“So here’s his number, text him what time and place and whatever. He’s nice you’ll probably like him. His name’s Jackson” Jinyoung handed Jaebum his phone so he could get the number.

“You sound really enthusiastic” Jaebum mumbled.

“Well Jaebum, every date I’ve set you up on so far has just ‘not worked out’ or you don’t ‘connect’.” Jinyoung rolled his eyes.

“Then why do you keep setting me up on dates?”

“Because you’re lonely and you’ve been single for ages but mostly whenever we go drinking you get miserable and moan about being single. You think I’m doing this for my own gratification? This is for you; you should be grateful.”

“Well, fine. Thank you.”

“I mean six dates so far how could none of them lead to even a second date? I mean are you that bad? What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you talk to people?”

“I don’t know.” Jaebum mumbled. “Actually I don’t know why I’m bothering with this date; it’ll just be the same. We should cancel, I don’t- “

“Nonono. See I thought about it this time and set you up with the most talkative person I know; there is no way there’ll be any awkward silences. And if this one doesn’t at least get you having a conversation then I give up, I’m done. No it’ll work this time” Jinyoung’s words were confident but his expression was not.

“Lucky number seven.” Jaebum sighed.

***

On the night of the date Jaebum tried to put extra effort into his look. He was trying really hard to be optimistic but couldn’t help feeling a bit hopeless. He didn’t know why he couldn’t talk on dates; he could speak to people easily usually. But there was just something about the idea of a date and the social expectations and pressure that causes his mind to shut down and forget how talking works; it was especially worse if he really liked the person.

His phone buzzed; he had text.

‘Hey! It’s me your date, I’ll meet you outside the restaurant at eight J.’ Well at least Jackson seemed enthusiastic. Meeting outside the restaurant though? What if there’s more than one person standing outside the restaurant, how will he know whose Jackson? Jaebum wondered if he should ask Jackson what he’s wearing but thought that would be weird. Now Jaebum really didn’t want to go.

“Come on pull yourself together it doesn’t matter.” Jaebum said to himself but really it didn’t help.

As it turns out there was no problems with meeting his date. Jaebum had phoned Jinyoung in a panic and Jinyoung had kindly sent Jaebum a picture of Jackson. And Jackson was hot! Jaebum was now a little excited but also more nervous.

Jaebum spotted Jackson as soon as he arrived. He looked amazing, wearing black skinny jeans with a white shirt and black leather jacket. He was even more attractive in real life and Jaebum was quickly forgetting that words exist.

“Hello, you must- are you-you’re Jackson.’ Jaebum stuttered, greeting his date. ‘Great Jaebum that’s great!’ he thought.

Jackson turned at Jaebum’s greeting, a smirk on his face, although his face quickly fell blank. Jaebum grew nervous. Jackson didn’t reply to what he said. Did he get the wrong guy? He looks like the guy in the picture.

‘S-sorry are you Jackson?’ Jaebum said, his throat starting to close up. Jackson’s eyes widened slightly for a second, still staring at Jaebum. He gave a short nod. Jaebum awkwardly signalled to go into the restaurant and they went in.

‘I thought Jinyoung said this guy was talkative’ Jaebum thought, as they were shown to their table and sat there in a very awkward silence. He felt weird, Jackson hadn’t said one word to him and he could barely manage to say a word to Jackson in return. The more Jaebum looked at Jackson the more attracted he became to him and the less he could form sentences in his head. Jackson was now avoiding looking at Jaebum at all costs and seemed to be fidgeting. Jackson looked around the restaurant.

“This… yeah nice restaurant.” He said, still not looking at Jaebum. He spoke! His voice was nice, Jaebum thought. However, Jaebum himself could barely grunt an expression of agreement in return.

Their waiter came and gave them their menus. Good something to occupy ourselves with, Jaebum thought.

“What you thinking of having?” Jackson eyes were glued to the menu as he spoke to.

“I…just-um still looking.” Jaebum sputtered out. Oh man it was really bad this time; he can’t talk at all. His face grew red.

“I was thinking maybe risotto sounds good I- “Jackson briefly cast his eyes up at Jaebum and stopped mid-sentence. “” he said, quietly and under his breath but Jaebum still heard it. Same, he thought. The waiter arrived and took their order. While talking to the waiter they could both talk perfectly.

“I’m just- please excuse me I need to use the bathroom.” Jackson got up.

‘ he’s leaving. , I bet he’s leaving I’m too awkward’ Jaebum mentally scolded himself ‘Oh my god Jaebum you’ve gone and ing done it again- wait… he’s left his phone here… and he just ordered food... maybe he’s not leaving.’ Now Jaebum grew nervous again. He took out his phone.

