A/N: This is loosely inspired by Have I Seen You Before and In Which Ignorance is Bliss. I've wanted to write an AU where one of them is an idol and the other is a student for a while.

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Jessica twirls her pencil a few times as she looks down at her stats problem. It’s not becoming any clearer the harder she stares at it, unfortunately. If anything, that just makes the symbols start to blur together, until she can’t tell whether she’s looking at sigma or theta.

She’s disturbed from her intense studying (read: boredom) when Sooyoung plops herself in front of her. “Oh my god, have you heard the news?”

Jessica gives her a blank look. “What news?”

“Tiffany Hwang is coming to our school!”

“Who’s Tiffany Hwang?”

Sooyoung gapes. “You don’t know who she is?”

“If I did, would I be asking you?”

“She’s, like, the most famous idol in the country. Her face is over all the billboards and fried chicken commercials—”

“—of course you would notice the fried chicken commercials—”

“—know you’re oblivious about life but—”

“—just because I’m not a crazy fangirl like you—”

“Did you hear the news about Tiffany?!” Yuri yells, running over. “I can’t believe she’s coming here!”

“I know!” Sooyoung yells back. “I’m so excited I just—”

Jessica takes this as her opportunity to walk away. She needs to get some new friends.

 

The one silver lining about her stats course is that Taeyeon is also taking it. Taeyeon complains about how Jessica always asks her for notes because she misses half the lectures to sleep, and Jessica just replies that that’s what friends are for. On that note, she still needs to get notes from Taeyeon from the last lecture she slept through didn’t make it to.

From: Jessica
are you still at the library?

From: Taeyeon
yep

From: Jessica
why don’t you just move there

From: Taeyeon
i tried but they kicked me out

From: Jessica
lol how dare they
are you at your usual desk? i’ll come find you

From: Taeyeon
>< u need stat notes again don’t u

From: Jessica
you read my mind!

From: Taeyeon
i’m gonna cut u off one of these days

From: Jessica
guess i’d better enjoy my remaining days
i’m heading over. cya soon

“I really am going to cut you off one of these days,” Taeyeon says, but she’s already pushing her notebook over.

Jessica smiles. “You’re the best, Tae.”

Taeyeon snorts. “You said this to Yuri when you had philosophy together and you needed her notes.”

Jessica waves that aside. “Anyway, I’m going to cancel Yuri. Sooyoung, too. They’re too…” She wrinkles her nose.

“Why, what happened?” Taeyeon asks, although she doesn’t look very surprised. This is far from the first time that Jessica has complained about Sooyoung and Yuri, especially Sooyoung.

“Do you know who Tiffany Hwang is?”

“Uh, yeah. Doesn’t everyone?”

Jessica frowns. “I don’t.”

Taeyeon chuckles. “I’m not surprised.”

“You just said—”

“You don’t know a lot of things,” Taeyeon says, and Jessica scowls at her. “Why are you randomly bringing up Tiffany Hwang?”

“Are you a fan of hers?” Jessica demands, wanting to know that not all her friends are part of Tiffany Hwang’s fanclub.

“Uh, no?” Taeyeon looks confused. “Why?”

Jessica throws up her hands. “I got bombarded by Sooyoung and Yuri about her.”

Taeyeon laughs. “You too?”

“They went after you as well?” Jessica mimes hiding behind her. “Save me from them, Taeng.”

“I can still see you, you know,” comes a dry voice. “You picked a bad person to take cover behind.”

“I didn’t ask to be dragged into this,” Taeyeon says plaintively.

Jessica points a finger accusatively at Yuri. “Why are you stalking me?”

“I’m not stalking you. I came to find Taeyeon to ask about our group project.” Yuri rolls her eyes. “Not everything is about you, Sica.”

“I bet she thinks differently,” Taeyeon says, giving a cheeky grin in reply to Jessica’s look of deepest betrayal.

That’s it, she’s cancelling all of them.

 

You know the phrase “keep your eyes on the road”? Jessica doesn’t believe in it. She’d rather keep her eyes on her phone while allowing her peripheral vision to guide her when she’s walking. This approach usually works fine but on this particular occasion she’s spent sprawling when someone who obviously also doesn’t follow that motto crashes into her.

When Jessica thought that she’d like to run into some more people, she didn’t mean that literally.

“Watch where you’re going, will you?” she snaps.

“You were the one on your phone!” the girl who ran into her says in a volume that makes Jessica wince.

“I’m a master at walking while on my phone. You’re the one who crashed into me.”

“You—” The girl looks incredulous, like nobody has ever spoken to her like this before. “I can’t believe this,” she mutters under her breath in English.

“You know, it’s not nice to talk about other people just because you think they can’t understand you,” Jessica says, also in English.

The girl looks at her with wide eyes. “You can speak English?” she asks, sounding so excited that it’s like she discovered Jessica is her long lost sister or something.

“Um, yeah.” Jessica takes a closer look at her, and the girl shrinks under her gaze. She’s pretty, with big eyes and high cheekbones, her long, dark hair pulled into a loose ponytail. Jessica feels like she looks kind of familiar, but she can’t place where she saw her before. “Have I seen you before in ASA?”

“In what?”

“The American Students Association. I go to the meetings sometimes.” When they have free food. “Have you ever been there?”

“Um, no.” The girl gives her an indecipherable look. “I’m new here.”

“Oh, I guess that’s why you don’t know where you’re going and ran into me.”

“You were the one who—” she starts indignantly, but there’s some kind of noise nearby that makes her turn her head.

Jessica squints and sees what looks like a crowd of students looking around, like they’re searching for something. Maybe it’s open house day – she always feels nostalgic watching the pipsqueaks high school students touring the university, all excited for what they think is a new adventure and what she wants to tell them is the beginning of the end.

The girl abruptly pales, like she had seen a ghost. “I have to go.”

“Uh, okay? Watch yourself, don’t run into anyone else.”

If she has a reply for Jessica, she’s gone too quickly to say it.

 

Sometimes Jessica wishes that she still lived in residence just so she could have a cafeteria right downstairs. It’s really too much trouble to cook, especially when hours of preparation and cooking, followed by more time spent doing dishes, only equate to a meal, and often in her case, a borderline edible meal.

“I met this weird girl today,” she says when she’s meeting up with Taeyeon for lunch.

“So you finally looked in a mirror?” Taeyeon asks, stealing a fry off Jessica’s plate.

Jessica scowls, taking one of Taeyeon’s chicken wings as retribution. “Ha ha, you’re so funny. Did you ever consider doing stand-up comedy?”

“Yeah, but I needed to stand on a stool for them to see me.”

Jessica laughs. “You can stand on Sooyoung’s shoulders. She can be your giant, bumbling assistant.”

Taeyeon snorts as she’s taking a sip of juice, almost spraying Jessica. “Tell her that.”

“I will, but I don’t want to be around her or Yuri these days.” Jessica wrinkles her nose. “All I hear about is Tiffany Hwang this, Tiffany Hwang that. You would think she’s the second coming or something.”

“You’re really not a fan of hers, huh?”

“I’m neither a fan nor a hater. I just don’t get the big deal. She’s just a—what , actress? Idol?”

“Singer.”

“So idol,” Jessica says. “Half the idols out there can’t sing anyway.”

“That’s true,” Taeyeon agrees. “So what happened with this weird girl you met today?”

“Well, I was just strolling along when this girl barged into me…”

 

Jessica grabs a croissant from the café in the humanities building (they have Nutella-filled ones now and she’s rather unhealthily addicted to them), and she’s looking up the bus schedule on her way out when she almost bumps into someone.

“Sorry,” she says instinctively, only to be greeted by smiling eyes that are slightly familiar.

“I get a ‘sorry’ this time?” asks the girl who barrelled into her.

“Actually, I take it back.”

She laughs, eyes curving into crescents and teeth flashing. Jessica finds herself staring for a beat too long.

“Are you heading to the café?” Jessica asks. “It’s closing in ten minutes, so you should hurry.”

“Oh, I’m not hungry.” Her stomach lets out a loud growl, and Jessica raises an eyebrow at her. “Okay, I kind of am but—there are too many people there.”

“What, do you have social anxiety?” The girl doesn’t reply. Jessica holds out the paper bag toward her. “Here, do you like croissants?”

“I can’t—”

“It’s fine, I ate earlier, that’s just a snack anyway.” Jessica shoves it more insistently at the girl. “Take it, really, it’s fine.”

“Thank you,” she says, accepting it.

“I hope you like Nutella.”

