---

—Year 2002— 

 

 

Pain was a permanent wound that took a long time to scar. Scars became symbols of power, symbols that showed how much one has battled to conquer whatever demons they’ve been struggling to tame. 

 

But the pain never went away, at least not for Tia. 

 

She gave up when she realized that Jimin hadn’t bothered getting in touch with her ever since he moved. The friendship they had was so real that she had a hard time coming to terms with the reality she was living in now. She thought that they had something going on, that they had a special bond even though he was supposedly tied to someone else. She couldn’t understand why he’d be so adamant on cutting ties with her when they shared so many fond memories together. Didn’t that come back to haunt him when he was homesick? Didn’t it hit him that maybe, just maybe, someone back home was waiting for him to give any sign of life?

Or maybe it was just Tia had her overreactive imagination. 

 

So she decided to give him what he really wanted, and that was to move on. 

 

That was how she met Suho. It was by mere coincidence that they were partnered up together for a work placement in a Conservation Corporation, and she was instantly drawn to the mysterious, shy young bachelor whose personality and sweet smile reminded her so much of Jimin. The more she got to know him, the more she realized the similarities, and although she was still not over the pink-haired young man, she knew that she had to move forward and stop looking back for someone that would never contact her in the first place. 

 

That was why she was appreciative of Suho’s fondness and admiration, loving the attention he gave her as compared to what she’d been seeking all along with Jimin, who never acknowledged her existence as a woman. One date turned to another, and she found herself starting to date her co-worker before she even knew what she was doing in her life, before she even realized that Suho was not Jimin, and he would never be. 

But for some time, she was on cloud nine. Having a boyfriend that showered her with expensive gifts and took her out on dates every week was the lifestyle she was comfortable with, for she had grown up in a well-established family and was accustomed to all sorts of flatteries.

 

But she never expected to see him again. 

 

“Tia?” Suho’s hand fluttered across her face, and the said girl drew her attention back to the man sitting in front of her. He’d booked a reservation at one of the fanciest restaurants in town, named “Omelas”. The soft light of the candle flame softened Suho’s features, and tonight he really looked angelic and handsome, as though he was out of this realm altogether. But not even his gentle caramel-colorer orbs that usually caused her heart to flutter against her ribcage could prevent her gaze from lingering back towards the flashy pink hair working behind the counter. 

 

She could recognize that pink hair anywhere. 

 

Snap out of it, it may not even be him, she thought to herself adamantly. She shook her head, hoping that it would be enough to shake her brain out of the dilemma of thoughts clashing against her skull, calling out and pulling at her in yearning, a curiosity growing inside her like a flame that couldn’t be cooled off by water. 

 

“I’m fine.” She hurriedly blurted out her response so that Suho wouldn’t suspicious of her wandering eyes. The said man smiled down gently at her, eyes inquisitive and probing. If she didn’t know any better, she would’ve thought that he was aware of what was going through her head at this very instant. 

 

“What were you saying about that tiger we got just a few days ago?” He prompted as he lifted the glass of water to his lips. 

 

“Oh, right,” She quickly launched into her story about the baby tiger, fawning over its cuteness and telling him in detail its trip to the veterinary, about its fear when faced with strangers, but the way it purred when Tia had the audacity to scratch it behind the ears. 

 

“That’s cute,’ Suho chuckled, amusement lighting up his features. Tia grinned back and forced herself to keep her attention on the man before her — after all, he was her present, and she had to move forward. She had told herself again and again that there would be no lingering feelings left behind in the past and she’d make sure of that — even though her self-resistance was crumbling as the night bore on. 

 

She excused herself to go to the rest room, forcing her eyes to look forward as she crossed the bar that separated the worker’s station from the main restaurant. Biting her lip and in her cheeks, she focused on putting one foot in front of the other, knuckles forming into fists so tightly curled at her side that they were as white as strained paper over her tense bones. 

 

But one mishap of her part caused her gaze to slip to the other side, and her body froze. 

 

It was him. 

 

It was really him. In the flesh and blood and bone.

Jimin. 

 

She couldn’t help herself. The words fell from before she could stop them. 

 

“Jimin.”

It felt word, the way her lips formed his name as her eyes locked onto the pink-haired individual. She thought, for a single fleeting moment, that it wasn’t Jimin at all but someone that bore a striking resemblance to the latter. 

 

But then he raised his head. Their gazes locked into an intense battle. 

 

It was him. 

 

She couldn’t believe it. 

 

“W-What are you doing here?” Her sentence tumbled out before she could restrain herself from sounding so desperate and helpless. She wasn’t the same little girl that he’d left a few years ago, and she didn’t want to be. But right now, if she wanted to show him that she had moved on from his existence and had practically forgotten him altogether, she needed to get her act together! 

