~~ BaekHyun's POV ~~

[5 hours ago - 9pm]

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"Damn it! I should have controlled my facial expression!" BaekHyun suddenly blurted in the waiting room after his 'Dream' performance with Suzy.

"Hyung! I looked too happy don't I ??!!" shoving his phone right in front of Manager Hyung's face for confirmation.

"Seems like it, Baek" Manager Hyung affirmed. "*!" fumbling with his mobile, he quickly opened his messaging app - Katalk.

To: MyGiantPika
Baby.. How was work?

-2 minutes later-

To: MyGiantPika
Baby.. Are you home?

-5 minutes later-

To: MyGiantPika
Babe?

 

"Baek, Let's go.. You have to appear for the closing", Manager Hyung popped up from behind the door and called out to BaekHyun. "Be there in a minute, Hyung!" still staring at his messages, hoping for a reply soon enough before he has to go. He just needed a confirmation that he was at home, and hopefully did not see all the updates on Twitter.

Still not receiving any reply from the messages that he sent, he sent a last message.

To: MyGiantPika
Yeol~ I got to go do the closing soon. I'll see you back at home tonight yea! I miss you. Please reply once you get this. At least let me know you're home. Love~

Reluctantly he turned off his phone and kept it in his bag. All the while hoping that his giant Pika will be there when he reach home later.

---

 

[4 hours ago - 10pm]

After GDA, his label company has decided to throw him an after party to congratulate him on winning his first award after the solo digital debut. Since he was the main guest and everyone they know came to the after party to congratulate him, he can't just say no and bail from it. Reluctantly he agreed to attend the party and made a deal with Manager Hyung to leave the party by 12AM.

"Hyung! Promise me we'll be home by 12!" - BaekHyun asked his Manager Hyung.

"Yes, Baek. I know you want to get home to him. But you have your priorities here as an artist. Just attend this party and we'll get you home by 12AM. Deal?" - Manager Hyun understandingly replied to BaekHyun.

"Thanks Hyung! I really appreciate it" BaekHyun replied thankfully. "So... what did he get you? You boys have a date tonight? Having "fun" tonight?" his manager quirked an eyebrow and asked him cheekily. "HYUNG!!! Keep your voice down!" BaekHyun blushed and walked away quickly to the car park leaving Manager Hyung walking slightly behind him. "PLAY SAFE THOUGH!!" Manager Hyung chuckled and called out from a far, he ran the same way BaekHyun was at and drove them to the party.

Once he got into the car, he quickly took his phone from the bag and turned it on. Hoping to see a couple of messages from his GiantPika, but was very much disappointed when there was no new message after the ones that he had sent an hour ago. He tried calling - MyGiantPika

The number you have dialled is currently unavailable. Please try again later.

Quickly he the messaging application again and typed anxiously.

To: MyGiantPika
Yeol~ Babe? Is everything alright? If it's about the pictures you're seeing please don't take it as is alright. I'll explain to you later. Where are you? I haven't heard from you. I'm worried. Call me back please. Text me?

-Sent-

To: MyGiantPika
Right! I forget to mention this before I send.. I have to attend the after party Yeol. SM wants me there.. I can’t bail on this.. I'll be back by 12. I promise~ Wait for me alright. I love you.

-Sent-

---

 

Along the ride to the after party, BaekHyun has been turning his phone on and off to make sure that the line is working. Hoping that he will get a call or a message soon from ChanYeol.

But none came.

Once Manager Hyung told him that they've arrived at the club for the after party, he put on a smile and opened the door. Clicks and flashes was blaring the moment the press saw his arrival. He keeps telling himself that he needs to concentrate on his priority as an artist now. But still keeping ChanYeol at the back of his mind. Still worrying about his whereabouts behind those eye crescent smile the fans and press love so much.

As the time strucks 11.30PM, BaekHyun quickly looked around for his manager. "Hyung! Can we go now please?" - BaekHyun said hurriedly to Manager Hyung. "Hold on Baek! SM prepared a birthday cake for KimKai. It's his birthday tomorrow. They're planning to suprise him at 12. Stay till then alright?" Manager Hyung pointed to a huge cake getting pulled out on a wheelie from the kitchen. Grunted to himself, once again BaekHyun reluctantly agreed. "Fine! But we'll get going right after!". After all, KimKai was his best friend in SM. He would sometimes spend time with KimKai to perfect his dance move. KimKai instead, would drag him to the vocal room for practise as well.

