The pillow Yoongi pressed against his ear only just muted the loud voices of his parents floating up from downstairs. He couldn't tell what they were arguing about this time, but from the previous arguments he knew it could have been either one of two things: his dad's business and how it's causing him to neglect his family, or him. 

He couldn't pinpoint exactly when it started - maybe it's been building gradually over last year that they've been in Seoul, maybe he could even trace it back to his childhood - but he remembers coming home from sleeping over Hoseok's house some months ago to a weird vibe in the air. It was tense, even moreso than the usual. His mom was in the kitchen, roughly chopping vegetables whilst his dad was sitting on the couch with his legs crossed, reading a magazine. It seemed harmless enough, but Yoongi could see too easily the crease in his dad's brow that formed whenever he was angry at something (angry at him) and the rigid set of his mom's shoulders. When he opened his mouth to say hello, he only got mumbled acknowledgements in return, and after growing increasingly uncomfortable in the living room, went straight to his room.

That was March. It was now June, and whatever started that day has been building and building into the ugly monster that it is now, one that's had them fighting almost every night for the last two and a half weeks. 

Their voices grew louder, making it easier for Yoongi to pick up on small bits and pieces if he strained a little. 

"...shouldn't be so hard on him..."

"...my son...treat him how I..."

"...just a boy..."

"...is 18..."

So they were arguing about him this time. Nice.

He curled in on himself under the blankets as a small pang of guilt wiggled it's way into Yoongi's chest and made a home there. He tries to block out the noise by pressing the pillow harder into his head, but he's tragically unsuccessful. Their voices only seem to grow in volume, and the guilt in Yoongi's chest grew into a gaping hole along with it, threatening to swallow him.

He didn't get a lot of sleep that night.

-

They try to hide it, but they're avoiding each other the next day. They're acting like everything's fine like they usually did but Yoongi watched the way one would leave the room when the other entered, and how they didn't talk to each other directly. Sometimes they even used Yoongi as a middle man, asking him to 'ask your father this' or 'tell your mother that.'

He ends up only eating an apple for breakfast. His tummy is rumbling shortly after, but he feels too antsy to try to stomach anything else. It's awkward in the time it takes for Yoongi to finish his apple and the time it takes his dad to leave for work. It's like they're all tiptoeing around a room full of broken glass, carefully placing each step, lest they get cut. When his father does leave, he gives his mom and him stiff hugs and awkward kisses and a barely there goodbye.

At lunch time he tries to eat more, microwaving some left overs from dinner last night but he doesn't eat much of that either, even though it's after his dad has left for work and his anxiousness should have subsided. His mom is on edge too, obsessively cleaning every surface of the house to keep her hands busy. Yoongi's watching her from where he's perched against a wall, feeling like his heart is being wrapped in vines with thorns on them, also feeling the effects of his father's presence long after he's gone. They shouldn't be living like this, it wasn't right.

But what could he do?

He's frustratingly running his hands through his hair when his pocket vibrates, and he's close to ripping it out of his pocket and throwing it across the room because he's really not in the mood, but immediately changes his mind when he sees the name.

 

Jiminie calling...

 

Yoongi jumps off the wall he was leaning on and snatches his headphones off the coffee table puts them in the jack in record time, and clicks answer. When Jimin pops up on his phone screen, he almost passes out.

How much he's grown over the last year and a half is something Yoongi's constantly taken aback by. It wasn't like it was a sudden change. It was gradual, but one day it somehow still manages to hit him all at once that Jimin's cheeks weren't as chubby as they used to be (though still held some baby fat that Yoongi doesn't think will ever go away) and his jaw is sharper, more defined, and he looked less like the boy he remembered and more like the man he was becoming.

He was cute before, but now, now he's downright beautiful. Yoongi didn't know it was possible for him to fall even more in love with Jimin, yet here he is, grinning dumbly like some goddamned hyena.

His hair is a lighter shade of brown, matted together, sticking to his forehead and dripping onto his black tank top that showed off the muscles in his arms and his shoulders, and Yoongi's mind briefly wonders how good it would feel to have those arms wrapped around him, holding him against his chest.

Only one more school year...

"Hey, hyung," Jimin says.

"Why is your hair wet?" Yoongi answers with a question.

"I just came from outside. It's raining a little here," Jimin answers, shaking some access water droplets out of his hair. "I have a competition in Busan that lasts the whole weekend, so we're packing up the car right now."

"Oh?" Yoongi raises an eyebrow and settles onto the couch. "Sounds prestigious."

Jimin smiles shyly, and rubs the back of his neck showing off his biceps. Yoongi tries not to drool. "It is. It's regionals, and how we do at regionals helps determines who goes when at nationals, if they make it to nationals at all. I'm kind of nervous," he admits.

"Don't be," Yoongi assures him. "I've seen you dance. You're amazing. Phenomenal, even. You have nothing to worry about."

