note: donghyuck is genderfluid in this fic

"Can I paint your nails?"

Mark looks away from the laptop screen, glancing down at Donghyuck, who's lying in his lap, eyes still fixed on the movie. They were supposed to study for an upcoming test but somehow in the middle of it they ended up watching Storks on Donghyuck's laptop. Mark at first protested to the idea but Donghyuck insisted he needed a break. He also insisted he absolutely had to lie in Mark's lap.

"What?" he asks, wondering if he misheard.

"Can I paint your nails?" Donghyuck repeats. For a moment, Mark just stares at the side of Donghyuck's face, at the curve of his eyelashes, the line of his nose, the way his upper lip juts out just a bit over the lower. He's not sure why Donghyuck wants to do it but he knows certain things have a deeper meaning for Donghyuck than he could ever understand, and well, it's not like having his nails painted is going to hurt him in any way.

"Sure?"

Donghyuck smiles and raises himself off his lap. Mark finds he misses the warmth— he used to think he was indulging Donghyuck in his need for skinship, but now he likes it when Donghyuck does that— and he sometimes even misses it when he doesn’t. The weight of Donghyuck's body feels nice on his lap. Secure.

Donghyuck slides off the bed to rummage through one of his desk drawers; he's back after a moment, and he sits cross-legged next to Mark.

"Give me your hand." Mark obeys and Donghyuck puts his hand on his lap. Mark tries to focus on the movie, but it's not even half as interesting without Donghyuck's sarcastic comments, and the strong scent of nail polish keeps distracting him. And... he's curious. He knows Donghyuck has quite a lot experience with it and he won't mess up, he's just intrigued about the outcome. It's not like he's ever worn nail polish before.

"There," Donghyuck says once he's done with Mark's left hand. "Careful, it hasn't dried yet. Give me your other hand."

Mark obliges. He stares at his left hand in wonder. The nail polish is light pink; Donghyuck did a good job with it, and it looks surprisingly nice. It's strange to him, to see his nails painted like that— he wonders if people who do it often get used to it. He can't help but keep staring.

"You have really pretty hands," Donghyuck comments. Mark glances at him, startled— Donghyuck is focused on the task at hand, his brows furrowed as he paint's Mark's thumb. "And pink suits you. It doesn't suit me at all so I thought I'd use it on you."

Mark is still flustered by the sudden compliment but he immediately wants to protest— he thinks any color suits Donghyuck just fine. Then again, Donghyuck probably knows better. "Guess you like red more, huh?"

Donghyuck beams at him. "Exactly. But I'm good with most colors."

Mark is watching a ridiculous scene with wolves fighting over a baby— he usually loves animated movies but if he's honest, this one isn't really all that funny— when Donghyuck announces that he's done. Mark looks at his hands. He still finds it a bit weird but not in a bad way.

"It's... pretty," he says. He glances at Donghyuck, feeling shy for a reason he can't grasp. "Um, thanks."

Donghyuck smiles at him brightly. "Of course it's pretty, I did it!" Despite the playfulness, there's something shining in his eyes, and though Mark doesn't quite understand what it is, Donghyuck seems really happy, so he's glad he agreed.

"So, can I paint your toes too?"

Mark raises his eyebrows, amused. "What about the movie?"

"To be honest, babies creep the out of me."

"Hey, don't say that." Mark sighs, not even bothering to comment on the language; it's not like Donghyuck ever listens. "Technically, you're still a baby."

"I'm an especially adorable baby though. Now take off your socks."

*

The first time he sees Dongsook, it's in the park near the place he's recently rented a room in. It's his first visit here; if he's honest, he doesn't like it as much as the park near his place in Toronto, but it's nice enough, and it feels good to relax among the trees. He stops to watch a group of kids play basketball on one of the park's courts.

One of them catches his eye. He has to admit at first it's the girl’s legs— she's fairly tall, she's wearing a tie front shirt and shorts; her skin is tanned and her legs are long and pretty. But then he finds himself mesmerized by her enthusiasm. The kids aren’t that good, but the girl is definitely giving it all and having fun while at it, laughing, her pigtails messed up by the wind. She's cute. Mark doesn't believe in love at first sight, but it doesn't change the fact that he ends up sitting on one of the nearby benches and just watching. The girl's laughter makes him think of a sunny beach on a windy day, of the smell of the sea, the taste of salt in your mouth, the feeling of hot sand against the soles of your feet.

