A blur of bright orange came into view from the opposite side of the bridge, overshadowing every other color in the area. Then comes the sight of soft brown curls underneath the orange beanie and pale white skin slightly kissed by the light fog of the cool morning. Little by little, the distance decreases, enough for you to see his hazelnut brown eyes, clear and wide like a child’s, hidden beneath his long beautiful lashes. He passes by, offering a small smile towards you, a smile so innocent and contagious, you can’t help but smile back, nodding towards him in acknowledgement. Every morning, your day starts off just like this. Just like clockwork, just like always.

Like everything, it all started one dull day. It was one of those mornings when despite your body protesting for more sleep, you dragged yourself outside for your new promise of keeping yourself healthy. It was the most you can do, given that your daily schedule is packed enough and leaves no space for any serious exercises.
The first few days, you took the route you always go to from your house to your work place. It was short and familiar. That was enough.

But as days pass by, it was time for a slight change. There was another route, a longer one that passes by the bridge a few blocks away. Somehow, your feet just kept on moving towards its direction and it soon became part of your morning routine.

When it started exactly, you weren’t quite sure. But one day, you just noticed. How can you not? His beanie screamed ‘notice me’ because of its bright color. Every morning on the bridge without fail was this other jogger that you always meet from the other direction. Not a word was ever exchanged. Just a smile acknowledging each other’s presence, a mental message of possible encouragement or in your case, questions.

Who was he? What was his name? What’s with the bright orange beanie?

It started as a small flame of mild curiosity that turned into questions you wanted answered. But fate, as it is, has its own curious way of making things happen.

At first, he was late. You’ve already passed the bridge but he was nowhere in sight. Not until you’ve turned into a curb did you notice him from afar. Despite the heavy burn in your chest from running, there was this light and relieved feeling that came with finally seeing him. Like always, his eyes met yours, recognition flashing in his eyes. Again, he nods, acknowledging your presence, before he passes by and disappears from view.

That short moment of bliss continued for a few days until one day, it all stopped.

---

“Why do you keep on forgetting it? Alright. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

You placed your phone back in your pocket and sighed. It’s the third time this week that your sister forgot to bring fresh new clothes at work. With lots of patients to tend to at the hospital, she’s hardly had time to go home. Thankfully, you just got home from work in time for her call.

You grabbed several pieces of clothes and folded them in a bag before grabbing your keys and left. The hospital was a short drive from your house. You’d probably get home while the sun is still up.

“Y/n!” the nurse behind the counter smiled.

“Hey. Any idea where my sister is?”

“Oh she’s currently inside the emergency room. It may take some time. Clothes?”

You lifted the bag and placed it over the counter, patting it flat. “Yeah. A whole bunch of them just in case.”

“Alright,” she said, taking it. “Anything else?”

“Nah. Just that. I have to go now though. Thanks.”

“Sure,” she smiled.

You got ready to leave and turned when you halted in your tracks as you almost bumped into someone.

“Sorry!” you said as you stepped back quickly.

You watched in disbelief as the guy in hospital gown bowed but didn’t say a word. He continued walking in silence, holding on to an i.v pole for support as if nothing happened.

“Tuh. Well, sorry for being in your way,” you muttered. You continued walking towards the main entrance when you stopped just before it. You looked back, a frown on your face as you searched for the guy from before. Patients, visitors and nurses passed by but he was nowhere to be seen. That guy…it’s like you’ve seen him somewhere before. But it wasn’t like you saw his face clearly. He was looking on the floor most of the time.

You sighed and shrugged. He’s probably just someone from the neighborhood.

---

You slowed to a stop at the middle of the bridge and panted. It’s already your second round but the guy in orange beanie was nowhere to be found just like a few days ago.

“Maybe he got lazy,” you smiled, taking your time to catch your breath. The phone in your pocket vibrated. You opened it and saw a message from your sister inviting you for lunch later.

You shook your head and smiled. “Stingy. She knows I don’t eat hospital food.”

“Hey!”

The nurse behind the counter looked up and smiled once she saw who it was. “Y/n! Your sister forgot something again?”

“No,” you shook your head and smiled. “She invited me for lunch today. Says she feels bad for not being home half the time.”

The nurse nodded and picked up the phone. “I’ll tell her you’re here.”

“Thanks. I’ll be out in the garden.”