 

“Tia.” He replied, eyes still glued onto her face with an expression mildly resembling surprise, “Long time no see.”

She gulped down the awkwardness building up inside , “Yeah.”

“Wait a minute,” He hurriedly tapped onto one of his subordinates’ shoulders and in a hushed tone ordered him to take over for a few minutes, before gesturing her towards the back of the restaurant. They exited in silence, and it was only when fresh, cold air hit Tia’s face that she realized the gravity of the situation. She had left her date to go freshen up in the restroom, and yet here she was, standing next to the trash upon the fire escape, with the man that she’d been so in love with, the man that had ripped her heart out of her chest a few years ago and had never bothered giving it back. 

 

An awkward silence filled the air for a long, restless moment. Tia had no idea what to say, what to do. It had been a long time, she had to admit that to herself, and the people they’d been back then were definitely not the same people standing side by side right now at this moment. Questions burned through her mind, page after page flipping through her thoughts like running horses that left her dizzy and lost and unsure of herself. She wanted nothing more than to ask him everything, to let out all the feelings that were constrained within her chest like broken pieces of puzzle that she wanted to put back together. 

 

“How have you been?” 

 

His voice threw her off her radar for a moment. Did when had his voice dropped octaves? Since when was his alto that rough? She could only remember how his voice had sounded like back then, when they were still young and naive and vulnerable to the atrocities of the world. 

 

Things had changed indeed. By how much, that was a question that she wasn’t sure whether she felt like answering yet. 

 

“I’ve been…fine.” She racked her brains for something, anything to say to the man clad in black slacks and white cook overalls with a black matching apron tied around his waist. Taking in his outfit, it dawned on her that he wasn’t supposed to be here in the first place. 

 

“What are you doing here?” she asked. It may have sounded a little hostile and stand-offish. But she had the right to know, after all this time. 

 

He sighed, “I didn’t want us to meet like this.”

“What?” 

 

“Look, Tia. Things happened, and I had to move away,” He sighed as though he was the man that had the weight of the world pressing down on his shoulders, “It’s a long story.”

Crossing her arms and throwing him a stern, firm gaze, she replied, “I have all night.”

“Uh, no you don’t,” He cocked his head towards the restaurant, an expression of smugness with a mixture of melancholy swimming through his dark brown orbs, “Your boyfriend’s still waiting for you.” 

 

She was about to open to say that Suho wasn’t her boyfriend, when another realization slapped her right across her face so that she could only gawk at the young man, whom age had done nothing to deter his youth. 

Her mind was reeling, suffocation was crawling up her neck, her saliva drying in . 

 

He was right. Jimin was right, in all the senses of the word. 

 

Goddamnit. 

 

Clearing and releasing a breath she hadn’t known she had been holding all this time, she uncrossed her arms and looked over at Jimin with a flicker of doubt swimming in her dark brown orbs. 

 

“I’m never going to see you again after this, am I?” she sarcastically replied, knowing full well that in those situations she couldn't trust him. 

 

Not when he had been so eager to cut ties with her in the first place. 

 

“Tia—“

“It’s fine, I get it. You didn’t owe me anything, I guess I was expecting too much”

“That’s not why—“

“Jimin,” she looked down and sent him a sad hint of a smile, “ I think I’d rather not know.” 

 

“Can you just listen to me?” He sounded exasperated and that was exactly the reaction she’d been hoping for.

 

“Will that change anything if I do?”

“That’s up to you.”

Taking a moment to recollect her thoughts and gain control over her mixed up feelings that were literally all over the place at this particular moment, she raked a hand through her brown locks, wondering if it had been a wise decision in the first place for having confronted him when she clearly had no idea what she wanted from him. Was it an apology she was looking for? Was it for him to realize how deeply he’d hurt her? Was it for him to understand her side of the story and what she’d felt like when he left without a trace, without anything that signalled the fact that they had been friends once?

When it was clear that she wasn’t about to say anything, Jimin exhaled a soft breath into the cold, night air, his breath swirling in dissipating mist through his pink lips.

“I’m sorry.” 

Her head shot up. Did he actually say—

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know it would’ve been that bad for you.” He wasn’t looking at her, he was looking anywhere but at her, and she didn’t know whether it was because he was too embarrassed or because he was aware that Tia had been struggling, in the dire need of help and comfort from someone that understood her, when he decided to leave. She was a fragile soul, someone that needed constant reminder of her worth and who needed countless repetitive statements that she was anything but useless. 

 

And yet, Jimin had known, and he’d left when she needed him the most. 

