Mir stared at his phone for a long time before a heavy sigh escaped his cherry lips. His sad gaze now went past the gadget in his hand and towards the music scores scattered across his working table.

            Should he use this same excuse again? Over and over again? Why was he so pathetic? Why can't he be strong and let go already? Why was he so… Attached?

            Closing his eyes, Mir grimaced at himself at how his fingers had dialed that same number again almost as if it has its own thought, waiting for the dull ring to stop and replaced by that voice he had wanted to hear.

            "Hello? Cheolyong-ah? What's up?"

            Mir felt his heart beat fast but he strangely answered with a really calm voice unlike the storm that was creating mess inside his mind right now. "Byunghee hyung. Sorry to disturb but I was wondering if you already take a look at the music score I mailed you last night."

            "Oh yea, that one. I'm still fixing it. It's already good but you know, just me being fussy again."

            A soft chuckles followed after at the end of the line and Mir's chest tightened at the sound and only bitter smile stretched his lips. His fingers tightened around the gadget pressed to his ears and he pulled up his knees to meet his chest, and his free hand fiddled with his long sleeves. He curled into himself.

            "Hyung. Can we… Meet?" Mir asked slowly, hesitantly, even fearfully.

            "I'm not in Seoul right now but it'll be fine next week if you want to."

            "Yea. That's fine with me but can all of us meet? I mean, Seungho hyung as well."

            "Hmm… I don't know. I thought he is busy wrapping up the SABITA. Why? Is there something wrong?"

            Mir bit his lips. Did it have to be something wrong for him to meet them, to meet the people he had considered his own family, his own brothers? To meet those people he had missed so freaking much. Must there be reason?

            He knew it was falling apart, everything was falling apart but he didn't want to admit that. He felt alone. He was scared witless imagining the thing he treasured so much had taken too much blow and only matter of time when it would all fall apart, shattered into broken pieces and would meant nothing, not even as much as a speck of dust. To imagine MBLAQ falling apart, to imagine Seungho and GO leaving him behind just like Joon and Cheondung had done.

            It was selfish of him. He was selfish… But this… Need to stop. He would put a stop to it.

            "Cheolyong? Are you still there?"

            "Yea, hyung. I'll try to ask Seungho hyung first."

            "Well then, just text me when and where."

            Mir opened his mouth to greet goodbye but these days, words such as goodbye and farewell was too hard to roll off his tongue. He just couldn't seem to utter those kind of words and he ended up just tapping on the off button, ending the phonecall abruptly like had been doing for so long already.

            Inhaling deeply, he dialed on Seungho's number, setting the date and the place before sending the text to GO. The days that passed after seems more like a blur to Mir until he found himself already standing in front of the family restaurant they had promised to meet on the set date.

            Stepping inside, Mir couldn't help feeling nervous, his fingers clenching tightly on the edge of his leather jacket and he rounded a few corners of this large restaurant until he found the usual spot they always choose when they came to this restaurant. And there they were, already sitting at that table next to the window, talking to each other and Mir stepped closer without being noticed perking up his ears to listen in.

            "I don't know. I have no hope in Jtune already. They won't even explain when I ask them about our trophy. I'm disappointed. This has not been the only thing that made me disappointed." GO expressed, shaking his head slightly.

            "Then, what do you want to do about it?" Seungho asked, leaning towards the table and took a sip on his warm coffee.

            GO shrugged, throwing his gaze out of the window. "I still haven't change my mind. I… I want to live as myself. This world, this world of an entertainer doesn't feel right anymore."

            "Byunghee… If even you leave, what would I tell Cheolyong?" Seungho asked again, this time, his calm features scrunched up in worries over their maknae.

            "I was hurt, Seungho. And I'm still hurt. I don't know if I can still handle this in the future. Being an idol, being the MBLAQ GO… It hurts so much." GO lowered his head, one hand holding his temple, massaging it. "I'm a human too. I can't keep enduring. Nothing has been easy in these past years and no matter how much I try, it keep on falling apart. I don't have anymore strength left to fight this losing battle."

            "Are you really sure with your decision?" GO nodded and Seungho sighed. "Cheolyong might not take this well."

            "What about you?" GO asked, raising his eyes to meet Seungho's wary orbs. "Can you still see the future for MBLAQ. Tell me if you can because I can't. I can't see anything right now. It's dark. It's too dark."

            Seungho opened his mouth but no words came out.

            "I put my faith in JTC but what did they do to us? To our fans? To our future?" GO kept on going. "I don't want to hurt Cheolyong just as much as you but… I can't… I'm too exhausted."

            There was a moment of silence until Seungho spoke, "We have been running for a long time, keep on pushing without a rest. We are bound to feel tired. But, is there really a need to…" Seungho swallowed, the next word tasted so bitter on his tongue. "To quit?"

            "There is…" Both of Seungho and GO snapped their head to the direction where the small sad voice came from and saw their maknae standing not too far from them, approaching closer to them until he was standing by the table. "You should. Both of you." He smiled sadly. "In fact, you guys should have left long ago, just like Changsun hyung and Sanghyun hyung. I'm glad they did and now, you should."

            "Cheolyong… How much did you hear?" Seungho asked, standing up and putting a delicate hand over Cheolyong's slumped shoulder.

            "Enough to make me realize me my own selfishness and how much I have hurt both of you."

            "Hey…" Seungho leaned closer to Mir, massaging the maknae's shoulder. "Why would you say that?"

            Cheolyong blinked his tears back. "I'm sorry for holding you guys behind in this wreck. You guys should have long spread your wings and fly higher but I'm too selfish. Just a coward who is afraid of being left alone so I chain you guys down on the ground. I am so sorry. I'm such a mess."

            "Cheolyong-ah. Don't say that." GO stood up as well, taking both Mir's arm into a tender yet firm grip as he peered into those tired orbs. "We stayed because we wanted to. Just like you, we want to hold MBLAQ together from breaking apart. We love MBLAQ. I love you and I love Seungho and I love our fans. That's why I endure the pain. Don't ever say that kind of things again. You're not the one to be blamed."

            Mir shook his head. "MBLAQ… We… Should…" Choking on his words, Mir closed his eyes and breathed in and out a few times until he got himself back together again. "All of us should move on. It will hurt even more holding on. Sometimes, it's better to let go." He took a step back, away from the two others. Stepping further, out of their reach. "And one day, maybe… If we're strong enough. If our love for each other, for MBLAQ and for our fans is still strong enough, maybe that time we can pick back up the pieces." Mir inhaled deeply. The words he had been avoiding, the words that he had hated so much, the words that hurt him so much, he would finally said it. "Goodbye, Seungho hyung. Goodbye Byunghee hyung." A tear leaked out his orbs as he turned away from the other two. Seungho and Byunghee didn't stop Mir and Mir didn't have intention to stop nor to look back. He kept walking forward, into the uncertain future.

            Goodbye MBLAQ… For now…

            Because that stupid little spark called hope deep down inside the darkest part of his heart, he still couldn't seem to let go. Because maybe, this one selfishness could be forgiven.