August 05, 2007

“It’s time,” an unknown man’s voice rang through a room that was dead silent.

It’s normal to be nervous but Taeyeon felt like she was about to cry. She held Sooyoung’s hand tightly as she got up and walked out the door into the hallway.

No one spoke but Taeyeon could hear Yoona and Tiffany squealing and giggling. It was normal to feel this nervous, right? She looked at Sooyoung who was absent-mindedly rocking her head from side to side as they walked. Knowing Sooyoung was anxious too she gave her hand a light squeeze and showed the girl a reassuring smile. It was her job to make others feel better, she was the leader after all.

Jessica stared at the stage in the distance, the walk was almost over. She couldn’t believe it was finally time, after all these years, she was finally debuting. This was her moment to shine! Jessica was so immersed in thought that she never noticed the youngest was staring at her. Seohyun could see Jessica was having mixed emotions of excitement with an uneasy nervousness that came from the biting of her bottom lip. It was something they were all feeling at this moment.

“Okay, guys,” Sunny suddenly spoke. The girls all turned around to face Sunny who was showing them the brightest smile she could muster at a time like this, trying hard to ignore her own shaking legs and sweating palms.

'Sunny' Sooyoung still wasn’t used to that name but seeing the way her eyes sparkled with optimism, she found it quite suiting.

“Sunny really fits her,” Tiffany whispered to Taeyeon behind her, as if reading her mind.

Sooyoung gasped and spun on her heel and looked at Tiffany in disbelief. Tiffany and Taeyeon just stared back at her confused and Sooyoung shook her head, mentally scolding herself for over reacting.

“This is it!” Sunny continued, bringing the attention back to her. “This is the day we’ve waited for. I know all of you are nervous, but please remember this is our first stage. If we fall, they’ll be plenty of stages ahead of us to get back up so don’t get anxious. Now, can we get a few wise words from our leader?”

Everyone turned to Taeyeon who pointed at herself before clearing .

“Today is the start of our career as an idol…no singers. For many years we’ve trained for this very moment. I know the hours we put in until now were tiring and some of us may have had second thoughts but I know that we can pull this off even with our eyes closed. I believe in all of you.”

They stared at Taeyeon who wasn’t used to being the center of attention.

“So let’s just have fun and enjoy these few minutes so we can look back to them without regrets 10 years from now!”

The girls all cheered. They suddenly felt ready.

Taeyeon grinned, already looking forward to her role as a leader. The girls were back to being their normal goofy selves practicing their lines and chatting while the stylists adjusted their microphones.

Suddenly, a cold hand came upon her shoulder causing her to jump.

“Great job, leader,” Jessica said with a roll of the tongue.

Taeyeon laughed nervously still wondering if she was deserving of the title. Eventually the awkward tension was dispersed when one of their new managers called Taeyeon over to help put on her ear piece.

“Thanks, Sica! We can do this!”

“Totally,” Jessica laughed.

After they were done, Hyoyeon helped Taeyeon round the girls up in a circle for her last words of encouragement — mostly to herself — before going onstage.

“Okay. In less than 30 seconds we’ll be going on stage. I want everyone to know that whatever happens tonight, I’m proud of you guys.”

They all nodded before putting their hands together and chanting, “So! Nyuh! Shi! Dae! Let’s do this!”

The first thing Taeyeon noticed was the crowd of eager listeners waiting to see who this new girl group was. She could feel her body tense up with the lingering stage fright that she was starting to get over. Taking a deep breath, she slowly closed her eyes to block out the noise. One, two, three…she was ready.

Everything from the cheers, the mutters and giggles from the other groups backstage, to even the host that was introducing them made the moment even more surreal. Focusing on choreography the noises were hushed and all that was left was her and the stage.

The moment the music started playing, and the choreography started, the girls all let out one last giggle as their leader opened the song.