He suddenly feels like writing.

He's startled out of his thoughts when the girl trips and falls down. He instinctively jumps to his feet, then, embarrassed, sits back down— it's really none of his business. Thankfully it doesn't seem anyone's noticed. The girl is crouching, holding onto her knee, but she's already smiling, shaking her head reassuringly as her friends gather around her. A moment later she leaves the court and heads— right to the bench Mark is sitting on.

Mark stiffens but before he can remember to look somewhere else, their eyes meet and the girl smiles at him.

"Ah, it ing hurts, holy ," she moans, flopping down on the bench next to him and stretching her legs. Mark is startled by the swearing, but then the girl's knee captures his attention. The scratch looks nasty— the wound is dirty and there are small droplets of blood forming here and there. He frowns. It really does look painful.

"Uh, I have... do you want wet wipes?"

The girl beams at him. "Really? That'd help! I mean, I could just go home, I live literally right next to the park but," she sighs, "we only just started and I didn't get to kick anyone's ."

Mark finds himself smiling as he looks through his bag. The girl's enthusiasm makes him want to join in. "Here," he hands her the package.

"Thanks, you're a lifesaver!" She gives him the most brilliant smile, then proceeds to wipe her knee clean. "I saw you watch us play. Are you new around here? I don't think I've seen you around before. I mean, Seoul is huge but this park, not so much."

"I moved to Seoul a few months ago," Mark explains. "I'm from Canada. The name's Mark, by the way. I'm, uh, 20 years old."

"Then you're an oppa." She glances at him with a smile. "My name's Dongsook. Canada, huh? What's it like there? I'm originally from Jeju, but Canada's like, light years away from here. Do you like it here? What made you wanna come here?"

Mark pauses— that's a lot of questions all at once. But then he starts talking, slowly answering them all— and that's how they become friends.

*

"You're holding that like it's going to bite you," Donghyuck teases, looking up from where he's sitting on the floor, sorting through the clothes scattered all over the room. Mark feels the blood rush to his face. While entering Donghyuck's room, he almost tripped on something, and he automatically picked it up. It turned out to be a bra. A frilly, lacey bra. "It's just a bra," Donghyuck informs him, as if Mark hasn't already noticed.

"Yeah, I've noticed," Mark mutters and hands it to Donghyuck. Donghyuck grabs it, his eyes twinkling playfully.

"Maybe you should try wearing one."

"Why— why would I do that?"

"To see they're not that terrifying and probably won't swallow you whole the moment you touch them?"

"Well... but it's not like I need them." Donghyuck's face falls and he drops his eyes to the clothes again, slowly folding a sweatshirt. "I mean— I don't mean physically, just..." He trails off, biting his lip. He's probably only making things worse.  "...sorry."

"It's okay," Donghyuck replies, but he doesn't smile. Sometimes Mark doesn't know the right words to say, but Donghyuck usually is quick to brush him off for worrying too much. Right now, though, he's quiet, obviously not in the mood to reassure or explain.

"Anyway... weren't you supposed to go out?" Mark glances at the bed but in the end he opts for sitting on the floor next to Donghyuck. Earlier today, Donghyuck told him he was meeting a friend after classes, but then he sent Mark a message asking him to come.

"Well, I didn't go out, as you can see," Donghyuck replies dryly. Mark flinches at the tone— the atmosphere turns even more tense. He's now a little upset at Donghyuck for asking him to come then acting like a complete headass, but more than that, he's worried.

He leans in until their faces are so close to each other that Donghyuck has no choice but meet his eyes. "Hey, man, what's wrong?" he asks gently. Donghyuck's eyes widen and he moves away, wrapping his arms around himself, expression troubled. Mark pauses, thinking— and then it hits him.