 

But nevertheless, she had to learn how to fight by herself. He wasn’t going to stand guard for the rest of her life. 

 

“You knew.” Her voice came out sharper, more brittle than she intended it to be, “You knew everything, and yet you left.”

“I didn’t have a choice.”

“You lied!” She rose her voice to a shrill octave, “You lied about everything!”

“If I had told you the truth, you’d pity me.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“I didn’t make it to full scholarship okay!?” he looked up at her then, differing shades of maroon clashing against each other like ocean waves battling over each other during a full, blown-out storm. When he spoke next, his voice was controlled, strained even, as though he was restraining himself of he intensity of emotions tearing at the seams of his sanity, “I didn’t have enough money to continue studying, and I had a deal. Get the ing scholarship, and I’d be safe, I’d be able to finish my degree.”

And when his brown eyes dragged themselves away from her face with a newfound interest in the crack in the cemented ground, he continued in a welled-up, emotion-filled whisper, “But I didn’t make it. That’s why I moved away, to one of my step-mother’s numerous branches of restaurants. Then they started training me, and that’s how I ended up here.”

There was nothing left to say. What could she possibly say in such a situation? Everything that habited her mind, every single thought of negation she’d associated with the man standing right before her flew right out of the window when he spoke the words of honesty that she’d have gladly accepted if only he’d told her earlier. Thinking back, it felt logical that he’d kept all this to himself, considering the fact that she might’ve lent him money from the ridiculous amount of stash her parents had in store. Her family was well off, that was a known fact around the city, and yet it wasn’t due to pity that she would’ve helped him, but because he was her friend. 

And friends helped each other out in times of need, that was what she’d do for him. 

 

“So you didn’t have a girlfriend.” She clarified in her soft soprano. 

 

“Never did.”

“So all the crap about the long distance thing…”

“Was a lie, yes.”

“Huh, you at lying.”

It was when his head whipped up in shock and with a frown gracing his features that a small chuckle escaped her lips. He might’ve aged, and the planes of his face were more refined, sharper and more elegant somehow, with the age having matured him into the young adult that he was today, and yet the way his eyes widened and the way his jaw fell slack was so nostalgic to her that she couldn’t help the small chuckle falling from her lips. 

 

“What’s so funny?” he wasn’t pleased about how she was taking this so lightly.

Somehow, it almost seemed like things hadn’t changed. 

 

“You.” Her chuckle softened into a smile, “I missed you.” 

And for the first time that night, she swore she caught the glimpse of the same mirroring smile dancing across Jimin’s face in the shadows of the single light, an expression that she hadn’t seen in a long time, an expression that she’d longed for. 

 

“Welcome back.” 

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

It was weird and a little than more disorienting to go back to Suho after the sudden realization that Jimin was just a few meters away from her, behind the counter where his gaze kept on flickering back and forth, his stare so intense that she found it hard to concentrate on the man before her rather than think of what the pink-haired male thought of her now, after all these years. Had she changed? Had she turned into someone he hadn’t expected her to? He hadn’t, not a single drop of his blood had altered, if his permanent pink hair clearly wasn’t enough indication of that. 

Life seemed to go on as it always had. That particular moment in time that had suddenly froze space and everything tangible upon their encounter seemed to be no more than just a distant memory. She even wondered, after lying in bed for a few hours until the peek of sunlight streamed through her windows, if his apparition had been just a dream. 

 

It left her confused and a little worried about what was to happen next. All the feelings that she’d locked up inside the small space in the back of her heart and thrown away the key were jangling, ready to burst at the seams. She didn’t want those stupid feelings of hers to come back, and yet it felt like her body was a complete stranger disconnected to her mind. Thinking of Jimin would bring about a troop of butterflies and cause goosebumps to run up and down her spine. Imagining his alto speaking words to her, no matter what their meaning, would cause a smile to dance across her lips as though everything he said was something that she had to cherish. 

 

She tried hard not to let it affect her daily life, wondering whether Jimin would actually try contacting her again after she’d hesitantly dropped her contact number in his palm before walking back into the restaurant, but a week had passed and nothing had changed. There was no call, no text message, nothing to imply that they actually had a conversation in the first place. Tia felt like slapping herself for being so demanding and paranoid when it came down to Jimin, but maybe it was because she was so desperate to repair whatever had ripped them apart, maybe it was because she hoped against hope that things would go back the way they were. 

But that was far from happening. 

 

There were too many gaps to repair, too many things let unsaid. 