“I love it!” Another one of those smiles. Jessica keeps her eyes averted this time.

“You owe me one.”

“I’ll write you an IOU,” she says wryly. “What name should I put on it?”

“Jessica. What name should I add to my long list of slaves?”

The girl laughs again, but she doesn’t reply right away, staring at Jessica with a strangely heavy look in her eyes. “Do you really not know?” she asks, voice abruptly sharper.

“Uh, know what?”

“I’ve fallen for this act before,” she says, face turned away, almost like she’s talking to herself.

“What act?” Jessica asks, genuinely bewildered. “Okay look, if you’re one of those investigators for that econ exam cheating scandal, I didn’t know anything about it. I wasn’t even in the Facebook group.”

She laughs and her face softens. “I’m Stephanie,” she says, offering her hand.

Jessica takes it. “Hi,” she says lamely.

“Hi,” Stephanie says. “Don’t mind my rambling earlier. I’m just—”

“Weird?”

Stephanie grins. “Yeah, sure. Weird.”

“It’s okay,” Jessica tells her. “I’ll accept you in all your weirdness.”

Stephanie stares at her for another moment, and then breaks into one of her smiles again. “Thanks, Jessi.”

Jessi? Well, okay then.

 

Stephanie had insisted that they go somewhere more private, and so they end up in one of the empty classrooms in the old languages building that nobody ever goes to.

Jessica dusts off a chair and takes a seat. “So you said you’re new here, right?”

Stephanie sits down next to her. “Mm hm.”

“Did you transfer from another university? You don’t look like a first year.”

Stephanie laughs. “Are you saying I look too old to be one?”

“No, you don’t look old. You look about my age, so if you’re old then I am too.”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-one.”

“Oh, me too!” Jessica notices that Stephanie has this tendency to sound excited about the smallest of things. It’s oddly endearing. “We can speak informally to each other then.”

“You can still call me unnie if you want,” Jessica says. “You can even call me sunbae.”

“I call enough people sunbae,” Stephanie says with a laugh that falters at Jessica’s questioning look. “I try to follow honorifics carefully. I got into some trouble with my language when I first moved here.”

“From California?”

Stephanie smiles. “You can tell from my accent, huh?”

“Yeah. You should come to ASA sometimes. There are lots of people from Cali.”

Stephanie’s smile fades. “I don’t know if I want to go to a club meeting.”

“Hey, if you have social anxiety, you should work on it, you know?” Jessica had been joking about it earlier, but now she wonders if Stephanie does have that, or something similar. “Make small steps.”

“Like what?” Stephanie asks, smile returning.

“Well, you’re talking to me, that’s a start.”

“You’re easy to talk to,” Stephanie says, and Jessica’s cheeks warm. “I’m really glad I met you, Jessi.”

“I’m”—Jessica clears —“glad too.”

“Give me your phone?” Stephanie asks, and Jessica hands it over, watching as Stephanie sends a text and a resulting ping comes from her pocket. “There, now we can meet up instead of just running into each other.”

“I don’t think I can handle running into you anymore. Next time I’ll probably fall and break something.”

Stephanie giggles. “I can’t have that happen.” She glances at her watch. “I have class in half an hour. I have to go.”

“Half an hour? How far is your class?”

“Oh, I take a—scenic route. And I want to make sure I get there early so I can, you know, get a good seat.”

“Right,” Jessica says. She can barely bother to get to her classes at all; punctuality is a luxury she can’t bother to concern herself with.

Stephanie waves. “See you later, Jessi!”

“Bye,” Jessica says, wondering if their encounters will always end with Stephanie running off.

 

From: Krystal
i heard that tiffany hwang is going to ur uni

Jessica actually groans out loud when she reads Krystal’s text. Is Tiffany Hwang the only subject in the world to talk about now? Jessica heard about an exchange to England from one of her classmates. Maybe she’ll go there, that sounds like a nice place away from Tiffany and her over-zealous fans.

From: Jessica
don’t tell me you’re one of her fangirls

From: Krystal
i was just making an observation. way to jump to conclusions

 

From: Jessica
i’m already surrounded by two members of her fanclub
trust me, i’m not jumping

From: Krystal
hey i’m not her fan but it would be cool to meet an actual idol when ur just on campus

From: Jessica
i don’t even know what she looks like so i wouldn’t even recognize her if i saw her

From: Krystal
u don’t know what she looks like???

Jessica’s eyes are getting tired from how often she’s been rolling them. Wow, they must be out of practice; she clearly needs to retrain them. She doesn’t even know what her classmates or her professors look like – why would she know what some random idol looks like?

From: Jessica
is that a cardinal sin?

From: Krystal
then again u don’t know anything

From: Jessica
i know you’re a brat

From: Krystal
a brat u love

From: Jessica
unfortunately that is true

From: Krystal
u should at least search up what she looks like
trust me, she’s very pretty

From: Jessica
i’ve seen pretty people before

Like Stephanie. Oh wait, where did that thought come from?

From: Krystal
yeah i know. u see me all the time

From: Jessica
unfortunately

From: Krystal
<3

From: Jessica
ilu you brat

Jessica’s smiling when she closes her texting app. A part of her briefly contemplates looking Tiffany up, but her phone beeps a low battery warning at her and she dismisses that notion and plugs it into her charger.

Maybe she’ll search her up later. It’s not like her eyes are suffering just because she’s never seen Tiffany before. Frankly speaking, she’d be perfectly fine if she never saw her in her life.

 

Jessica finds a huge throng of people in front of her psychology classroom, so many of them that she can’t even see the door.

She taps Jinki on the shoulder, who she sees standing near the back. “What’s with this huge crowd?”

“Apparently Tiffany Hwang is in the class before ours.”

Jessica rolls her eyes so hard that her sockets complain. “Seriously? Honestly, is this even a university anymore or just a huge fanclub?”

“I guess that’s what happens when a celebrity attends your school.”

“Why do they even bother? Can they even have an education that way?”

Jinki shrugs. “Beats me. Good thing we’re not celebrities.”

“Yeah,” Jessica says, cracking a smile at the thought. Her as a celebrity? Ha.

Tiffany must come out, because suddenly the students are surging forward and the air is full of screams and shouts. Mostly there’s just indecipherable screeching, but Jessica manages to make out some words.

“FANY!”

“TIFFANY!”

“I LOVE YOU!”

She almost gets crushed in the ensuing stampede, and she doesn’t even catch a glimpse of Tiffany. Man, these people are insane.

Jinki holds his bag closer to his body. “Good thing we’re not in that section.”

“Yeah.” Jessica exhales. “I would rather not get stampeded to death by crazy fans.”

“You’d rather overdose on energy drinks instead?”

“That was one time, Lee Jinki!” She’s sworn off Red Bull ever since, thank you very much. And it wasn’t her fault she had three finals in two days. Whoever schedules exams is clearly a sadist.

“Okay, okay, come on, we’d better go if our professor is still alive after that.”

Their professor is not only alive and well but turns out to be a big fan of Tiffany and spends the first ten minutes of class gushing about how polite and well-behaved she is, how she had clearly done all her reading and then some, how she—

Jessica falls asleep and Jinki has to nudge her awake. That’s it, she’s transferring universities.

 

From: Stephanie
hey jessi!! do you want to grab lunch? ^^

From: Jessica
sure. where?

From: Stephanie
somewhere without a lot of people… is that ok with you? ://

From: Jessica
you rly don’t like ppl, do you?

From: Stephanie
you’re a person, right? :P i like you

From: Jessica
no i’m not a person i’m a goddess

From: Stephanie
that would explain a lot

From: Jessica
like what?

From: Stephanie
um nvm, forget i said anything
soooooo – lunch??? my treat :D

From: Jessica
you don’t know how much i can eat

From: Stephanie
trust me i have a friend who can eat a family’s worth of food in one meal
i’m used to it

From: Jessica
i have a friend like that too
you should introduce yours to mine

From: Stephanie
haha maybe one day

From: Jessica
i know just the place. do you like noodles?

From: Stephanie
i love them!!!

From: Jessica
okay meet me at noodle shack
it’s at the back of the campus plaza
is 1 good?

From: Stephanie
yep sounds great! ^^

From: Jessica
it’s a date

From: Jessica
cool, cya

From: Stephanie
it’s a date! ;DD

Jessica’s face looks rather like that emoticon, and she sends a simple :) back although her smile is much broader.

 

When Stephanie finds Jessica at her booth in the back, she’s wearing a dark hoodie with the hood pulled up over a cap and sunglasses. It takes Jessica a moment to realize it’s her.

