and flushing onto her face whenever he was too close. At first, she thought that maybe it had just been an act of embarrassment, something that all girls did when they got uncomfortably close to a guy. 

 

Well, . 

 

“Tia.”

Slowly, as if it was taking all of her courage away, Tia’s brown orbs slowly dragged themselves upwards, up to Jimin’s face, colliding with his own maroon orbs. 

 

She swore she felt her heart halt. A silence like no other suspended time. 

Jimin made a move towards her, but she recoiled back like he was on fire and she didn’t want to be burned. A feeling betrayal flashed through her eyes at her own disgust for those ugly, insincere emotions of hers, and she couldn’t help but bark out “Don’t touch me” 

 

Hurt visibly tainted Jimin’s expression, drawing his eyebrows together in a pinched frown, “Tia, I—“

“Do me a favour.” She interrupted him before he could say anything else. Her heart was racing as if she had run a hundred laps around a football field, her chest was tight with clenched pain and with every breath she took, the back of ached with the unsaid words that got choked back before she made another colossal mistake. 

 

It almost killed her to spit those words out of . They raked against her tongue, leaving a disgusting taste of remorse:

“Leave me alone.”

Mixed emotions played on Jimin’s face then, like a cinema screen that flashed with splashes of colour. At first there was genuine hurt, and then anger, and then a raw resignation as he saw that there was no getting through to her, a realization that she was dating a man that would not have him around, as though he was just an incessant fly that could just be flicked off the end of the room and left in the dust. He was frustrated, yes, because he had been the one to mend her stitches back together, he’d been the one to pull apart her pieces and put them back again so that she felt whole, so that she felt worthy of something. 

 

That Suho guy had nothing on him, and yet he was being driven in the corner for being her friend. 

 

But if this was what Tia wanted, then so be it. 

 

He couldn’t possibly fight off the man Tia loved, after all, she loved Suho. 

 

Not him. 

 

Never him. 

It had never been him. 

 

“Alright.” Jimin almost choked on his words, his alto coming out raspier and rougher than usual, “If that’s what you want.”

He took a step back, then another, and another, until the door handle was in his reach. Tia was looking at him with a mixture of anger and irritation on her face, but her eyes told another story. They were filled with battling emotions, they were a stormy sea of ‘i don’t know’s’, but in there Jimin caught sight of the slight flicker of hesitation as she watched him move away from her, away from her life. 

 

But she wasn’t calling him back. Maybe she really did want him out of her life as soon as possible. 

 

“I guess I’ll… see you.” He tried his hardest not to let his voice break at the last two words, quickly opening the door and walking out of the room. 

 

Bang! 

 

The door signalled his departure, making Tia jump. It resonated through her mind like bullets, and every step further he took down the hall was like a piercing sting of pain stabbing at the centre of her chest. 

 

She couldn’t hold in the tears anymore. They flowed freely from her eyes and dribbled down her chin, snot accompanying the wallowing sadness that caused her to crumple in on herself and wrap her arms around her knees, in hopes that if she appeared small enough, maybe she could transport herself away from this harsh reality that had put nothing in her favour. 

 

It hurts.

 

 

---

 

 

—Year 2004— 

 

 

“We wish to cordially invite you to Jimin Park and Angelina Tin’s Wedding.”

She knew it was to happen one day. 

But she hadn’t expected it to come so soon. 

 

The golden-rimmed, off-white letter that carved out the words of gold that glittered in the morning sun, was so small and delicate that she could crush it with her fingers if she wanted to. 

 

But Tia felt a weight settle uncomfortably inside , like a lump that wouldn’t budge no matter how hard she tried to swallow. 

 

Placing the invitation gently onto the table and clasping her hands together like they had been burnt by the material, she leaned her elbows onto the table and let her forehead press against her hands. She heaved a huge sigh, as though she was carrying the whole weight of the world on her shoulders, when in fact, it was merely just one single individual that was making her feel this way. 

 

She thought that a year would’ve been enough to mend the gaping hole of her heart where Jimin was supposed to be. It was harder than she ever imagined, not having him around, thinking about what he was doing with his life now that they weren’t talking anymore. It was sad, but in part, she had done it for his own good. If Suho had found out about their hidden interactions, Jimin’s company would’ve surely gone down and bankrupt. On the other hand, her actions were also proof of her selfishness. Tia couldn’t push the thought of loving Jimin aside, and it hurt her even more to know that he was happy with someone else. Just imagining him smiling or laughing because of someone else caused her heart to squeeze in pain and longing, a longing that wouldn’t be satisfied no matter what she did, a longing that would not go away, even if she got herself as drunk as she could. 

