( A/N : "Italics" = talking in english)

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“Introduce yourself.”

“Hello. My name is Roseanne Park and I’m from Australia. Nice to meet you all.” Or Rosé for short. I moved to Seoul after some tragic events that happened to me and my life back in Australia. I don’t really want to talk about it right now or ever in the future. I’m not here to make friends, no. I just want to finish highschool and go back where I belong. Seoul is such a big and agglomerated city and my Korean also , which is kinda shameful coming from a Korean person. Yes, I’m Korean by blood but my heart is still Australian.

“Ok, Miss Park. Now go sit beside Miss Kim.” I looked around in the classroom and I saw only two seats free, one by the window beside a girl with long raven hair and pale skin complexion and one in the back beside a blonde girl that resembles a doll at the first sight. This school in Seoul that I’m attending it’s full of foreign students coming from all over the world. Good thing that I’m in my final year of highschool and I don’t need to tolerate them longer than that. I can see my fellow male classmates staring at me as I walk between the desks to get where I’m supposed to sit for the following year. Maybe it’s my ginger colored hair, or maybe the guitar that I’m carrying around. I don’t see students other than me and the Barbie girl sitting in the back of the class, with “weird” colored hair.

I placed my guitar on the floor, leaning it against the desk and my backpack on top of the desk before sitting down. This girl next to me keeps staring at me just like the boys, strange.

“I’m Kim Jisoo. Nice to meet you.” I just nodded at her words while looking for my history book inside my backpack. I swear I remember buying the book yesterday when I bought all the other ones I need this semester.

“You sure are shy, Roseanne.” Well, I am shy and the fact that my korean is not that great doesn’t help at all. I didn’t say anything back to this Jisoo girl, and with me ignoring her I hope she will stop talking.

“Here, we can share my book.” She said after the teacher begin talking about today’s lesson, half of which I didn’t even understand. I was about to speak up and thank her but the classroom’s door suddenly bursted open interrupting the whole class. It was a girl, our classmate I suppose, looking absolutely miserable with her hair up in a messy ponytail and her uniform all wrinkled.

“You’re late again. Why is that Miss Kim ?” The teacher asked the girl that just entered. She must be the school’s troublemaker or something.

“Hey Jennie, the party from last night was wild, huh ?” The girl beside me laughed, looking at the guilty brunette.

“I’m sorry, I slept in.” Jennie told the teacher before coming our way. The teacher only shook his head , probably used to the girl being late. She stopped when she was in front of my desk and begin looking at me. What’s up with all the people today staring at me ? Do I stand out that much ? Should I dye my hair back to my natural color ? I can feel her eyes burning me so I looked at her for a second before bringing my eyes back to the book. Damn, she’s pretty from up close. Even with no make-up and messy hair she still managed to look great. Lucky her.

“Go back to your seat, Jennie.” The teacher told her before turning around and continuing writing whatever things about history on the blackboard. She immediately rushed to the back of the class before sitting down and taking out all sorts of make-up items from her bag.

 As she was looking at herself in a small mirror her desk mate, the Barbie girl, whispered something to her that made her stop what she was doing only to look at me. They both were looking at me and soon enough I realised that I was the one staring at her this time. The moment she passed by my desk and up until now I was creeping on her. What got into me ?

----

For more than half an hour I was struggling to understand what on earth was the teacher talking about but I couldn’t focus. Korean language sounds like gibberish to me and it’s not worth paying attention to the lesson when I know I’m going to fail all my classes anyways; all except English. I used to be a straight A student back in Australia but the language barrier here won’t let my grades to be maintained that way. I don’t understand why this school, if it’s for foreign students, won’t teach the classes in English. It’s frustrating.

The bell already rang but I’m still here in the classroom trying to write everything the teacher wrote on the blackboard, at least trying to do so.

“Hey, Jennie. Wanna hang out after school with me and the other guys ?” I can hear a boy’s voice coming from behind .

“Yeah, cool. Lisa, Jisoo ?” Jennie asked the two girls, making my desk mate all excited. “Yes !”

