‘Fine. Let’s do it. But promise me, you will work hard and you won't let anything bring you down. Show me your very best.’

“I promise. I will show those people who look down on us that our success does not depend on one particular member but on all members. As a group”

------------------------------------

FEBRUARY 2020

Jiwon is on his bed his mind travelling back to months before. They were standing nervously on a Music Show stage to promote their 7th album. They were afraid to see the fans reaction. Will they love them? Will they like the new song? Are their voices good enough?

However, they realize their fear was groundless as the music started. Their fans will always be there for them. During the performance, all they could see was yellow sea and hear the fans chanting. Nothing else. It was a successful comeback. They proved to haters Sechskies won’t die with one member's departure. It didn’t affect Sechskies popularity at all.

But it did affect Jiwon.

A lot.

No more smile to look for on stage that could relax him in an instant and sooth his exhaustion right away. It made their activities twice harder for Jiwon.

Jiwon got his phone and refreshed his IG timeline.

Another post from Yoonji.

kang.s.h.0222 Hawai!!!

Oppa loves Hawaii.
He said this was where everything began. Sechskies started in Hawaii and he also has a lot of beautiful memories there. That’s why after his contract ended, he moved to Hawaii. Besides, he thought Hawaii has more experts for his problem and people will recognise him less there. The treatments will be in better hands and can be carried on privately.

The treatments were painful. I saw people crying and complaining during the treatments but Oppa never said a word. He always looked vibrant. They said people in his condition will usually lose their hope and spirit but not him. “What gives you this much strength?” they asked.

"A picture of me and my members in stage facing a sea of Yellowkies. A hope to come back to them."

Oppa’s love for you made him fought so hard. So please don’t hate him or blame him for leaving you this way. He only wants you to see the best of him. That’s another reason the truth was kept from you. He fought hard to come back to you. He just lost his battle.

This is my last post. Thank you everyone who always trust him. Please continue to love and pray for him. #sechskies #kangsunghoon #love #for #yellkie

The caption is accompanied by a picture of Sunghoon sitting at the terrace of a wooden beach house in the middle of the night. Staring at the sea of stars above him.

Jiwon used to love that combination. Beach, wooden house and starry night. It’s not that he hates those now, he still loves them. They just bring back a memory he wishes to forget.

----------------------------------

SEPTEMBER 2019

“One Americano please!” Jiwon says his order to the male barista in his favourite Coffee Shop in town.

‘Its $3.5 sir,’ the barista takes the payment and Jiwon walks to sit at the nearest table. He takes out his phone then opens his IG account. Director Yang and s just posted the teaser for their upcoming concert tour but he doesn’t feel like promoting. He is exhausted. Both physically and mentally.

They just finished promoting their new album a few days ago and their company gave them 3 weeks off before they start their concert tour. They need to rest well and he needs to take his mind off Sunghoon who’s been occupying his mind the past 6 months.

So, here he is at his favourite place in the world.

His second home.

Hawaii.

Jiwon decided to spend a few days in Hawaii before recording his new variety show next week. But he regretted it as soon as he landed on this island. This place reminds him of Sunghoon a lot. Even this Coffee Shop. He and Sunghoon used to hang out here after school. Everyday. This is the place where Sunghoon started his addiction to …

‘Iced Americano with two pumps of syrup please,’

“Yeah, right, iced Americano with two pumps of syrup,” Jiwon is mumbling to himself when he heard someone ordered Sunghoon’s favourite drink. He froze as he realized something.

That voice…

The voice he had been longing to hear. The voice he used to hear every day. The voice that can make him smile in an instant. The voice that he can never get sick of.

His voice.

Is he hearing things because he misses him badly? He pinches his hand hard just to leave a red mark on it.

It’s not a dream.

Jiwon turns his head towards the counter slowly. Afraid the voice’s owner will vanish by his sudden gaze. His body stiffens and his heart starts pounding uncontrollably when he sees a familiar figure. Jiwon can’t believe his eyes. He tries to say something but no words escape from his mouth. He can only stare until the other person turns around and finally sees him.

‘Jiwon Hyung??’