You walked to the back of the building, adjusting your bag on your back and to the outdoor garden. It was a wide and open space complete with tables and chairs, even a pagoda, small fountains and a small pond. It would’ve been the perfect picnic area if it weren’t for the fact that it was an exclusive part of the hospital grounds. Patients and visitors usually spend time here for the fresh air and different scenery, especially for those who feel too suffocated in the dull confines of the building.

You chose a vacant table, a few feet from the pagoda and started setting up for lunch when you heard someone having a coughing fit.

You turned and saw a guy clutching on to his pole as he tried taking deep breaths in between coughs.

“Hey are you alright?” you asked as you rushed towards him, patting his back.

“Y–yes I,” he coughed again, taking another deep breath that seemed to stop the cough. He swallowed, allowing himself to breathe before looking up. “Thanks.”

“Hey. You’re the guy I almost bumped into yesterday.”

“Oh. I’m sorry about that,” he said as a cough came to surface again. “I was thinking of something and didn’t see you.”

You nodded, patting his back again. “Do you want to take a seat first? That cough is nasty.”

He nodded and walked towards the table while you guided him from behind. He took a seat across you, taking deep breaths as he surveyed the area.

“Don’t you have a nurse with you?”

He shook his head. “I’m fine. Don’t need one.”

“You sure? Cause your lungs almost came out of you with all those coughs you were having.”

He smiled, a soft laugh escaping his lips. “Yeah. It’s just a cough. I’m alright.”

“Ah!”

His eyes met yours, wide as if asking what it was. Of course! How can you not notice earlier?

“Don’t you recognize me?”

The blank look on his face confirmed your question. You sighed. “Look,” you grabbed your hair, pulling it into a tie, “don’t you remember? Every morning! On the bridge!”

He leaned closer, his eyes narrowed as he studied you before his face lit up, a smile growing on his face. “Right! The slow jogger! From the opposite side!”

“Pfft, what slow jogger?” you laugh as you untie your hair. “You’re the slow one. At least, for the past few days.” You glanced back at him. He’s in the hospital in a hospital gown and with an i.v pole. Obviously… “Is…I guess it’s because of…”

“Yeah,” he smiles, looking down. “Well, you won’t always be healthy will you? There’s gotta be days when you’ll be sick for a while,” he laughs before stopping himself and looked at you. “Of course I don’t mean for you to be sick or anything, I didn’t mean it like that.”

You laughed and shook your head. “Of course. You know, it took me a while to recognize you without your orange beanie,” you laughed before shifting your attention to your phone when it rang.

“Hey where are you?”

“I’m sorry but there was an emergency patient. I need to –”

“It’s fine. Go. Make sure to save the patient, okay?”

You heard your sister sigh. “Thank you.”

You placed your phone down, staring at the screen before it closed.

“You’re meeting someone?”

You looked up to the jogger and smiled. “My sister. She’s a doctor here. We were supposed to eat lunch together but there was an emergency.”

“Ah…”

“You wanna eat with me instead?” you asked.

The jogger smiled and nodded. “Of course!”

You smiled back, opening the food container before reaching out your hand across the table. “I’m y/n by the way.”

He looked back at you with a smile as he reached out and took your hand in his. “I’m Hansol. Chwe Hansol.”

“Chwe Hansol…” you repeated. “I feel like I’ve heard of that name before.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. But I can’t place it right now…” you glanced back at him, eating the food happily like he had no sickness at all. His skin was pale but not the alarming kind that people have when they’re sick. His eyes were as bright as you remembered them as if excited with what the world has in store. “Why are you here anyway? Except for your coughing and the fact that you’re wearing a hospital gown, you look pretty healthy to me.”

Hansol paused before chewing some more. “Straightforward aren’t we?” he smiles.

You shrugged. “It’s a bad habit.”

“Just need a couple days of rest,” he continued. “I’ve been working a lot these days so I haven’t exactly been taking care of my body like usual. It can’t be helped though. My work is a really demanding one. It was, apparently, too much for my body to handle.”

You nodded, picking off some of the green vegetables from your plate. “I’ve only been exercising for a while but keeping yourself healthy is important for sure. Still,” you your spoon clean, “I still hate some of the healthy food. Can’t really help it. When will you be leaving?”

“Soon.”

You looked at him and saw the look on his face. He was smiling but… “I’ll visit you when I can,” you smiled. “Though I hope when I do next time, you’re not here anymore but out there living life healthily. I’m not one to talk but try to put your health first before work. Life would be better that way.”