 

He called her one night, when Suho had just dropped her off at her flat. She had been ready to remove her shoes and plunge right under her covers to sleep, when the familiar chime of her phone vibrated in her bag. With a groan and with the little energy she had left, she didn’t bother checking the Caller ID, thinking that it must be the Conservation Group needing more of her tips to deal with animals. 

 

“Tia?”

She straightened up like electricity had zapped through her entire body. “Jimin.” 

 

And a few minutes turned into an hour, and an hour turned to hours lying around in bed and talking to that one friend that understood how her soul worked. It brought back so many memories of them both, curled up in their respective bedrooms as they shared dreams and secrets and fear about just anything in the world. Tia had never felt such a deep connection with anyone else, and having Jimin listen to what she had say without flinching back or mocking her soul was something that she appreciated. 

 

Her life felt complete again. Maybe it hadn’t turned out how she wanted it to be, but she had one of the most important individuals back in her life, and that was so much more than she could ask for. 

 

“Who’s Jimin?” Suho once asked when he took a glance at her phone on the countertop. Tia had been busy preparing dinner for the both of them, mixing mashed potatoes with milk as she looked up from the bowl. A stray strand of hair fell into her face as she did so.

It dawned on her that she hadn’t yet told Suho about such an encounter, and hadn’t mentioned Jimin at all throughout all this time they were dating. Something at the back of her mind told her that the man wouldn’t be too happy about the matter, and apprehension started gnawing at the edge of her stomach. 

 

“He’s a friend.”

“That you just met?” 

“No. He’s an old friend. He went away a few years ago.” 

 

Suho’s eyebrows had dipped down into a furrow, his face scrunched up with concentration as his mind kept rolling his train of thought. Tia could practically see his brain working out the equation and trying to figure out where Jimin was placed in such a complex equation. But she’d lie to say that she wasn’t scared of his reaction. She was going out with him, yes, but now that she thought of it, they’ve never really had such discussions, they never really fought each other out. They barely even had any arguments and she wasn’t sure whether it was a good sign or not. 

 

“Funny. You never mentioned anyone going by the name of Jimin.” 

 

“We fought right before he went away. But he just moved back recently and apologized to me.” She did not dare look over at his face, instead focusing her attention on scooping out the mashed potatoes into a glass container before slipping it in the oven. 

 

“I don't want you to see him.”

Tia thought she heard him wrong. Her thoughts paused for a second, before she whirled around with a confused frown etched onto her face. She didn’t have time to react however, before hands caged her around her waist and pressed her back to the counter. 

 

Suho’s forehead pressed against her shoulder, breaths hot on the skin at her collarbone. “I don’t want you to see him. Please.”

“W-Why?” She laughed nervously, wanting to run her hands through his hair in comfort but being unable to due to the fact that they were coated in grease and butter. So she wriggled them uselessly in the air instead, cocking her head in his direction. 

 

“He sounds dangerous.”
“Suho,” She chuckled, “he’s my friend, not a monster.”
“But it’s been a long time.”
“So?”
“People change, Tia. You shouldn’t be so open and vulnerable, specially if he’s a guy.”
“Suho, I know Jimin. He’d never do anything stupid.”

 

“How can you be so sure?”

How could she? That was a good question that caught her off guard. Of course he’d changed, it had been three years after all. But that five minute conversation at the back door was enough to remind her that he was still the pink-haired youth she knew back then, the one that pulled her out of her misery and made her love life the way she never loved it before. 

 

He made her see things worth fighting for in a world that told her to give up on everything. 

 

“He’s very special to me, Suho.” She pulled away so that she could gaze at his brown orbs swimming with concern, “He helped me out a lot when I needed it.”

Her statement couldn’t have been further from the truth, albeit the fact that Jimin was indeed a very special individual holding a particular space in her heart. She left out the fact that she’d loved him before, that there were so many fantasies and dreams of them being together swept in her head, so many thoughts of what their future might look like. If Suho knew exactly the extent of her adorations for the pink-haired man, there’d be no possibility for them to meet at this point. 

 

But she hadn't realized that her mentioning Jimin meant putting him in danger. No sooner had she told Suho about the former that she was slapped in the face with newspapers screaming with scandals involving Omelas, with the said man being the main attraction himself. News stated that their restaurants were cheapskates and were trying to steal money from their customers by providing them with the worst ingredients for loads of money that was going towards the owner’s profit, without even sharing the costs evenly. Soon enough, all the chains were shutting down all over the country, and business was going bad. It hadn’t affected the one where Jimin worked yet, but Tia feared that it would soon close down soon, as did all the others.

In her state of panic and not having heard from Jimin in a while, she sent him a frantic text asking for explanation, to which he replied quite curtly and in short, stark words devoid of emotion. 