 

It only made things worse. 

 

“What’s this?” 

 

Oh . 

 

She hadn’t meant for Suho to see it. Tia had no plans to attend this wedding, no matter how much she knew Jimin would’ve appreciated her presence. 

 

“Jimin’s getting married?” Suho picked up the letter before she could make a grab for it. He lifted up to his face and a small smile broke out as his eyes followed the intricate, golden font, “Well, that’s good news!” 

 

“I guess so.” Tia mumbled back under her breath. Turning away from her boyfriend, she quickly batted the tears away, feeling the stinging sensation in her eyes as she tried her hardest to keep her self composure in front of him. God knows what Suho would do if he knew how much this affected her. 

 

It made no sense that she held such strong emotions towards her pink-haired friend. After all this time, she should’ve been over him by now, and she was happy, wasn’t she? With Suho? He gave her everything she needed, and she clearly remembered how joyful she’d been when he asked her out, how the butterflies had almost drowned her in sensations she could barely decipher when his hand had brushed hers on their first date. 

 

She realized a long time ago that Suho was her reality, and that Jimin was the past she had to bury behind her. 

 

And that was who she had to focus on from now on. Suho was going to play a big part in her life from now onwards, and she should just forget about Jimin for as long as she lived. There was a difference between the innocent, naive type of love she bore for her best friend, and the mature, wise affections she held for her boyfriend.

For the love of god, she had to stop thinking that one day, things would change. 

 

Maybe a small, hopeful part of her had been praying that one day, someday, Jimin would come back her. 

 

No matter what. 

 

Turned out that she was wrong. But could she blame him for stepping back so easily? After all, she was the one that pushed him way in the first place. She had no right whatsoever to be pissed now that he was doing what she had asked of him. 

 

He respected her decisions, and sometimes, her decisions were based on her filled-up pride that was too much to handle. A pride that transformed to remorse the moment he turned his back on her and walked out of her life. 

 

Before she knew what she was doing, and before she could stop the words from bursting out of , Tia turned around to face Suho and with a determined glint in her maroon brown pupils, she stated three words that would seal her fate away forever. 

 

“Let’s get married.”

 

---

 

 

—A few months later, The Day of the Wedding—

 

The theme was of blue and white, just like the ocean waves that rolled over the sand onto the shore. The golden white flakes of dust were scattered onto the floor, adorning the church hall with a summery, very breezy sensation. There was already a crowd when Tia stepped out of her car, sunglasses perched on her head and her baby blue dress swishing at her sides, and among the sea of strangers that she seldom recognized, she caught sight of the familiar pink strands that caught into the sun’s light, reflecting off the colour and making him appear even more angelic. 

 

The buzz of voices were soothing and calm, not loud enough that Tia felt her insides twist with anxiety. Beside her, Suho took her arm in a gentle manner before peering at her face, “Are you okay? You look a little pale.”

“I’m fine.” She stated a bit too coldly for her own taste. She didn’t mean to take out all her frustrations on Suho even if he had been the main reason for them to stop talking in the first place. But looking back, she had to admit that he did have a point, and the fact that he wanted to go such lengths to keep her was a proof of his love. If that wasn’t a declaration of his feelings, she didn’t know what was. 

 

There was always a little seed of doubt ingrained in her mind, but she managed to brush it away when it was too much. 

 

Tia told herself that everything would be fine. The only thing she had to do was smile and act pleasant with everyone around her, in hopes that they wouldn’t notice the frosty air between her and her pink-haired friend. Now that she thought about it, she didn’t remember meeting any of his friends, or knowing who he hung out with on a daily basis. Right now he was surrounded by a group of men about the same age as he was, all dressed in white tuxedos and looking very refined and fancy. From what she saw as she approached him, they all looked very close. 

 

He noticed her when she was standing a few feet away, and through his maroon orbs she recognized the initial shock and surprise, only to switch to confusion, to finally end with a genuine, heartbreakingly warm smile that shook up Tia’s heart with repressed emotions. She hadn’t noticed it, but her breaths came out shaky and uncontrolled as she tried to regain control of her senses. 

 

“Tia,” he said as a sign of greeting as he approached her. His eyes swept to Suho’s figure, before settling back onto her, sparkling with a light that she seldom saw before. It almost looked like he was the happiest man alive to see her standing before him, and it didn’t make things any easier for her. 