"Hyung," Jimin whines a little, and covers the camera of his phone with his hand to hide what's probably blush. "You're embarrassing me."

Yoongi snorts. "I'm being serious though, you're - take your hand off the camera, Jimin."

Jimin slowly peels his hand back from the camera, but he's avoiding looking into it.

"Jiminie, look at me."

He keeps his eyes to the floor, but eventually, petulantly, raises his head to looks Yoongi in the eyes.

"You're fantastic, Jimin. And I have no doubt in my mind that you're going to blow all of those judges away."

Jimin smiles shyly again. "Thanks, Yoongi hyung," he says quietly. He bites his lips, and runs his hands through his hair. "I never told you this, though you could probably guess, but I value your opinion a lot. What you think of me, and how you see me, it means more to me than anything...so thank you. Thank you so much for being in my life."

Yoongi melts into a puddle of sap.

He stares at the Jimin on his phone screen, mouth agape and eyes wide while Jimin is looking so pleased with himself like he knows he just shot Yoongi's heart to Jupiter. He wishes he could jump through the phone screen and hold his face in his hands and shower him with kisses. He wishes he could tell Jimin what he really thinks of him, that he thinks he's the most wonderful, gorgeous, beautiful person inside and out and no one in the entire ing universe would ever be able to even come close to the caring, kindhearted soul that was Park Jimin. 

But he bites his tongue, because Jimin has a competition on the other side of the country and the last thing he wants to do his freak him out right before it by dropping all of his feelings on him when they're so far apart, so he simply says, "You're welcome."

Jimin chuckles a little just as Yoongi hears a distant call of Jimin's name through his headphones.

"That was my mom," Jimin explains. "I think it's time to go. I'll text you when we get to the hotel tonight, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Bye," Jimin says softly, and waves goodbye before ending the call. Yoongi takes a second to calm his heart down, and looks around the living room, jumping a little when he sees his mom - he completely forgot she was in the room - looking at him with a soft, knowing smile on her face.

"Don't say it," he mutters.

"Wasn't gonna," she says smugly. "Can you give me a hand, though?"

Yoongi sighs, and hops off the couch, and she bumps him with her hip as she hands him the spare sponge.

 

The clock reads 11:47pm.

Yoongi wasn't freaking out. He wasn't. Jimin said he'd text him tonight, and he would. 'Tonight' could mean anytime. Anytime.

His eyelids were starting to droop, and though he was trying his damnedest to fight it, sleep was slowly creeping up on him, waiting for the moment he let his guard down so it could snatch him under. 

11:50pm. He yawns, closes his eyes for a second and exhaustion slams into his bones. He no longer possessed the strength to open his eyes again, and decides to stop fighting himself and just go under. He drifts off, hoping that maybe Jimin just fell asleep. Or forgot.

-

Yoongi doesn't wake up to any texts. He tries not to be disappointed, but he can't help the way his entire body slumps back into his bed when he opens his phone to an empty inbox.

He goes downstairs to make himself breakfast. His dad has already left for work, so it's just his mom sitting at the kitchen table with her laptop open, sipping coffee when he enters. Her skin looks almost see through, and there are bags and dark circles under her eyes but she still smiles up at him when he walks in. 

"Good morning, Yoongiyah," she says.

He smiles back as much as he can. "Morning, mom."

The fridge is almost empty, but there's still some leftovers from dinner a few nights ago that he heats up in the microwave. When that's done, he grabs his food and accompanies his mom at the table, who shifts the laptop away from him a little. Weird. 

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with," she replies. Even weirder. 

When he's done eating his breakfast, he retreats back to his room, and checks his phone. His stomach drops. Still no messages from Jimin. 

Maybe he's just busy, he reasons with himself. He has a competition today, he's probably just preparing. 

That's the excuse he settles on. He still spends all day checking his phone, which is dumb because he only makes himself sadder each time his messages show up empty, but his spirits lift when he remembers that Jimin's probably going to send him videos from the competition tonight.

Everything's fine. He has nothing to worry about. Jimin is at his competition, probably knocking everyone's socks off, and he's fine.

Everything's fine.

-

The videos never come.

-

It's been a week, properly. A week, and Yoongi's heard nothing from Jimin. Not a call, not a text, not a nothing, and Yoongi's starting to panic. Mildly, but panic all the same. 

His mom notices, and she makes sure to give him extra hugs, and put a little extra meat on his plate, but she doesn't ask if everything's okay. He's grateful for that, because he honestly wouldn't know how to answer. He doesn't know if he's okay. He doesn't know if Jimin's okay. He doesn't know.

About a week and a half into static on Jimin's end, Yoongi tries texting him.

Three days later, Jimin still hasn't replied. The absence of the little check mark next to his message lets Yoongi know he hasn't even opened it, and he's trying his hardest to not freak out. He's calm. He's fine. Everything's fine.

The next day he tries calling him. It goes straight to voicemail.

