I know my subscribers have been waiting for an update since the beginning of the year and that this is not the update you were looking for but I have some news regarding this fic. First, I would like to express my gratitude to the readers who support and enjoy my writing. It really shocked me to see just how many people were actually willing to give my writing a chance and I can't say thank you enough to you all.

However, I have good news and bad news regarding this fic.

Assuming most of my readers probably only care about this work, I will go ahead and tell you all the bad news first. I decided that I will not continue this fic because it goes against my values. When I first wrote this work, I was still raw from the trauma I had gone through the year before. I had lost my sense of self, I was dissociating 24/7 which subsequently affected my morality. Since I was left to my own devices for the first time in my existence, I was unable to make sense of my ordeal in a healthy, logical way. I regressed into a vengeful, nihilistic, selfish kid who, quite frankly, had a Hannah Baker moment. I became the person I swore I would never become. I became very vengeful and would self-sabotage in order to make a statement to my tormentor. Of course, it didn't work and I was pretty self-centered to believe that eliciting sympathy for bad behavior would actually work on someone who would rather see me dead. After a year of ruminating over my trauma and actively letting it define who I was as a person, I decided to try writing about my experiences to see if it could help me in anyway. I came up with the idea for this fic with my own experience of how I was coping with life post-trauma (with a twist!). Although I might've said that I was finally getting over my trauma, it was not the case at all. Writing this work was hard. I not only struggled with the resurgence of bad memories, but I had to continually work through my anxiety and executive dysfunction in order to put up a single chapter. Recently while thinking about the direction the fic was going, I decided that I did not like the way I wrote Johnny or how the dynamics of Johnyong's relationship was going to develop. Even while writing this, I thought fics where a person could swoop into a mentally ill person's life and cure their condition. Unwittingly, I pushed my plot into that direction and I will no longer work on something that promotes that narrative.

As for the potential good news, I might actually rewrite this fic to make it suit my taste a little more. It'll definitely be better than this hunk of trash since my confidence in writing, as well as my mental health, has improved immensely. I don't know when I'll get to working on this because I'm attending university right now and its hard to find the time to do anything at the moment. I have a lot more motivation recently and it would be my dream to actually finish a fic for once lol

Thank you to everyone who took the time to actually read this all. I know exactly how it feels to read these updates, I used to get so frustrated. I have so many ideas I want to share to my readers but I refuse to do so if it is not on my terms.

Thank you for understanding.

- X