Worried Muse

"For you I will think of all the possibilities so you can always find me. I'll follow. I'll follow"

"U Need Me" by SHINee

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Nothing, I have no inspiration.

I stared into the Han River, my DSLR in hand, trying to find something or anything to take a picture of. It felt different taking photos in another country. It was so simple in California, my family and home was my inspiration. Here, everything was new and unsettling.

Home. The word stuck in my head. I couldn’t ignore the empty feeling in my chest as I realized how alone I was here. I had friends yes, but not many. I had a roof over my head yes, but it barely felt like home.

I eyed the growing grass near the end of the lack with pebbles and rocks sticking out of the sandy bank. I remembered my Mom taking me to the park when I was little, skipping rocks until evening. I was so young back then.

I zoomed in and quickly snapped a few shots. An idea popped in my head, find the love little or small in everyday life. People get caught up in romantic gestures, materialistic views, or words of love. But love could be so little.

Like pebbles near the riverbank. Or an unmade bed on a Sunday. Or an empty tea cup near a finished essay. I couldn't contain the excitement I felt in my stomach of a new idea and probably an idea that would get my pictures into the gallery.

The trill of my phone brought me out of my thoughts. It was Mina, “Hello?”

“Hana! You answered!”

“Mhm,” I hummed standing up from my seated position, “Is everything alright I thought you were in class?”

“Ah, well, I was but I got a super important phone call!” She cleared , “reemember like few weeks ago I signed up for a contest to buy concert tickets?”

“No.”

“Ugh, Hana, work with me.” I laughed at her tone, “anyways they called me up and I won tickets to see my second ultimate favorite boy group!”

Oh, okay, this was a kpop thing. I tried to think of what group it was. “You have no idea who it is do you?”

“I... yeah no idea.”

I heard a very loud scream on the end of the phone before I had to pull it aside. “SHINee! Stupid! SHINee, SHINee, ya know,” Oh boy she is going to start singing, “I CAN MAKE YOU FEEL GOOOD, YOU KNOW IT, I GOT, I CAN MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD-”

“Yes! SHINee, how could I ever forget!” I said desperately trying to get her to stop singing in English as I cringed at the pronunciation. “Congratulations on getting tickets.”

“I want you to come with me!”

“Bwo?! Why me? Don’t you have kpop friends?”

Mina sighed on the other line, “All my kpop friends like newer age kpop groups. Not my OG boys. Plus they are all way too crazy for me.” I scoffed. “Plus you are my very best friend who I think you should start listening to kpop! What better group to expose you to then SHINee!”

“What day?”

“Few weeks from now, Friday, please!”

I guess I could get work off, “Fine, I’ll go, just for you though.”

The screams on the phone made me laugh as I began to climb up back to the trail to begin the walk to the coffee shop for my shift. “Thank you Unnie! You won’t regret this!”

“No problem, now go back to class!”

“Alright, see you later!”

With a click she hung up. I couldn't help but laugh at her excitement all the way to the coffee shop. Maybe it was good to get a day off from work and go out. Expose myself to the culture. Maybe my mom when she lived in Korean went and saw pop concerts as well.

I reminded myself to ask her later.

“Hana!” Jihee cheered, “How are you?”

I smiled as I walked behind the counter setting down my bag and camera case. “Good! I think I finished up my photos for my entrance to the gallery.”

Jihee clapped, “Ah I am so proud of you!”

I pulled on my apron and tied at the waist. “Oh, Unnie, I was wondering could I have the Friday of next week off?”

She smiled, “Of course I am glad you are finally letting me take the night shift.” Jihee began to grind the coffee for the next order, “What are you planning to do?”

“My friend won tickets to a concert, so I think it would be good to go.”

Jihee nodded, “And I completely agree!” After she was done grinding she washed her hands quickly. “I do have to go now, can’t keep my boyfriend waiting!”

“Alright, go quickly now!”

“Okay! Bye!”

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I stared at the clock, it is almost closing time and he still wasn’t here. Where was Minho? There was a nervous pit in my stomach.

Even if I tried to clean or start to close I would keep glancing at the door. I walked up to the wooden door and peered out of the window, no site of anyone. With one last good look I locked the door and pulled the blinds shut.

A million thoughts rushed through my head. Was he okay? For the past weeks he has been going here every single night. Maybe he was sick? Did he get hurt?

Despite my efforts to get the concern out of my head the coffee shop seemed emptier tonight then it has been. My shift here seemed much longer than it normally is. Maybe that was just me.

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