Yoongi's starting to panic for real now, It's officially been two weeks, and there's still nothing but dead silence from Jimin. He's tried calling him, texting him, Skyping and facetiming him, and they've all gone unanswered. He doesn't want to lose control, that's possibly the worst thing he could do right now, but an overwhelming feeling of pure dread has settled in Yoongi's bones and it makes it feel like he's constantly on the verge of puking his guts out.

He's laying on his bed, trying to calm himself down after psyching himself out before he tries Taehyung. 

 

Me [1:19pm]

hey tae, is everything okay with jimin?

 

There's a little check mark next to the text to show that Taehyung read it, but he doesn't reply until a day later. A whole day for Yoongi to think of all of the worst possible scenarios.

 

Taetae [4:34pm]

yeah, he's fine

 

Yoongi reads the text about ten times before it finally sinks in. There's his confirmation. Jimin's fine, Taehyung said so, and it should be enough for him. But it's not. An ugly feeling has settled in the pit of Yoongi's gut. Red flags are shooting up and there are sirens going off in his head and they're all telling him that something is terribly wrong, and that this is a lie. It's a lie, it's a lie, it's a lie.

He doesn't respond to Taehyung's message, and texts Jungkook instead. 

 

Me [4:40pm]

hey jungkookie, is jimin okay?

 

The three little dots that let Yoongi know he's typing appear and disappear for about five minutes before Jungkook finally responds.

 

Kookie [4:45pm]

yeah

 

Two comfirmations, both saying Jimin is okay. But if Jimin is okay, why won't he answer his calls? Why won't he answer his texts? Why does he feel like he needs to catch the next train back to Daegu just to see for himself?

Everything about this feels wrong. It feels off, and he feels helpless.

-

It's been three weeks now, and Yoongi might snap any second. Despite both Jungkook and Taehyung telling him that Jimin was fine, he still hasn't made an effort to reach out to him. He knows Jungkook and Taehyung have been talking to him, and because of that he knows Jimin knows he's worried sick, so why wouldn't he say something to ease his worried mind? It just doesn't make any sense. 

He's texting Namjoon afternoon the next day. Seokjin is leaving for college soon, and Namjoon's getting overly sentimental and melancholic in a way that only he can. Personally, Yoongi wants to tell him to off, but Namjoon is his friend and he'd promised him once that he was always there if he needed to talk to anybody (a promise that he was currently regretting) when he feels his phone vibrate two times in a row and he grumbles as he roughly grabs at his phone to a text from Namjoon and -

Yoongi's heart stops. He stares at his phone, just to make sure he's not hallucinating.

"Hey," Jimin's message reads.

Yoongi unlocks his phone and types out his reply as fast as his thumbs will let him. 

 

Me [2:23pm]

hey! where have you been? hold on i'll facetime you

 

Jimin's response was immediate.

 

Jiminie [2:23pm]

no wait

 

Yoongi's finger is hovering over the call button as he stares at Jimin's reply. His phone vibrates, and another one comes in.

 

Jiminie [2:24pm]

i'm in a bad area, can we just text

 

Yoongi's, if possible, even more confused. Something's definitely wrong, Yoongi's sure of it now, but he respects Jimin's wishes, and types out an 'okay.'

-

The bowl of soup in front of him is less than appetizing. He plops his spoon in it, accidentally splashing some of it up onto his face, and scowls.

Jimin's texting him again, albeit barely, but he still refuses to facetime or Skype. He won't even call him, feeds him some excuse about how his parents wouldn't like the noise and Yoongi knows it's bull because he knows Jimin's parents too well and knows they absolutely would not mind the noise. But he doesn't say anything about it. He's glad that Jimin's able to to talk to him, at least, and he's not about to jeopardize that.

Still, he wishes he could hear his voice, see his face. He misses it.

He also still doesn't want to eat this soup, but he hasn't eaten much in the last few weeks from stress, and it's beginning to show in how sickly his skin looks so he forces himself. As he shoves the last bite in his mouth, there's a knock on the door. He puts his bowl in the sink and goes to open it only to find it already open and  Jung Hoseok standing in the middle of the living room with a cheesy grin on his face.

"Pack some clothes, your coming with me," he says.

Yoongi blinks. "What?"

"You heard me. Pack some clothes, your staying at my house tonight. And hurry, up, Namjoon and Seokjin are already there and the last time I left them alone at my house Seokjin gave Namjoon a on my bed."

"Okay, ew."

"Yeah, I had to wash my sheets three times, now go." He shoved Yoong up the stairs. He scowls at him halfheartedly, but obliges. 

He's back downstairs and in Hoseok's car no later than T minus twelve minutes, and they're on the road for 2, a couple trees and few houses later, and Yoongi asks, "Be honest, what brought this on?"

"I don't know what you're-"

"Hoseok."