Quickly hiding himself in the corner, he took out his phone to check if there was any new message, and yet there was nothing. He quickly typed in a quick message and sent before he was dragged away by Manager Hyung again.

To: MyGiantPika
Baby~ where are you!? why are you not replying? please tell me you're ok! Baby please don't believe what you see on the updates please. I love you. I'll see you later. Love~

---

 

-12AM-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIMKAI!!

Everyone was cheering and singing for the birthday boy that was standing at the podium. KimKai made a speech and thanked his label company, his friends, his manager hyung and noonas, everyone in the entire company - because that's how sincere and kind KimKai is. Everyone loves him. KimKai made a shoutout to BaekHyun and asked him to share the podium with him as he gave a speech, congratulating BaekHyun on his win.

One thing lead to another, BaekHyun got pulled to rounds and rounds of toasting, cheering and drinking by the SM employees as they congratulate him for his win again. After he had made sure that no one was left out, he quickly pulled his Manager Hyung to the corner.

"Hyung! We really have to go. ChanYeol has not been replying me since 10 just now. I'm really worried that something happened! You know how he is! He must have seen the updates. Please.. we have to go now!" BaekHyun pleaded his Manager Hyung. Understanding his urgency, Manager Hyung nodded and lead the way out of the party.

"Hyung! Step on it... quickly!"

BaekHyun urges his Manager hyung after he hops into his car. Looking at his phone, the time tells him it’s already 2AM! He was very very very late. All the while, BaekHyun was fidgeting on his seat and dialing the same number over and over again. Unfortunately, it was sent to voice mail.

---

 

~~ ChanYeol's POV ~~

[7 hours ago - 7PM]

Reaching home with bags and bags of ingredients, ChanYeol is planning to surprise BaekHyun with a cake that he will bake himself. Not just any cake, but BaekHyun's favourite Strawberry Shortcake. ChanYeol has done his research weeks before today. The best place that sells the freshest, biggest and sweetest strawberry - only the best for BaekHyun!

Seeing that it was BaekHyun's first attendance at an award show and was also nominated for the 'Best Digital Bonsang Award' with Suzy, he was so proud of his boyfriend's achievement in a short period of time.

To say the least, he loved the song the duet has sang. 'Dream' was actually written by both himself and BaekHyun, but of course since he was a no body in real life, no one knows about it.

 

- Flashback -

It was one weekend afternoon when BaekHyun had the day off from his schedules that he got to stay home with ChanYeol. They didn't want to go anywhere and have decided to stay home and watch a movie - 'About Time'.

As the movie goes on, they started reminiscing the first time they've met at the studio.

"You know... I still feel like this is a Dream, Baekkie.. Having you here with me felt so surreal." - ChanYeol said softly as he look down at his lap, smoothing the fringe on his forehead, BaekHyun was laying on his lap as a pillow while they watch the movie.

"I never knew anyone could look so pretty... not a boy at least." ChanYeol chuckled as he continues, all the while still softly caressing BaekHyun's hair. "I felt like it was just yesterday, when we're at the studio and I bumped into you at the hall way. Isn't it Baekkie ah?"

Slowly turning his head, BaekHyun was furiously blushing at ChanYeol's words. BaekHyun was never one that speaks well of his feeling. He never knew how to express himself with words, unlike ChanYeol, he speaks his mind. ChanYeol explains everything with flourished words and deep with beautiful meaning.

BaekHyun shows his love through action. Sitting up from ChanYeol's lap, BaekHyun held onto ChanYeol's cheek and gave him a shy nod, agreeing with ChanYeol. Closing the distance between them, BaekHyun gave him a loving kiss on the lips and shied away with a quick question, trying to change the topic at hand - "What's for dinner Yeol?"

Laughing out loud, ChanYeol knows what BaekHyun was doing with that question. "Babe! You're changing the topic again! Everytime when I'm pouring out my mushy mushy feelings.. you'll definitely change the subject! Are you still that shy?" ChanYeol continued laughing as he sees BaekHyun blushing again. "Oh baby, what am I to do with you" ChanYeol says as he pinched BaekHyun's cheek. "Let's order in today alright? What do you feel like having Baek?"