Donghyuck is wearing plain sweatpants and a t-shirt, but the clothes don't mean anything— it's not like girls don't dress like that at home. By now, Mark is usually able to tell by the way Donghyuck behaves, though sometimes he still gets it wrong. But earlier today, it was definitely Donghyuck, and right now, there were no hints that would tell him anything, so he got it wrong.

"Wait, are you... Dongsookie?"

Donghyuck freezes, then nods slowly. "Sorry," he, no, Mark corrects himself, she mutters, voice shaky, "I'm probably the ugliest girl you've ever seen."

It physically hurts Mark to hear that. He can't stand seeing his friend so upset.

"Don't be stupid," he protests. "You're the cutest person I know, at all times." Dongsook looks at him doubtfully and Mark gives her a warm smile. "You can be a pain in the ... and you're probably a spawn of the devil himself, but I can't deny you're cute as hell."

Dongsook snorts at that, and pushes at Mark's shoulder. "You at consoling people." Still, she's smiling so Mark believes he's not that bad at it.

"So what happened, huh? You know you can tell me."

"It's just..." She shrugs. "You know, sometimes I feel okay with it, no matter what I wear and no matter what people call me. It bugs me a bit but I'm fine. Sometimes I feel bad but dressing prettily helps. But sometimes... no matter what I do, I just don't feel right." She sniffs. "Everything is wrong, you know? I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to... be like this."

Mark doesn't know what to say— he can't possibly understand. He feels hopeless, he wishes he could make Dongsook feel better but he doesn't know how. He gently pulls her into a hug— she lets him, and then she buries her face in his shoulder and cries. Mark swallows thickly, feeling his eyes sting as well. He embraces her tighter, wishing he could give hugs warm enough to melt he pain away.

*

Mark thinks Donghyuck is brave to tell him so early into their friendship. Then again, he supposes knowing someone longer wouldn't make it easier. And Mark has already suspected something—maybe he's not the most observant person when it comes to certain things, but Donghyuck and Dongsook were just too alike, even for twins.

He and Donghyuck have a few lectures together and they quickly became friends, but even though Mark has been at Donghyuck's place a few times, he's never seen his sister. So he's not that surprised when Donghyuck tells him that the girl he once met in the park isn't really his twin sister.

"It was... me," he says softly, tugging on the hem of his sleeve. He's tense, not meeting Mark's eyes, instead staring at the ground, at the constantly-moving dappled shade cast by tree branches and leaves. Mark smiles and moves on the bench to sit a little closer to him.

"To be honest, I kinda thought so. So, uh, you like wearing girl clothes?"

Donghyuck scrunches his nose up. "They're not girl clothes, they're just clothes. Although, I guess, dresses and skirts do help when I'm a girl."

Mark pauses at that. "When you're a girl?"

"I just... sometimes, I'm a girl. I don't feel like one, I don't want to look like one, I just am one. And sometimes it's like, I'm both a boy and a girl, or somewhere in between."

"Okay..." Mark says slowly. It is strange to him— he's never known anyone like that, and even though he's trying to understand, he finds himself puzzled.

"Just... google it or something." Donghyuck sighs. "I don't think I can explain any better than that."

"Do your friends know? And your family? I mean— if you don't mind me asking."

Donghyuck shrugs. "My closest friends know. My family... it's why I moved from Jeju. Mom didn't take it well. Dad tries to understand." He smiles fondly. "He's dumb and awkward about it but he's trying his best."

Mark knew Donghyuck lived with his dad only, but he didn't know the reason. The thought of his mother rejecting him makes Mark sad. How hard must it be for him, especially since it's over something he can't change. He suddenly remembers thinking about kissing boys and his father firmly telling him that ‘it’s not right.’

"I'm sorry," he says softly.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm fine now." Donghyuck grins at him. "Don't look so down or I'll regret telling you."

Mark tentatively smiles back. He's not sure what to say, so he reaches out and rests his hands on top of Donghyuck's.

Donghyuck's hand feels even warmer than the rays of sun peeking through the leaves.