Hoseok sighs, knowing he's been caught. "I've noticed you've been down in the dumps lately, and even though you haven't told me why, it's my job as you resident best friend to cheer you up. Plus Seokjin is leaving soon, so I thought why not get together for one last good hoorah, with all of us, you know?"

Yoongi snorts. "You're the only person I know who would say the word 'hoorah.'"

"At least I'm one of a kind."

Hoseok's house is a lot like Jimin's. It's homey, with the fire place going even though it's summer, and lots of pictures hanging on the walls. Yoongi shoves down the envy.

"Namjoon? Seokjin? You decent this time?" Hoseok yells up the stairs.

"Yeah," come muffled responses. Hoseok dramatically puts a hand on his chest.

"Thank God."

They don't do much, just the usual. Order pizza, tease each other, play a million rounds of Mario Kart that Seokjin wins 999,988 rounds of because he's weirdly competitive when it comes to Mario Kart, but Yoongi will admit, he feels better. He's not thinking about Jimin, or his parents, or anything accept what's in front of him; three friends that would do anything for him.

They fall asleep like this: Yoongi's snuggled up next Hoseok in his bed, and Namjoon and Seokjin snuggled up next each other on the floor. Yoongi's staring at the ceiling, counting the tiles, and Hoseok's voice cuts through his mind and makes him jump.

"Sorry," Hoseok whispers. "I just wanted to tell you this when I knew Seokjin and Namjoon were asleep."

Yoongi turns on his side to face him. "Tell me what?"

"That you can talk to me about whatever's going on when your ready."

A small grin spreads on Yoongi's face and in his chest. "Thanks, Seokie, I appreciate it." Hoseok snuggles a little closer, and Yoongi feels all of his warmth and his body heat. The sleep he has is one of the best he's had in a while.

 

He didn't take Hoseok's offer for a ride home, deciding to just walk the mile in between. He's feeling the most refreshed he's ever been in months, and wants to take advantage of it, which is why he's currently walking down the street of his house with a little more spring in his step.

When he's about five meters away, he starts to hear voices. Which is odd, because in order for him to hear voices, those voices have to be talking very, very loudly. He proceeds a little slower than before, cautious and not wanting to disturbed anything but the sudden sound of glass shattering jolts him and has him almost sprinting toward his house, taking residence behind a tree, where he could just make out his parents standing in the kitchen.

Both of their faces are bright red, and their shoulders are hard set, standing off against each other like two bulls with what Yoongi recognizes as his mom's favorite vase in pieces at her feet. 

"Is it really too much," his mom starts, "to ask you to pay attention to something outside of work? It is really?!"

"Everything I do I do for you two! All of the hours I work I work to make sure you two live comfortably!"

"Oh really, because it sure feels a lot like you work all those hours to get away from us!"

He wasn't supposed to be seeing this. He was out of the house. He wasn't supposed to be seeing this.

"Why can't you just believe me when I say I care about you?!"

"BECAUSE YOU DON'T!" his mom shrieks. "You don't care about me! You don't care about Yoongiyah! You don't care about anything that isn't related to your stupid company!"

The crack that resonates through the air next shakes Yoongi to his core. His breath hitches, and he freezes as he looks on at the scene, horrified. He blinks a few times as if trying to rid himself of the image in front of him, and shakes his head slowly. No. This can't be. His brain doesn't want to believe what he's seeing his real. 

But then his mom slowly lowers her hand from her cheek, and starts baking away from his father, looking at him like he's a stranger and Yoongi's absolutely sick with the knowledge of knowing that he didn't imagine it.

He hit her. 

He slinks even farther behind the tree, trying to keep himself hidden and also trying to keep himself upright. What happens next happens to fast for him to properly process. His mom goes for her coat, and throws it on her body.

"Hyoya, Hyoya wait, I didn't-" says a voice that sounds like his father, and a man that looks like his father, but Yoongi doesn't recognize him either. His mom ignores him completely, and storms out the door, and from his spot behind the tree he has a slightly obscured view of her getting into her car, and driving off down the road exactly six seconds later.

Yoongi's in complete shock. Literally frozen in place, has no idea what to think, what to feel, what to do next. All of his bones have been replaced with ice, making him stiff cold. 

"Yoongi?" 

He jumps, and whips his head around to the man that looks like his father. His eyes are wide, and his mouth is open.

He knows. He knows he saw.

He starts walking toward the window, and Yoongi, not knowing how else to respond, relies purely on instinct, and books it.

He's down the road in record speed, relying solely on what feels right and lets his feet take him where they want to go, wherever they end up. The ice in his bones is now fire, burning him up from the inside out, igniting his lungs, his legs and his head, and isn't extinguished until he's on a familiar doorstep and banging on the door.

Hoseok's laughing as he opens it. 

"I saw you flailing from down the street, did you forget something?" he jokes, but then he actually looks at Yoongi. "Woah, hyung, are you okay?" 

No. He's far from okay.