“Sunghoon-ah…”

***

They are sitting face to face, staring at each other without saying a word. Both still in shock from the sudden encounter. Jiwon observes the person before him. He is still as beautiful as he remembers but he looks pale and a lot skinnier. He cut his hair short and dyed it to its original colour. Maybe to make it easier to take care of. Silver hair is pretty bothersome to maintain after all.

‘Congratulation on your comeback Hyung. You guys did a really good job,’ the younger one breaks the silence after a few minutes.

‘I’m so proud of you,’ Jiwon can see a smile form on Sunghoon’s face as he says the words. A smile of pride and happiness. But Jiwon still can’t find a word to say. He is too confused about how he feels right now. His yearn for this person is struggling against his pain and anger.

‘You’re still mad at me, aren’t you?’ Sunghoon feels the hesitation from Jiwon to respond to him.

‘Come with me Hyung, I’ll show you something then I’ll tell you everything,’

***

“Yah, how dare you go there by yourself if you know the after effect will be this bad? What would happen if you didn’t meet me this morning? Do you think you can drive home in this condition? Do you want to kill yourself?” Sunghoon smiles weakly hearing Jiwon’s nagging. But he is not complaining. He misses him so much that he is willing to hear the nagging all day.

Jiwon is driving Sunghoon home after finishing his regular visit. Sunghoon hates these visits, but they said this is the only possible treatment for his condition. He started with twice a month but as it is not getting better, he comes once a week now. Usually Yoonji or his mom comes with him but they have work to do in Korea and wont be coming back after two weeks. So he went by himself.

Sunghoon’s adjusting his chair, trying to get comfortable but he knows its useless. He wont feel comfortable for the next few days or at least until tomorrow. So he gives up playing with his chair, he opens the window and closed his eyes. Hoping the fresh air will reduce the dizziness and nausea he got from the treatment’s side effects.

“How are you feeling right now? Feeling better? Do you want me to pull over and get you some water? Or coffee maybe?” nagging Jiwon is turning into caring Jiwon when he sees his beloved dongsaeng not feeling well.

‘No. Let’s just go home Hyung,’ Sunghoon says with his eyes closed.

“Fine, just try to sleep, ok? I’ll wake you up when we arrive,” Jiwon let go of the stirring wheel and starts playing with Sunghoon’s hair. Sunghoon opens his eyes and smile when he hears Jiwon words.

‘Hyung, you don’t even know where my home is. Do you?’

“Ah, you're right,” slightly embarrassed, Jiwon turns on the car’s GPS.

“Tell me your address,”

‘Do you remember the wooden beach house we rent on our last days here Hyung? We stayed there before we went back to Korea to prepare for our debut. I stay at that house now.'

Jiwon nods and smiles. Of course he remembers. Sunghoon loves the beach. That’s why instead of staying at their house, they rented a small yet beautiful beach house to appreciate their last days in Hawaii. They played at the beach all day. Swimming, playing ball, eating watermelon and ice cream and of course, watching the sunset.

On their last day, they went back to the beach house almost at midnight after spending hours of star gazing. Lying at the beach, side by side with the dongsaeng he loves the most, and watching millions of stars before their eyes is Jiwon’s favourite part of the day. And apparently, Sunghoon’s too.

‘Hyung, thank you for today. I really had fun. The stars were so beautiful. I wish I could watch them again with you one more time before I die,’ Sunghoon said as they’re lying on bed, trying to fall asleep after a tiring but fun day.

***

They finally arrived after an hour driving. Jiwon wakes Sunghoon up and helps him to his room. He lies him down on the bed and wraps him with a blanket. Then he kisses his forehead before heading out to the kitchen.

‘Where are you going Hyung?’ Sunghoon asks.

“I’ll make you dinner. Just rest, Ok?”

‘You don’t have to. I don’t feel like eating,’

“But you have to eat, Sunghoon-ah,”

‘Trust me Hyung, it will just end up in the toilet. I’ve been through this for months. This water is enough to keep me from dehydration tonight,” Sunghoon tilts his head to bottles of water on the table.

‘Can’t you just stay here? You won’t go back to your hotel right? Please stay with me tonight. I miss you,’ he added.

“Fine,” Jiwo