kairos
/ˈkīräs/

noun

1. the perfect, delicate, crucial moment; the fleeting rightness of time and place that creates the opportune atmosphere for action, words, or movement.

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His blank faced, empty eyed, unfamiliar reflection stares back at him. Baekhyun tightens his grip on the sides of the bathroom sink until his knuckles are straining from the effort.

This whole past month had been an absolute nightmare. With EXO's comeback fast approaching, everyone's tension level seemed to skyrocket. The managers had been ing at them and calling them out 24/7. Everyone seemed to be getting on each other's nerves due to the stress and you had to tread carefully around the dorm lest you set someone off. On top of that, Baekhyun had spent the past hour scrolling through negative comments about him and EXO on social media and his morale was unhealthily low. Nothing he did seemed to work. He couldn't get the choreography down right and was having difficulty with certain notes of the title track. His diet was killing him and his workouts were gruesome. By this point, he was literally hanging onto his last thread of sanity.

And the last straw had been earlier today when he'd accidentally overheard the managers discussing how Yixing was most probably not going to be included in the comeback. Instead, he was to head back to China and stay there for god knows how long.

Baekhyun doesn't think he'll be able to bear the things that will be said about Yixing when the public finds out he won’t be in the comeback. If he'shaving a hard time, how will his hyung feel? He doesn't want to see Yixing hurt again.

Letting out a deep, shuddery sigh, Baekhyun's gaze falls on the razor resting on the side of the sink. For a split second, a wonderful, terrible idea flits through his mind. A spike of adrenaline shoots through him at what he can potentially do with the blade. He can finally have some form of thecontrol he lusts after. Control over all the chaos. His fingers itch to carry out the deed and just as he reaches for the razor, his phone buzzes in his pocket, startling him out of his stupor. As he pulls the phone out, his hands tremble as the weight of what he'd been about to do, hits him.

Taking a bracing breath, he looks at the screen. It's a text from Yixing.

Yixing

You awake?

Baekhyun lets out a watery smile at that. Yixing—always to the rescue, whether he knows it or not. He types out his reply:

Baekhyun

Course. Why do u ask?

Yixing

Would you be willing to meet me at the recording studio?

Baekhyun

At this time?!!?!?

Yixing

It's not like we haven't stayed even later for work

Baekyun

Yeah… but that's work…

Yixing

Baek please. Just this once? For your favorite hyung ?

Baekhyun

*sighs* Well… if you put it that way… Fine. But this better be worth it

Yixing

Yay!!! ☺☺☺ Thank you Baekhyun-ah!! ily ♥♥♥

Baekhyun

Trust me, I know. I'll be there in 10

-

Using the key he borrowed from Chanyeol, Baekhyun lets himself into the dark building. Yeol had given him a knowing smile when Baekhyun had asked for the key, explaining that he needed it to meet Yixing. It's common knowledge amongst the group that Kyungsoo and Chanyeol spend a lot of nights in the recording studio when they need some time alone. Some of the nights are dedicated to music and others to… things he really doesn't want to imagine his bandmates doing.

Baekhyun snickers to himself as he rides up in the elevator. Everyone in this group is ing gay.

He steps out into the hall and makes his way to the only studio with the lights currently on. Peeking in through the glass, he sees Yixing—sitting with his laptop, headphones on, his back to Baekhyun. He hasn't noticed Baekhyun's arrival.

Cackling evilly to himself, Baekhyun stealthily creeps closer to Yixing from behind. At a silent count of three, he pounces, covers Yixing's eyes with one hand and pulls the earphones off with the other. Yixing visibly jumps in his chair and lets out an adorable little squeak.

Baekhyun leans in, mouth slightly brushing Yixing’s ear, and whispers in a voice so low it surprises himself, "Guess who."

He chooses to ignore the following shudder that passes through Yixing's body but relishes in it nonetheless. He has this effect on the other man. Him and no one else.

Yixing prises Baekhyun's hand off of his face and looks up at him, "Jesus Baekhyun! I thought you were—"

"A serial killer? A monster? A dinosaur? " Baekhyun interrupts cheekily.

Yixing scoffs unconvincingly, "Don't be ridiculous."

"You were frightened to death, hyung. Stop pretending otherwise. And anyway, this is comeback for all those times you've sneaked up on me."

Yixing rolls his eyes.

Baekhyun just beams even brighter and opens his arms wide, "Here—I'll give you a hug to make up for it."

Despite raising his eyebrows sardonically, Yixing nevertheless rolls his chair closer, wraps his arms around Baekhyun's middle and pulls him close so abruptly that Baekhyun literally falls into the embrace. Yixing presses tightly against him and rests his head on Baekhyun's tummy. Hiding his face in his shirt, he murmurs, just barely audible, "You scared me."

Chuckling lovingly, Baekhyun his hair, "I know. I can't promise I won't do it again but I am a little sorry." He leans down and places a kiss on top of Yixing's head.

After a minute, he reluctantly pulls away to look at Yixing's face. ( God, the man is absolutely irresistible with his pouty lips that look invitingly soft and his warm, sleepy eyes and tousled hair.)

He asks, "So what did I absolutely have to come over here for at this time of night?"

