Realization
My Darling
Eunjung sat curled to the corner. She hadn’t moved a bit since her small encounter with Jangwoo.
As much as she wanted to leave the bathroom and lock herself into her bedroom, she feared that she would have to face Jangwoo, who sat in the living room, trying to figure out what had happened.
Would he remember?
Eunjung didn’t know. She didn’t want to know. Either way, she knew herself that her marriage was failing, but this was the last straw. After the events that occurred the night before, why would she even want to stay in this broken marriage?
Eunjung felt lost. At this point, she didn’t know who to turn to, who to call. As much as she hated Jangwoo at that very moment, as much as the look in his eyes from that night frightened her greatly, Jangwoo was still Jangwoo. He was the man that Eunjung had fallen in love with, the man that she indeed was still in love with. But even she knew that sometimes, feelings weren’t enough to keep two people together. She also knew that if she were to turn to any of her friends about the night before, or even her mother, it would just create a bigger mess. Eunjung did not want to be questioned, to be pitied, and have to repeat her story numerous times to her loved ones.
At the same time, she questioned what built Jangwoo up to this point. What was it that made him stumble home drunk? What was it that made him come to her, all of the sudden, to confess the feelings he held back the entire time? Maybe hearing “I love you” more often would have made a difference. Maybe hearing it wouldn’t have resulted in Jangwoo’s actions if it weren’t for the liquid courage he had consumed hours before. Maybe if they had just talked before, this wouldn’t have happened. Maybe.
But now, now it was too late.
What happened could never be undone.
Eunjung knew it.
Jangwoo knew it.
They both knew it.
Jangwoo had indeed his wife.
***
Jangwoo stood outside of the bathroom door, contemplating on whether or not he should just turn the knob. He was in shock, as his mind still refused to register what had happened. He knew it was his fault, he knew he would have to face the consequences, but even so, he wouldn’t want to face the consequences if it meant a final separation.
Jangwoo felt selfish. Despite the way he had treated her before, even prior to the event that occurred only a night ago, Eunjung was his wife. She was his soul mate, his missing piece, his. As possessive as he seemed, Jangwoo couldn’t bear to lose the love of his life.
Guilt struck him as he hadn’t processed it in his head sooner. He refused to. At the time, Jangwoo thought that distancing himself was the right thing. Never had he intended to harm Eunjung in any way. Never had he planned to hurt her. Never had he planned to create a void in their marriage.
It was upsetting for him to only realize this now.
Still, he couldn’t blame her for feeling the way she did now. He understood that no one should have ever dealt with the mistreatment Eunjung had to go through, and the night before, confirmed that. Hell, he knew that if he were Eunjung, he’d end things off. But Jangwoo was hopeful. He needed Eunjung, and was ashamed that it took him only up until now for him to realize how much he had truly depended on his wife. However, he was determined to win back the love and trust he had already lost.
Gathering the courage to turn the knob, his feet stayed glued to the ground as the door had opened by itself.
Now standing face to face with his possible ex-wife, Eunjung looked up at Jangwoo, tears glossing over her eyes.
“Eunjung I-”
“I can’t… Do this anymore.”
He couldn’t believe it.
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