Although BaekHyun is not very vocal about his feelings, he keeps ChanYeol's words deep in his heart, not once questioning ChanYeol's feeling for him. Also, BaekHyun remembers everything that ChanYeol has said to him. Bit by bit, day by day, BaekHyun notes on all the mushy lines that ChanYeol had said to him. With that, Baekhyun creates a melodic Dream just for ChanYeol.

BaekHyun worked hard on the song with his producer. Once completed to perfection, BaekHyun pitched the song to his company for a solo-duet digital debut, and was approved!

The time when BaekHyun played the song for him, he was in utter shock with the suprise and did not realize that he was crying bullets. He was so touched with BaekHyun's sincere act for their relationship.

---

 

[Back to Present]

Placing the ingredients at the kitchen top, he plugged in his iPod and DREAM. He sang along to DREAM happily while waiting for the LIVE show on Vapp. He can’t miss out on the show of his boyfriend's award winning can he?

He looked around the cupboard to find a vase for the bouquet that he bought on the way back earlier and placed it on the table for setup. Remembering what BaekHyun liked best, he got the prettiest, blooming Baby's Breathe bouquet. Then, he took out the CONGRATULATIONS! Garland and hung it up on the wall facing right in front of the front door, so that BaekHyun will see it the moment he steps in.

Adding on to the decorations, he opened a pack of rose petal and laid it on both sides along the walk way from the front door all the way to the kitchen table where the cake will be placed later. ChanYeol even got little candles and placed it in between the rose petals that he plans to light up later. Taking a step back, he looked at the setup he smiled to himself, proud of his own preparations for BaekHyun.

Taking out the ingredients from the shopping bag, ChanYeol placed them all on the kitchen top and started preparing to batter. He washes the strawberry cleanly and placed them in the fridge to make sure it’s still fresh and juicy. Then he cracks the egg yolk and sorted out the whites in another bowl. Calmly, he takes the flour and measure it to perfection and placed it in the mixing bowl. Adding in some butter and vanilla essence, the batter is ready for mixing.

Little does anyone knows, ChanYeol is a great baker! He only bakes for his closest friends and sometimes he supplies his special made cakes to the bakery nearby when there are personalized order for special occasion. No one knows about it because the cakes he made was sold with the bakery's name and not his. Only BaekHyun knows about this hidden talent of his boyfriend, and he was very excited when he first found out because he loves cakes!

Once the batter is done mixing, he poured it into the pan, ready for bake! Turning the switch to 1 hour and 15mins, he then worked on the egg whites to make the fresh cream. Once it’s done, he then placed it in the fridge for chill and waits for the cake to bake.

Seeing that he has plenty of time before the cake is ready for decoration, he went to clean himself up and plopped himself on the sofa, just in time for the GDA LIVE show. He is all ready to watch his baby receive this award!

As the show started, celebrities started to arrive at the red carpet one by one for the award show. The moment BaekHyun arrived at the red carpet, ChanYeol couldn't help but to take his phone and started taking pictures of BaekHyun on the TV screen.

"Ahh... Baby's so pretty today as usual!" ChanYeol can’t help but mumble to himself, still taking pictures from the TV screen. Once BaekHyun is out of the screen, he sat back down and looked over all the photos that he's captured.

Suddenly he heard the MC announcing the next artist for the show - CNBLUE to perform 'You're So Fine'. ChanYeol was flustered for a moment as he didn’t know CNBLUE will be performing for the award show this year and he knows very well the meaning of this song and who was it for.

Cracking his brain, he does not remember BaekHyun ever mentioning about CNBLUE performing at the show at all, because he knows how sensitive ChanYeol is when it’s about this particular topic.

In all honestly, he doesn’t have anything against CNBLUE or to be more specific, Jung YongHwa in person, but it was his low self-esteem that always makes him doubt himself whenever this name was mentioned.

CNBLUE started performing the show with full confidence and a top star level showmanship, ChanYeol felt so low in confidence that he curled his long legs on the sofa and wrapped his arms around it. All the while still enjoying the show until the camera start panning across the stage. Following YongHwa in sight as he walked towards the other artists that was seating at the waiting area.