“You look like you’re hiding from someone,” Jessica says jokingly.

Stephanie’s laugh sounds airy. “Do you mind if we switch seats?”

“Uh, sure?” Jessica stands up and grabs her bag off the back of the chair.

“Sorry,” Stephanie says, moving into the seat Jessica had occupied, which faces the kitchen instead of the front of the restaurant. She looks around before pulling off her sunglasses and hood, keeping her cap on. Jessica has an urge to turn it so its brim doesn’t cover her face, although she doesn’t act on it.

“No problem. Take a look at the menu.”

Stephanie takes it, but keeps her eyes on Jessica. “What do you recommend?”

“I like the spicy seafood soup noodles.”

Stephanie scrunches up her nose. “I can’t handle spicy food. I’m not good with hot things.”

“Good thing you don’t have a problem with me.”

Stephanie laughs, eyes disappearing into crescents. “You are a goddess, right? It’s a good thing I didn’t, like, turn into stone when I looked at you.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure I’d find some way to restore you to your human form. I’d kind of miss you if you turned into stone.”

Stephanie smiles. “Would you?”

Jessica suddenly finds dry. “I would,” she manages to get out.

“I’d miss you too,” Stephanie says. “Also, if you ran into me when I’m a block of stone, you’d really hurt yourself.”

Jessica bursts into laughter. “This is what you worry about?”

Stephanie’s face pinks. “I’m concerned about you, okay? With your coordination—”

“With my coordination? You were the one who ran into me.”

Stephanie shakes her head with a chuckle. “I swear we’re going to be arguing over this until we’re old ladies.”

“Maybe then you’ll finally accept the truth that you were the one who ran into me.”

“Okay, Jessi,” Stephanie says indulgently, patting her hand. “Sure I was.”

“You definitely were, Steph.” Stephanie stares at her until she falters. “Do you not like to be called that? I can—”

“No, no, I like it.” Stephanie smiles. “Nobody calls me Steph. Everyone just calls me Fa—”

“Yeah?” Jessica prompts when she suddenly breaks off.

“Nobody calls me Steph,” she repeats. “I like it.”

“Well, now you can’t say nobody calls you that anymore because—I’m a body.”

Stephanie laughs, bright and so infectious that Jessica finds the corners of tugging up too. “Yes, you are. So – youbody, we should probably order.”

“I’m going to get the spicy seafood noodles.”

“Okay, I think I’ll get the braised chicken one.” Stephanie hesitates. “Do you think you can order for me?”

“If I order for you, I’m ordering the spicy chicken noodles.”

“Jessi,” Stephanie whines.

“Okay, okay, fine. Put those puppy dog eyes away, geez.”

Stephanie tugs her cap over her face and looks down when Jessica calls the waiter over, and once he leaves she looks back up.

“Is he the one you’re hiding from?” Jessica asks.

“No, I’m just…” Stephanie bites her lip. “I get nervous around certain people.”

“Not me?”

Stephanie smiles. “Not you.”

Jessica returns the smile, and then reaches forward and rotates Stephanie’s cap so it’s placed the way a snapback should be. “There,” she says, satisfied. “That’s better.”

“Was that bothering you?”

“I couldn’t see your eyes,” Jessica says. “Besides, that’s a snapback, you have to wear it with the brim back. Otherwise they would call it a snapfront.”

Stephanie bursts into laughter, swatting Jessica in the side.

“Ow, why are you hitting me?”

“You deserved it,” Stephanie tells her, ignoring her indignant expression. “Snapfront? Oh my god, I’m remembering that one forever.”

“What, do you have a dictionary of my vernacular or something?”

“Vernacular?” Stephanie repeats. “What does that mean?”

“It’s like—the language you use in a particular region or with a particular group of people.”

“Vernacular,” Stephanie says, carefully, like the word will slip away from her. “Yeah, I’m going to remember your vernacular.” She gives that eye smile of hers that Jessica always has to remind herself not to stare at. “Teach me more, seonsaengnim.”

“Only if you stop calling me that,” Jessica says, and Stephanie laughs again.

If Stephanie will remember Jessica’s vernacular forever, then Jessica will remember Stephanie’s smile forever.

 

From: Taeyeon
i saw u w a girl earlier

From: Jessica
wow taeng are you stalking me now

From: Taeyeon
i hv better things to do w my time thx

From: Jessica
what better things could there be

From: Taeyeon
do u know who the girl looks a lot like?

From: Jessica
uh no but i have a feeling you’ll tell me

From: Taeyeon
tiffany hwang

From: Jessica
lol rly? i’ll have to tell steph you said that

From: Taeyeon
steph?

From: Jessica
stephanie, my friend who apparently looks like tiffany
lol i’ll tell her she should post a selca online claiming to be tiffany’s lookalike
maybe she can become famous

From: Taeyeon
lol maybe she can
lemme know how that goes

From: Jessica
ok stalker

From: Taeyeon
=.=

From: Jessica
:D

 

“So,” Jessica says. “My friend said the funniest thing today.”

“Oh yeah?” Stephanie asks. “What?”

“She said that you look like Tiffany Hwang.”

Stephanie freezes, the line of her shoulders going rigid. “Did she?” she asks with a laugh. “Do you think I do?”

“Well, I don’t know what Tiffany looks like,” Jessica says with a shrug. “I’ve been meaning to look her up but I just never got around to it.” She reaches for her phone. “I can do it now—”

“No, don’t!” Stephanie blurts out. “I mean, there’s no point. Other people have told me that too.”

“Really? You must look a lot like her.”

“People certainly think so,” Stephanie says with an uncomfortable laugh. “She has some pretty intense fans.”

“She’s an idol.” Jessica shrugs. “I guess that comes with the territory.”

“What do you think of her?” Stephanie asks casually.

“Well, I don’t really know anything about her except that our whole school is obsessed with her.” Jessica makes a face. “I feel embarrassed for the people who practically pass out just because they stood in the same classroom she did or something.”

Stephanie has a funny look on her face. “Ah well, that’s fans for you, right?”

“Crazy fans. I’ll never understand how celebrities endure it all.”

“I guess they think that what they do is worth all the negative things.”

“What they do,” Jessica repeats scornfully. “Lip sync and show aegyo and blow kisses to the cameras? Well, I’m glad they think that’s worth it.”

“Is that all you think idols do?” Stephanie asks quietly. “You don’t think they really sing and dance? That they care about performing?”

“I’m not saying they don’t. I’m just saying that they have to do a lot of the other things too.” Jessica sighs. “I know idols have it rough too. I can’t imagine leading that kind of life.”

“You would never want to be one, I’m guessing?”

“Oh hell no. I like my freedom, thanks. And I love sleep too much.”

“Nobody loves sleep like you do,” Stephanie says with a chuckle. “Do you think you could ever be friends with an idol?”

Jessica snorts. “Why would an idol ever want to be friends with me?”

“You think too little of yourself, Jessi,” Stephanie says, smiling in the way that lets Jessica know argument is futile. “Let’s say hypothetically.”

“Well, I guess? I haven’t really thought about it.” Jessica contemplates it for a moment, but she can’t imagine that at all. “Do you think you can be?”

Stephanie shrugs. “Why not? I like making friends.”

With Stephanie’s personality, Jessica bets that she’s surrounded by friends, although she has her weird selective social anxiety.

“Do you run into all of them?” Jessica jokes.

“No,” Stephanie says. “Only you.”

“Oh,” Jessica says, and her heart does a backflip.

 

From: Taeyeon
so wat did ur friend stephanie say to the lookalike news?

From: Jessica
why are you calling her “my friend stephanie”
do you know any other stephanies?

From: Taeyeon
idk that’s how i think of her, as ur friend stephanie

From: Jessica
i’ll introduce you to her as “my friend taeyeon” then

From: Taeyeon
okay i’d like to meet her
u shud introduce her to us sometime

From: Jessica
lol you sound like she’s my gf or sth

From: Taeyeon
u mean she isn’t?

From: Jessica
um no lmao where did you get that idea

From: Taeyeon
u talk abt her like she’s ur gf
and u get this soppy look in ur eyes when u do

From: Jessica
“soppy look in my eyes” wtf kim taeyeon

From: Taeyeon
i’m just telling it like it is

From: Jessica
i think ur telling it like ur delusional
which you obvs are

From: Taeyeon
u nv even answered my qn

From: Jessica
what question?

From: Taeyeon
=.=
wat did she say when u told her she looks like tiffany?