Before the girls even realized it, the chorus had already come to an end. Tiffany made a few mistakes during the choreography, but she prayed no one would notice. They watched Hyoyeon perform her dance solo, then the bridge came, and Taeyeon sang her high note and that was enough to get the crowd hyped up. The second chorus felt different than the first —Seohyun noted— she had forgotten about the crowd and decided to enjoy her stage, unable to rid herself of the huge smile on her face.

With the final bar, the girls stood still in their finishing pose. They had done it. Although they would be performing again tomorrow this stage was a once in a lifetime memory they would never forget.

Quick to get off the stage, the girls ran backstage. Out of the public eyes, the girls wanted to cheer but the tears of happiness poured out of their eyes. Bodies naturally found one another hugging in support of the same emotions. They had done well.

So many happy memories made in one night, but those things don’t last…do they?

“What is this? SM must be losing its touch.”

“Girls’ Generation? More like plastic generation.”

“They were lip syncing on their debut stage? I have never seen such an untalented girl group in my life.”

“What’s up with that Tiffany chick messing up the choreo? What did she even train for if she can't do her own debut choreo?”

Tiffany read comments like this for hours the next morning. She was curious of what the English speaking forums were saying about them, maybe their reaction was better than the Korean public’s, unfortunately for her, it wasn’t.

“Hate comments are normal, Unnie, don’t worry too much about it,” Seohyun told Tiffany as she entered the room.  “by the way, the shower’s ready.”

“Thanks, Hyunnie,” Tiffany slowly replied in broken Korean as she got out of bed and picked up her shower basket. Seohyun shook her head and wondered whether it was worth telling the other unnies about Tiffany’s fixation on the hate comments, but she decided against it.

“Wow they’re harsh,” Hyoyeon chuckled as she entered the room. “Fany, do you have my white shirt?”

“I think so, yeah,” Tiffany mumbled back absently.

“Where?!” The blonde girl inquired as she rummaged through Tiffany’s stuff.

“I don’t know….somewhere,” Tiffany motions with her hand, leaving the room with only a towel and her shower kit.

“She forgot her clothes,” Seohyun calmly pointed out. “Should I tell her?”

“Nah, she'll notice eventually,” Hyoyeon stands up, giving up. “What’s wrong with her?”

“Apparently forums are criticizing our performances,” Seohyun explained. “I already told her they don’t matter, that they’re always looking for someone to judge or make fun of.”

“And what did she say?”

“She told me that it was easy for me to say because I wasn’t the one who looked like a fool.”

“What is she even talking about?”

“According to her, everyone is talking about her looking ‘stiff’ next to you.”

“Oh!” Hyoyeon nodded. “So I guess me talking to her about it might not be the best idea. Should we tell Taeyeon? Maybe she can cheer her up or maybe Soo Yeon…”

“Wait, unnie! I think that’s actually a pretty good idea!” Seohyun exclaimed.

“You think so?” Hyoyeon grimaced.

“Yes!” Seohyun cried as she stood up and walked towards the closet. “Please talk to her, unnie!”

Seohyun started taking out clothes out of Tiffany’s drawers.

“What are you doing— hey! That’s my white shirt!”

“I’m bringing unnie her clothes, one less thing for her to worry about,” she said as she walked out.

Hyoyeon was left alone sitting in what she assumed was Seohyun’s bed. She shifted slightly and a small grin appeared in her face, “Wow…” Hyoyeon mumbled to herself. She admitted that she had never looked at little juhyun twice —she was too quiet for her liking— but slowly, she was beginning to realize how dependable and considerate their maknae was. Hyoyeon still wasn't sure if there would ever be a chance for them to become close but she was definitely taking a liking to her.

Hyoyeon was a person that naturally admired personalities that didn't resemble her. Hyoyeon wasn't an envious person, but she was aware that she wasn't necessarily the prettiest member in the group or the best vocalist. But, she was also aware that she had other abilities none of the other girls could even come close to.

“We complement each other,” Hyoyeon thought with a smile.