 

Something was definitely wrong.

“Someone decided that it was funny to spread malicious rumour about our restaurant.” That was the first thing that Jimin had stated when she entered the doors of the restaurant. He was holding his apron in his arms, acting as a personal shield from whatever threats they were receiving. Right now, all the restaurants were on probation, and that meant that worker rates were dropping at a rapidly increasing rate. People were leaving, because people personally didn’t really care what happened to this place. They only cared about their future, and that was something that they wouldn’t find anymore at Omelas. 

 

“I don’t get it.” He raked a hand through his pink-dyed locks, frustration written across his face, irritation in the pinch of his eyebrows, “We respected the code, we did everything to maintain it at its best. We never had any enemies, not really.”

She felt bad for her friend, and powerless against the fact that she couldn’t do anything. Seeing his pained face made her want to help, but who to ask? And where to start? If it continued like this, Jimin might lose his job, and then he’d be strapped for cash once again while making rash and stupid decisions based on what he thought was best. She didn’t want to lose him, and she hated seeing him suffer, of all people. He had a rough life, wasn’t it enough to last him a lifetime?

And so, she decided to ask Suho about it. 

 

“My father can’t do anything.” was his cold, stark reply. Tia was taken aback for a minute at such a quick and reluctant response to her proposition; that Suho’s father took on Jimin’s case because he was a lawyer and an influential businessman on the side that could implore his power on just about anything and anyone. But Suho’s face was adamantly clear about his decision. 

She pressed on, “Suho, Jimin might lose his job if this continues. Can’t you at least ask?”

“Why does it matter to you anyway?!” Suho suddenly yelled. 

 

She jumped, blinking at the sudden mood change that had dropped drastically. What the heck—

“Why does it matter so much to you that he’s in trouble?! It’s his problem!” He continued on. Tia’s surprise changed to irritation, a frown slowly causing her eyebrows to dip down in the center. 

 

“He’s my friend.” She crossed her arms over her chest, “Why are you so worked up about it?”

“He’s dangerous, Tia!” his arm gestured frantically in the air, expression thunderous. She had never seen him so angry and she wasn’t sure whether it was a good or bad thing, “He’s a dangerous man and you shouldn’t associate yourself with the likes of him!”

“Woah, wait a minute,” she held up a finger as a sign of silence, “First: he’s my friend. He’s not out to get me or hurt me. I know him, okay? I know how he is, or I wouldn't be friends with him in the first place.”

She raised another finger, “Second, why are you so worked up over nothing?”

“I’m not worked up about anything!” He yelled back.

“You don’t have to shout.” Tia said flatly. 

“He’s not right for you. I’m not letting you hang around him.” Suho’s demeanour calmed down, but something else had taken its place. He was calm, yes, but a type of calmness that couldn’t be explained. It was still and static and a little bit too serene for Tia’s liking. It was a calm that resembled one of murky waters, waters that held monsters beneath the surface that you could seldom see. 

 

His next words dropped onto her skin like acid, shocking her to the core. 

 

“Its either him or me. You can’t have both.” 

 

Her eyes slowly lifted and saw the anger, the passion, the sudden madness that had overtaken Suho’s senses. He seemed like someone that didn’t have his head in the right place, someone that wasn’t being logical and reasonable about anything, almost like a child that didn't want to be persuaded over with candy. Suho’s brown orbs were stormy, maroon swirls colliding in a threatening aura, with hints of knowledge and knowingness, as if he knew exactly how he was going to play this out. Dread started pooling into Tia’s stomach, but his earlier sentence kept on ringing through her brain like a never ending cacophony. She wanted to grab her head and rip off the invisible earphones that had attached themselves to her brain, not letting go so soon until she did as she was told.

Was he really asking her to choose between the most important people in her life?

Tia couldn’t do that. She wouldn’t. How could she, when JImin had been the one to help her all along, when Jimin had been there the time Suho wasn’t, when Jimin had pulled her out of this back hole of sadness that had almost drowned her in its murky waters?

How could she turn her back on her hero? On the one who believed in her?

“I’ll ask my dad about his case,” came Suho’s sudden statement. That caught her attention, and hope somehow squeezed itself into her heart, “On one condition.”

Jimin had had a hard life, and she didn’t want to make it any harder. She’d do anything to help. 

ran dry when she said, ‘anything.’ 

 

And his words plummeted down on her like acid rain, as the words that fell from his mouth caused her breath to halt and her heart to stop beating in shock. 

 

“Stop seeing JImin, stop associating yourself with him, and I’ll try to figure something out.” 