From: Jessica
she said other ppl have told her that too

From: Taeyeon
hmm i’m not surprised. she rly looks like her

From: Jessica
lol too bad tiffany isn’t an actress then
stephanie could be her body double

From: Taeyeon
lol yea. too bad

 

“There’s this new Jo Insung movie out that sounds pretty good,” Jessica says, browsing through the movie listings on her phone. “Do you want to go see it?”

Stephanie tenses. “You mean, in the theatre?”

“Well, yeah, I mean I’d stream it online but I doubt we’d be able to find any good streams since it’s so new. Especially since it’s rated.”

“It’s rated?”

“Yeah.” Jessica grins. “Are you one of those squeamish proper types, Steph?”

“No, I’m not,” Stephanie says emphatically. “It’s just that they ID you for rated movies.”

“Yes, and…?”

Stephanie clears . “I can’t find my driver’s license, so I wouldn’t be able to show them any ID.”

Jessica frowns. “Do you have your passport?”

Stephanie shrugs, picking at a loose thread in her shirt. “Maybe we can find a movie that we can stream online or download.”

“But it’s fun to watch a movie in theatres,” Jessica says, imagining their arms brushing against each other’s on the armrest, leaning into each other at a particularly intense scene. “And this movie has good ratings. Then again, those are probably biased because of Jo Insung.”

Stephanie studies her for a moment. “Are you a fan of his?”

“He’s okay,” Jessica says, purposefully without much enthusiasm even though he’s one of her favourite actors. “I guess I like him as an actor. What about you?”

Stephanie brightens. “Dennis Oh!” She sighs. “He’s been my ideal type for years. Well, was.”

“Was? Who’s your ideal type now?”

“I’m not telling,” Stephanie says with a twinkle in her eyes.

“Give me a hint,” Jessica wheedles.

“Mmm. American.”

“Daniel Henney?”

“No.”

“Do you mean American as in Korean-American or American-American? Because if it’s Brad Pitt or something, you have to let me know or I’m going in the completely wrong direction.”

“Korean-American.”

“Julien Kang?”

“He’s Canadian, I think, and nope. You’re getting colder and colder.” Stephanie smiles. “I don’t think you’re going to guess, Jessi.”

“Give me a minute.” Who else could it be? Why would Stephanie say she’s getting colder and colder, unlike she meant it literally because Canada is cold?

“I might as well go and buy some popcorn, if you’re going to keep this up,” Stephanie says, amused. “I haven’t even asked you – who’s your ideal type?”

When Jessica got asked this question before, she thought of broad shoulders and defined muscles. Now, however, she finds herself thinking of smiling eyes and pouty lips.

“Jessi?” Said eyes are trained on her, and said lips are slightly pinched.

Jessica clears and tries to clear her mind as well. “If you’re not going to tell me, why should I tell you?”

Stephanie pouts. “Do I get a hint, at least?”

“American.” Two can play at this game.

“Well, that really narrows it down…” Stephanie says wryly, and Jessica grins.

 

They end up watching WALL-E together. Jessica watched it a few years ago, but Stephanie’s never seen it. She’s enraptured throughout the movie, eyes fixated on the screen and body not staying still otherwise, and Jessica finds her own eyes flickering to Stephanie more often than not.

Stephanie tears up at the scene where WALL-E gets crushed, and when the humans team together to defy the robots, she claps her hands together in delight. Jessica smiles more at her reaction than the scene, even though it’s one of her favourites.

“That was amazing,” Stephanie sighs at the end. “I love Pixar movies.”

“I can’t believe you’ve never watched it.”

“You’ve never watched Up!”

“That’s totally different,” Jessica says dismissively. “WALL-E is a classic, okay?”

“And Up isn’t?”

“Not as much.”

“Do you want to fight me?” Stephanie asks, raising her fists.

Jessica holds her up too. “Okay, let’s go right now.”

“Okay,” Stephanie says, and then they lock eyes and burst into laughter. “Can we agree that Toy Story is the best though?”

“Which one is your favourite?”

“Okay, I know that everyone loves three the most but personally I’m a er for one.”

Jessica snorts. “You’re a er, period.”

“Hey! I will really fight you. Don’t think I won’t.”

“Don’t think you’ll win.”

“Jessica.”

“Stephanie.”

Stephanie’s expression suddenly brightens. “Let’s watch Up!”

“Now?” Jessica asks incredulously.

“Yeah, why not? We have the movie equipment all set up.” The equipment of which she speaks is Jessica’s laptop. “You’re missing out, Jessi. It’s such a great movie. It’ll totally lift your spirits.”

“Let me guess, it’ll raise them up?” Jessica asks wryly.

“Yeah!” Stephanie says enthusiastically. “You got it.” She punches Jessica in the arm like it’s supposed to be some kind of reward.

“Why do you like hitting people so much?” Jessica grumbles, rubbing her arm.

“I don’t like hitting people.” Stephanie trains a brilliant smile on her. “I only like hitting you.”

“Wow, I’m so incredibly flattered.”

“You should be,” Stephanie tells her. “Now shush, the movie’s starting.” Somehow, she had managed to find a link of Up and open it while Jessica was occupied with nursing her poor bruised arm.

“This had better be good,” Jessica says darkly. “If it brings me down I’m suing Pixar for giving the movie a bad name.”

“If it brings you down I’ll tie a bunch of balloons to you and see if you float.”

Jessica laughs. And laughs some more during the movie. And gasps. And laughs some more. And cries, just a little.

Okay, so Up is a great movie but WALL-E is better and still her favourite Pixar movie. Honourable mention goes to Finding Nemo though.

 

When Yuri and Sooyoung invite Jessica over, she almost declines because she’s in one of her moods where she just wants to lie down in bed with her phone for a solid four hours. Sooyoung says that they want to talk about something, and Jessica doesn’t really feel like talking right now, unless it’s to Siri.

In the end, it’s Yuri saying that she’ll cook that sways Jessica, because Yuri is actually a pretty great cook. It’s basically the only reason Jessica keeps her around. Yuri is her go-to home cook and Sooyoung is her go-to high shelf grabber. It’s a fruitful friendship.

“I was going to bring a drink,” Jessica says as she slips off her shoes, “but I didn’t want to actually go out and buy one.”

“Thanks for telling us about that fascinating piece of news,” Sooyoung says dryly. “It just made my night.”

“I’m always happy to bless the less fortunate.”

“How exactly am I less fortunate than you?”

Jessica smiles. “I would tell you the reasons but I don’t have all day.” She glances at the kitchen, where there’s a nice aroma already. “You’re not helping Yuri?”

Sooyoung makes a face at her like are you really asking me that, and Jessica remembers that Sooyoung isn’t any better at cooking than her.

Yuri wipes her hands on her apron – she actually has an apron, that’s how dedicated she is, while Jessica can barely bother to buy oven mitts – as she walks over. “We just need to wait for about fifteen minutes for the meat to finish braising.”

Jessica breathes in, taking in the aroma of stewing beef and onions and spices she can’t name. “It smells really good, Yul.”

“Thanks. You haven’t had my cooking in a long time.”

“That’s because Sica is always busy hanging out with her new friend now,” Sooyoung says, with a rather funny expression.

“What,” Jessica says. “Are you guys jealous?”

“Actually, yeah,” Yuri says.

Wait, what? They’re jealous? Of Stephanie?

“How could you not tell us that you’re friends with Tiffany Hwang?” Sooyoung demands.

“Uh, because I’m not?” Has Sooyoung totally lost it due to her fangirl delusions? Jessica knows that she has a few screws loose, but she didn’t know that she has nothing in her toolbox. “I’ve never seen her before in my life.”

“There’s no point in denying it now, Sica.” Yuri doesn’t sound angry; she sounds almost…hurt. “There are pictures of you all over the Internet. In fact, you should probably watch yourself. Her really overzealous fans are going to get crazy. They might even attack you.”

Yuri sounds so serious that Jessica falters. Did someone Photoshop her into pictures with Tiffany as a practical joke? Why would they even do that?

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve never even seen Tiffany before.”

“Look.” Sooyoung pulls out her phone and brings up a popular celebrity news website. There are pictures of Jessica with a girl, arms linked and faces close together, both of them smiling. They’re not kissing or anything like that, but there’s something intimate about the way they’re looking at each other. Jessica in a breath; she didn’t know that she and Stephanie looked like that to an outside eye. Also, what the hell? People are photographing them and posting the pictures online?

Jessica gives an incredulous laugh. “Are the paparazzi bored now and just posting pictures of random people? Wow, are they that desperate?”