As if a lightbulb had inside her head, she realized exactly what she had to say to Tiffany to cheer her up, but she had to find the right time…

Their performance that day was tiring with the girls already being on the fourth stage since their debut and although Hyoyeon was slowly getting used to being on stage, having to prerecord the same song over 5 times really made it hard for her to fully enjoy it. After the recording was over, they all exited the stage into their waiting room but before they could go inside, Hyoyeon pulled Tiffany back.

“Hey!” Tiffany called out in her awkward Korean and Hyoyeon tried her best not to laugh.

Although she usually made fun of Tiffany’s Korean, she really admired her dedication to learn another language. Tiffany and Hyoyeon weren't really close since Tiffany usually only hung out with Taeyeon, Jessica and a younger trainee named Sulli, but she was adamant about making Tiffany smile again, “Tiffany, I need your help,” Hyoyeon said.

“I doubt it,” Tiffany muttered bitterly before continuing, “but I’m more than willing to try to help you out! What’s up, Hyoyeon?”

“I’m struggling to get this part of my dance break correctly and Taeyeon told me you have a really good eye for detail...”

“Sure! Show it to me!”

Hyoyeon did the quick popping movements of the choreography and Tiffany agreed something was clearly off about it. She thought about it for a short period of time and asked her to do it again.

“Hyo, when you do this part,” Tiffany moved her hands indicating which part of the choreography she was talking about, “You need to move your left foot back before going forward so it doesn't look so stiff or static.”

Tiffany stood next to Hyoyeon in front of the bathrooms mirror and showed her slowly how it was supposed to go. Her movements clearly weren't as smooth as Hyoyeon’s (or at all) but she managed to get the point across. Hyoyeon followed Tiffany’s instructions and then smiled triumphantly.

“Oh my god!” She cried. “Thank you, Fany! You really are good at this!”

“If only I could actually dance along to what I’m telling you to do….” Tiffany sighed.

“You’re a vocal though,” Hyoyeon thought out loud. “Who cares if your dancing’s not the smoothest? You can do it well enough and you’re helping me behind the scenes. If you ever want to practice the choreo, I’m here to help you!”

Tiffany hugged Hyoyeon abruptly. Hyoyeon awkwardly patted Tiffany’s back who was grinning enthusiastically.

“Thank you Hyoyeon, I will!” She gave Hyoyeon what was to become her “signature eye-smile” and skipped away leaving Hyoyeon alone again, chuckling at Tiffany’s antics. She was glad she could help. Tiffany really was something else!

“Wow, Hyoyeon, I never expected  such a kind gesture like this from you,” a voice called out after Tiffany left.

“You were watching?” Hyoyeon asked Sooyoung as she neared. Sooyoung nodded.

“Swallowing your pride to help Tiffany, that’s very unlike you.”

Hyoyeon chuckled because she never actually required Tiffany’s help. Although she was willing to fake a mistake for the sake of seeing Tiffany’s huge smile. Every drop of pride was pushed aside because the member’s happiness made it worth it.

“Yeah well we can’t have Tiffany's dancing ruin our performance, can we?”

“You’re saying that, but I don’t think you mean it,” Sooyoung giggled which made Hyoyeon blush.

“Look, Juhyun asked me to do it, okay?”

“And since when do you take orders from the youngest?” Sooyoung put her hand in her chin and started humming as if in deep thought.

Hyoyeon’s face was bright red which turned Sooyoung’s hums into a loud laugh.

“I’m just messing with you Hyo,” she put her hand on Hyoyeon’s shoulder. “I’m proud of you for doing that.”

Before Hyoyeon could reply one of their female managers called, “Hyoyeon, Sooyoung, we’re leaving for our next schedule!”

“Coming!” Hyoyeon yelled back.

Sooyoung gave her a small smile, she really saw a development in Hyoyeon's character that day. To think Hyoyeon could be such a team player, she was absolutely amazed. Maybe their group dynamic wouldn't be as dysfunctional as she, Yuri and Jessica had initially assumed it'd be. It was only a matter of time...