*

"Pink looks good on you," Donghyuck says, tilting his head as he adjusts the wig on Mark's head. Mark is flustered, and the way Donghyuck is looking at him, calculating but appreciative, is not helping. He agreed to dress up, because, well why the hell not, especially if it meant something to Donghyuck, but he feels awkward in the mini skirt and black tights. The oversized hoodie is okay, but he agreed to put on a bra as well, and it feels itchy and restricting. He doesn't think he can ever wear those type of clothes as naturally as Donghyuck does. "You can keep the hoodie, you know? I think it suits you better than me. The wig too." Donghyuck smiles. "You probably won't want it though, huh? But blond suits you well."

Mark hesitantly touches the blond curls. Having hair this long feels... heavy and too warm, it covers his neck, gets into his face and it's ticklish. How do people ever get used to it?

"Uh, thanks... I guess."

Donghyuck jumps off the bed and opens the closet door further, so that Mark can see his reflection in the mirror on the inside of the door. He stares, surprised. He looks... much better than he thought he would.

"It's not bad?"

"Not bad?" Donghyuck raises his eyebrows. "You look ing adorable," he says, flopping back down on the bed next to Mark. He reaches out and touches Mark's cheek. "Pretty noona."

Mark gives an embarrassed laugh. "I'm still a guy, you know."

"Yeah, I know. Boys can be pretty too." He leans in a little, then pauses, looking into Mark's eyes. "Can I kiss you?"

Mark can’t help but snort at his solemn expression and the serious tone to his voice. "Do you even need to ask?"

"Well, you seemed kind of tense so." Donghyuck an eyebrow, playful. "Can I?"

"Of course," is Mark's soft reply.

It's a strange, tasting lip gloss in the kiss and knowing it's on his own lips, not a girl's, but it's not a bad kind of strange. He suddenly thinks of what his father would say, seeing him like this, and the thought makes him smile into the kiss.

He would never say it out loud, but in all honesty, his father can it.

*

Mark tries his best, but he still messes up sometimes. He's not omniscient, and sometimes he gets it wrong, or completely forgets about it. He always feels guilty afterwards; he apologizes and tries to make it up to Donghyuck.

"You don't need to try so hard, you know," Donghyuck tells him one day. He's slurping on his cola, looking through the window, watching people pass by. He's already finished his burger and fries but Mark is still not done with his chicken. Compared to Donghyuck, he's a pretty slow eater. "I'm used to it, you know. It's not like I can wear dresses to classes, or tell everyone to consider me a girl on some days. And besides, Donghyuck is my real name at all times, I only use a girl name... you know, when I go out, and meet people who don't know the truth. So, you can stop trying so hard."

Mark stares at him for a moment, chewing on his spicy strip thoughtfully. Does Donghyuck even really mean it or is he just putting up a front? Whichever it is, it doesn't really matter, because Mark doesn't want to stop trying.

"Okay, but, like, I don't want you to be used to feeling bad around me. I want to get used to whatever I need to do to for you to feel comfortable?" He shrugs. "It's not like it's a big problem or anything."

Donghyuck turns to him, surprise painted on his face. Mark just lifts his brows, holding the eye contact until Donghyuck's expression relaxes into a smile. "You're too ing nice for your own good, Mark Lee."

"It's not really..." Mark shakes his head, flustered. "Seriously, man, it's just, it's being decent. I think everyone should do this much."

Donghyuck grins.

"Ah, cute. You're so cute. Cute boy." Mark is not sure if he wants to laugh or protest but he just stuffed his mouth with fries so he's stuck giving Donghyuck an incredulous look. "But just stop acting like it's the end of the world when you get it wrong. It's not, I promise. The fact that you want to..." Donghyuck pauses, chewing on his lip, curling his fingers tighter around the plastic cup. "It really... it already means a lot to me."

Donghyuck's voice is soft, his eyes filled with emotion. Mark's heart melts just a bit at the sight.

He wishes everyone would try for Donghyuck and other kids like him. It's not like it would cost anyone anything. And even if making mistakes flusters him, it's all worth it, if only just to see those sparks of happiness lighting up Donghyuck's eyes.

*

"Oppa," Dongsook says in a cute tone, pointing at one of the cupcakes in the display case. "I want this one."

"This one... okay," Mark turns to the barista. "One chocolate chip muffin and one red velvet cupcake please."