The moment YongHwa stopped beside BaekHyun, and he saw the both of them in one frame, dancing happily to YongHwa singing 'You're So Fine', while having his arm clinging onto BaekHyun’s shoulder, all of ChanYeol’s self-control just crumbled and died along with his heart.

Although he knows that this was just an act between YongHwa and BaekHyun, he can’t help to think to himself of all the possible ‘WHAT IFs’.

‘What if, BaekHyun has never chosen to be with him?’

‘What if, BaekHyun was still with YongHwa, will he be happier?’

‘What if, YongHwa was able to give BaekHyun more than what he can?

‘What if…’

 

- Flashback -

From the start of the relationship with BaekHyun, ChanYeol has always doubted himself. He never believed that he could give BaekHyun what he wants and provide him happiness, not with his awkward personality. He was shy and an introvert. He tends to avoid speaking to anyone or look at anyone. He only has one best friend – Kyungsoo from his hometown. BaekHyun has only met him once ever since he got together with ChanYeol. He gets in contact with Kyungsoo only if absolutely necessary and would usually be via text messages. He was never confident in speaking as he feels that his voice was too deep for anyone to get used to. His appearance was dull, his ears sticks out too much, he wears a thick frame glasses, and his hair was curly and unruly. He wears a cap all the time to keep them tame. He was never fashionable as well, he never had the need to dress up well, since he’s always in his kitchen or teaching at the studio. He didn’t need to look good for anyone. Not until the day he met BaekHyun at the hallway.

The time when BaekHyun has confessed to him, they were at the studio. He remembered BaekHyun confessed with , “I’m glad I met you ChanYeol ah.. You’ve somewhat balanced up the ‘craziness’ in my life with your simplicity. And that’s what I was looking for this whole time... Me being able to be myself.. I never thought I would have found it.. It was like a dream. A dream I never thought I could ever have… You’re like… my dream. And I.. I think I like you ChanYeol..”

“WHAT?” ChanYeol was definitely shocked to hear BaekHyun confessed to him that way. He was not expecting BaekHyun to see him as anything more than a friend. Or has he ever had any hope for a special someone like BaekHyun to have feelings for an ordinary like ChanYeol.

“I said I think I like you ChanYeol… Wait… That’s not right. I don’t know how to do this…” BaekHyun quietly said and he saw that ChanYeol had sadly sighed with his head hanging low. All the while thinking ‘Of course he wouldn’t like you dummy.. What makes you special for him to like you.. It’s fairly impossible… Its highly impossible.. You’re just weird! No one likes you!’.

“Stop over thinking ChanYeol ah.. Listen to me!.. I know you’re over thinking right now.. Stop it!” BaekHyun quickly said as he sees ChanYeol frowning to himself. “You’re not ordinary ChanYeol ah.. You’re special.. and you’re my type of special..” BaekHyun said shyly as ChanYeol returns his attention to him.

“I know how insecure you are with your Yoda ears. Don’t pretend I don’t know how you’re always trying to hide them under that cap and that oversized hoodie of yours.” BaekHyun said with a tease as he pulls the hoodie back and peels open the cap that was covering half of his head. He runs his fingers over ChanYeol’s tangled hair, smoothing it to a side and softly held onto ChanYeol’s ears. “I think they’re cute.. and only I can call them Yoda-ears” ChanYeol blushed.

“I know how you hated your voice too.. but that rumble your voice make when you talk, keeps me calm when I’m stressed. And.. you probably can’t see it for yourself… but you look beautiful when you’re playing the piano.. ChanYeol ah.. You’re beautiful. Would you trust me?” BaekHyun held onto ChanYeol’s hand tightly, as if asking for a confirmation.

Seeing that ChanYeol was still at a daze and has yet to say anything after he blurted out his confession, BaekHyun continued “And I meant to say.. I  I like you.” Hearing his word, ChanYeol slowly lifted his head and looked at BaekHyun.

“And you’re mine too” ChanYeol said softly.

“Huh?” BaekHyun was so confused with ChanYeol’s reply as it doesn’t directly reply to his confession, nor does it outright rejected him.