 

 

 

---

 

 

“The number you have called cannot be reached at this time. Please try later. Le numéro que vous avez composez ne peut être—“ 

Jimin groaned and pressed down onto the red button, brows stitched together in a frown. His lips were pressed together in a tight line as he racked his brains for possibly reasons as to why Tia wasn't replying her phone. Somehow, everything had suddenly been cleared up with his company, and they had found the culprit of the leakage — who had actually lied for his own benefit— and as a result he’d been fined to pay for all the damages, meaning the cost it took to keep the restaurants closed for such a long amount of time. 

 

It was good news, and the first person that Jimin had thought of calling when all that happened was Tia. Except that right now, she wasn’t replying, and it didn’t feel like her not to be with her phone. 

 

She wasn’t always stuck to it like glue, but even with business calls, she had to have her phone with her at all times, unless she had run out of battery. 

 

Puffing out his cheeks in frustration, he composed her number and pressed onto the green key once more, listening to the monotonous beep of the dial tone when he put the phone to his ear in hopes that this time, if he was lucky, he’d be able to catch her. 

 

Maybe there was an emergency with her Conservation Centre, maybe she was busy dealing with tigers and lions. That was the only reasonable explanation Jimin could come up with at such a time, for when he cast a glance at the clock on the far side of the wall, he noticed that it was mid-afternoon. 

 

“Uhm, Jimin?”

He turned towards the voice calling out his name, “Yeah?”

Catching sight of one of his co-workers, he held up a hand in a waiting signal, still concentrated on the phone when the robotic voice repeated the same thing in his ear. With a frustrated sigh, the man cut off the call before looking up at the said individual that seemed to need his assistance. “Yep, did you need anything?”

“W-Well, n-no. I was just, uhm, well—“ She was fidgety, and he recognized her as one of the newbies that were freshly recruited, if this couldn't be denoted already by her prim and clean stark white apron, her black beret that still looked stale and stocky on her head, and her new black shoes that gleamed in the light of the restaurant. Her eyes were fluttering from place to place like a butterfly, but for god knows what reason, they never met his own, “I-It’s glad to see you a-a-again.”

“It’s nice to see you too…” He drew out of her name, unsure whether it was right, “…Saemi?”

She jumped, “Y-Y-You remember my n-n-name?!” She squeaked. 

 

And before he could answer, she dashed out of the room as fast as her little feet could take her, leaving the boy staring after at her with curiosity and amusement dancing in his eyes. His lips fluttered up into a smile before he shook his head. The weird, crazy things that people did today, he thought to himself as he turned away and started preparing his own work-station. 

 

He’d try calling her again later, maybe then she wouldn’t be too busy.

 

Or maybe she’d call him back, who knows. 

 

---

 

 

The miscalled logs on her phone were daunting her, almost mocking her on the too-white screen as she sighed in frustration. Annoyed, she flung her phone to the other side of the room and watched it skitter across her bed. 

 

Frustration bubbled up through Tia’s stomach as she leaned forward in her seat and ruffled her hair. Jimin had been calling her nonstop since morning, and she hadn’t had the courage to call him back or take any of his calls up because of Suho. She’d never imagined herself being scared of her boyfriend, but right now he was the person she feared the most. She had no idea how everything had turned out this way, but one thing was for sure; Suho definitely wasn’t the man she had expected. A newly found fear for him had imprinted itself into her brain from the day he had threatened her so viciously, had threatened hers and Jimin’s friendship and had even bartered her said friend’s job in an attempt to take over Tia’s life. 

 

And the most honest truth was that Suho wasn’t lying when he said that he could cause Jimin to lose everything he had right now. His father had such a powerful agency that they could decide to take down just about anyone and get away with it. In this harsh, unfair reality, people didn’t really care about honesty at all. Everything was based on money, power and influence. 

 

She had no idea how to deal with such a situation, and in addition to that, it wasn’t helping that the feelings she thought she’d thrown away for Jimin at the very back of her mind were slowly fluttering up the staircase of her unconscious into her conscious mind. She was aware of the danger of falling upon another side of the cliff, and yet what she feared weren’t the consequences, but how to break it to Suho. 

It dawned on her that the fact that she was thinking in such a way already meant that her heart had already shifted over before she even knew it, and part of her wanted to deny herself of that fact, simply because she didn’t find it possible for someone to move from one love to another so easily. What did this mean?

“Tia,” she jumped in shock when a head bobbed up from behind the doorway. Thank god it was only just another worker, for if her manager had caught her holding her phone in the staff room where their belongings were kept during working hours, he’d probably ask for explanations that she wouldn’t be able to answer. 

 

“Someone’s asking for you at the door.”

