Chapter 2: Meeting You

After a dreadful month of college applications and portfolios I had gotten accepted to one out of the three colleges I had applied for. The others had mentioned that I "lacked creativity" and that my work was "too bland." I didn't blame them, my hopes were too high this time. Fortunately, they had student dorms available so I would finally get away from the chaotic atmosphere back home.

I finished unpacking and saw that my roomate had already decorated her wall with hundreds of polaroid pictures. Pictures of her at the beach with a group of five other college students, pictures of her family; her two older brothers, mom, dad, and herself; and a photo of her kissing a man whom I assumed was her boyfriend. There was a recurring pattern in her photos that made me feel empty. There was not a single picture of her alone. All of them gave me the same feeling. It almost seemed as if they were mocking me and telling me, "If you do not have other people to support you, then who are you to be here?"

I didn't have much decór just a few books here and there and my laptop that used to be covered in colorful stick-ons, but that had been removed over the years.

I lied in bed anxiously waiting for the student orientation to begin when my roomate burst through the door.

Her name was Hyun-Jae. She was quite tall and had fair skin. Her style was feminine and she would never leave the dorm without her neon green heels, Bright red MAC lipstick, and GUCCI purse.

Hyun-Jae rushed through the door without an introduction, her eyes glued to her phone. She suddenly looked up and looked at me.

"Who are you supposed to be?" She said after staring at me for what seemed like an eternity.

"I'm Y/N." I simply said without any explanation.

She stared at me once again, her head slightly shifted as she studied me, she turned around bringing her attention back to her phone screen and left.

Why are people so confusing? I got lost in my own thoughts once again. I wondered if there was a way in which I could understand people and their actions.

As my thoughts started to take over I walked awkwardly towards the main building where the orientation was taking place, doing my best to avoid eye contact. I pretended to use my phone and kept on walking hurriedly past the crowd that seemed like complete strangers to me-knowing that they would never seem anything more than mere strangers.

Once I arrived I looked for a table to sit down.
Then I felt a familiar pull on my arm.

"Are you-" A tall, muscular, slender stranger asked from behind.

I looked back, and to my surprise it was Jungkook. The same guy who thought he saved me from my fall, and who thought I would feel comfort at the fact that he has gone through the same thing, even though he truly hasn't.

He was wearing a long, oversized sweater, ripped dark-wash jeans and Dr. Martin's. His brown hair slightly parted and his lips dry from dehydration.

"I didn't think I would see you again" He looked away and then down at the floor.

I stared at him for a while and once he noticed, I rapidly looked the other way.

"I don't know why you're here, but please leave. There's no need for you to pity me anymore." I said quietly and attempted to leave, but he stopped me and caught my arm once again.

"Hey. How long are you going to keep this up? What tragic thing happened to you that you so strongly want to die?"

The last phrase hit me hard. So hard that I slowly began to sink down on my knees. I didn't know that there were tears running down my face until I noticed his expression. His and everyone else's. Suddenly, the room got quiet. The only thing audible was my shockingly loud sobbing. I was so deep into my grief that I didn't care if people stared at me. It's not like I mattered to them in any way, shape, or form. They would soon forget this scene and move on to something new in less than a day.

After a while, my sobbing began to quiet down but I was still crying softly, and weakly attempted to walk back to my dorm. Stares followed me across the room as I made my way towards the door. I felt a sudden force turn me. Without even noticing, Jungkook was holding me close to his body, arms wrapped around me and eyes wide open, staring at me as I cried.

I stopped for a minute and almost gathered my strength to push him away, but then realized that this was the only time I would receive this same hug from a stranger.

I softened myself a bit and wept, letting myself lean more towards Jungkook's body. Somehow it felt oddly comfortable.

Jungkook, on the contrary, held my head tighter towards him as he closed his eyes and whispered:

"Sorry. I'm really sorry."

I wanted to tell him that he shouldn't be sorry. That he did the human thing and that he was the first to comfort me while the rest simply stared.

I was starting to believe that maybe Jungkook had experienced the same grief I did and that he saved me knowing that there was hope out there for people like us. I wish I had that type of optimism, but even if I faked it I knew I couldn't achieve it.

Once my crying had faded he held my head farther from his face to look at me, and gave me a gentle smile.

I came back to my senses and quickly pushed myself away from him.

Why did I let my tears fall uncontrollably infront of him, a person whom I had only encountered once in the worst possible circumstances? Right before my supposed death he decided that I wasn't completely hopeless and saved me. I questioned my actions and realized that I hated him even more after this. He felt even more pity for me for breaking down in front of him. But didn't you have someone you cried to? Weren't you comforted by your many friends and family members?

He would probably turn away from me as soon as he notices my flaws.