 

Opening , she almost regretted how his name rolled off her lips. As though she still cared too much, as though there was still a spark of hope left for him in the dusty corner of her heart. 

“Jimin.”

“It’s been a long time.” He replied, the pleasant tone of his voice contrasting with the sombre expression that claimed his features. Thinking back to their last encounter, they hadn’t ended on a good note, and seeing him again just brought back everything; all the words she said that she regretted the moment they spurted out of . The scar etched over her heart, where Jimin’s place had been, was getting pricked on, as if something or someone was busy picking off the scabs of the sealed up wound so that new, fresh pain would come swelling through her, as if she didn’t have enough to deal with. 

 

“How have you guys been?” Jimin’s face was guarded and cautious, as though he was stepping across egg shells. 

 

“Alright, I guess,” Tia sent a half-smile, “How are you feeling? Excited? Nervous?”

“Both,” he laughed and scratched the back of his head, a gesture that he did whenever he was feeling uncomfortable, “Marriage is a bigger deal than I thought.”

“Oh, how we’d know about that” Suho pitched in at the very wrong moment, when Tia only wished that he would keep his mouth shut. 

 

“Oh?” Jimin looked at Tia pointedly, before looking at Suho, and then looking back at the said girl with a knowing look of realization that grew over his face, “Are you guys?…”

“We’re getting married next year,” With his words, Suho’s arm looped around Tia’s waist as he brought her closer to his side, smiling from ear to ear as though at that very precise moment, nobody — not even the groom— could be a happier man than he was.

Tia hadn’t expected that sudden bold move, and embarrassment flushed to the back of her neck and flowed to her cheeks, causing them to turn warm and pink. She did not dare meeting Jimin’s gaze and preferred focusing her attention on the ground at her feet, finding a newfound interest in the cracked cemented tiles. 

 

“Congratulations.”

Her head whipped up to clash with Jimin’s brown orbs. They were filled with undeciphered, unrecognizable feelings. But the emotion was there; an intense emotion pulsing through those maroon swirls as though he was trying to pass on a message, trying to communicate what couldn’t be said out loud. 

 

“Thanks man” Suho replied before she could open , and a sudden twinge piqued at the centre of her chest right in between her lungs. Tia’s eyes fluttered back to the ground, somehow unable to look at anyone but her feet. Jimin sounded happy for her, and even the smile that danced across his lips right now looked genuine and real.

But then, why were his eyes saying something else?

Why did he look like he was trying to hide something from her?

And why, out of all the dumbest questions in the universe, did Tia care about what Jimin thought or what he felt for that matter? She was happy with Suho and the said man was her boyfriend, and would soon be her husband. 

 

So why were her heartstrings still playing the saddened melody of remorse at the sight of Jimin’s face?

Deep down, in the furthest, darkest parts of her mind, why was she hoping for something different? Why was she hoping that somehow, somewhere in the midst of everything…Jimin would turn back and claim her as his own?

“I”m going to steal her for a moment.”

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she hadn’t realized the pink-haired groom’s grip on her shoulder, before he pulled her away from her boyfriend to a more secluded area, where there weren’t many people lingering around. Tia quickly stumbled over her feet in her high heels as she tried to catch up with his pace, noting the familiar warmth that his touch spread over her whole body. 

 

She was horrified at the thought of thinking of such disgraceful things when she was taken by another man. Get a grip, Tia! She wanted to slap herself back to reality, you’re going to get married to Suho! And this man before you, he’s going to get married to someone else! So stop losing yourself in such fantasies! 

 

“I thought I’d never get to see you again.”

She looked away, quite amazed by how she embarrassed was with this whole ordeal when she clearly remembered how she had been the one to push him out of her life in the first place. There was nothing, no words that could mend the gap that had stretched between them like a thin, sheet of pressure about to break due to the tension. Unconsciously, her hands found each other, clasping together in a tight grip so as not to lose control over her sanity, so as to be reminded that this was her reality from now onwards, and that there was no going back to the past, no going back to erase the mistakes that she once thought were wise decisions. 

 

“I’m happy for you.” She choked out, making sure that the words sounded more genuine than she’d ever feel.

“I am, too.” Jimin nodded, gesturing towards the silver band adorning her finger. She quickly put her hands behind her back, laughing nervously and not knowing why she had the urge to hide it. It wasn’t like it was a bad thing to be engaged, and yet she was acting as though it was a criminal crime against humanity. 

“It took me a long time to figure out whether I should tell you this or not.”

She blinked, eyebrows pinching into a frown, “What do you mean?”

