AN//

this chapter contains some references to underage characters (they're both aged 17) having . it is not explicitly written but it is implied. i'm not sure if this would bother anyone but i thought i would mention it so you can skip this chapter to the next one (when i eventually write it lol)

 
    KIM JONGDAE AND PARK CHANYEOL TO MARRY IN THE COMING WINTER
 

“Seems kinda surreal doesn’t it?”

Jongdae stiffens at the voice behind him. They’d been together for most of the last few days, most time spent in the haze of his heat, this was the first time there’d a lull of more than ten minutes for him to get a chance to read the announcement papers.

“…that we’re gonna be getting married.”

And Chanyeol is right, this is all very surreal — it seems like just last week he was writing the letter to congratulate his mate (it felt weird to even think that was what Chanyeol was) on his first rut.

“Not until we’re 18 though. We won’t be living together until then, and mother will arrange for me to go on suppressants.” it feels rude to be so blunt but the facts are all he can manage. Anything else seems like it would be tempting fate to take Chanyeol away for him — for someone to say that this is all some horrific misunderstanding.

If he’s being entirely honest, which is hard to do when you feel your mates arms encircling your waist and his head resting on yours before he kissed your crown, Jongdae is scared.

He’s not sure what being married means, what ruling means. There’d been all these lessons to prepare him, notes and flyers he’d meant to read before bed but the reality of it was so much more striking. “I don’t think they’re going to separate mates…” Chanyeol trails off, drawing his arms tighter around his waist.

Snow drifts outside the window, layering the sloping roofs with a white dusting, “They’ll separate us Chanyeol. The palace can’t risk a pregnancy before marriage. You should know this.” Jongdae snaps, voice shaky as he turns in his mate’s arms. “They don’t care about this, us, what’s important is our image.” he adds the explanation on, a weak smile at his partner before he pulls away.

Chanyeol’s arms stay raised in the air for a few seconds, hovering where Jongdae had been just moments before, only lowering once he pulled his robe tighter. “That’ll explain why I had to fight to even be there for this heat.” His bottom lip pulls through his teeth and his brows draw together as he watches the other prince. “My status as Crown Prince wasn’t even enough to move the guards by your door…had to growl at them in full blown Alpha mode.”

“I’ve heard Alphas can be pretty scary when you stand between them and their mates.” Chanyeol’s laugh seems out of place especially with the tenseness of his shoulders.

“I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been dumb enough to be on the receiving end of one of our tirades.” Tirades, that’s probably the word for it, the way all that heat and anger had contorted itself into Chanyeol’s words as well. Jongdae couldn’t remember much because of his heat, but most of what he could was a few stolen (shouted) words and a very angry looking Chanyeol in that brief moment before his Alpha had registered the doors had opened.

They each stay quiet for a few moments, breathing taking up the space their words had occupied seconds before. Jongdae stays by the window and listens as Chanyeol moves across the room to lie down on the ruckled sheets. The silence is comforting, gives him a moment to gather his thoughts, especially so considering the haze his mind had been up until about half an hour ago.

It’s in the silence that Jongdae comes to a decision: “Forget everything we said to each other during the heat.”

A sharp intake marks his statement, followed by apprehension filling Chanyeol’s worry of, “Don’t you think that’s a little bit of a bad idea? I mean, we meant those things.”

“Did we though? or did we say them in the literal heat of the moment, setting up expectations we can’t possibly live up to in the coming months?” It stings to say and hurts to consider the truth of but Jongdae had watched more than his fair share of relationships break down because of haste and lust. Maybe his stress was just borne out of the other stressors their roles and union brought but time and observation had taught him to be careful.

Without needing to look Jongdae knows that Chanyeol has deflated behind him, “But our marriage is in less than a year. Doesn’t that mean anything?” Desperation has edged in this time, flooding its way through Chanyeol’s voice and choking his words.

Jongdae blinks back the tears he wills not to fall, “It means we’re getting married Chanyeol. That’s all. I don’t want to be stuck over here for that whole year pining for something I might not even experience. The sooner we acknowledge that things aren’t going to be smooth sailing from here on out, is the sooner this can be the marriage that it will be: politics that just this time happened to be in favour of love.”

He’s still holding the marriage announcement, apparently tightly enough that the paper is crinkled with his grip and even some of the sweat from palms. “When did you get so…political?” That hurts, to hear the upset in his lover’s voice, but more just the acknowledgement that he has changed, that he didn’t used to be like this.

A glance down at the announcement in his hand before Jongae turns, weak smile adorning his face as his eyes survey Chanyeol’s features. “I was taught to be like this. While you were off being the good Alpha that are, this was my fate, stuck in the limbo of politics and reality.”

Chanyeol nods, his eyes welling with tears, they don’t fall, though Jongdae is sure that’s being saved for later. “I’ll just go then.”

The tears are real, and as much as Jongdae wishes to brush them aside, say he didn’t mean it, all he manages is a cute, “That’d be best.”

AN//

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