“Random people?” Sooyoung looks at her like she’s out of her mind. “This is you and Tiffany.”

“That’s me with my friend, Stephanie. I don’t know how they mixed her up with Tiffany Hwang but—”

“Jessica,” Yuri says. “That is Tiffany. Her real name is Stephanie Hwang. Tiffany is her stage name.”

Sooyoung searches up “Tiffany Hwang” and dozens of pictures come up, of a girl with red or brown or black hair, often giving that eye smile that Jessica thought was only for her but turns out is just a plastic expression for the public. Pictures of Stephanie, the girl that Jessica thought she knew but turns out to just be a lie, an act.

“You never knew who she really was?” Sooyoung asks, quieter now.

Jessica mutely shakes her head. “She told me that she’s a new student and her name is Stephanie. I believed her.”

“Well, she wasn’t technically lying,” Yuri says, like she’s trying to console Jessica. “She is a new student and her name is Stephanie.”

“She didn’t tell me,” Jessica whispers, and then, louder, “I can’t believe she didn’t tell me.”

“Jessica, I’m sure—where are you going?”

She doesn’t know. She just knows that she can’t believe Stephanie didn’t tell her the truth about who she is. She can’t believe Stephanie – if that person is even real, or just another side of an idol façade.

 

From: Jessica
soooooo my friends just told me that you’re tiffany hwang
care to explain?

From: Jessica
how could you lie to me about your identity like that?

From: Jessica
i’m thinking about auditioning for sm
can you hook me up?

From: Jessica
so your name isn’t even your real name
or it is but it’s essentially not
is our friendship even real?

From: Jessica
do you want to hang tonight?
i want to talk about something

 

From: Stephanie
sure!! ^^ where and what time??

From: Jessica
my place at 7?

From: Stephanie
okay!!! :D i can’t wait~

Jessica stares at Stephanie’s – Tiffany’s? – text until her screen fades into black, and even then she keeps staring.

 

“I like your place,” Tiffany – Stephanie? – says, something that she says every time she comes over. Jessica doesn’t think there’s anything special about her apartment – the couch is worn and the carpet is ugly and the kitchen tap whistles when you turn the water to hot – but evidently Ste—Tiffany does.

“Thanks,” Jessica says, and then, casually, “What’s your place like?”

“Oh, it’s just an apartment,” Tiffany says, tone light and slightly dismissive, the way it is when she talks about any personal aspect of her life.

“I expect to be invited over sometime,” Jessica says, gauging her reaction.

Tiffany smiles. “Definitely! One day.”

Will that one day really come, Jessica wonders. Maybe she should just keep on pretending that she doesn’t know. They do say that ignorance is bliss, and she’s pretty sure she can feign ignorance. They also say that knowledge is power, but she thinks that she feels the opposite of powerful with this piece of knowledge.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Tiffany asks. “I’m glad you asked me over because I want to tell you something too.”

“You first,” Jessica says because she wants to delay bursting their bubble as much as she can. This is a nice bubble.

“I wanted to say that… I was excited but also nervous to come to this university. You know how I told you that I transferred here, right?” She barely waits for Jessica to nod. “I’ve never really gone to university before. Not like a normal student. And it’s been—the most normal thing ever to meet you, to be your friend, but it’s also the most…not normal thing ever.”

“Are you saying I’m abnormal?” Jessica can only think to ask.

“No, no,” Tiffany laughs. “Well, you’re not…ordinary. I’ve never met anyone like you.” She lowers her head, cheeks flushing, and Jessica stares, having no idea how to deal with the situation. “When I came here, all I wanted was to make some friends who—like me for who I am, and it’s been…hard.”

“I like you for who you are.”

“I know you do.” Tiffany raises her head; isn’t smiling but her eyes are, and this is a smile that Jessica hasn’t seen in all the pictures and videos of Tiffany Hwang she searched up. “I like you for who you are too. I-I really like you, Jessi.”

“Okay… Thanks?”

“I really like you,” Tiffany repeats, more insistently. “Not as a friend. I mean, I like you as a friend too but… Yeah.” She’s definitely blushing, but she’s not looking away. “So that’s what I wanted to tell you.”

“Oh,” Jessica says dumbly.

“I just wanted to let you know. You don’t have to say anything back. I mean, not that you have anything to say back, just—yeah. I just wanted to let you know.”

“What would your company do if they knew you liked a girl?”

Tiffany freezes. “What?”

“What would your fans do? What are they called – Fanytastics, right? And the fans who ship you with those other idols, they’re going to be heartbroken. Oh, but of course they’re never going to know, right? It’s not like you’ll tell them. Were you ever going to tell me, or were you just planning to lead a double life?”

“Jessica,” Tiffany whispers, her face ashen.

“Were you ever going to tell me,” Jessica repeats, “or did you just plan to keep me in the dark forever? It must have been fun for you, right, having me fall for your Stephanie persona. I guess having most of Korea in love with you isn’t enough, you have to convert non-believers too. That must have been a great ego boost for you.”

Tiffany is shaking her head, her face getting paler and her eyes darker as Jessica speaks. She opens a few times, like she wants to offer a rebuke, but not a word escapes her lips.

“I’m so stupid,” Jessica says bitterly. “I know what idols are like and yet I fell for the most expert idol ever.”

“Is that what you think of me?” Tiffany finally croaks. “That I…played you? That this is all an act?”

Jessica stares at her. “Is it not?”

“If that’s what you think of me, then…” Tiffany’s teeth sink into her bottom lip. “I didn’t tell you that I’m an idol because I didn’t want you to think of me as Tiffany Hwang The Idol. I wanted you to get to know me, Stephanie me, but I guess that if this is the kind of person you think I am, then you don’t want to know me in any way.”

Jessica falls silent, as though her barrage of words has left her empty of arguments. Tiffany stares at her, and something like anger flickers in her eyes. Jessica thinks that Tiffany’s going to go off on her, and she relishes that, awaits the start of an awful rally between them, full of venom and fire.

But then Tiffany deflates, like all the fight has drained out of her. “I was going to tell you,” she says quietly. “I just…couldn’t bring myself to yet. I suppose I wanted to maintain the fantasy of being a normal person a little longer. If that’s what you consider leading a double life, then I guess that’s what I’m doing. I just wanted to be Stephanie a little longer, be a girl who can eat noodles in public and watch a movie with the girl she likes.” She gives a smile that’s nothing like her usual ones. “But that’s too much to ask for, isn’t it? You’re right – I’m an expert idol, and this is the most reckless thing I’ve done in a long, long time. And it didn’t pay off. I guess I should just stick to being Tiffany, because that’s the only thing I’m good at.”

Jessica wants to say something, wants to tell Tiffany that she didn’t mean what she said, that she did mean it when she said she likes Tiffany, likes Stephanie, but she can’t force open.

“Don’t worry,” Tiffany – Stephanie? – adds. “I’ll make sure you won’t get trouble from my fans for the pictures. I wouldn’t let our…affiliation hurt you.”

Jessica finally manages to say something, but it’s the wrong name that leaves . “Tiffany—”

“Bye, Jessica,” she says. “I hope that…”

She doesn’t finish the sentence, practically running out of Jessica’s apartment, and Jessica is left staring at her, waiting for her to stop, to finish the sentence, to come back.

She doesn’t.

 

S.M. Entertainment releases an official statement about Tiffany’s pictures with Jessica, claiming that they’re good friends (read: and nothing more).

In the related column, there’s an article about Tiffany and some boy group member having couple rings, igniting a heated debate between their fandoms.

Jessica closes the tab, feeling numb. The numb feeling has spread all the way to her fingertips, and she has to flex her hand several times before she can open her contacts to call a familiar number.

“Taeyeon?” Her voice is very small. “I think I messed up big time.”

 

Taeyeon, being the amazing friend she is, comes over armed with chocolate and ice cream and a huge thermos of chicken noodle soup.

“Did you make that?” Jessica asks dully. “I thought you only know how to make kimchi jigae.”

“It’s from a can, but it’s that brand you said was American and that you like.”

“Oh, thanks,” Jessica says, and then, “So… Stephanie is Tiffany Hwang.” The words sound strange to say, wrong, like she’s speaking some abominable lie even though they’re nothing but the truth.

There’s a beat before Taeyeon says, “I know.”

Jessica gives her an incredulous look. “You knew? How did you know?”