He opens his mouth to say so, but all that comes out is an ugly sob. And another, and another, and soon he's collapsed on Hoseok's front doorstep, in Hoseok's arms, snotting on himself and bawling his eyes out.

-

Yoongi blew his nose into another tissue and threw it into the trash as he sinks himself into Hoseok's bed. He's stopped crying, finally, but now his face is red and puffy and feels like it's full of pressurized air. 

Hoseok's bed is comfy. The cotton sheets are soft against his skin, and they smell of the outdoors, like burning wood and smoke and something else that was uniquely Hoseok. He's momentarily immobilized, shocked at how exhausted he is now. He feels like he just spent hours in the gym, or killed his whole day lifting bricks and now all of his limbs are made of lead. He vows to himself to never cry this much again because this is just embarrassing. 

A click from the door has Yoongi turning his head to see Hoseok coming inside back, motioning to the tub and the spoon in his hands. "I brought ice cream."

Yoongi smiles weakly, and uses all of his strength to pull himself back into a sitting position and grab the tub of ice cream, pleased to see that it's PB & Cookies. His favorite.

Hoseok sits at his desk chair, giving him space as Yoongi gobbles down the frozen treat. Apparently all that crying also gave him his appetite back, and it's completely gone in ten minutes flat. He hands the tub back to Hoseok, who throws the it away and Yoongi lays back down on the bed, snuggling his face into the pillows.

"How ya feeling now?" Hoseok asks.

Yoongi hesitates. Not because he doesn't want to talk about it, but because he honestly doesn't know how to answer.

"Confused," he settles on.

"How so?" Hoseok asks gently.

"I mean, my dad has always been stern with the both of us. It was either his way or no way, you know," he tries to explain, but his voice is wobbly. Hoseok carefully rises to his feet and sits on the edge of the bed. He gently caresses Yoongi's hand and it lightly with his thumb before Yoongi continues.

"And I always knew he was a bit aggressive, but I never thought -" He chokes up a little, and feels fresh hot tears prick at his eyes and has to stop to recollect himself. Hoseok his hand even steadier. "I never thought he'd get violent." Yoongi whispers the last part. Hoseok takes his hand completely in his.

"Don't blame yourself."

"I never said it was my fault."

"But I know you, hyung," Hoseok said. "And I know you're probably thinking that you should've seen it coming, and stopped it before it started and I'm telling you now, don't. There's no way you could've known. There's no way to know what anyone's capable of."

Yoongi doesn't respond for a while. He's right, and he knows he's right, but that still doesn't make it hurt less. They stay like that for a while, Hoseok cradling his hand and Yoongi sitting there, letting it relax his mind a little before speaking up again.

"I wish I could talk to Jimin about it," he says.

"Why can't you?"

Yoongi shrugs. "Honestly, I don't know."

Hoseok tilts his head. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Yoongi sits up so his back is against the headboard. "I feel like something's wrong. About a few weeks back, he stopped talking to me out of no where. No calls, no texts, no facetime or Skype. It was like he just disappeared, fell off the face of the planet for like three weeks or so. And when he finally did text me back, he refused to facetime or Skype me, and his texts are vague as hell, if he even texts me back at all. And when I ask him if everything's okay, he says he's fine but I know, I know, he's not." 

He feels Hoseok squeeze his hand, and gently tugs him back down so he's laying next to him, and shuffles closer so there's almost no space between them. Yoongi can feel the heat radiating off of him, and revels in it.

"It's okay," Hoseok says softly.

Yoongi has a hard time speaking with the thickness in his throat, but he still manages to mutter out, "But what if it's not?"

"Don't think about that right now. Right now you're under too much stress, so think about the good times, okay? Tell me about the good times."

Yoongi in a breath. He's cried too much, today.

"I remember one time, when we were little, and we were playing on the swing at recess," Yoongi starts, "and he wanted to swing as high I did, but he couldn't because his legs were too short." Yoongi smiles to himself as he relives the memory. "And he started crying, and of course I had no idea what to do because I had never had a friend before...so I just hugged him, and he clung to me. He didn't want to let go, and I didn't want to either, and the next thing I knew the recess aids were blowing their whistles and it was time to go back inside."

Yoongi's almost completely immersed in his memories and almost forgets Hoseok is right next to him and jumps a little when he asks, "You hugged until the end of recess?"

"Yeah, we did," he answers solemnly, and dives right back into the story. "The next recess we have together, he comes up to me and he's jumping up and down like an excited little puppy, asking me to push him. And when I did, the sound of his giggles and his laughs, they sounded just like the twinkling of wind chimes, so full of air, and life, and I remember wanting to protect him so I could make sure he was always that happy. I think...I think I was falling in love with him, even then."

"Wow, you're as grossly head over heels as Namjoon and Seokjin are with each other."

Yoongi misses Hoseok's arm with his fist by a centimeter. "Shut up."

Hoseok snorts. "Okay, okay, but in all seriousness, Jimin seems like a really great guy."