Yixing smiles up at him, "We're going to record a song together. Well—a cover of an English song, to be more exact."

It takes a moment for Baekhyun to fully process what he's saying and Yixing seems to take his silence as hesitation and rushes to continue speaking.

"Not that you have to do it if you don't want to! I just—I thought it'd be a nice thing for us to do together. Kinda like what Soo and Yeol did. Something that would be ours and ours alone. We've never really explicitly sung something by ourselves, just the two of us and I kind of wanted to share the experience with you. Like—a special memory sort of thing, you know? If you don't want to, we really don't have to. I understand—" Yixing rambles.

Baekhyun has to internally struggle to stop himself from just grabbing Yixing's irritatingly beautiful face between his hands, leaning forward, and kissing him senseless.

It's just so cute. His uncertainty is ing endearing as hell and Baekhyun just wants to wrap him up in his arms and never let go. This man deserves the world.

Instead, he leans forward and grabs Yixing's hand (he's gesticulating wildly, with his hands all over the place) and holds it tightly in his own.

"Hyung, hyung. Calm down. I'd absolutely love to record a song with you. I can't even begin to explain to you how much this means to me. It's rather… romantic too, don't you think?" Baekhyun smiles slyly.

After a moment, Yixing seems to register what he's saying and blushes.

God, he's so weak for this man.

"Well—umm… hehe," Yixing laughs nervously and runs a hand through his hair. "Anyway, we never get any free time so I thought this would be as good a chance as any. I also thought that whenever I'm gone, you could… maybe… listen to the song and remember me? Remember what we made together?" he stammers.

Baekhyun doesn't understand how someone this perfect can even be human.

Smiling lovingly, he reaches out and gently tweaks Yixing's nose, "You don't need to sound so uncertain. I think it's a lovely idea."

Yixing's returns his smile with one of his own. (It's filled with relief). Baekhyun's heart swells at the thought that Yixing cares for him so ing much and that he was this nervous about pitching the idea because it means so much to him.

Baekhyun pulls up a chair beside Yixing and sits down. "So what's the song?" he asks.

"Well we can always change it if you like but umm… do you remember that song I showed you a couple weeks ago that day that our schedule for the afternoon was cancelled because of a thunderstorm?"

"Hmm… oh! That song sung by the girl with the blue hair and really good voice?"

"Yeah, that's the one. It's called Devil In Me and the woman's name is Halsey. You seemed to like it a lot so I thought…"

"Ooh. We're gonna cover that?" Baekhyun is practically jumping up and down with excitement. "Sounds great!"

Yixing beams, "Great! Cause I've already got the music and everything all put together."

"Ahh, Zhang Yixing, the greatest composer of our time."

Yixing blushes again, "Don't say that. There's plenty of people who are better than me."

"Well I think you're the best and that's all that really matters."

Yixing chuckles, "Well your confidence in me is much appreciated, Baekhyun-ah. Anyway, let's listen to the song once more and then we can work on the lyrics. I warn you though, this'll probably take more than one night."

"That's totally fine, hyung. Just means I get to spend more time alone with you!"

"You literally sleep in the same bed as me."

"Still not enough."

Despite rolling his eyes, Yixing still can't contain his smile.

"Okay, so let's hear it. The song," Baekhyun says.

Yixing obligingly presses play, and a bittersweet melody fills the air. The emotion in the singer's voice instantly reminds Baekhyun why he liked this song so much in the first place. They sit there in silence, bathing in the haunting music. When the song fades away, they're left with a heavy silence before Baekhyun breaks it.

"Wow," he breathes. "What is she singing about? Do you know?"

"It's about her finding herself after breaking off an unhealthy relationship. The person she was with, used to call her real personality 'the devil in her' and would categorize the loud parts, the parts that are obnoxious, as something bad. They refused to accept her for who she was and would try to repress her and hold her down. Now, after moving on, she's recovering and learning to be true to herself."

Baekhyun just stares awestruck at Yixing after he falls silent.

Suddenly, Yixing shakes his head and looks away, embarrassed. "I'm sorry. That was probably an absolutely terrible explanation—not to mention cheesy as hell," he says.

"No! " Baekhyun practically shouts. Yixing looks up at him, slightly shocked. It's Baekhyun's turn to look sheepish.

"No," he repeats, more softly this time. "It was a wonderful explanation. Powerful."

"Oh," Yixing smiles hesitantly. "Well, that's good. Umm… but yeah. Basically. As a whole, the song portrays the so-called demons that reside inside us all and the internal conflict we all face. Most of all, it's talking about accepting those demons as a part of who we are and instead working to be happy with who you are as a whole."

Baekhyun lets out a low whistle. "Damn. I'm impressed."

Chuckling, Yixing replies, "Well, it is impressive. Anyway, here—" he hands Baekhyun a sheet of paper. "It's a copy of the lyrics."

Baekhyun accepts the paper and studies the unfamiliar foreign words while Yixing talks.

"So we obviously won't be able to finish this tonight but I was thinking we could get started with the chorus cause it's more repetitive, which makes it simpler. I'll help you learn the lyrics and then we can record a few attempts of you singing the chorus and see how it goes from there."