Taeyeon’s forehead furrows. “Well, I told you that I saw you two on campus, right? I could tell it was her then.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought that it should be her decision to tell you or not.” Taeyeon hesitates. “I’m sorry, Sica. I didn’t know it would turn out like this.”

Jessica puts her head in her hands. “I told her that—god, I said some terrible things. I just felt so…”

“Betrayed?”

“No. Well, yeah. Yeah, I guess I did.” Jessica’s head feels so heavy that she feels like it’s going to drag her right onto the ground. “I just can’t believe she didn’t tell me, even after I brought it up to her. I told her that you said she looks like Tiffany, and she just—laughed and said it happens a lot. How could she lie to my face like that?”

“Maybe she didn’t want you to see her differently,” Taeyeon says. “I mean, you didn’t exactly…have a positive reaction to Tiffany. She probably didn’t want your opinion of her to change.”

“Well, my opinion has changed now.”

“Now you think she’s this scheming, two-faced liar?”

“No!” Jessica blurts out. “How could I?”

Taeyeon shrugs. “That’s what it sounded like.”

“Even if I thought that for a second, I know that she’s not. I just…” Jessica shakes her head. “I messed up.”

Taeyeon hands her a chocolate bar. “Here, eat your sorrows.”

Jessica gives a startled laugh. “That’s your advice?”

“Do you have any better ideas?”

“Do you have alcohol?”

“Uh, I think I have some liquor-filled chocolates.”

“I’ll take some of those.”

“I don’t think there’s nearly enough alcohol in them to get you drunk,” Taeyeon says. “Also, I think you should talk to her.”

Jessica snorts. “Yeah, because that went so well last time.”

“Come on.” Taeyeon nudges her shoulder. “You’re sorry, right? Just tell her that.”

“Yeah,” Jessica says. “I will. Just…let me have some chocolate first.”

Taeyeon hands the whole box of liquor-filled ones. Bless her.

 

From: Jessica
steph, i’m sorry
really sorry
do you want to have lunch tmr?

From: Stephanie
sorry, i’m busy
this is my last week

From: Jessica
oh. already?

From: Stephanie
yeah. i have a lot of things to do to prepare for that

From: Jessica
will i see you again?

From: Jessica
you can’t just leave

From: Jessica
oh, well good luck

From: Stephanie
thank you
good luck for your test on thursday

The lack of emoticons and exclamation marks in her texts almost hurts, like their absence is striking Jessica, leaving her winded from the impact.

From: Jessica
thanks. hwaiting!

 

Jessica ignores the stares and whispers from the other students as she walks by. At least nobody has vandalized her things or physically attacked her. She knows that Stephanie promised her she wouldn’t be disturbed by her fans and meant it, but she also knows that idols don’t always have control over their fans.

She finds herself binging videos, pictures, articles of Tiffany – everything that she can find (and there’s a lot, Sooyoung wasn’t exaggerating about her fame). She’s not surprised that Tiffany’s eye smile is well-known and well-loved, but she has to wonder whether she’s being delusional when she thinks that Tiffany – Stephanie? – never quite smiles at anyone the way she smiles at Jessica.

It’s common knowledge that the industry is saturated with idols who can’t sing, but Tiffany is certainly not one of them. Her voice isn’t like anyone’s that Jessica’s ever heard, throaty and husky, full of heart in a way that Jessica expects from her even though she’s never heard Tiffany sing before. Jessica especially likes Tiffany’s English covers, and she can’t help but wonder what their voices would sound like together.

Tiffany’s dancing is definitely not weak either, despite her ability to trip over flat surfaces in everyday life. Jessica finds herself watching an I Just Wanna Dance stage with rather too much intensity, eyes tracing the lines of Tiffany’s legs. It’s something that she’s done in real life too, but she jerks her eyes away, feeling a swell of something like shame.

She knows that she should close the window, but instead she clicks on a related video – Tiffany singing Once in a Lifetime. Tiffany stares directly into the camera as she sings, gaze dark and heavy in a way that Jessica has seen glimpses of from Stephanie, when she’s lost in thoughts that Jessica isn’t privy to, and Jessica can’t pull her own eyes away for the life of her.

How ironic, she thinks – she had originally wanted nothing to do with Tiffany, but now she can’t get enough of her.

 

She and Taeyeon are supposed to be studying together, but Jessica finds the figures from her stats textbook blurring in front of her eyes again. This time, she doesn’t even try to make out the information; she’s far too distracted for that, even though the second midterm is coming up.

“What did you get for the answer for 4b?” Taeyeon asks.

“Um…” Jessica looks at 4b, but it might as well have been written in Latin for the amount of sense it makes to her.

“You’re not getting any studying done, are you?”

“No,” Jessica admits, running her finger over a normal distribution graph. Maybe if she does it enough, it’ll pass on some normal-ness to her. She could definitely use it.

“How are things going with her?”

Jessica plays dumb. “Who?”

“Jessica.”

“How are things going with me? Are we going to talk about me in the third person now?”

“Tiffany,” Taeyeon says, unrelenting. “Or Stephanie. Whatever you want to call her. How are things with her?”

“They’re…nowhere.”

Taeyeon frowns. “You haven’t talked to her?”

“She’s been busy,” Jessica says, picking at the skin around her nails. “Or at least that’s what she told me.”

Taeyeon’s expression looks a lot like pity, and Jessica looks away.

“This is her last week here,” Jessica says, her voice getting smaller.

“Oh, Sica.” Taeyeon puts a hand over hers. “I’m sorry.”

Jessica keeps her eyes on her textbook, the text clear now although she still has no idea how to solve 4b. “So am I.”

 

Breaking: Tiffany rumoured to be dating 2PM’s Taecyeon!

Jessica knows it’s a terrible idea to click on the headline, but how could she resist? It turns out that Taecyeon is the one Tiffany supposedly had couple rings with, and now there have been pictures released of them getting into his car. Jessica’s stomach turns when she recognizes the setting: the back side of the campus plaza, close to Noodle Shack. Had he picked her up there so they could share a cozy date?

She closes the web page, but she can’t get the image of them out of her mind. They look good together, she has to admit. Like one of those classic idol couples.

Jessica’s mind is still on the article as she keeps walking, paying even less attention to her surroundings than she usually does. History, of course, is not kind to her and has her crashing into someone.

“Watch where you’re going, will you?” she says on instinct, raising her head when she gets no reply. History is cruel, she thinks, looking into a pair of eyes that are both incredibly familiar yet completely different without a screen between them.

“Sorry,” Tiffany – Stephanie? – says, and makes to brush past her but Jessica stays solidly in her path.

“Is it true?” she blurts out.

Tiffany looks at her wearily. “Is what true?”

“That you’re dating Taecyeon?”

Tiffany’s expression goes completely blank. “Do you think it’s true?”

“Did you go to Noodle Shack with him?” Jessica asks, voice smaller now.

“No,” Tiffany says, but doesn’t go into any more detail.

“I mean, you can go anywhere you want with him, you can go anywhere with anyone.” Jessica knows she should shut up now, but she can’t seem to close . “It’s just that…”

“I’m not dating Taecyeon,” Tiffany says. “Or anyone else, for that matter. He wanted to grab a meal together, and my company…encouraged it to be somewhere public. They think that some attention with a male idol would be positive at this time.”

“Oh.” Jessica’s voice is very small. “Because of me?”

Tiffany shrugs. “It’s good to know how readily you’ll believe the paparazzi though. Goes to show how much faith you have in me.”

Jessica feels something cold sink in her stomach. “It’s not like that.”

Tiffany releases a sigh, quiet and emptying. “Has anyone bothered you?” she asks, voice softer.

Jessica blinks. “What?”

“My fans,” Tiffany clarifies. “Or the media or anyone like that. Have they bothered you?”

Jessica shakes her head.

“Good.” Tiffany exhales. “I was worried.”

Jessica feels like curling in on herself. Here she is, shaken by rumours about Tiffany just because of a few pictures, and yet Tiffany is still concerned about her. “Steph—”

“I have a class in fifteen minutes and I really need to get going,” Tiffany says, glancing at her watch. “I’m not making this up to avoid you. I really do need to go.”

“Right.” Jessica swallows. “You should go. Not taking the scenic route this time?”

“I’ve already looked at a scene,” Tiffany says with a faint smile. “Take care of yourself, Jessica.”

“Yeah, you too, Stephanie.”

But she’s already walked away, and Jessica’s left staring after her just like her earlier prediction, only she could never have predicted what Stephanie would come to mean to her. Some things are beyond the realm of even imagination.