“You said.. I am your dream..” ChanYeol said calmly trying to explain himself. “And.. you’re mine too.. I like my dream”

“After all that I have said about how special you are to me, how I liked all the awkwardness about you… and all you’ve heard me say was You’re my dream?!” BaekHyun chuckled to himself as he realized how funny the entire situation was. As he looked up to ChanYeol, he was quietly nodding and agreeing to BaekHyun’s statement.

“Goodness.. what am I to do with you Giant” BaekHyun said as he smiled sweetly at ChanYeol.

---

 

[Back to present]

ChanYeol has never questioned BaekHyun’s past and has accepted him for who he was when he met him at the studio. Not the ‘idol-in-the-making’ Byun BaekHyun that everyone was screaming for, but the Byun BaekHyun that has accepted him for who he is and the Byun BaekHyun that has given him the courage to reveal his feelings for BaekHyun.

But even so, he still doubts himself from time to time when his low self-esteem comes crashing. He can’t seem to stop it no matter how hard he controls himself. He relies mostly on BaekHyun when it comes to calming himself down, but sometimes he feels useless. He feels that he’s a burden to BaekHyun. He always thinks that BaekHyun could have a way better life without him in the way.

Seeing BaekHyun enjoying himself with YongHwa has once again let his low self-esteem take over his rationale on the entire situation. He couldn’t help but keep repeating the constant “WHAT IFs”

‘What if, BaekHyun has never chosen to be with him?’

‘What if, BaekHyun was still with YongHwa, will he be happier?’

‘What if, YongHwa was able to give BaekHyun more than what he can?

‘What if…’

 

Giving up on himself, he has decided to switch off the LIVE broadcast and went to check on the cake that was still in bake. Seeing that it takes another 30minutes, he then took out all the tools he needed to decorate the cake. As he was working in the kitchen, he hasn’t stopped mumbling to himself “Baekkie will be back soon. He’ll like the cake wont he? He promised he will be back". 

As though his mind and body was not working together, he drops his baking tools and curled his body on the to himself, sitting on the kitchen floor. He couldn't help but let a single tear slip through his lids. His mind was working on over drive, he didn't know if he should call BaekHyun or if he should just wait for BaekHyun to be back. He just needs to hear BaekHyun's voice to calm himself down. 

Using the back of his hands to wipe away the tears he reached out for his phone and switched it on. Before he could press on the dial button, there were tonnes of Twitter notification flooding his inbox, mostly were updates from BaekHyun's fansite fanmasters. (He follows them to get instant update or pictures when BaekHyun is out on schedule.) Out of curiosity, ChanYeol clicked on the notifications. He had regretted it immediately.

 

@YoongBaekShippers : Heol! Daebak!!!!! YoongBaek ship is sailing again!!!

@YoongBaek4eva : OMG!!! They look so cute together!! Are they back together??? I hope they do!!

@Aerinim : Wuuuaahhhhh!!!! I cant believe Baek did that on LIVE TV!!!! 

@LoveYoong : I guess the rumor was rightttt!!! OP saw YoongBaek at the SM cafe last month!!! YoongBaek SHIP!!!

@BaekAGA : Are they back together??? I HOPE SOOO!! 

 

BaekHyun met YongHwa last month? Why didn't BaekHyun say anything at all? Was he hiding it from me? Was BaekHyun really going to get back with YongHwa after all? ChanYeol cant help but to think of the worst after scrolling through photos from the timeline updates. As though giving up on himself, ChanYeol let his tears fall freely. He couldn't stop it anymore. Seeing BaekHyun's smilling face, he really thinks that BaekHyun would be much better off without him. It would be less of a burden for BaekHyun.

Placing his phone on the kitchentop, he wiped off the tears on his cheecks and finished up the cake decoration bit by bit to perfection. Thinking to himself, he only has this one cake as a gift for BaekHyun, it has to be perfect. He couldn't give and provide BaekHyun with anything else. Putting on the last strawberry on the cake, ChanYeol sobbed in dispair. He needs to get away as soon as possible to clear his mind and to let go of everything. Walking into the living area, he looked at the decorations that he's put up, turned to the sofa that reminds him of the day when they both spend their free time together. His tears wouldn't stop flowing reminiscing back to those times.

I guess BaekHyun didn't know how to tell me about YongHwa. I would just make the decision one last time. Hopefully it will lessen his burden. ChanYeol thought to himself as he walked out the door.