CH 8: December 11, 2012

“Hyerin, hurry up,” I snappishly commanded. “We go on in 20 minutes, there's no time for this.”

Our final trainee showcase was to start in less than half an hour. It was supposed to be the final one; they would now make the final cuts, and form the final lineup. 

Many SM artists were attending. I had seen Super Junior’s Henry, SHINee’s Key and Jonghyun, Tiffany and Taeyeon from SNSD, and two of the Chinese EXO members as they entered the building. 

Needless to say, I was worrying my off. I was like an angry chihuahua, snapping and nearly growling at all those who bothered me. Like Hyerin was right now. 

She had left her bracelet in our changing room, and she absolutely could not go on without it. So, the desperate girl convinced me to go with her to get it just minutes before we were to go on. 

“Hyerin, how long does it take to find a bracelet? Hurry up!”

She popped out of the room at this, grinning. 

“Got it,” she announced in a sing song voice. “Thank you.” She batted her long eyelashes at me, her brown eyes smiling. 

“Then let's go.” I grabbed her bracelet clad wrist, breaking out into hurried walk. 

Hyerin and I had become fast friends over the course of a few months. Our coaches and choreographers loved pairing us up, they claimed we were a perfect combination of “the voice” and “the rap.”

Hyerin gave off a very badass vibe. She seemed nonchalant and aloof with her seemingly permanently annoyed facial expression, but she was adorably soft on the inside. 

We rushed backstage, where people were cluttered, trainees and staff members alike. The boys were on now. I could hear Super Junior’ “Mr. Simple” playing on stage. 

After them would be the girls in the lineup, then our solos. 

They had cut four girls from the original lineup of 12. There were now eight of us, including me, Hyerin, Emika, Jungha, Sixiao, Haeun, Ahra, and Minseo. Some of the girls had become super competitive and closed off following the first announcement of the lineup, others like Hyerin, Emika, and I had grown closers.

“Lineup on deck!” A staff member alerted us near the curtains blocking the entrance of the stage. We had rehearsed this what felt like a thousand times.

We would enter from the left side, walk onto the dark, unlit stage and get into our positions as the music began to play. There were no actual songs; our music was a remix of a ton. 

Our stage was roughly seven minutes of our choreography. Following this, we would all get off stage, excluding Hyerin, who would start her solo performance of her rap, Jessi’s “Give it All.” Then was Sixiao, following her was Minseo, then Emika, after Em came Ahra, and so on. I was the last. 

“Five minutes!” Somebody shouted. We had all gathered where we were supposed to, becoming a disorganized cluster of girls wearing leather and glitter. 

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself as anxiety s up to grab my throat. Emika, who was standing next to me, rubbed my back as I told myself: “mind, body, heart, and soul.”

“Two minutes!” I let my anxiety become excitement. It spread through me faster than it had before, making my body heat up as though I was back in those Texas summers. 

I breathed, inside-out, over and over as I bounced on the balls of my Nike-clad feet. My hands raised above my head, stretching out my muscles, preparing them for the equivalent of a game. 

The music stopped playing and applause became the main sound instead. 

“45 seconds!”