POV Seokjin

It was a sunny day. It was warm outside, the unpleasant, humid kind of warm that made 30°C (86°F) feel like 40°C (104°F). I was driving the large SUV I borrowed from my mum to go the beach with my friends, Jungkook, Jimin, Namjoon, Taehyung, Hoseok and even Yoongi (albeit reluctantly). It was the last day of summer break before I'd start going to Uni to become a doctor. I would move away from Busan to Seoul and would only be able to maybe visit them during the weekends if I had time. In a way, this trip felt like a farewell trip. 

Everyone was super hyped up, even Yoongi - who said he'd be sleeping the whole car ride - joined in for a couple of family friendly car games.

After a while, they got stuck in a traffic jam, however, and they moved excruciatingly slow. After the umpteenth "Are we there yet?" from Taehyung I felt the growing urge to throw my (empty) soda can to his face, the only thing keeping me from doing it being that I wouldn't be a good role model getting distracted like that. 

Then, as if my mood hadn't plummeted enough from being stuck in a traffic jam with a whiny 17-year-old teenager (aka my whiny little brother named Taehyung), it had started to rain as well. 

With a grunt, I decided to pull the car into the very first wayside parking lot I could find. 

I let my shoulders sag and let my head rest against the steering wheel. 

You can't do anything right can you, Seokjin? 

Failure. Failure. Failure.

The words kept repeating themselves in my head.

Namjoon could've done it better.

He's smarter than you anyway,

You're the older brother, yet you're not acting like one.

Did you know liking pink is for girls?

"Hyung?" Someone tapped my shoulder. It was Kookie.

"Jin-hyung, are you okay?" Kookie looked up at me with huge eyes, filled with concern. I stared at the steering wheel.

Look at you. A 15-year-old kid is comforting you. You're the adult in this situation. Yet you're about to break down like a kid.

"I just wanted... I just wanted to take you guys to the beach once," I started, trying to ignore the voice in my head. I hesitantly looked up at his face again. I honestly felt like crying.

"Hyung. It's okay."

It's not okay Seokjin. You're a failure. Failure. Failure.

"Hyung. It really is okay. We can always go to the beach another time."

If you go back now, you failed.

I recollected myself and took a deep breath.

"No. We're going to the beach. Maybe the weather will clear up by the time we get there. Even if it doesn't there's a bowling course nearby."

Yoongi suddenl