“What about you new girl. Wanna come with us ?” She got up from her seat and came beside my desk, waiting for my answer. I panicked all of a sudden and quickly packed everything that I had on the desk in my bag before getting up from the chair. I looked at her for a moment, her arms crossed at her chest and one of her eyebrows arched higher than the other, looking at me with impatience.

“No.”  was the only thing I said before rushing out the classroom, not forgetting to get my guitar along with my bag.

----

It’s been a week since I started school here in Korea and it’s been quite stressful. I decided that I won’t let my grades drop just because of me being stupid and not understanding Korean, so I bought a few text books and a dictionary to learn from.

“You’re here.” Someone said as I was unpacking the books I mentioned earlier. I heard a few students talking about this place, a greenhouse located on the rooftop of our school. I think this is the only quiet place in the entire school; even the library is noisy which really annoys me. It’s nice here and warm, the scent of roses fill the whole enclosure to a point where you can’t smell fragrances other than the roses themselves. From the entrance of the greenhouse up to the other side, a brick path makes its way through the greenery, leading to a white table and two chairs right in the middle of the four glass walls and glass roof.

I decided to spend my time here from now on to study after school but someone had to interrupt my very first day, making all my inner peace disappear completely. And guess who is this person ? The one and only Jennie ,of course.

“I was looking for you everywhere. What are you doing here ?” I looked at her as she was approaching the table. She sat down in front of me, not even bothering to ask if I want her to accompany me or not. She looked at the books on the table before looking at me, her lips arching sideways forming a lopsided smile. Damn, she’s pretty. I haven’t seen her since last Monday when she looked like a total mess but now, she looks absolutely stunning. Her uniform is clean and neat, with her white shirt tucked inside the red checkered skirt, the black blazer with the school’s emblem embroidered on her chest hugs her body perfectly and the red tie around her neck is a little bit loose so it won’t choke her. To all of this, she had her hair straightened, parted down the middle and tucked behind her ears. On the lower half of her body she had high combat boots and black socks just above her knees, giving her whole look a ‘I’m a rebel forced to wear uniform’ kind of feel. Well it’s obvious that she’s a rebel, she skipped school for four days in a row last week.

“Just tell me when you’re done studying me so we can actually start studying Korean together.”

“Eh?”

“I can see a lot of books here, do you want me to help?” I looked away blushing at what she just said but nodded anyways. Something inside me wants her to be here for some odd reasons and I can’t figure out why.

“You got me interested in you, Rosie. That’s why I was looking for you.” She took my notebook and begin looking through the Korean lessons I’ve done so far hiding her face behind it; I can feel that she got embarrassed about her words even without looking at her. She paused talking for a few moments before opening again.

“You don’t seem to talk that much.”

“Why are you interested in me? I don’t want to befriend anyone.”  I finally spoke up after an eternity, or at least that’s what the few minutes of awkward silence felt like.

“Let’s not talk about that right now and just focus on studying.”

----

We studied here in the greenhouse every single day after school for the past month. She helped me a lot with my Korean and now I can finally understand almost every detail about the lectures during our classes. She gives me small quizzes every Friday about language and grammar to test my skills and she also stopped talking in English with me just after a week she started tutoring me. It was difficult at first  but she helped me overcome it, making the speaking in Korean part easier with each day passing by. She’s a really good tutor and knows how to make everything simple.

“Will you play the guitar for me, please ?” I just shook my head at her request. I think she asked me at least a thousand times to play the guitar since she started tutoring me but I refused every time. I don’t feel confident enough or even know what song to play for her, plus I don’t want to make a fool out of myself in front of her.

“Then tell me, why are you always so sad?  Yeah sure, you smile and laugh sometimes but your eyes carry this sadness that really makes me feel awful. I hate seeing you like this, Rosie.” I took a deep breath before getting everything out. I never really told anybody about this but somehow I managed to open up to her. I don’t know, she just makes me feel comfortable and safe. She’s such a kind person and she helped me so much without asking anything in return.

