October. 

 

An evening in Seoul was welcome by a downpour of rain, washing the earth. While everyone were walking hurriedly to reach their destination whilst holding an umbrella to shield themselve from the cold drops of rain, Soojung was walking with a slow pace without it.

From her hand to her cold expression, was as sharp as the broken shard of glass.

Her white paled skin was contrasted by her dark black hair and her light brown eyes stare emptily forward.

 

Her eyes drifted to the down street cafe with a signboard written  ' Alomof Cafe' with a red and black themes. When she push the door with some force, the bell chimmed loudly upon her arrival. Some of the customers turn to her and shooting her a weird  glance, which who wouldn't if someone pop up in a shop with a dreched clothes and soulles eyes. Her long dark hairs makes her more unapprochable. 

 

" Soojung!" One of the worker hurriedly took a towel and wrapped it around soojung's small frame when she saw her standing at the door like a lost puppy. 

 

" Anna" she tried to reply but only a whisper could be heard. Her lips turned purple and her face paler. Soojung smile softly, her eyes twinkling like every smile she had give to her bestfriend.

 

Anna shook her head, knowing her friend's habit of walking in the rain without an umbrella; it's not the first time though.

 

Eventhough she has been nag her everytime its happen, Soojung is obdurate. She would throw her sheepish smile and says that Anna was way too protective.

 

" Go.change.your.clothes.now" Anna said word by word. Soojung nodded. Before Soojung could move her leg to take a step, Anna caught her wrist, " took a shower. There is water heater, use it" 

 

Soojung nodded and scotted to the room at the back. She ignore the look from the other customers  and went to change her wet clothes. 

 

An hour later, Soojung came out wearing a black skinny jeans with a pair of red converse and a black extra large t-shirt, written HBA on it. She settle at the back corner of the cafe, shooting a look out of the glass wall that separate her from the outside world. 

 

The rain has stop and the street of myeongdongg start to filled with people again. Soojung's eyes catch a group of students, laughing and chatting with themselve, they look so lively. Soojung smiled at the sight

She used to be like them, a cheer, bright and the one who easily laugh freely by the jokes thrown by others. She let out a tired sigh. 

" What you're thinking about? " Anna sat infront of her and putting down a mug of black coffee, her favourite. Soojung muttered a thank and wrapped her hand around it. 

" Drink it up. You will catch a cold and fever or worse, you know? Don't make me reminded you once when you're having a hypothermia and was warded for days" Soojung let out a small laugh and drink her black coffee.

Anna eyes her friend.  “ Do you happy? By doing this?” Soojung let out a small chuckled. She understand clearly what Anna will brough late at the coffee table. She had ask her countless times already; if Soojung okay by living like this—and Soojung keep saying the same things

" I felt better. I don't know how the old me will copped with this, but I was indeed better”

Anna knew what Soojung has been through but she still think that Soojung's decision to discontinued her studies in medical field in a half way is absurb. It was her dream, to be a Neurosurgeon like she always boost about. She even did great in her studies, until the fate play a dirty trick on her, her parents died in a fatal crashed. Soojung was there tooㅡ luck was on her side that day, even she barely made it. Eventhough Soojung lost half of her memory.

Anna could only stare and weeping at the doorframe of the hospital's room when she saw how fragile and broke Soojung were. 

Soojung knew her, even not completely.

When Soojung was awake from comatose, it does took some time for her to remembered things. 

Soojung has change. Anna refuse to accept it as a good change. Anna tended to be more carefull around Soojung even after 3 years of the incident. The old Soojung was loud, high spirit, full of confidence and friendly.

Soojung left her college and continue  her family's bussiness. She said that she doesn't want to disappointed her parents when they work hard to built the business to be able to have their own francais now.  Anna, who still left a year before graduating from her University, major in Music and Art, works at Soojung's cafe on summer's break and whenever she has a free time to help Soojung. 

She want Soojung to move on, and if running her family's business makes her better again, Anna doesn't have the right to oppose it.

 Soojung's coughed pulling Anna away from the deep thought.

“ What did I say? Take the medicine before it's getting worse”, Anna said.

Soojung sheepishly grin and put away the mug. 

Anna let out a frustration sigh and went to continue her works.

She knew Soojung. She wouldn't even tried to implied her advice in her mind. She stole a last glance at her friend and notice how thin her body looks. Anna sigh in defeat thinking how to makes her friend better again.

 

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

 

Soojung's POV

 If i had a chance to turn back time, I would choose not too. Remembering the past could be hurt at time. I don't know. I've live in oblivion for so long, so long that I'd forgot what does having family felt like. From the things Anna would tell, mom and dad are nice. They loved me and I loved them. But somehow, the only few things I remembered about them was the time when on the way back home before the crashed.

There was one when I was in highschool, dad told mom to bring out the cake for my birthday to the dinner table. But when mom went to seach for it, it was nowhere to be seen. I was laughing so hard because mom and dad start to blame each other— and truly, i hid the cake. The day of my birthday also the day of their anniversaries. Mom and dad didn't really celebrates their's, but since i saw the cake so i hid them to change the decoration.

There were a few more, but it was the hazy one. I didn't really remember their faces but I knew they were really a good parents. 

It was raining again today. My body ached from laying on the bed all day but i know, its only the side effect of everything. I start noticing how my body no more want me to accept food in my body. Whenever i ate, i'll end up throwing out again and having difficulities to digest them. My throat dried and my body getting weak.

I stop taking any portion at night. I couldn't stand the pains that piercing every part of my body. Maybe because i drank less plain water, maybe because i ate less carbohidrate or maybe my body just couldn't function normally anymore. It's become unbearable that i've lost count how many painkiller i've swallowed and when is the last time I go to sleep without woke up in cold sweat, searching for a painkiller like my life depends on it.

Everything slowly eating me inside. 

Like tonight, I went to sleep early but woke up by the throbbing pain inside my stomach. I tried to reach for a bottle of painkiller on the nightstand but it was nowhere to be seen. The pains getting unbearable that when i tried to stand up, my legs gave up and  slump down by a gravity force. There were barely any energy left in me. I could feel  the sharp pain slowly pull me into the dark hole. I was greet by a darkness afterward.

 

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

 

Dizzy.

 

That's what Soojung felt when her eyeslid flattered to open themselve. Her head throbbing with pain from the smell of medicine. Everything looks so white and bright around her, it makes her heart thump loudly, thinking she was already in heaven. No way

 

But  Anna would kill me again when we met in heaven because i died earlier than her andㅡ

 

"I see you are awake now, Miss Jung" Soojung flinch at the voice who came from a woman, amids 20-an if she could say, wearing a uniform, a nurse. 

So she was at the hospital. Soojung looks at the needle on her left arm—Soojung let out relieve sigh. Due to the heavy pains throbbing her head, she closed her eyes again and tried to composed herself. 

At least i am still alive 

unfortunately

When Soojung open her eyes again, the nurse was already gone. She let her eyeslid shut , wanting to go back to sleep but a question from the back of her head crawling and thirsty for the answer of  'Who did bring her here' 

Her question was answered by the sight of Anna open the door wit