Song 🎶 : Taeyeon’s Fine

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Just like the other Friday Nights, I went out with my officemates to the bar to enjoy and have fun after a long week of finishing a lot of work loads. Drinking and dancing away all night every Friday is our way of kicking away all the stress we've been through the entire week. That's how my colleagues and friends likes to put it. But from the past two months, that was not the case for me. I was not a person who enjoys drinking liquors and dancing with strangers. It was just not my style. The reason why I started to join my officemates in the bar was because of him— because of our break up. He initiated it and gave me the tiest reason that was 'I ran out of love'. Did he really? Or did he find someone new? I never knew because I barely saw him after the break up which is why I started to accept the invitation of my close friend in the office to loosen up and join them in the bar. They probably thought I was just stressed. Not that it's not true, work can be stressful too.

I stared at the band that was now about to finish their second song for the night. This was not the usual messy bar. This one was made as if it was made for the elite. There was a separate room for those who wanted to disco and there is a vip section in which people who only wants to drink and enjoy music. This was my style so I stayed here. I don't need to dance with strangers anyways. I thought of doing something crazy after the band finished playing. I glanced at my officemates and excused myself. I was now heading to where the band was placed. I whispered something the main vocalist who looked like he was the leader of the group. I requested to sing a song and asked if they know how to play the song I wanted to sing. Fortunately they do. I gave them a warm smile and thanked them. This area of the bar was not really crowded which gave me the confidence. The leader immediately lead me to the high chair and positioned the mic towards me properly. Signaling s to play the song I wanted to sing. 

I cleared my throat before I begin to sing.

On a ripped piece of paper

I wrote down how I really feel

And it gets clear

Somethin’ bout you

Yeah, you and I are similar but different

Do you feel the same way?

I’m getting my hopes up

When one day, one month, one year passes

Will we be living different lives?

Not me

It won’t be easy for me

Still, you fill up my days

Not yet

I tell myself, like a fool

I can’t swallow the words that linger in my mouth

It’s not fine

Ah- Ah- Ah- Ah- It’s not fine~

I was closing my eyes as I started to sing. Even after the first chorus, my eyes were still shut. The song was speaking for me. How I still love him and how I can't seem to move on from our break up.

With my hair tightly tied up

I’m cleaning up my messy room

I’m looking for somethin’ new

Sometimes, I get this overwhelming feeling

Of having to do something

So I move around for no reason

When one day, one month, one year passes

You said you’d probably smile and reminisce but

Not me

It won’t be easy for me

Still, you fill up my days

Not yet

I tell myself, like a fool

I can’t swallow the words that linger in my mouth

It’s not fine

Ah- Ah- Ah- Ah- It’s not fine

Between the meaningless jokes, back-and-forth conversations

And all the people, I look like I’m fine

I pretend to be numb and I try to smile

I try to turn around from your shadow but

I keep thinking about our last moment

The words “take care” was it for our plain breakup

Not yet

I tell myself, like a fool

I can’t swallow the words that linger in my mouth

It’s not fine

Ah- Ah- Ah- It’s not fine Oh-

Ah- Ah- Ah- It’s not fine

But I eventually have to move on and accept the end of the love story we started just like how I have to end this song since there was no more lyrics left to sing and just like our love story, there was no more moments to write.

After finishing the song, a tear left my right eye. I smiled bitterly and wiped my tears before opening my eyes slowly. My officemates clapped their hands, acknowledging my talent in singing but not noticing how the song affected me which was good. I didn't want them to bombard me with questions after this. I turned to the band and they looked at me in awe as if they're amazed. I blushed and thanked them for letting me sing they told me it was no big deal and that I can sing anytime I want. They also told me that I can hopefully sing with them in the future. I will, if I have the opportunity. I left the stage and was about to go back to my table when I felt someone hug me from behind. I stopped my tracks as my breath hitched as a recognize the familiar manly scent that I have come to love. My eyes shut close again and I bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying. It took me a minute to have the courage to turn around and face him. Why he hugged me was a mystery to me. I almost lost my cool as soon as I come face to face with the man I loved so much. He looked the same but he looked sad and stressed, he grew a mustache too which surprisingly suited him.

"S-Sehun" I stuttered. Completely taken aback by his sudden appearance. I wanted to hug him so bad but I didn't want to look needy and desperate for him. Yes, I still loved him so much that I was willing to take him back if he asked me right now.

"Seulgi" he started, sounding so lonely that I couldn't help but cup his cheeks and tear up again. "I'm sorry. I made a huge mistake months ago. But I had to do it. I had to break up with you to save you" he continued. I looked at him with a puzzled expression, completely clueless with what he was saying "I love you so much. Heck! I would do anything for you even breaking up with you which hurts a lot." He looked down and closed his eyes as if he was in pain before he continued to explain "I had to hurt and break up with you because of Irene. Do you remember?" I nodded. Who can forget her? She was the crazy ex girlfriend of the man in front of me. "She threatened to kill you if I don't marry her. She was serious. She was really becoming the crazy person I imagined her to be. That was why I had to break up with you because she'll only leave you alone after I  end things with you. I also did it so that I can fix things and convince her family that she needs to see a doctor. I also filed a case and restraining order against her for threathining you. It was a lot of work but I managed everything to keep you safe. I promised myself to come back to you after I fix things." He explained and I now understood everything. He did it to protect me. He was about to speak again but was cut off as I kissed him. It was a long peck that lasted for about ten seconds. I closed my eyes in the middle of the kiss, opening it again as I pull away. I smiled at him.

"You don't even have to ask me to be yours again because I have always belonged to you even after you broke up with me. You took my heart with you. I love you so much" I said with my tears flowing. He smiled and pecked my lips once before hugging me tight.

Everybody deserves a second chance. Especially those people who caused you pain to protect you.