The first thought that flew to her endless list of possibilities was that Suho had come for her and had found out about Jimin’s calls, and for god knows what reason was going to take action about the matter. But that wouldn’t make sense for a worker to call upon her, for they would’ve mentioned his name. After all, Suho was quite well-known among the female staff because of his charming looks. 

 

“Who is it?” She asked as she got up from her seat and followed her staff member. 

 

“I don’t know, he just said he wanted to see you.”

It was to her greatest surprise that she caught sight the familiar mop of pink hair she’d been trying to avoid all this time.
Jimin.

 

The surprise must’ve been obvious on her face, for his hand went up to the back of his neck before he rubbed his nape, as though embarrassed by the sudden intrusion. “Hey,” he said, almost shyly, in a tone that Tia hadn't heard him use in the longest time. 

 

But that was to be expected, for the only memory she had of him as shy was when they first talked on the bus. 

 

“”What are you doing here?” She didn't want to sound rude, but the panic of Suho suddenly barging in the middle of their conversation overrode the tingles of warmth that trickled into her heart.

 

“You weren’t answering your phone. I figured you were at work.” His eyebrow raised when his gaze fell upon the phone in her hand, that she clumsily stuffed inside her pocket, cheeks tinted red with embarrassment, “And you did have your phone. My bad.”

“I was busy, I just got my phone out my bag.”
“Right,” He still looked unconvinced by her argument, but maybe decided that it wasn’t worth the fight. Instead, he said, “Can I talk to you?”

“Sure.” She was still shifty, eyes glancing around in a panicked way, “Let’s go somewhere more private.”

She led him into one of the corridors that were much less frequented by the public, and proceeded to take a seat on the edge of a bench. The pink-haired young followed soon after, heaving a sigh and looking at her straight in the eye.

She gulped. “So…what did you want to talk about?”

He took out his phone, toying with the keys with furrowed eyebrows until he found what he was looking for. He held the device up to her, and the small black letters glowed on the screen as if they were mocking her. 

 

“Kim Jun from Kim Park Corporation Law has found the culprit behind the sabotage of restaurant chains of Omelas.”

Her blood ran cold. Suho’s father was on the news, like this made anything better. 

 

“They managed to clear up the case,” the joy was omnipresent in his voice, and his eyes were shining, sparkling even. If it hadn’t been for Suho’s threat eating up at her insides, she would’ve jumped into his arms and cried out in delight.

Suho had kept his promise, and now she had to bear the consequences. 

 

“That’s nice.” She replied flatly. “Is this the only reason you came?”

If he was shocked at her coldness, he hid it well. Instead, he rose a brow as he replied, “Yeah. I figured you’d want to know.” 

 

Tia averted he gaze, palms turning clammy in her lap, “You shouldn’t come over here so randomly. I might get into trouble.”

A long, stretched silence hung over their heads. Tia had never spoken in such a way, and the fact that she was being so cold and diplomatic made Jimin’s chest squeeze a little. From the moment he saw her from the other side of the counter, he could tell that something was wrong, except that she wasn't going to tell him anything about it. He was certain that it had something to do with him and the restaurant, for he couldn’t remember any other reason or circumstance that he hurt her. 

 

“Is something wrong?” he finally had the guts to ask. 

 

Tia jumped and her head sped up. No, she couldn’t tell him, not in a million years. This secret was something she would have to carry over to her grave.

 

“I don’t think you should come over anymore.” She barely recognized her own voice as she stood up from her seat. She didn’t dare look at Jimin, for fear that her facade might just break down with one glance at the hurt in his expression.

Instead, she curled her hands into fists and kept talking, pushing the words out of as though she was spitting out bile, “Things have changed. I’m going out with someone else now, you can't keep running to me whenever you feel like it. People might get the wrong idea.”

Every word, every syllable she ed out of was a complete lie. She squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to halt the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. 

 

“Right.” he replied. 

 

“I…don’t want to see you anymore.”

There. She said it. The words that would haunt her forever.

 

Maybe she’d never see Jimin again. Maybe this was it. And it was all her fault. 

She had lost him once, and now she was losing him again, not because of the circumstances this time, but because of her choices. And because it was for the best. She didn’t want to hurt him more than she had already, and he struggled to reach the point where he is now, giving up his artistic career to work in Omelas, and now that he had a stable job and actual income, she didn’t want to ruin it all, not when everything was at stake. 

 

And so, she told herself that she wouldn’t look back at him, no matter what. 

 

But then, arms suddenly grabbed her shoulders. 

 

She yelped in surprise. 