 

Jessica has always had a terribly low alcohol tolerance, so it’s a bad idea for her to drink more than one beer but she’s been a fan of bad ideas lately. Somehow, one beer turns into two and then she discovers she still has some vodka left from when Sooyoung and Yuri made Jell-O shots and next thing she knows she’s writing texts that she knows better than to send.

Well, she knows it sober anyway.

From: Jessica
steph
S T E P H
i miss you

i’m sorry
you don’t know how sorry i am
is it too late now to say sorry

i’m double sorry for quoting a justin bieber song at you

i really am sorry
you don’t know how much i regret it
and how much i miss you

also i am officially your fan now i even signed up for your fan cafe
at least i think i did i’m not sure i did it right

i don’t know why i said those things
or maybe i do
i just like you so much

that’s not my reason
or maybe it is
anyway i just really really like you
like really
R E A L L Y

I
LIKE
YOU

When Jessica wakes up the next morning (okay, afternoon), she has a headache that makes her want to go back in time and strangle her past self for drinking so much and two new texts.

From: Stephanie
are you okay???

and

we should talk

Jessica is so screwed.

 

Tiffany invites Jessica to her apartment, texting her an address that her more dedicated fans no doubt already know and an entrance code to the front door that they would no doubt trade a limb for. Jessica’s thought many times about being invited to Tiffany’s home before, as it was always Tiffany who went to her place, never vice versa. She definitely thought that she would be excited, but right now her stomach is a roiling mess of nerves with no room for excitement.

Tiffany is there in the lobby when Jessica shows up. It takes Jessica a moment to spot her because she’s partially obscured by a giant plant, but when she sees Tiffany she automatically gives a spastic little wave that makes Tiffany smile. Jessica feels gratified to see her smile, even if it’s not the one she would like to see.

“The security here is really serious,” Tiffany says once they’re in the elevator. “There are fans trying to get in all the time pretending to be a friend or relative, so I thought it’d be better if I come get you myself.”

“Oh, well thanks.”

“No problem.” Tiffany presses the button for the twenty-second floor. “So…your texts,” she prompts.

Jessica feels her face heat up. “I was drunk.”

“Yeah, I could tell. Or well, I guessed.” Tiffany looks at her for a long moment. “Are you going to take it back?”

“I was drunk,” Jessica repeats, “and I’m a very honest drunk.”

Tiffany nods, her lips saying nothing and her eyes saying everything. “So,” she says, cracking a smile. “You joined my fan cafe, huh?”

Jessica’s face almost ignites. “I don’t know if I did it successfully. Those things are complicated.”

“I know they are. I tried to join my friend’s and I accidentally broke some rule and got kicked out.”

“No way,” Jessica laughs. “Really? Which friend?”

“Juhyun – I mean, Seohyun. Have you heard of her?”

“Um, maybe…”

“Well, then again you didn’t know me. I’d be hurt if you knew her but not me.”

“Isn’t it better that I didn’t know you?” Jessica asks. “I mean, besides…you know, what I said last time.”

Tiffany’s eyes get that dark, heavy look in them. “You know me now. Or you know my ‘Stephanie persona.’”

Jessica winces as Tiffany throws her own words back at her, feeling them land and leave bruises where they hit her. “You don’t know how much—”

The elevator doors open with a faint ping. Jessica stays rooted where she is, and Tiffany holds her arm between the doors so they won’t close.

“Come on,” Tiffany says. “We should probably have this talk in my apartment.”

 

Tiffany’s apartment is nice, with its large living room and well-lit interior. It’s not as extravagant as Jessica expected, although she doesn’t quite know what she expected. Her expectations about Stephanie and her expectations about Tiffany seem so divergent that she can’t reconcile them. Right now, the girl looking at her with careful eyes and a guarded expression seems very much like Tiffany, not Stephanie, whose face would be open and smiling.

“You can sit,” Tiffany says, when Jessica just stands in the middle of the living room. “On any of the couches. Or the ground, if you want, but I think the couch would be more comfortable.”

Jessica clears . “Right.” She takes a seat on the two-person sofa, and Tiffany settles into the recliner.

“You have a nice place,” Jessica says awkwardly.

“Thanks. I’m not actually here that much.”

“Right, you must be busy.”

“I am,” Tiffany says, picking at a seam in a cushion. “Sometimes I forget that this is technically my home.”

“It doesn’t feel like home to you?”

“What makes a place a home?” Tiffany asks, staring at her like she’s expecting an ultimate answer from her.

“Um… It’s where the heart is, right?” Jessica says, because she’s incredibly lame like that. She glances around Tiffany’s apartment, at the tasteful paintings and pristine furniture, and feels a little ache. Her apartment looks like a place from a catalogue, but it doesn’t look lived-in and comfortable the way Jessica’s does.

“Where the heart is,” Tiffany repeats, closing her eyes. Her lashes are so long and dark they seem like they’ll leave sooty marks on her cheeks. “I guess that’s true.”

Do you know where yours is? Jessica almost asks, but hers is lodged in and she’s rendered mute.

“I know I should have told you,” Tiffany says quietly, eyes still closed. “I was planning to eventually. I told myself I would do it later, and then later just kept getting pushed back. I wanted to avoid…well, something like what happened,” she says with a twist of .

“I’m sor—”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing. I know you are. I have enough sorrys from your texts.”

“I still am. I guess I just felt…” Jessica bites her lip. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I was overboard in saying those things to you. I didn’t mean them, I was just caught up in the moment.”

“No, it matters.” Tiffany opens her eyes and stares at her with that look again. “How did you feel when you found out?”

“Like you didn’t trust me,” Jessica says, voice small. “Like you didn’t really want to be with me.”

“Of course I want to be with you,” Tiffany says, just as Jessica is about to bite her tongue for letting it slip out. “That’s what I’ve wanted since we ate noodles together.”

“Oh,” Jessica says dumbly.

Tiffany shakes her head with a smile. “Do you know who my ideal type is now?”

Jessica’s face feels warm, her tongue thick and leaden. Tiffany gets up from the recliner and slips beside her (on the loveseat, a corner of her mind remembers).

“Jessi,” she says, and her voice is so fond it makes Jessica’s blush darken. “You’re so cute.”

“Um, thanks?”

“You’re welcome,” Tiffany says, and then grins. “I’m yours, right?”

Jessica blinks. “My what?” she asks, even though she wants to answer yes, you’re mine.

“Your ideal type.”

“Not if you’re going to be smug about it,” Jessica says, and Tiffany’s face lights up with the laugh that Jessica hasn’t seen in too long. “I don’t like smug people.”

“You must not like yourself then.”

“How am I smug?” Jessica asks indignantly. She just has a healthy self-esteem, thank you very much.

“You called yourself a goddess.”

“I was joking!”

“Sure,” Tiffany says, but then she smiles again and Jessica just finds herself staring. “I didn’t say that I don’t agree.”

Jessica clears . “You’re the one who probably gets called a goddess by people every day.”

“I’m not,” she says, a shadow in her eyes. “It’s Tiffany who gets called—whatever she’s called. I’m just Stephanie. That’s not…my life.”

“I know,” Jessica says, reaching for her hand. “I definitely know that now.”

A squeeze of her hand, and a soft smile. “I’m glad you do.”

“Hey.” Jessica hesitates. “Steph?”

“Yeah?”

“This is your last week, right? Does that mean—”

“Just because I’m not going to be in university anymore doesn’t mean I’m not going to see you anymore,” Stephanie says. “I plan on seeing you for a long time.”

“You’re so lame,” Jessica says, even though she can’t help her smile.

“Hey, you’re the one who ran into me and my lameness.”

“You mean, you ran into me,” Jessica corrects.

Stephanie rolls her eyes. “We’re really going to have this argument until we’re old ladies, aren’t we?”

“I look forward to it,” Jessica says, and she means it to be flippant but it comes out rather soft.

“I do too,” Stephanie says, and smiles.

 

When Stephanie goes to take a shower, Jessica uses the opportunity to set her plan up. She pulls out her phone and hooks it up to the speakers she had brought with her, and then opens the karaoke version of the song she had practiced.

She hears the creak of the bathroom door opening and the faint whirl of the fan. Stephanie steps inside her room, her dark hair damp and her face scrubbed clean, dressed in a set of pink pyjamas. She looks so young and so much softer than the pictures and videos that Jessica has been poring over the past couple of days.

“Do you want to use the shower? I can lend you some spare pyjamas if you want.” Stephanie falters when Jessica doesn’t reply. “I mean, you don’t have to stay the night, I just thought that—”

“No, I want to,” Jessica says hurriedly. “I just—have something for you.”

