Sunggyu was rifling through the envelopes Woohyun had set aside for him, mail that had collected throughout the week, needing to be sorted. They were mostly of minimal importance, bills and invitations, things he didn't care about but had to be taken care of – it was his part of household chores.

He was about to put the stack of envelopes down, ready to be filed away when one caught his eye. It was postmarked Shanghai and the handwriting was unfamiliar but something about it made his stomach flip. He tore the top of the envelope open. Inside, there was an expensive white sheet of paper with only a few words scribbled on it: baseball, today, lunch. He turned the envelope upside down for more, only a white petal fell out, that of a lily. His heart started pounding – this could mean only one thing. But when had he received this letter? Was he too late?

He checked the petal again - it was still fresh, so despite the Shanghai postmark, today must mean today. It was meant to look like he had gotten a letter from China but he had a hunch that this letter had been hand delivered, probably someone in a postman costume. The cryptic message didn't make him falter. He checked the clock on the wall – it was 12pm already – he needed to get to the baseball field where Sungjong used to take him by 1pm. Lunch time was always 1pm when Sungjong used to look after him.

Dropping the rest of the letters in a drawer he got up to get dressed. His message must have been passed onto Sungjong then. He still couldn’t believe that he was going to meet Sungjong – the Blood Lily. He tried to check his emotions but he didn’t know what they were. A part of him didn’t want to go. Would it be a trap?

No, Sungjong had protected him so far – his men could have finished him off, he could have finished him off a long time ago, if he had ordered. It was never Sungjong’s intention to harm him, in any way.

“Where are you going?” Woohyun asked, entering their bedroom. He had spent the Saturday morning at the gym as he did every week. Sunggyu usually stayed home, reading.

“Just uh-” his boyfriend had caught him off guard. His thoughts were racing as he tried to calculate every possibility of this fateful meeting. “I’m going to check on Myungsoo,” he blurted out, pulling a jacket on.

“Is he okay?” Woohyun looked concerned.

“Yeah, I mean, I’m sure he is. I just wanted to go and talk to him, make sure he’s not spending his day off alone.”

“Good idea,” Woohyun muttered, “You should have lunch together. I’ll see you for dinner?”

He nodded as Woohyun kissed him on the cheek before dashing out of the house, heart hammering. A part of him didn’t want to believe Sungjong would actually put himself out there, at risk of being exposed, just because he wanted to talk. And yet, the Blood Lily had surprised him before.

While driving to the baseball field he used to frequent with Sungjong, his mind was in turmoil. Several times, he had dialled Myungsoo's number only to disconnect the call. Telling Myungsoo about Sungjong would be the kind of betrayal he couldn't bring himself to commit. At the same time, he felt that he was betraying his brother. After all, his brother needed Sungjong way more than he did.

Of course his main goal was to try and convince Sungjong to tell Myungsoo himself but a part of him already knew that the Blood Lily would never listen to the request. It was dangerous to reveal himself, it concerned his safety. There was no way Sungjong would risk all of that – he was rebuilding his empire even now. Yet, Sunggyu owed it to his brother to at least try.

The baseball field was quiet like it had always been when he used to come. There were not many children in the neighbourhood, certainly none that came here regularly. It was a miracle that they hadn't turned this place into something else. Everything here was worn out - someone had half-heartedly mowed the grass not bothering with the stray leaves here and there. He seemed to have entered one of his earliest dreams, his last life – everything was familiar yet distant.

His footsteps slowed down as he covered the familiar grounds. This was where he had last met Sungjong, had been made aware that he was alive after all. This was where he had let the Blood Lily walk away - the same Blood Lily whose gang had his mother's blood on his hand. This was where Sungjong had held him close a year ago while shivers ran through him as invisible claws gripped at him.

It was a bittersweet place. He almost liked to think that it was his and Sungjong's place. He plopped down onto a bench, checking his watch anxiously. He wasn't too late. Anticipation turned to fear as he realised that this might all be a trap. For a second, he felt like a prey, like he had been when he had tried to bring Sungjong’s empire down 2 years ago. If he could see 10 steps ahead, Sungjong could see a hundred.