"He's the greatest on the planet," Yoongi replies. He's not even exaggerating. "He's always smiling, always making me laugh, never makes me feel insecure. I don't know, I just feel so...whole when I'm with him. And his dancing, he's really something else, Seokie." He turns his head to the side so he's looking at him directly. "You remind me of him a lot, actually."

Hoseok narrows his eyes at him. "You're not falling in love with me too, are you?"

"Never in a million years."

Hoseok guffaws at that. It's a loud, joyous sound and lifts Yoongi out of his sadness, even if it's only slight. He still feels like , and his head still feels like a hot air balloon from all of his crying, but he's able to smile back at him at least. Hoseok wiggles over to him, and presses himself into Yoongi's side and throws an arm over his chest.

"What are you doing?" Yoongi asks.

"You need cuddles," was Hoseok's response, and then he closed his eyes, and pressed into him even more. He's not one for too much skin ship, but he lets him, partly because it was Hoseok and partly because he actually really did need cuddles. He turns on his side and buries his face into Hoseok's chest as he pulls him closer, inhaling his russet, outdoorsy scent and lets it lull to sleep.

-

Yoongi wishes he could say he was surprised to find his mom still wasn't home when came back the next day. But he's not. He was actually partially expecting this. 

He was, however, surprised that his dad only grunted in response when he appeared on the front doorstep that morning, and walked back into the living room. He forgot to tell him he would be staying another night at Hoseok's, and in the past doing something like that would've earned Yoongi a two hour lecture about respect and his phone taken away. A small part of him - that he buried deep in the back of his mind because he didn't want to think about it - was expecting to be hit as well, but to his shock, neither of those came. In fact, the only time his dad acknowledged his existence at all had been to call him downstairs for dinner, which was so awkward and thick with tension he could taste it on his tongue, turning the food sour.

Later that night when he's texting Hoseok about it, his dad comes knocking on his door. He doesn't bother to wait for Yoongi to say 'come in,' but he stays in the doorway, playing with the hem of his button down, like he's unsure. Yoongi stiffens, not sure what to expect.

His dad awkwardly clears his throat, and says "Your mother is going to gone for a few weeks," and doesn't say anything else. He shuts the door behind him, and Yoongi is left sitting on his bed wondering what the just happened. 

That's the only time they come close to talking about it.

They spend the next couple of weeks tiptoeing around each other, only acknowledging the other when it was absolutely necessary. It was strange, but even though he wasn't used to it, Yoongi couldn't help but feel like it was the most at ease in his house he's ever been. He doesn't have to constantly worry about if he's doing or saying the right thing and risk his dad blowing up at him, because he wasn't paying attention to him at all. He spent most of his time in his office. Yoongi spent most of the time in his room. The only time they saw each other was at dinner. And for the upcoming weeks, that was the status quo.

Yoongi's in his room almost three weeks later, writing in one of his notebooks there's another knock on his door. He thinks it's his dad, so he doesn't bother saying "come in" or anything like that because he'd just come in anyway, but then he hears another knock, followed by a "Yoongiyah? Are you in there?" in a soft, feminine voice.

His heart jumps.

"Mom?" he asks through the wall, and his door opens to reveal her on the other side. She smiles when she sees him, the same gummy smile that he inherited from her, and closes the door behind her.

"Hey sweety," she says, and envelops him in a hug that's almost airtight. "How have you been? You've been okay here, with your father?" she asks, with a little apprehension. Yoongi hears the unspoken question.

Did he do anything to you?

"I'm fine, mom," he answers. She breathes out a sigh of relief, and runs a hair through her hair.

"That's good. Um, speaking of your father, I need to talk to you about something important, okay?" 

Yoongi nods his head to show he's listening. She takes his hand and leads then to his bed, sitting them down on the edge of it and takes both of his hands in hers. The lighting is slightly different there, and he could just make out a spot on her cheek that's a slightly different color than the rest. 

She takes a deep breath. "Yoongiyah, your father and I have been having some problems lately. And not just, everyday 'you forgot to turn the light off in the bathroom' problems. Big problems. Ones that...we don't think we'll ever be able to work through. And for that reason, we decided it would be best if we went our separate ways."

Yoongi nods slowly, letting what she just said sink in. He supposes he should feel sad, but oddly, he doesn't. Mainly, he feels relieved. No more fights keeping him up at night, and no more of his parents hurting themselves by forcing themselves to stay in a relationship that wasn't working. It was a win-win for everyone.

"Okay," he says.

"And you understand that this doesn't mean that either of us love you any less, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Good, because there's more." Yoongi swears he heard a hint of mirth, and she looks like she has a secret she can't wait to tell. "I'm moving out in about a week. I already have a job lined up...and that job is in Daegu. I'm going back to Daegu."