‘Jinyoung I really like him! He won’t even look at me though. What’s his job? What’s he into? I have to try talking, give me something! I really really like him.’ Jaebum sent the message, put his phone on the table and bit on his nail hoping Jinyoung would reply quickly. Just a second later there was a buzz and Jaebum grabbed his phone. But no new messages. Must be Jackson’s phone, Jaebum thought. Suddenly a feeling of horror descended. He looks over at Jackson’s phone which is just fading to black.

‘Nonononono.’ He mumbles, scrambling to open his phone, messing up the passcode at least seven times. ‘!’. Jackson, the contact read. He’d sent it to Jackson. Jaebum felt like screaming but was trying to keep it together. He took a deep breath. He glanced over to Jackson’s phone, debating whether to try and delete the message before Jackson got back. He’d probably have a passcode on it but there’s a chance he didn’t. He reached across the table.

“Sorry I took so long.”

 Jaebum shot back in chair. Jackson was back. Jaebum looked on in horror as Jackson sat down and immediately checked his phone. He couldn’t say anything, he was frozen, he felt sick. Jackson frowned slightly at his phone before swiping to see the message. Then a small smile appeared on his lips, although Jaebum did not notice as his mind was now the mental equivalent of jelly forced through a sieve. Jackson was now typing. Then Jaebum’s phone, which he had tightly gripped in his hand, buzzed. This brought Jaebum semi out of his trance. He looked at his phone. ‘Jackson messaged me, that’s strange’ he thought, perhaps not totally back to himself again. He opened the text.

‘Well Jaebum, I think he really likes you too, so much so that he can’t even look at you. Jackson coaches fencing and I know he likes talking about how attractive he is.’ The text read. Jaebum was confused. He looked at the contact again. No it was definitely Jackson who sent it to him. ‘he really likes you too’. Jaebum read over it several times, butterflies started somersaulting in his stomach again but for a much nicer reason. ‘Fencing, okay I’ll ask him about fencing.’ Jaebum smiled, building up confidence. He looked up from his phone.

“S-so fencing what- “. Still couldn’t talk. Jaebum went back to his phone. While he typed their food arrived.

‘Fencing sounds really cool. Where do you coach? (Btw you may not know this, but… you’re super attractive)’ Jaebum sent, feeling a bit put out that he still couldn’t speak a sentence but happy that at least he could communicate some way.

Jackson smiled warmly at Jaebum’s attempt at speaking. His phoned buzzed and he smiled at the text too. This felt like a surreal situation. Jackson never thought he’d be made so speechless before.

‘At a sports centre in town, it’s a really nice place actually and I’ve got some really talented trainees. What about you? (Me attractive! No way! What’s attractive about me?)’ Jackson replied.

‘I’m a librarian currently, although I’m also studying for my MA. (Oh you know, you’re face and stuff)’

‘Ah a librarian, is that why you can’t talk (joking). (What about my face?)’

Jaebum blushed slightly, but smiled. He really liked Jackson.  

‘Actually I can usually speak to people with reasonable ease, it’s just on dates… What’s your excuse? Jinyoung said you’re the most talkative person he knows; was he being sarcastic? (It’s quite handsome)’

‘No I have to admit that maybe Jinyoung was being semi accurate. I don’t know, it’s weird, when I look at you I just can’t talk.(Really?! I don’t believe it.)’

‘Should I wear a mask or something, would that help ha-ha. (Believe it!)’

‘If you’re into that kind of stuff… (But don’t cause you’re really handsome too)’

Jaebum could hear Jackson sniggering to himself so he couldn’t help but giggle a little bit. Jaebum was going to reply, but he saw Jackson was typing again so he waited.

‘This is fun but it does look a bit weird us just sitting here texting each other over dinner and I think at some point it is necessary for us to actually try to talk to each other.’ Jackson’s text read. Jaebum sighed, he was right.

‘Yes I agree.’

‘Right well let’s do this.’

‘Yep’

‘Okay’

‘Okay’

‘Right this is the last text’

Jaebum took a deep breath. He felt he was being silly, he felt so comfortable talking over text but he was so scared he would freeze up again. No, if he wanted to see Jackson again he would have to talk to him. Okay, let’s go. He looked up. Jackson was already looking at him. They both froze. The whole world went into slow motion. Then Jackson smiled. Jaebum felt relief rush through him; he smiled back.

“Hi” Jackson said, his voice only shaking the tiniest bit.

“Hi” Jaebum replied.