Hansol laughed. “You sound like my doctor.”

“My sister is one. Must’ve gotten it from her,” you smiled as you tidied up. You glanced down your watch and chewed on your lip. Lunch time was almost over and you’re still here. “Sorry. I gotta go. See you around?”

Hansol nodded and smiled, the same smile he always gives you during morning jogs, only this time, he seemed happier. “See you.”

---

A few days passed and unfortunately he still wasn’t back for the early morning jogs. It was a shame too. Flowers were starting to bud, a few of them already did, and it would’ve been nice to see them with him. Or at least just for him to see them.

You stopped to rest in front of a house when you saw blue flowers almost in full bloom past their gate. “So blue…”

“You like it?” you heard a voice asked. He appeared from behind the hedge carrying a watering pail and smiled at you. “Those blue flowers are irises.”

You smiled back. “It’s amazing how they’re already blooming.”

“I can give you one if you like,” he said as he placed the pail down and walked towards the flowers.

“Really? Is it okay?”

“Uh huh. My mom used to say that pretty people deserve pretty things,” he said while cutting the lower part of the stem, dusting it off lightly before handing it over to you. “It’s also a pity if they just stay here. I’m Chan by the way.”

“Thank you, Chan. I’m y/n. I think my friend will be happy too if he sees this. He’s probably quite bored in the hospital by now.”

“Really? Then you can have a few more.” Chan ran back and snipped off a few more flowers perfectly and gave it to you. “There. Then you’ll both be happy with them. They have a good meaning too,” he smiles. “Faith and hope are some of them.”

“Thank you,” you smiled, admiring the flowers.

“It’s nothing. I have to go though. Classes start soon. I hope your friend gets better.”

“Me too. Thanks!” you waved goodbye to him as he disappeared inside his house. “I hope it makes his day better,” you said, holding the flowers close to you, their sweet fragrance warming your heart.

“Hey y/n! You’re back so soon!” a nurse called over. “And early.”

You went up to her and smiled. “Got a new friend. Any chance you’ve seen someone named Chwe Hansol?”

“Oh you mean that cute boy from Room 203? Yes, he is in there right now.” She smiled at you, almost teasingly. “New friend, huh?”

“Yes,” you smiled, “new friend.”

“Alright. Well, you know where the rooms are.”

You nodded. “Thanks.”

You walked towards the right part of the building, your left hand clutching the flowers from this morning. Your heart pounded, from excitement or nervousness, you weren’t exactly sure. It’s been a few days. He still remembers you, right?

“Y/n.”

You looked up to see Hansol standing in front of you and you can’t help but notice. He looked thinner, the lines around his eyes grew deeper, and his voice.

“You’re here,” he smiled.

His voice sounded weak. But it was the look in his face that overshadowed everything. His smile was as bright as ever, his eyes still clear and shining. Whatever it is that he has, clearly, he’s fighting.

“Hey,” you said walking up beside him. “Where are you going by yourself?”

“I was bored. I wanted to go out.”

“Alright. Let’s go out.”

“Here,” you said as you gave him the flowers from this morning. You two were back in the garden, sitting at the table from before. There were more people compared to last time, with kids running around as their grandparents watched fondly over them. With the same kind of eyes, Hansol too received the flowers in his hands.

“I’ve never received flowers before,” he smiled shyly.

“I bet you’ve only been giving them.”

He laughed, the same cute laugh he always did. “Nah. But I see now why girls like it. Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” You looked at him, studying everything about his face. He seemed more sick than before, your heart heavy with guilt for being busy these past few days. “Have you eaten already?”

“Yeah. Sadly, my stomach wasn’t able to handle it so,” he shrugged. His eyes surveyed the place, as though he was looking but not really seeing.

Just what was it that he had?

He looked back at you and met your eyes, a smile forming on his lips. “I’m happy you’re here.”

“Ah…” you smiled, looking away from his piercing eyes, your heart beating hard against your chest as though you were running again.

You glanced at him and saw him admiring the flower in his hand. “I… I got that from someone’s house while I was running this morning.”

“You did? Did you ask for permission?”

“Of course I did!” you laughed. “It was given to me by Chan. He lives there.”

“Chan?” his eyebrows shot up. “I know him. He was my junior from school. He’s nice.”

“He is,” you nodded.