At his point Donghyuck rarely calls him "hyung"— they're close enough to drop that and besides, being Canadian, Mark doesn't really care that much for honorifics. It's usually "oppa" with Dongsook, though. It probably makes people think they're dating when they hang out in places like this, and it's not that Mark minds but it makes him feel strangely nervous. Maybe because it actually feels like a date.

"Yummy~" Dongsook sings-songs happily after tasting the cake. She's always adorable in Mark's opinion but she tends to put up a cute act in public. Mark genuinely finds it endearing, though he tries not to show it— Dongsook is still one of his closest friends here, there's no need to make things awkward, right?

He likes the cuteness, but he especially likes walking with Dongsook through the park when they head back home, watch her get excited about the colorful leaves and point at every dog they pass by. It reminds him that no matter what, it's the same witty, mischievous but kind person he's best friends with, the person whom he...

...whom he really, really likes a lot.

It's during one of those unofficial dates that he first realizes his feelings might run deeper than friendship. But it's only a week later, when he's hanging at Donghyuck’s place, when it really dawns on him.

They're playing Mario Party and Donghyuck eventually gets upset because he has no luck with the mini games— they end up wrestling on the bed, laughing breathlessly, like little kids. Mark loses, mostly because he's really ticklish and Donghyuck doesn't hesitate to use it against him.

"You lost, cute boy," Donghyuck grins; he's sitting on Mark, pinning him down. He’s flushed, breathless with laughter and his hair is messed up in the funniest way— Mark can't help but chuckle.

"Well, but I'm still winning in Mario Party."

Donghyuck scowls. "Do you want me to tickle you more?"

Mark's about to answer with a joke, but then something in Donghyuck's expression shifts as he studies Mark's face, and Mark forgets what he wanted to say. They stare at each other for a moment, and then Donghyuck is leaning down, and Mark also forgets how to breathe.

It's different from all the other first kisses Mark has experienced. It's funny, how natural it feels to press their lips together, like it was always supposed to happen, like they've been waiting for it ever since they met.  And with the way Mark's skin tingles under Donghyuck's touch, the way his heart feels like it's about to burst, he might have waited for it all his life.

*

"Hey, can I paint your nails?"

Dongsook looks up at him from her phone. As it often happens, they took a break during studying, and they ended up lying on the bed next to each other, sharing earphones as Dongsook, as she put it, blessed Mark with her superior taste in music.

"Really?" she asks, tone half skeptical half amused. Mark pulls the earbud out and sits up.

"Really," he nods earnestly. "I mean, I can start with your toes, it's easier, I guess? But really, I practiced."

"You did? Why?"

"Well, it seemed fun when you did that? So I wanted to do it for you..."

She stares at him for a moment, then she gives him a bright smile. "Okay, but if you mess up I'm gonna tickle you to death," she says, getting up and opening the desk drawer. "Um, let's see..."

A moment later, she hands him a bottle of nail polish, but he doesn't even get to take a proper look at it because he's suddenly tackled down to the bed, and he finds himself under Dongsook.

"Jesus, are you trying to kill me?" he gasps through laughter. Dongsook shakes her head and leans down to peck his lips.

"You're the nicest, cutest boy I've ever met, Mark Lee," she declares. Mark just laughs again, baffled. What brought this on? "I don't think you even realize how much I like you."

"Then... guess you're lucky because I like you even more."

He really, really likes the way Dongsook's eyes twinkle with mirth. "Please, you're the lucky one," she scoffs but then she leans down for another sweet, affectionate kiss that makes Mark’s heart swell in his chest. It's not easy for him to do it when he'd really love to just stay like this and kiss for hours, but after a moment, he gently pushes her away.

"We can kiss more later," he says breathlessly when she pulls back. "Right now, take off your socks."

***

i was jumping between present and past, i hope it wasn't too confusing, the fic just seemed more complete this way. the chronogical order of the scenes is probably 2, 4, 6, 7, 1, 3, 5, 8 but i'm not 100% sure haha.

i really want to write more markhyuck so feel free to send me prompts! i hope this was okay~

feel free to follow me on twitter or send me questions/requests on cc! 

 twitter || ao3 || cc