He tried to calm himself down by counting the seconds. After 256, he lost count. His throat felt heavy. After what seemed like eternity, he checked his watch again.  It's been 15 minutes.

“Do you have to be somewhere?”

It was the oddest thing ever. The person who plopped down beside him on the bench could have been a stranger, with the padded jacket, hood pulled low over his face, and leather boots. And yet the voice was so familiar like he heard it only yesterday.

“S-sungjong?” his voice wavered, like he just woke up from a dream.

“Sorry, Taemin insisted on checking a 10-mile radius for your police buddies. Hope I didn't keep you waiting for too long.”

“I've waited too long,” Sunggyu wanted to say but whatever was sat in his throat seemed to pull the vocal chords together like a spider. His eyes took in the familiar silhouette with a greedy interest. Sungjong’s side profile shone against the pale noon, a weak ray of sun dancing on his nose tip, his lips pink and moist. His hands were folded in his lap, like he was worried what he might do with them, and ankles crossed.  He had probably lost some weight, he could tell even under the heavy padded jacket. He had never really watched Sungjong – before when his mind was muddled, Sungjong had been a figure of warmth. But now, before him was a person. A person he didn’t now how to feel about, a person many called a monster.

“How have you been?”

His voice was one thing he remembered very clearly. At night, when he would be overcome with nightmares and there would be screaming devils inside his head, Sungjong’s voice had been the only thing that could calm him down. With his soothing voice, he had vanquished the monsters.

“Good. You?”

Sungjong chuckled, the sound exceptionally endearing to his ears.

“What did you want to tell me? What had to be told in person? You know,” the younger turned to face him. “You had me worried.”

His eyes were so bright, that for a moment, he had to look away. It was like Sungjong was a galaxy, with stars for eyes. The pale triangle of his neck shone at him.

“Maybe I just wanted to see you. I missed you.”  He didn’t know what had come over him - it was one of those weird moments where you don't know how much you missed a person until you actually see them again. He had an urge to hold Sungjong tight, and not let go. Yet, this wasn’t just his Sungjong, it was the Blood Lily, a wanted man, an evil man.

Sungjong smiled crookedly.

“I guess it was worth it then, all the risk, to hear those words.”

Sunggyu did a double take - he hadn't expected that reaction form the younger. It made it harder to bring his agenda up. Would it be really horrible if he used this meeting just for selfish reasons, for looking, for watching Sungjong as long as he could?

“So you’re going to be a detective again.”

“How do you- you’re still spying on me?”

Sungjong scooted closer, watching his face carefully.

“Just curious about you. You and Woohyun – you’ve quite the apartment.”

It was wrong, but Sunggyu was flattered. Flattered, not worried, as he should be.

“We took out a loan from the bank.”

“So it’s serious then,” Sungjong nodded thoughtfully. “I’m glad.”

“Well, Myungsoo just said he needed space and I took the hint to move out-” Sunggyu paused, feeling a guilt brash in the back of his throat. Myungsoo – he was hurting, even now, at this moment, he was mourning Sungjong’s death. “I need to tell you-I have a request,” he blurted out before he could grow any weaker.

Sighing, Sungjong looked away, bringing his hands together to rest under his chin.

“You want to tell Myungsoo about me?”

He was too glad that he didn’t have to speak the words out that he didn’t even care how the younger knew. When it came to him though, the younger had always known.

“He’s – he’s hurting.”

“He’s going to kill me.” Even though he said it, Sungjong didn’t sound scared at all, as if him getting killed was just a temporary setback.

“I don’t think he will. He hasn’t spoken to Woohyun for a year because he thinks he killed you.”

“Well, he did,” Sungjong chuckled again, getting to his feet. “You know my answer already, don’t you?”

His heart sank. He had expected this and yet, Myungsoo’s face, twisted with pain flashed across his eyes.

“You’re no good,” Sungjong said matter-of-factly, glancing at him. “You make me almost weak.” And with that, he left, crossing the field and disappearing out of sight while Sunggyu sat motionlessly.