It’s supposed to be easier now. But it’s not. Not when they can’t look at each other without feeling guilty for one thing or another, not when there are so many thing they never want to talk about.
“Are we…are we okay?” Nayeon asks quietly from her seat on Mina’s bed.
Mina looks at her through the mirror and feels something inside her move at the way Nayeon looks so unsure.
She turns around and offers the biggest smile she can muster, “yeah, I guess we are.”
The uncertainty of her own answer doesn’t sit well with Mina, but it’s all she can give at the moment, especially when she isn’t too sure herself. She sits next to Nayeon and rests her head on her shoulders. Nayeon adjusts herself so that Mina is comfortable and takes her hand, playing with her fingers. The silence feels like a welcome rest from the emotional turmoil of the past few months.
“We’ll be okay,” Nayeon whispers, rubbing her thumb in circles on the back of Mina’s hand.
Mina hums in agreement, and for once in her recent life, she finds something she can believe in.

    When Nayeon leaves, Mina feels strangely at peace. Being alone gives her silence and peace and she can finally think. Once the door is locked, she heads back into her room, leaning against the doorframe and she stares at the unmade bed. She lies facedown, face buried in the pillow that Nayeon slept on, and she pulls the covers over herself. As she breathes in the lingering scent of Nayeon she thinks about things between them, and she wonders if this is what she really wants. And in the warmth of her bed, she remembers what it feels like to fall asleep in Nayeon’s arms, what it feels like to be kissed, and—of course this is what she wants.
It’s been what she’s wanted for so long.
Right?

    When Nayeon comes home at the odd hour of 11am with a dreamy smile on her face Jihyo knows something is up.
“Where have you been?” she asks in concern, because it’s been nearly 2 days since Nayeon has come home.
And Nayeon replies, with the same dreamy smile, “at Mina’s.”
And suddenly Jihyo can’t be angry at Nayeon for making her worry anymore.

    Mina stares at the phone in her hand. She sighs.
“Sana?” she asks hesitantly after three rings.
Sana’s gentle voice in her ear does little to soothe the unease she feels, “yeah, Mina?”
“I—I’m—I don’t know what to do.”
‘Is this about Nayeon?’ is what Sana wants to ask, but she stops herself, because of course it’s about Nayeon, when has it not been about Nayeon?
Sana sighs, “why?”
“I don’t—I don’t know if I deserve to be happy like—like this,” Sana can hear the way Mina’s voice cracks and her heart cracks a little too.
“Mina, listen to me,” she frowns, “you—you deserve to be happy, and if Nayeon makes you happy then—if Nayeon loves you, don’t you think you deserve that?”
“I—”
“If you love her and she loves you, it’s easy isn’t it?”

    When Mina kisses her it feels like the whole world is being hurled into deep space and her head feels light while her arms feel like they’re sinking into the bed like lead weights. While Nayeon sits, still and barely breathing, Mina runs her hands all over her. She begins with her face, shaky fingers running themselves down the curves of her cheeks, then falling down to trail along the contours of her back, where they linger. Nayeon feels Mina’s trembling breaths on her lips and the way she clings to her.
She finds the strength to lift her arms and rubs Mina’s back gently, “it’s real Mina, we’re real.”
She’s not surprised when Mina bursts into tears. Patiently, she wipes the streaming tears away and just lets Mina cling onto her and sob.
“You’re real.”
And Mina cries harder, kisses harder.
When her sobs die down and her face is red and the last tears have fallen, Nayeon wipes them away and holds Mina’s face gently in her hands and smiles gently.
Mina sniffs.
“I hope that’s the last time you cry around me, because I’m tired of salty kisses,” she laughs softly, in an attempt to lighten the mood.
Mina simply looks at her blankly, then the tears start to pool in her eyes again.
Nayeon panics, “oh . I—come on Mina, please don’t cry, it makes me hurt,” she blurts, wiping away the tears that start to fall again with her thumbs.
Mina’s hands grab onto hers and hold them, and that’s when Nayeon focus moves from Mina’s tears to her actually expression and sees that’s she’s smiling.
Nayeon is confused. Mina laughs at her confusion and sniffs, still sobbing slightly. She lets go of Nayeon’s hands to wipe away her tears and wraps her arms around Nayeon so she can rest her tired eyes and lay her head in the crook of Nayeon’s neck.
A gentle touch on her back makes her pull closer to Nayeon, who asks quietly, “are you okay?”
The concern in her voice makes Mina smile, and she sniffs again, “yeah, I’m okay.”

    “It’s easy, isn’t it?”
Sana’s words ring in her head.  They ring in her head when she sees the way Nayeon treads carefully around her, when Nayeon takes her hand cautiously and squeezes it reassuringly, when Nayeon grins with a a crooked smile. When she looks at Nayeon and feels a smile on her face sh thinks, ‘yeah, it is easy’.

    It still takes a while for them to fall back into their previous rhythm, but they try, and it works. It starts with Mina calling her Nabongs again.
“Nabongs.”
“Minari.”
Mina is taken aback for a second, “‘Minari’?”
Nayeon grins, “yeah?”
“What’s that supposed to be?”
“It’s you; you’re Minari.”
“But why?”
“Why not? Don’t you deserve a cute nickname too?” Nayeon shrugs.
Mina blushes.
“Then again, crybaby works too, don’t you think?” Nayeon grins.
The sudden sensation of pain on her shoulder nearly makes Nayeon regret teasing her, “ow!”
“I’m not a crybaby,” Mina pouts.
“Okay,” Nayeon smirks, “crybaby.”
“I hate you!” Mina huffs as she smacks Nayeon again. And again. And again.
Nayeon laughs and wraps her arms around Mina, trapping her hands by her sides. Mina struggles for a bit, but gives up and relaxes into Nayeon’s embrace. She closes her eyes and sighs. It’s nice to be back here again, happy and in Nayeon’s arms
“Are we okay?” Nayeon asks, lips pressed to Mina’s cheek.
Mina turns and presses their foreheads together, eyes closed in a smile that shows of her gums. “yeah. We’re okay.”

_____________________________
hello whats good my pals!!!
why is mina such a crybaby why does she cry in every chapter smh
anyway thanks for reading!!!
i actually have a playlist for this so im just gonna chuck it here bc why not u feel
1. boy problems
2. all my friends
3. hit the reset
4. same drugs
5. tears dry on their own
6. all i want
7. no more bad days 
wait maybe ill chuck this in the foreword anyway its here
anyway thanks for joining me on this wild ride im out