So I told her the whole story. I told her how my mom died in a car accident and how we moved to Seoul afterwards. My dad blamed everything on me saying I’m the reason why mom died. I feel guilty sometimes because I’m the one who told her to pick me up from one of my friends’ house. My mom was on her way to pick me up when a truck crushed into her car, killing her right there and then. I was traumatised after the event for a few weeks but slowly things got better for me. I can’t say the same for my dad, he became an alcoholic, he’s always angry and always fighting with me, but I got used to that too. I just lock myself inside my bedroom and don’t pay any attention to him. I know it hurts him as much as it hurts me, but I can’t do anything to help him if I can’t talk with him without him getting mad. I hope that time will heal him and he will find someone to help him forget everything.

“Can I hug you?” Normally people don’t ask questions like that when similar situations to this one occur but I was an idiot and I told her that I don’t like skinship when she tried to hug me a few days ago. I just nodded my head and let her body embrace mine. This right here, this moment feels so damn right. Her arms, both around my shoulders feel like heaven. She brought one of her hand to the back of my head, making my head rest in the crook of her neck and gently massaging my scalp with the tip of her fingers. I couldn’t do anything else but wrap my arms around her waist, tightly.

“I am so sorry. Everything it’s going to be alright, I promise you.” She whispered. I didn’t say anything, I just want to enjoy every single bit of this moment and the warmth she’s giving me.

“Please don’t cry, Rosie.” I swear, every time she says my name I melt. Her voice is the most beautiful thing I heard in my entire life and I never thought that is possible something like this; to fell in love with the way someone talks. I don’t even know how to describe it, it’s so soft, so gentle and sometimes her voice trembles when we talk, only making her ten times cuter than she already is.

“I have no reason to cry as long as you are here with me.”

----

“Why are you being like this, Jennie ? What happened to us ? I thought we are friends.”

“Us ? Friends ? I was your tutor, nothing more, nothing less. Now that you learned everything you need to know, there are no more reasons for us to hang out together.” That hurts.

“But—“

“We’re done with this conversation, Roseanne.” I looked at her as she walks out of the cafeteria, followed by Lisa who apologised to me before walking away. She is the only one who knows what happened to Jennie and her behavior towards me, but she refuses to tell me or even Jisoo. The four of us used to hang out all the time during lunch break and sometimes after school, but one day something happened to Jennie that made her hate me. Well, she didn’t tell me personally that she hates me but I can feel she does. She stopped coming to the green house, she stopped replying my texts and she begin ignoring me completely.

“This girl, she’s always so stubborn. Here Rosé, eat some pasta.” Jisoo made me sit down at the table but I really don’t feel like eating. I learned a few things about Jennie these weeks while hanging out with Jisoo; I learned that she and Lisa are childhood friends and that’s why their bond is so strong and I can see that, they are together all the time. I also learned that Jisoo has a mom-like personality, she’s always scolding the two of them when they do something stupid that’s why Jennie didn’t tell Jisoo what is happening to her. The three of them are very good friends and I was lucky enough to be accepted by them -mostly by Jisoo and Lisa- and to get to be part of their group. About Lisa, just like I said before, she’s a Barbie doll. Tall, skinny, blonde, charismatic, smart, talented;  she turns heads everywhere she goes with her exotic looks and her charms. I think more than half of the students from this school -both boys and girls- have a crush on her.

“Hey, Rosé. Can I ask you something ?” I looked at Jisoo confused but nodded my head anyway. “Do you like Jennie?” I shook my head before saying: “I fell in love with her.”

----

“What are you doing here ? Where is Jisoo ?” Jennie and I are alone in the classroom. Jisoo told me to confess my feelings to the brunette girl that I oh so much adore. I have nothing to lose, she already hates me but at least she’s going to know. I wrote her a song. I started writing it soon after we grew apart from each other; a song I hold dear to my heart because it contains all of my feelings and my desires.

Jisoo told Jennie that they are going to meet in our classroom after PE class because if I would have asked her, she wouldn’t show up. Instead, Jisoo ran away with Lisa somewhere -around the school- saying she’s going to inform the blonde about what is going to happen.

