34.

From Your Style to Your Smile.

"What?" I asked him. It was real? What we had was real?! So he did love me? "What do you mean?" I asked again. "Nevermind." He said walking away from me. "No! What did you mean when you said it was all real?! That it wasn't all a lie?!" I asked pulling on his hand. "Just go home." He said walking to sit in the living room. "No! You can't just say something like that to me and expect me to just walk away!!!" I said following him. He wasn't facing me, "Tell me!" I said to him. No words. "What was a lie?!" I asked. Nothing  "Do you love me?!" I asked. He faced me, "Of course." He said. So he loves me. "Don't you think you owe me an explanation then?" I asked. He sighed before speaking, "You were never a game." He said. I was never a game? "What do you mean?! Didn't Bom ask you to play me or whatever it was she asked you to do?" I asked bringing out the words that had been hidden down deep inside. "No. Not like that. You weren't a game, ever." He said. "Isn't she, wasn't she your fiance?!" I asked. "No...yeah." He said. "What?! So was she or was she not your fiance? Did you ask her to marry you!?" I asked at his confusing words. "...I did propose to her." So he did love her. "She and I dated for a few years and I thought she was the one. So I did propse to her." I don't know why but those words got to me. "But you have to understand, that was all before you, before I met you, before I fell in love with you." He said. I looked at him not knowing my feelings, I was feeling every emotion and I was confused. I stood there, in front of him, not knowing, not understanding. "She declined my proposal. She said no. After that she left and did her own thing and I did mine, that's when I met you." He said. "...So you didn't get in a relationship with me because she asked you too?" I asked. "No, she was long gone. I got into a relationship because I thought you were a weird girl. I didn't know I'd end up falling in love with you so much. You were the one who taught me what the word, love meant." He said. What are these foreign words coming out of his mouth saying?! Why can't I grasp any of it? "Then why...why tell me I was a game if I wasn't? Why tell me the day after I completely gave myself to you? Why tell Bom everything? How is that possible if she had been gone all that time? If you asked me, it seems planned." I asked. "...I hadn't planned on that night between us, how does anyone plan something like that? It happened because we loved each other not because of anything else. It just happened that Bom dropped by after you left. I was not expecting her, she dropped by and had a whole bunch of stuff on the both of us, pictures, evidence, everything. She told me I had to break up with you, she told me she was my fiance and that she wanted me back." He said. "So you did as she said because you loved her." I said to him, if he had loved me why did he do as she said? "I guess, in a sense." He replied. "But it wasn't love completely...I have known Bom for a long time, I care about her and a small part of me always will." He said. What? "I don't see how any of this is better..." I said without knowing. 

I got up, I was feeling stuffy and I needed air. Everything was too overwhelming, I needed out and I needed it now. I walked away from him, towards the door. Seunghyun grabbed my hands and pulled me into a hug. "I did it because I felt pity for her and because she she said if I didn't let you go she'd make sure you'd have a miserable life. Knowing Bom, she is capable of doing so. I couldn't let her do anything to you. I loved you and I needed to protect you. I lied to you for you. I know that doesn't justify what I did but what could I have done? It was all done so quickly and I had no time to think so I told her I would break it off with you. I went along with whatever she wanted, whatever she said, whatever. I know what I did was horrible and I know it's unacceptable. But I love you." He said pulling me back and looking at me. I can't, I just can't. I tried to back away but, "Everything about you makes me love you even more. Everything you have done for me, for us even though I did what I did...Haeri, I'm sorry." He said kneeling down holding my hands. "...It's too much." I said taking my hands out of his. I looked at my hands and noticed blood. Blood? I look down at Seunghyun's hand and one of them was red and bloody. I looked at the wall that now had cracks. I grabbed a wet towel and made my way back to Seunghyun. I knelt down, took his hand and cleaned the blood. I could tell his eyes were on me but I just kept looking down at his hand. He caught my eyes and I was about to get up and said, "I really do love you. You mean everything to me." I had no words. I hadn't processed everything yet. I got up, "Don't go. Stay with me. Don't you love me?" He asked. "...I don't know." I said walking out his door into the dark night.

It was Saturday and I was working the whole day, I was closing tonight. After work ended I walked outside and walked to the river. I took a seat on the ledge and thought about everything. Last night and everything that came with it ran through my head all morning long. I thought carefully and tried to remember everything he had told me. So what's the conclusion? So he broke up with me, not because I was a game, not because he had played me, not because I meant nothing to him, not because he didn't love me. He broke up with me because Bom, the girl he once proposed to told him to, that if he didn't she would make my life miserable. He broke up with me because he loved me. The first thing that popped into my head was, he does love you! Everything you two had together was real! So it's not as bad, he wasn't a bad man! That thought only lasted a few minutes as thoughts of, why didn't he just say no to Bom? Why didn't he just stay by my side and protect me? Did he not think I was capable of protecting myself? Was I not strong enough to go against her? Was I not worth it to keep? To fight against Bom for? One day, not even, he had done what she said in less than a day. He was convinced by her in less than one day to break up with me. Doesn't that mean he thought our relationship wasn't strong enough? If he really loved me, wouldn't he have fought for me? It's all too much, my feelings are all over the place.

Just as I got up to go home he is standing there. "Haeri..." His voice called out to me. "Please don't talk to me." I said walking past him. "How long do I have to wait?" He asked grabbing my hand. "...Forever. As of right now, forever. So please don't come see me until I have it all figured out." I said to him walking away. Seunghyun grabbed my hand again and pulled me into a hug. I stood in his arms not moving, not pushing him away, not running away. I was clueless and so I stood there in his arms. "Then forever I will wait." He said. I looked up at him. "I will wait forever for you." He said bringing his hand up to my cheek. "I love you." He said before walking away in one direction while I in another. My feelings are too jumbled up right now to really know what I feel. With everything he told me I really don't know what to think. I love him, of course I do but I don't think my love alone will be able to take it all in. I needed time and I don't know long it was going to take, all I know is I don't want to see him.

 

 

 

 

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Aside from the cliche-ness this turned into, sorry for taking so long!!

 

 

 

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tahlima #1
Forgot to subcribe in the past and spent about two days trying to find it as i counldnt remember the title.
Popkorn17 #2
Chapter 40: Sequel please~
sarachan #3
Chapter 40: omggg this story is so good :D you're very creative. i liked it (Y)
pipsqueak110 #4
Chapter 40: I really liked this! the ending was good but I little part of me wished they ended together, but well see right? Ill be looking out for the sequel, that's if you haven't started it yet lol
anitaichwana #5
I love your own. I really want more. Just want the next of this story. I want the '2nd' well.
miamoreva #6
Chapter 40: Noo why do they have to be apart :(
Zanchan88
#7
Chapter 40: Wow. Just finished reading it. Waiting for the sequel!
hyunhee0692
#8
Chapter 40: really love this story!! can't wait for the sequel ♥
aylinn #9
Chapter 40: New reader, I took some time reading this cus I don´t have much free time, but I have to say this I really did LOVE your story, the plot was amazing, the way you described everything, the felings, it all felt so true!
I totally got why it ended how it ended
I´m totally waiting for the sequel ♥
ellipse
#10
Chapter 40: Honestly I didn't want them to end up together yet.
I'm glad you ended it like this. It's not cliche now. XD