Baekhyun nods, "Sounds good. I'm impressed. You seem to have this all planned out."

Smiling shyly, Yixing replies, "I tried my best. I divided up the lyrics and highlighted which parts you're going to sing."

After taking a moment to look at the highlighted portions, Baekhyun looks sharply up at Yixing, "But… from what I see, you're not even singing one chorus."

"You have a much better voice than me Baekhyun. I thought you should be the one—"

Baekhyun interrupts, "Oh c'mon. We're doing this fairly. This isn't SM. You're going to get more than two lines because I want to hear you ing sing. I love your voice. I'd pay an unimaginable amount of money if I could get to have you sing me to sleep every night with that sweet voice of yours."

Yixing just looked back at him disbelievingly.

"I'm serious! You have your own solo album with another one on the way. Surely you know how good of a singer you are!" Baekhyun exclaims, not quite able to believe the situation.

"I guess… I'm not bad. But nowhere near as good as you or Jongdae or Kyungsoo."

"You shut up with all this nonsense right now or I will shut you up. And besides, look at your dancing. I'm terrible compared to you!"

Smiling, Yixing replies, "I'm not gonna argue with that."

"Hey! You're not supposed to agree with me."

Yixing ruffles his hair placatingly. "You know, I would if I could—sing you to sleep that is. But the other members would probably get mad at me for keeping them up," he says.

Baekhyun blushes, "I'm going to hold you to that. Now whenever I can't sleep, I'll ask you to sing to me."

"Anything for you, Baekhyun."

The moment following Yixing's declaration is one of those rare moments in life when time seems to slow down and it's just you and the person in front of you. As you look into their eyes, you feel like you can take on the world. Nothing—no one can stop you. No one can get in your way. You are free. You are loved.

-

After a little more pouting on Baekhyun's part, Yixing had agreed to let him modify the lyric distribution and to sing at least one of the choruses.

"I don't wanna wake it up

I don't wanna wake it up

The devil in me

Gotta wake up, gotta wake up

Gotta wake up, gotta wake up

Gotta wake up, come back to life"

Baekhyun locks eyes with Yixing through the recording studio's glass. He's singing the chorus and he's proud that he's managed to get through it without stumbling once on the English words (after much practice).

But wait—does Yixing have… tears in his eyes?

Baekhyun looks away long enough to take off his headphones and set them on the table. He exits the room and makes his way over to the table that Yixing's sitting at.

Placing a light hand on his shoulder, Baekhyun waits. Yixing's refusing to look at him. After another moment passes, Baekhyun gently tilts Yixing's face towards him so he can look him in the eye.

The older man's eyes are red and shiny with unshed tears.

"Why're you crying?" Baekhyun asks softly.

"I'm not—I'm not crying," Yixing chokes out.

Baekhyun just raises an eyebrow pointedly.

"It's just—you really do have the voice of an angel. It's so beautiful. You're so beautiful. You take my breath away." Yixing blushes in embarrassment. "Ignore me, I'm being all sappy," he says.

Baekhyun pulls him into a tight hug before he can say anything else. For a minute, they just sit there. Listening to each other's breathing in the dead silent room. Baekhyun's standing up so Yixing's head is pressed against his chest.

"I can hear your heartbeat," Yixing says quietly.

Baekhyun mentally curses himself because his heart's beating a mile a minute at the moment.

"It's… comforting. You have a nice heartbeat," Yixing smiles crookedly up at him.

"Umm… okay?" Despite his confusion, Baekhyun smiles. He leans down, presses a kiss to the tip of Yixing's ear, and tucks a strand of hair behind it. "Uh… you have a nice heartbeat too. I think." And surprisingly, he means it.

Yixing beams, "Thanks."

Baekhyun knows what Yixing means though—by saying his heartbeat's comforting. He understands from all those nights he's fallen asleep with his head pillowed on Yixing's chest. There's something unimaginably grounding about hearing the steady pulse of someone's heart. Especially someone you love.

In this moment, the pain and misery of the past month seems to fade a bit. Seems a little less harsh. A little more bearable. He has something to hold on to. Someone to hold on to him.

"We should probably get back to recording if we want this finished by the end of the week." Before you have to leave again, is unspoken but both of them know that they're thinking it.

"Let's take a break, actually. I brought donuts!" Yixing exclaims.

The scene fades with a shot of Baekhyun jumping up and down eagerly and smudging powdered sugar on both their noses.

I could get used to this, he thinks.

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It took me FOREVER to pick the song they would cover and I'm still not sure about it. (I had to choose from the 600 something songs on my spotify lmao). I kept on rediscovering old songs and getting sidetracked. It was terrible. (side note: one of my favorite kpop covers is the one for Fools by Troye Sivan that Namjoon did.) I ended up watching a bunch of 'Baekhyun singing' compilations and tearing up bc this boy really does have the voice of an angel. (Also, I think Yixing's voice is highly underrated bc damn this child can hit those high notes.) I actually really want to hear Baekhyun cover Hello by Adele. I feel like his voice is perfect for it. Anyway, one more chapter to go, folks!

Comments are appreciated! <3