“For how long we haven’t talked to each other? Five, maybe six weeks ? I lost count but that doesn’t matter now.  Right now I just want you to listen to what I have to say. Please, sit down.” She did as told her and sat down on a chair from the front row of desks. I can’t read any expression on her face other than confusion.

“You always asked me to play the guitar for you, so here I go…

So easily, with harsh words
You put scars in my heart
Without even saying sorry
Again, I’m comforting myself
Always nervous
If you’re gonna leave me
I just want you to stay

[…] “

I begin the strings of my guitar as I let my voice flow through the empty classroom. I never broke eye contact with the girl in front of me but I can see her looking away half way into the song. I don’t mind it, I know she probably hates being here right now, listening to all of this nonsense. She probably thinks that I’m a lunatic, singing her a love song that maybe for her means nothing but for me means everything. This is my first time confessing my feelings to someone and it’s the first time I’m actually scared of losing someone. Mother, thank you for teaching me how to play the guitar and for gifting me with a beautiful voice just like yours so I can share this moment with the person I love the most, beside you. I got used to the fact that I lost you but I can’t live with the idea of losing Jennie too. Please forgive me…  And mom, please give me strength to get over all of this.

“[…]

Lalalalalala Lalalalalala Lalalalalala
Lalalalalala Lalalalalala Lalalalalala
I don’t expect a lot right now
Just stay with me.” ( A/N : it’s BLACKPINK’s song ‘Stay’. I think you figured it out already ;) )

All my emotions overwhelmed me and on the final high note my voice cracked. I can feel tears streaming down my face, my body shaking and my heart beating with the speed of light. I continue looking at her and her silence says it all. I failed, but it’s ok. Life moves forward. I didn't had high expectations from her anyway.

“That’s all I wanted you to know. See you around, Jennie.” I said before packing the guitar in its case and leaving the classroom. I walked through the school with a heavy heart and a blank mind. I have no destination in my head where to go but my feet brought me to the rooftop.

It started snowing, reminding me that I’ll finish my first semester soon. After that, one more to go and I can finally go back to Australia and leave this chapter of my life behind. I’m tired of fighting and hoping; I just want to forget everything, like it never really happened. I just want to—

“Rosie !”

I looked behind me and I saw her standing there in the door frame before approaching me, the next thing she did surprised me. She cupped my face and placed her lips on mine. It was innocent and simple, sweet and gentle. It lasted only a few seconds before she parted away from the kiss. I can’t help myself but let my tears roll down on my checks again and before I can say something she took my hand and brought me inside the green house. She placed my guitar on the floor and cupped my face again. I can see her red and teary eyes looking back at me; maybe she cried too on her way here from the classroom.

“Please don’t cry, Rosie. I’m here now and I’ll promise you I won’t leave you again. I was such a fool, I’m sorry. I thought that by ignoring you and being rude to you, my love for you would disappear but that never happened. I love you, Rosie and I finally have the courage to tell you. I denied it at first and I told myself that it’s only a insignificant crush. I was afraid that you will reject me. I’m sorry for being a coward and for making you suffer. I –“

“Shh…”  I made her quiet by placing my index fingers on her lips, this girl can talk so much sometimes. “I love you too, Jennie.”  She smiled at me before leaning in to kiss me again but…

*knock knock*

“Come on, you lovebirds! We’re going to be late for our next class if we don’t hurry. Lunch break don’t last that long, you know ?” We looked at the two girls in front of us, blushing. I was about to pick up the guitar from the floor but Jennie stopped me. “Just leave it here. We’re going to come back after class so you can sing some more for me.” I just smiled and nodded my head at her.

“ ‘Sing’. What a nice word to use instead of the naughty one. Congratulation, by the way.” Lisa grinned making me and Jisoo laugh and leaving Jennie red as a tomato. The three of us laughed at the girl's cuteness before heading back to class.

… I think I can get used to live (my life) the rest of my life here in Seoul after all.