She was turned around and her brown orbs clashed with Jimin’s own maroon ones. His hands had a tight grip on her shoulders, holding her with a firm but gentle grasp at the same time. She couldn’t help but compare the delicate way in which he handled her, with the violent and aggressive nature of Suho’s touches. Instantly, the thought of the latter caused her to push Jimin away. 

 

But he resisted and pulled her closer, searching for truth in her eyes, “I’m not stupid,” he declared, “Something’s wrong with you, and we’re not moving until you tell me.”

“Nothing’s wrong” She argued and wished that her voice held more conviction, “I’m just—“

“You’re just lying to me, because the Tia I know wouldn’t do something like that.” 

 

Her nostrils flared in anger, “You don’t know me—“

“But I do.” He shot back, “I do know you Tia, and I know when something’s bothering you. Your face says it all.”

“Really?” She felt the frustration flare up through her, sparks of red afire, “Because if you did know, then you wouldn’t have lied to me. You would’ve trusted me, you would’ve known that no matter what, I wouldn’t have judged you.” The pain stuffed at the very bottom of her subconscious was resurfacing, the memory flashing before her eyes as vividly as though it had all happened yesterday, and she struggled to keep her voice stable as she continued assaulting him with everything she had, “Why do I have to tell you everything, when you barely told me anything?”

“I already apologized for that, and it’s not the same,” Jimin’s face darkened, “I did it thinking that it was for your own good.”

“Well it wasn’t!” her voice rose at a higher octave, “You don’t get to choose what’s good for me and what’s not, Jimin!”

He was shaking his head in negation, eyebrows pinched together in a permanent frown, “This isn’t about me. This is about you,” he looked at her straight in the eye, and for a moment Tia swore she stopped breathing, “What’s going on?”

She wasn’t going to get away with it. No matter how much she lied or told him to go away, he wasn’t going to back down. He was as stubborn as she was, and she was aware of that, except…she really didn't know how to push him away when her heart was aching for his presence. 

 

“Tia—“ he started again, but she cut his words off before he got anything out of his mouth, “Suho doesn't approve of you.”

She decided to go with a little white lie instead of exposing the whole ordeal going on behind the scenes. It was better to say that her boyfriend didn’t approve of Jimin rather than explain how Suho blackmailed her into this. 

 

“Suho doesn’t like the fact that I’m speaking to you as if nothing had ever happened. He’s scared you might hurt me again,” she wrung her hands together and hoped against hope that he wouldn’t identify the lie in her tone, “so he told me to stay away from you.”

She managed to tear her eyes away from her hands to look into his own, dreading the judgemental gaze she feared so much. But instead of being met with the silent anger simmering within his brown orbs, she saw swirls of gentle chocolate, a tenderness of understanding and guilt that caught her so off guard that she almost gasped. 

 

Such fragile, vulnerable emotions that shook up the sanity inside her brain. 

 

“That was kind of expected,” Jimin sighed before pressing his lips together, “So what? Are we not going to talk anymore? Because your boyfriend’s jealous?”

“I’m not saying we can't talk,” Tia said, “I’m just saying that its best if we take a break for a while.”

“Right,” he chuckled, but it was full of spite, of cold stark mockery, “A break. What am I? Some kind of playtoy?”

“What do you want me to do, Jimin?” she snapped.

“Tell him how you really feel?” He took a step forward, and she stepped back upon instinct. If Jimin was too close, she was scared of losing that little bit of sanity she had left in her, that little bit of self control that held her so tightly with coiled strings, “The Tia I know wouldn’t let someone else dictate her life this way.”

“The Tia you know was from three years ago.” 

 

“But the Tia I know now hasn’t changed.” 

She wanted him to stop looking at her with such a gentle gaze. It seemed like words couldn’t form on every time she glimpsed his face, it was impossibly to retaliate when Jimin had her pinned down like a puzzle that he assembled together all too easily, with such ease. 

 

“You should talk to Suho,” He continued as his voice softened into a murmur, “there's no way I’m giving up this friendship for something so trivial”

And then, he swivelled onto his feet and walked away, down the corridor, leaving Tia gaping after him in part surprise and shock at his sudden confession. He said it like he meant it to be so much more, as if there was a deeper meaning woven through his words, and that the only way to decipher it would be to analyze every little speck of detail. 

 

What the heck. 

---

 

Second chapter is up! What are your thoughts? 
I wrote this, knowing that it would annoy certain people because the characters are being really immature and childish, but when you think of it, most human beings live their life that way. They always hide, always try to figure things out on their own, and most of all, they make judgments without even understanding. That's what I wanted to emphasize through this story and I hope that the message gets through :) 
Thank you for reading and for supporting this story! I'm really grateful to all :) xx 

-nutmeggu