track 2: the end

Oh you should’ve just broken up with me
Did you want to be remembered as a good guy until the very end? 

They said an ending is a new beginning. 

Yuna will trust what they said, because it seems the most comforting words to hear, especially right now. Honestly, she doesn't know where did this courage to call him out come. Perhaps it has to do with something he said over the phone on their last conversation -which is like a week ago- and the way it made her want to see him and beat the out of him. Excuse, excuse, excuse. Yuna knows her worth better than for receiving his empty excuses. 

Sorry, busy with school. Meeting for students' night event. I have exams tomorrow. I'm sorry Yuna. 

Yuna was understanding. She's also busy with school and all. But she also wanted to see him, to spend a day or two with him like the other couples. He no longer called first, never sent texts first. His reply grew short and shorter. It feels like they aren't dating anymore. It feels like she was dumped after all. 

Seokmin's face is a blank paper against colorful neon signs and flickering light. He drinks his coke in silence, looking away from Yuna. She traces her gaze on his bony face, his severe lips. His curls of hair which Yuna loves to tangle her fingers in there.

Cold autumn wind brushes over her, swaying her hair behind her back. She tightens her jacket and breathes to warm up her body.  She hears her heart hammering inside her ribcage, as if telling herself it's now or the other way around. I miss you. I miss your face. I miss you. Miss you. Oh, how much Yuna wants to scream it out, right in front of his face. 

She holds it. 

Seokmin lets out a heavy sigh. They've been in this state of silence for a while, the air of awkwardness hangs thick around them. Neither wants to say it first, the goodbye. 

But Yuna has made up her mind. She will be the one who ends this mess. She has to put it to an end. She will hurt him like he hurt her. 

Nah. He won't be hurt at all. 

Suddenly that thought makes Yuna even sadder. The coke can in her hand has given away its cold that Yuna cannot distinguish which one is colder; the coke or her hands. 

"You know...."

Yuna clears . She has practiced her break up speech many times, but at this very time the words aren't coming out as she planned. 

"We should end this."

Seokmin's hand freezes in the air. His pupils are shaking, like he's angry. Like it's him who is betrayed. Like he's surprised that one day their relationship would end. 

"Why?"

Yuna cannot stomach it, to watch his expression. Is it relief there? Yes, relief. Sorry. Anger. Yuna doesn’t know what else is in Seokmin's face because it's the first time she sees it. 

"Just... well, just because."

Seokmin drops his empty can, kicks it. Yuna watches the can rolling to the gap of road railings, then stops before it falls. 

"I don't understand." Seokmin shakes his head. Yuna swallowed her tears. She won't cry. Nah. At least not in front of him. 

"You make me look like a very weird person, you know?"

Seokmin sighs once, then nods. "Okay, if that's what you want."

He pats Yuna's shoulder, lightly. She flinches at his touch, but quickly lifts her eyes to find his. 

"Take care."

Yuna watches as he walks away, turning his back to her. She has pictured this scene a thousand times in her mind, brushing it off that she would be okay when it actually happened. But Yu