Stephanie finally seems to notice Jessica’s speakers. “Okay?” She starts to smile. “What is it?”

“Hang on a second,” Jessica says, keeping her eyes fixed on her phone because she would lose her nerve otherwise.

She takes a breath. Hits play. Starts to sing.

I didn’t want to trust anything
Abundant meetings and lies
A surprising incident happened
That transformed me
Like starting to love for the first time

Her voice almost cracks, but she pushes on, thankful that Taeyeon had dragged her to a cappella club meetings even though they were always in the morning.

Past the rough times
(Without fear)
Now I want to fall asleep in your embrace

She starts to lose herself in the music but she keeps her eyes open and locked on Stephanie’s, which are getting brighter and brighter.

You are my once in a lifetime
You’re a deep and wide ocean
While I breathe, no, even after
You’ll be on my side
You are my
You are my once in a lifetime

After Jessica sings the last “once in a lifetime,” she’s left staring at Stephanie, who opens and closes it, several times before finally asking a question.

“You’re serenading me with my own song?”

“I know I’m not a professional singer like you but—”

“Jessi.” A smile splits over Stephanie’s face. “You’re so cheesy.”

“Sorry?”

“I love it,” Stephanie tells her. “I—thank you. That was just…” She claps once, twice, and then places her hands over her heart.

“It’s a good song,” Jessica says awkwardly.

“Thank you.” Stephanie smiles, shy. “Did you like that album?”

“I did,” Jessica says honestly. “That’s my favourite song on it, but I like the whole album. And you look great in the photobook.”

“Thanks,” Stephanie says with an embarrassed chuckle.

“I mean,” Jessica clears . “I bet everybody tells you that.”

“Yeah, but that’s different from you telling me,” Stephanie says. “You’re not just everybody, remember? You’re—a body.” She can only keep a straight face for two seconds before dissolving into laughter. “Honestly, I can’t believe you said that.”

“Hey, I just said the truth.”

“You sure put it weirdly.”

“Excuse me—”

“Don’t worry, Jessi,” Stephanie says solemnly. “I’ll accept you in all your weirdness.”

Jessica takes a step toward her, and another, and then Stephanie’s finally within reach. “Steph,” she clears . “Can I—”

“Yes,” Stephanie says, and draws her into a kiss.

 

“I really am sorry.”

“I know.”

“I didn’t mean the things I said.”

“I know.”

“I like you, Steph. You, not Tiffany. Not that I don’t like Tiffany – or that you aren’t Tiffany – but I really do. Like you, I mean.”

“Jessi?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up and kiss me again.”

 

From: Krystal
i guess you know what she looks like now. you’d better give me all the details

From: Krystal
what would your ship name be - jeny? tisic? jeti?

From: Krystal
i think jeti sounds nice

“What are you reading?” Stephanie asks sleepily. “The light from your phone is in my face.”

“Do you think JeTi sounds nice?”

“What’s Je—oh. You’re giving us a ship name now?”

“I’m not. My sister is.”

“Your sister?” Stephanie’s eyes widen. “I’ve never even met her.”

“You can meet her later,” Jessica says lazily. “Anyway, do you like the name JeTi?”

Stephanie makes a contemplative sound. “Yeah, I do, actually. It has a nice ring to it.”

Jessica beams. “I think so too.”

“Now that we’ve agreed on our ship name, can you put your phone away?”

“No, I’m looking up pictures of you to set as my wallpaper.”

Stephanie groans. “Don’t use some picture of me from the Internet, that’s just weird. I can take a selfie for you later.”

“Sounds promising,” Jessica says suggestively, and Stephanie tries to smother her with a pillow.

They end up taking a picture together, faces close together and smiles bright, and Jessica sets it as both her wallpaper and lock screen picture.

 

Jessica has no idea how to use Stephanie’s coffee maker – it’s some kind of fancy contraption with more buttons than Jessica knows what to do with – and then it turns out that Stephanie doesn’t know how to use it either.

“It was a present,” Stephanie says sheepishly. “I was going to read the user manual but…”

“How do you drink coffee then?”

“I usually drink canned coffee.”

Of course.

“Well, you can try to figure that out or you can drink canned coffee with me,” Stephanie says. “Oh, I have instant coffee too!”

Jessica eyes the coffee maker. “I’ll have the instant coffee.”

“Okay,” Stephanie says brightly. “I’ll make myself a cup too.”

Jessica is far from a morning person, but she’s never seen anyone as chipper as Stephanie in the morning either. She watches as Stephanie bustles around her kitchen, making them coffee and spilling some in the process, and finds the corners of pulling up.

Stephanie takes out a box from the fridge. “I hope you like croissants.”

“Only if they’re filled with Nutella.”

“You’re in luck,” Stephanie tells her, opening her cupboard and taking out a jar of said spread. “I bought this the other day after you gave me that croissant.”

Jessica grins. “I inspired you that much, huh?”

Stephanie’s eyes disappear in that smile of hers. “Isn’t that what goddesses do to mortals?”

“Shouldn’t you be, like, writing me an ode or making me a painting then?”

“Maybe after the coffee kicks in,” Stephanie says, and Jessica laughs.

Stephanie splits a croissant into two and then slathers Nutella over the halves. Her spreading skills aren’t the best, and she gets almost as much Nutella on the plate as she does on the croissant.

Jessica blinks. “That looks…interesting.”

“Here, take it,” Stephanie says, sliding the plate toward her.

“Uh, thanks.”

“Is my debt cleared now?”

Jessica’s brow furrows. “What debt?”

“You said I owe you one, remember? When you gave me the croissant.”

“Oh, I was just ki—okay, I gave you a beautiful filled croissant. This is…not so beautiful.”

Stephanie pouts. “What do I have to do to repay my debt then?”

“Welllllll,” Jessica says, drawing out the word, and Stephanie elbows her in the stomach. “Hey! What is with you and violence?”

“I can tell that you were going to say something dirty.”

“I was not!” Jessica protests. “I was just going to say that you have to make me breakfast – a real breakfast – some other time.”

“You don’t consider this a real breakfast?” Stephanie sounds hurt. “I even made coffee.”

“It’s instant coffee.”

“Why don’t you make me breakfast next time?” Stephanie flashes a smile at her, and Jessica thinks that’s just unfair. “I’ve never had your cooking, Jessi.”

“I don’t think you want to have my cooking,” Jessica mutters. Even she doesn’t want to have her own cooking.

“Okay, it’s a date!” Stephanie announces. “Date night at your apartment. We can marathon Toy Story and then you make me breakfast in bed the next morning.”

“What am I, your sla—”

“Okay, Jessi?”

Jessica is about to say no way, but she makes the mistake of meeting Stephanie’s hopeful eyes and somehow “yes” escapes her lips instead. Damn traitorous mouth.

Stephanie beams and kisses her soundly, and Jessica thinks that breakfast in bed sounds pretty great, actually…

 

Jessica tries to delay introducing Stephanie to her best friends, because Sooyoung and Yuri are the most embarrassing friends in existence, but she has to do it eventually. Her ears would probably fall off from their whining otherwise.

She starts off easy.

“This is Taeyeon.”

Taeyeon smiles and holds out her hand like a normal person, unlike Sooyoung and Yuri who are openly gaping and starry-eyed. Jessica only knows Taeyeon. “Nice to meet you.”

“And this is dumb and dumber. I mean – Sooyoung and Yuri. They’re, uh, big fans.”

“You’re even prettier in person,” Yuri breathes, while Sooyoung asks, “Can you sign my albums? Or better yet, my arm?”

“Thank you,” Stephanie says politely to Yuri. “And sure?” she says to Sooyoung. “Do you have a pen with you?”

They both look like they might faint. Why is Jessica friends with them again?

“And this is Stephanie,” Jessica says, putting a slight emphasis on the word. This is Stephanie, not Tiffany. “My girlfriend.” Her face warms as she says the word, but her voice holds steady throughout.

“So Stephanie,” Taeyeon says casually. “Has anyone ever told you that you look a lot like Tiffany Hwang?”

Stephanie laughs. “I think I’ve heard that once or twice…”

---

A/N: I hope the switch between Stephanie to Tiffany, and then back to Stephanie, wasn't too confusing. I wanted to highlight the dichotomy between Stephanie and Tiffany, which is so prominent that the name Jessica (mentally) refers to her as changes. It was actually so hard for me to call Tiffany "Stephanie"; I slipped quite a few times.