Yoongi jolts. No. This was not what was supposed to happen, not at all. She was supposed to stay in Seoul with him, so he could visit her whenever he wanted, whenever he needed, not move back across the country and leave him here with -

"Yoongiyah, Yoongiyah, shut up and let me finish," his mom shakes him a little, and he realized with a tinge of embarrassment that he had been saying all of that out loud.

"I'm moving back to Daegu," she said slowly, "would you like to come with me?"

It takes about two seconds before everything clicks. His eyes go wide and his mouth hangs as he stares at her and then he's in her arms. She's laughing at him, but squeezing him back as he mumbles, "Thank you, thank you, thank you so much." 

Happy isn't a good enough descriptor for his feelings right now. He's ecstatic. He's jubilant. He's over the damn moon. In a week he'll be back in Daegu. He'll be back in his home, with his other family and his friends. 

With Jimin.

Jimin, who's been keeping him at arms length.

Yoongi, who can finally figure out why.

He pulls back for a second. She's sporting a mischievous smile, and he can't help himself. He leans forward, and gently presses a kiss into her cheek. Her entire body softens, and she responds with a soft kiss of her own to his forehead. 

"You should start packing," she says, and walks back out of his room.

Yoongi jumps up from his bed and immediately grabs his notebook before plopping back down on his bed and clutches it to his chest, smiling to the ceiling, before opening it back to the poem he was working on. It's depressing, and he's no longer in the mood to write it, and flips to a new page to start another one.

It's about finding a lost love.

-

"Hey Hoseok, can you hand me that box?"

"Yeah, sure."

Yoongi takes the box from Hoseok's hands. Bites his lip. "Hey, you're sure you're okay with me leaving?" he asks.

Hoseok looks at him like he's dumb. "Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be? It's not like we're not gonna talk still."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Now stop worrying about me, and go get your boyfriend," he says with a playful shove. Yoongi likes the sound of it so much he doesn't point out that Jimin's not really his boyfriend.

Seokjin and Namjoon come downstairs with the last of Yoongi's belongings, that Yoongi carelessly dumps into the back of the truck, and turns to them with his hands shoved in his pockets. 

"I'm gonna miss you guys," he says honestly.

"We're gonna miss you too," Namjoon replies. And then Hoseok says, "This calls for a group hug!" and they all groan but follow his orders anyway.

"Have fun,"Namjoon says when he's situated in the car, ready to drive off.

"Not too much fun," Seokjin pipes in.

"Yeah, use condoms," Hoseok adds.

Yoongi changes his mind. He hates all of them, but the car has already taken off before he could kick their asses properly.

 

He wakes up to the sun shining in his face, and his neck at an awkward angle, but he can smell the difference in the air already. He doesn't smell smog. Instead, the scent of the trees and the grass fills Yoongi's nostrils, and he knows.

He's back in Daegu.

His mom is saying something about how nice the scenery was on the ride here. He slept through most of it, though, so he wouldn't know. He's not even out of the car yet before his mom is shoving a grocery list and her credit card in his hands, telling him to go get food for dinner tonight. His head's still foggy, but he says okay, and starts walking down the road with shakes of his head, trying to wake himself up.

Yoongi takes his time on the way to the grocery store. He missed a lot of things about Daegu, but the smell of the air was the thing he missed the most, and he wanted to make sure to take in as much of it into his lungs as he could, relishing in the familiarity. The buildings reached out to him, taking him in their arms and wrapping him up in a blanket of nostalgia that built in layers with each step he took, and even the pavement he walked on seemed to be saying 'welcome home.' 

He stopped for a second, just to take a moment to appreciate everything once again. Putting a hand over his eyes to shield them from the sun, he smiles up at the sky that was no longer covered up by buildings, and let the sun kiss him. 

There really was nothing like the feeling of coming back home. 

He reaches for the grocery list in his pocket, and lazily looks it over as he begins walking again. It wasn't a complicated grocery list, just the basics: eggs, milk, bread, standard fruits and vegetables, a few meats and basic seasonings, just to get something in the fridge and something on the table for dinner tonight. 

He's close to the end of the block and is about to round the corner, thinking about how he's going to carry all of this home when he hears a distinct twinkle, and stops dead in his tracks.

He knows that twinkle. He's heard that twinkle almost a million times, and even if he hasn't heard it in the last two months, he would recognize it anywhere.  

He turned slowly, and is surprised to find himself directly under a soup and sandwich place he, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook used to frequent all the time. The door was open, probably because from what he remembered the place had terrible air conditioning, and he could see everything inside. He could see how the fluorescent lights bounced off the burnt orange paint. He could see the intricacies of the designs that lined the walls, and he could see the cookies and brownies that were lined along the cash registers.

And residing in the corner, he could see Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook. He almost fell back. He knew he'd see them eventually, but he wasn't expecting to see them immediately. This, he was not prepared for.