“This flower…it’s probably from his mom’s garden. His mom…left him earlier last year,” he said, setting the flowers down on the table, his eyes staring at it sightlessly.

“…left him?”

His eyes met yours, sadness visible in his. He nodded solemnly and you understood.

“How?”

Hansol leaned back and adjusted his shoulders, looking back at the hospital building. “I don’t know. I…” Hansol blinked a few times, his chest rising and falling heavily before speaking again. “Y/n, I…I’m feeling sleepy.”

“Let’s get you into bed,” you said as you helped him get up from his seat.

A soft laugh reached your ears as you supported him while walking.

“Into bed huh.”

“Not what I meant, silly. How did your brain get there?”

“Just trying to be funny.”

You helped him back to his room and stayed until he went to sleep. It didn’t take long. As soon as he hit the bed, it was like a switch was turned off and he was in rest mode, just like the peaceful look on his face.

You breathed with great difficulty, almost as if you were the one with the sickness. It was painful watching him like this, especially with the radiant memories you have of him when you didn’t know his name yet.

“Y/n?”

You looked up and saw your sister at the door.

“What are you doing here?”

“I was visiting a friend.”

Your sister walked in and stood beside Hansol’s bed, checking everything in her board and the monitor beside him. “He’s getting worse.”

“We took a short walk to the garden and back.”

Your sister nodded grimly, her eyes fixed on Hansol. “Poor kid. It was probably hereditary.”

“Is he…will he get better?”

Your sister met your eyes and shook her head. “He can prolong his life by resting but not by much. I’m sorry y/n.”

The wet stain on your cheek brushed against your hand as you wiped the taste of salt off your lips. You knew. And he probably did. But it didn’t stop the pain growing inside.

But you had to be strong. Or at least pretend to be.

A few more days passed with you going to the hospital to visit daily. Hansol seemed to get better and cheerier than before though he looked worse every passing day. He was strong. Maybe not physically but he was. Though he was thinner and the areas around his eyes were alarmingly darker, it was his unchanging bright smile and eyes, no matter how tired they looked, that gave you confidence despite his condition. If he was fighting, so should you just as hard.

“Please don’t tell me you’ve been missing work because of me.” He smiled as he kicked a small pebble and watched it roll towards the pond.

“I’m not. Don’t worry about me.”

You shifted on your seat, grasping the edge of the bench, a heavy feeling forming on your chest. The sky was clear and the sun shone brightly as if mocking the two of you and what’s to come.

You felt the warmth of his hand go over yours, the tears now in danger of falling. You held his hand back tightly, afraid that if you let go, so will he.

“I’m happy I met you y/n. I’m sorry we didn’t get to run together.”

Your eyes stung as tears welled in your eyes. You didn’t trust your voice but you had to at least tell him. “Me too.”

---

You tied your laces together, making sure that they won’t get untangled. Over then under, tugging them tight. You grabbed the beanie and pulled it over your head snugly and went out to the streets.

The streets were empty except for one or two people checking their front porch for newspapers. It was quiet and calm, just how it should be. It was one of those mornings, just like last time when you let your feet just take you where it felt like.

This time, it took you to an empty lot that no one owned, filled with beautiful flowers of all colors and sizes. There, in the middle, was a small cluster of tiny blue flowers with yellow centers. You picked them gently and placed the stems in your pocket, making sure that they will be delivered safely to him. You ran, much faster than before, excited for Hansol’s smile once he sees it.

“Hey. I brought you flowers,” you said, placing them before him. “I took a different route today and saw them from an empty lot. Don’t worry though. There weren’t any signs that said I wasn’t allowed to do that,” you smiled. “I ran into Chan and told me that they smell really good at night. They’re forget-me-nots. Don’t lose them okay?”

You smiled as you sat cross-legged in front of him. Hansol’s been really silent these days. Even the slight wind seems louder than him. “How are you? I’ve been busy these couple of days so I didn’t really had time to visit. Oh right! I brought this,” you said tapping the beanie on your head. “It fits me really well you know? Keeps me warm.”

The wind blew, scattering the flowers away. You gasped, chasing after them, stepping on some as you did.

“No. Please.”

Tears welled in your eyes as you knelt down to pick them, their stems nearly crushed from your grip as you held them close to you. Your body trembled, your chest heaving deeply as pent up cries of loss and longing finally escape your lips, the only sound that can be heard across the cemetery.

You hoped and had faith. But fate has a cruel way of making things happen.

He’s gone.