“I made many mistakes, Tia, the first one being that I wasn’t honest enough with you.” Jimin pressed his lips together in what looked like shame, “And to this day, I regret it.”

Tia nodded, unsure of what else to say. What could be said when he was going to get married off to another woman soon enough?

Her lips ached for that freedom, trembled with the remorse and guilt of always suppressing the emotions that were swimming beneath her tongue, just at the tip of . 

 

“I’m sorry,” Jimin’s alto was barely a murmur, a caress of a whisper falling from his mouth, eyes as gentle as the lull of the sea breeze, “for not telling you about my scholarship.”

Tia nodded in response. It still pricked her that he hadn’t trusted her enough to confide in her. 

 

“I’m sorry for not telling you about my situation. I knew your family was well-off, and I didn’t want you taking pity on me because of that, nor did I want you to feel bad about yourself.”

The way he apologized resembled somewhat like a permanent goodbye, and she didn’t know how to feel about that. It seemed like it would be the last time they ever saw each other, and although Tia had sworn that she’d never face that pink-haired bastard for the rest of her life, deep down… 

She missed him. 

 

She missed him more than anyone else in the world. 

 

She missed talking to him about anything and everything. She missed his voice, she missed his laughter, she missed the way he listened whenever she was feeling excited or nervous or totally out of it. She missed having him to deal with her problems and make her feel better with the pretty pictures he painted with words. She missed his comforting, warm and woody scent that made her heart feel at ease, as though it had found the home where it would be residing forever. 

 

“Hey, don’t cry.” It was when the pink-haired man’s finger delicately grazed her cheek, the corner of her eye that Tia took note of the tears that had welled up and were already cascading down to drip off her chin like slithers of rivers paving their way onto her skin, “Please, Tia. I’m not done yet.”

“There’s more?” She thought she sounded pathetic, sounding breathless and with her voice being a little too airy to her liking. She decided to blame it on the tears. 

 

He chuckled at that, “Well, I gotta catch up for all those last years.” 

 

She said nothing because they both knew that they were both at fault. She opened to apologize in turn, only to be cut off by Jimin’s words once more:

 

“I’m sorry for not being there when you needed me, even when I knew what you were going through,” His orbs pierced through her with intense emotion, begging for understanding and forgiveness, “I’m sorry for not trusting you enough, for being a selfish that could only think about himself when I didn’t realize how much my absence hurt you.”

Pausing, he took a deep breath and ran his hands through his bright pink strands of hair as he momentarily closed his eyes. With the afternoon sun beating down on him and bouncing off the reflection of his locks and porcelain skin, Jimin looked like an angel that had just descended from the heavens. 

 

“Tia, I—“ He broke off, brown orbs shifting around in slight panic, his knuckles white at his sides, “I know it’s kind of a bad timing to say this now, but—I—well—“ He squeezed his eyes shut or a few seconds before releasing a breath:

 

 “I loved you.”

The world literally stopped moving. 

Time froze in place, everything was immobile as the meaning of Jimin’s words sunk in like a dead weight. 

 

It was like a pin of reality dropping to the ground. 

 

What? Was the only thought running through Tia’s head. She didn’t know whether she had to laugh or cry at the suddenness of the news. What did he mean by that?

He must be kidding, right?

His expression clearly stated that he wasn’t. 

 

She opened , but closed it again upon realization that there was nothing she could say, nothing she could do, to make the situation better. On the contrary, anything that would happen as a result of this would just lead to more disastrous consequences, ones that she wasn’t sure she was ready to face, especially not when her present boyfriend was around because he had a temperament unlike anyone she ever met. 

 

“Really, that’s what you had to tell me?” She tried to lighten the mood, to avail. Jimin kept on gazing at her with a tenderness she wasn’t accustomed to. This look, she had never seen it on Suho’s face, not even when they had started darting. It was an expression of delicacy, an expression that glowed with intense, soft emotions that made her feel warm and secure and as though she the centre of his attention, the focus of his universe, the reason why he was breathing, even. 

 

Finally, she sighed while poking the inside of her cheek with her tongue, “Well, what great timing. You're a little too late.”

“I know.” Was his reply. His eyes were sparkling with unshed tears, as though they were really saying goodbye forever, as though they would never meet again, “I wish that things had worked out differently.”

Anger suddenly flared within the pits of her stomach. “Why didn’t you tell me before?” she snapped, knowing full well that if he had at least told her a few years earlier, they wouldn’t have been in such a situation right now. She wouldn’t have been going through a heartbreak, and neither would he. They probably would’ve been happier, much happier in each other’s company, instead of trying to make it work with different people. 

 

“How was I supposed to know that you liked me back?” he shot back.
“Why are you telling me this now, then?” she demanded, fire spitting from her lips. “I loved you, I loved you so damn much. And then you go ahead and dated someone else. I couldn’t bring myself to face you.”

“And do you know how hard it was for me? To see you, dating that of a guy? That ?” Jimin threw his hands in the air in frustration, “He doesn’t do for you and yet you’re still with him.”

“You didn’t do for me either. You just disappeared off the face of the earth, and came bouncing back thinking that everything was just as you left it,” she sneered back, he eyes narrowed dangerously and her words coming out like venom pouring from , “People move on. I had to move on, from you, from the many wounds you left in me. You couldn’t have expected me to keep waiting like a fool.”

 

They both stared at each other, breaths heaving, both wrapped in their small bubbles of frustration and anger and mere irritation. Tia was focusing on the spike in her blood gushing through her veins in agitation, in the ache in her palm, tingling to slap some sense into that man, that man that was the source of all her troubles, that man that made her go through so much, never to realize the extent of his actions. The man that had taken a hold of her heart and crumpled it up in his hands. 

 

The man that, to this day, she still loved more than anything else in this whole universe.

 

After a long stretch of silence, when she thought that none of them would back down from their respective stands, Jimin finally let out a long, slow breath of a sigh, as though he was a man in need of a rest from the flow of life.

Looking behind her at the crowd of people that were now entering the church, then back at her face, he murmured, “I didn’t want things to end like this.” 

 

Tia let her eyes flutter to the ground, not sure what to say or what to do. The man she had loved had confessed his affections for her too, but it was just the wrong timing, the wrong situation. Everything just seemed wrong wrong wrong. 

 

“I’ll miss you.” she whispered out loud impulsively before she could stop herself. Jimin’s mouth cracked up into a small smile, before he replied, “I’ll miss you too.” 

 

“I think the ceremony’s starting soon.” he said as he flicked his wrist to peek at his watch.

Tia’s chest tightened with knots. This was it. Jimin was going to become someone else’s for probably the rest of his life, and that was how it was going to end between them; unanswered, always longing, with a nostalgia that she’d have to carry with her to her grave, for real this time. 

 

She’s going to lose Jimin soon. He’s going to be another woman’s man. 

 

“You should probably go get ready.” she suggested, although her words came out more strangled than how she wanted them to sound. 

 

“Yeah,” He nodded wistfully, gazing at her with an undeniable affection that caused his maroon orbs to swim and sparkle in the afternoon sun beating down on their figures. A small hint of a smile danced across his lips, his whole face turning gentle and radiant at the same time, “I guess this is goodbye, then?” 

 

Tia forced a nod, “Mhm.” 

 

And then, he did something that would forever leave an imprint on her already scarred heart. 

His arms wound around her, bringing her close to his chest as she felt his heartbeat swim with hers in the same rhythm, the same rapid fluttering of hummingbirds dancing along together in a sweet melody. His scent enveloped her like a cocoon of safety, as though she was in a haven and untouchable to anything or anyone that wanted to hurt her. Closing her eyes, she tried to take it all in; Jimin’s skin, Jimin’s smell, Jimin’s warm palms emanating heat, Jimin’s heart beating with emotion. 

 

There were still so many things she wanted to say, so many things she wanted him to know. 

 

But the time was just not right. 

 

When he pulled back, it took all of her energy not to jump right back into his arms. Instead, she clasped her hands at her sides so tightly that they formed knuckles, a pained smile wobbling onto her lips. 

 

She couldn’t stop the tears at the edge of her eyes, though. She probably looked like a miss. 

 

“Goodbye, Jimin.” She whispered. 

 

“Goodbye, Tia.”

And as he walked away in the afternoon sun, as he walked away from her life, she whispered a few more words, words that she hoped he’d hear, words that she meant from the bottom of her heart even though it had just been punctured through with a needle. 

 

“I hope she loves you like I do.” 

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

—Present Day— 

 

 

She wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come out. Instead, she kept on staring out at the passing buildings, at the blurry vision of colours streaming through her peripheral like a movie being played in fast-forward. She was so, so tired of everything. Why did it feel like she spent most of her life dwelling on the things she didn’t have? It was almost as though she was trying to figure out, throughout all those years, what went wrong, where exactly had she taken a step in the wrong direction, where had things started falling apart and why? 

 

She regretted everything she did, she regretted not telling him sooner about her genuine feelings, she regretted going out with someone else just because they reminded her of that one man that dug a hole into her heart and never bothered covering it back up. She regretted, most of all, not doing anything about the situation when she had all the power to do so, when she still had the power to change something. 

 

But she’d been a coward.

Instead of facing things like she should’ve, instead of properly taking control when she still had the chance, she ran away and covered her ears, covered her eyes and made as if she saw nothing. 

 

Out of sight, out of mind. 

And look where that got her. 

 

A wetness on her cheek brought her back to reality. Blinking, she touched her face only to realize that the tears had sprung up from the corner of her eyes, that she was indeed, crying. Trying to wipe it away without seemingly too obvious, she almost jumped out of her skin when an unknown stranger’s hand produced a tissue in front of her face. 

 

Looking up, she blinked at Jimin’s figure and wondered exactly what he was doing here. For a moment, her heart soared and she felt a rush of happiness at the thought of seeing him again in the flesh. He was standing so close to her that she smelt his masculine scent; endearing and warm and safe, the haven of protection. Opening to speak, no words would come out. It was as though she had been silenced with shock. 

 

“Go ahead, it’s clean.” 

She blinked, and the moment was over. 

 

Oh. 

 

Standing before her wasn’t Jimin at all, but the younger boy. 

 

He looked just like him. 

 

Shakily, she reached out to grab the tissue while managing a wobbly smile, “Thank you.”

She met his eyes, surprised to find genuine concern and slight curiosity swimming through his light brown orbs. 

Just like Jimin’s. 

 

She remembered how genuine Jimin had been when they first met, how she could read his every emotion just by looking at his face. It was something she admired, to be so brave and bold and courageous in a world that mocks you for being yourself, a world that wants you to conform to a specific mould. 

 

But Jimin was an artist, and he’d never be tamed in such a way. 

“I know it’s none of my business, but…” the younger boy shifted closer when his voice dropped down to a murmur, “Are you okay?”

She stared at him, wondering if this was some kind of sick joke. He was just so alike that the resemblance was uncanny. It was almost as though her past was being re-enacted right before her very eyes except that she was now old and past her prime. 

 

“Don’t worry about me,” she shook her head and made a shooing motion, “I’ll be fine.”

He looked slightly doubtful, but nevertheless nodded and flashed her one last, final smile before exiting the bus. She exhaled a breath once the vehicle continued its route, impulsively turning back to watch the flash of pink hair disappear through the window pane until it was nothing more than a memory. 

 

She wondered where he was at this precise moment, whether he was having the time of his life with his wife and probably two children, an ideal number that he always fantasized about in his younger days. Was he eating well like he should? Was he taking care of his body now that he didn’t have to focus so much on making art? Was he successfully going through life and thanking the heavens for his decisions?

Was he perhaps, thinking back to the past, to the days where everything had been so simple and pure and just filled with a happiness that could never be found in the present day?

And in the midst of it all, was he perhaps, just maybe, thinking of her as much as she was thinking of him?

She’d never know, and she guessed that sometimes, it was better this way. 

 

Until their paths would cross again. 

 

 

---

 

And this concludes "Sometimes It's Better This Way" ! That's a wrap people! 
OH OH, AND I HAVE GREAT NEWS! 
I'M OFFICIALLY DONE WITH FIRST YEAR OF UNIVERSITY! 

Time flies by so fast that it's so scary sometimes, but right now I'm just ecstatic because that means I have all the time in the world to write and read and draw and do WHATEVER THE HECK I WANT AND I AM SO EXCITED! CAN YOU HEAR ME PRACTICALLY SQUEAL OUT THOSE WORDS BECAUSE I ACTUALLY AM FDSJFHDJHFKJF /CRIES A RIVER OF JOY/. 

Anyway, I hope that you liked this small story featuring Jimin! I hope that the message I tried to portray in this story was clear: Don't let your chance or any opportuity pass by, because a reckless decision based on pride and ego will just result in regret in the end. 

SO EAT THAT LAST PIECE OF CAKE, SAY YES TO PLANS WITH FRIENDS, BINGE WATCH THAT WHOLE ANIME THAT YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING OFF YASSSS OKAY ALRIGHT YOU GOT ME. 

Without further ado, I tell you all SAYONARA AND I will see you all in my other stories! <3

As always, thank you all for supporting and reading my stories, it makes my heart happy to make you guys happy :,) 
Love, 

-nutmeggu.