Jimin was in the middle, picking apart the last bits of his sandwich as he listened intently to whatever Taehyung - who was sat on his right - was saying. His chair was black, odd since the rest of the chairs in the restaurant were brown, and Yoongi briefly wondered where he got it from before realizing it wasn't important. 

Jimin laughed again, and the twinkling sound tickled at Yoongi's ears and spread throughout his body down to his feet, rooting him to his spot. He couldn't walk away even if he wanted to. All he could do was stare at Jimin, who still had the same slightly chubby cheeks, full lips and bright eyes that still managed to make the butterflies in Yoongi's stomach go haywire even after all this time. Jungkook and Taehyung looked equally as bright, all three conversing and telling jokes like they haven't been avoiding Yoongi for the last two months. That hurt a little.

But even still, despite the fact that they looked happy, that uneasy feeling in Yoongi's gut that's been telling him something wasn't right was going wild. There was definitely something strange with this picture, like there was a brushstroke that went in a different direction than the rest, or there was a proportion that wasn't quite right. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something was wrong. Something was off.

He didn't have the opportunity to figure out what it was though, because in that moment Jimin looked in his direction, and locked eyes with his.

There were no fireworks. There was no Jimin getting up to run and jump into his arms like all the times Yoongi had imagined this moment. Instead, Jimin looked absolutely terrified. It sunk Yoongi's heart into his knees.

Taehyung followed Jimin's line of sight, and then he and Jungkook were staring at him too, accept where Jimin looked fearful, they looked more shocked to see him. Shocked and something else. Something like... cautious?

Ignoring the hammering of his heart in his chest, Yoongi tried to smile, and waved weakly before taking a step, followed by another and another. He was about ten feet from their table when Taehyung suddenly jumped up, and put himself between Yoongi and the others. 

"Hello to you, too?" Yoongi said

Taehyung straightened up. He stood a little taller than Yoongi now, he noted, and puffed out his chest a bit.

"What are you doing here?" Taehyung asks, and Yoongi's slightly taken aback by how harsh he sounds. "You weren't supposed to come back until the end of the school year."

Yoongi throws a glance at Jimin and Jungkook. Jimin was gripping the table, and Jungkook had a protective arm around his shoulders. "My mom and dad got divorced," he says simply. He could see a brief flash of sympathy in Taehyung's eyes before they steeled back over. "She came back here, and I came with her. You would know that if you hadn't been avoiding me," he bit back with harshness of his own, and he's not sure if he's pleased or not to see Taehyung lose some of his bravado.  He tries to side step around him but he's blocked again.

"I'm sorry, hyung, but as you know, I take my role as Vice President of the Protect Jimin Squad very seriously."

"Meaning?" Yoongi asked, trying and failing to keep the slight annoyance out of his voice, and spared another quick glance at Jimin who was now gripping the table so hard his knuckles were turning white.

"Meaning I can't let you any closer if you're going to hurt him."

Yoongi looked at Taehyung like he was mad. He scanned his face for a quivering lip or eyebrow, anything to indicate that this was all some big joke, but there was none. "Why would I ever hurt him?! I l-" he stopped himself before he said something stupid, "he's my best friend. I would never, ever do that!" he exclaimed, unable to sound like he wasn't just insulted in the worst way.

Taehyung took one second to stare at him peculiarly, looking for any hints to see if he was lying. Yoongi held his gaze, urging Taehyung to believe him because honestly, why wouldn't he? A few seconds later he must have decided he was telling the truth, and turned back to Jimin with a meek smile on his face.

"See Jimin? I told you you were worried for nothing," he said to him.

Jimin still looked terrified, but the tension began to slowly leave his body, and his shoulders relaxed and his face wasn't as tight anymore. When he spoke for the first time, it was so much of a squeak it reminded Yoongi of a mouse. "So...you really don't mind me...being like this?"

Yoongi had no idea what he was talking about. Jimin looked exactly the same to him. So that's what he told him. "You're still the same, Jimin."

Apparently it was the right thing to say. Jimin seemed to relax into his chair completely as a smile that puffed up his cheeks and slit his eyes slowly formed on his face, and Yoongi swears it's the biggest he's ever seen Jimin smile, and felt a small sense of pride because he did that, whatever that was. He eases up on the smile and now Yoongi can see that his eyes are shining, and a single tear slips down his cheek but Yoongi's not worried. It's a happy tear.

"Well," Jungkook spoke up for the first time, "this was sweet and all, but there's a lot of tension in here now, and I kinda wanna go outside."

Yoongi instantly remembered he was supposed to be grocery shopping. 

"Oh yeah, , I'm supposed to be buying things for dinner tonight."

"Why don't we come with you?" Jimin suggests immediately.

Yoongi looks at him incredulously. "You really wanna come grocery shopping with me?"

"I know I haven't seen you in almost two years, and I don't want to spend another second apart," he answered, and then bit his lip and out his head down in embarrassment, if the rising blush in his cheeks was anything to go by. "I really missed you, hyung."

From how hot Yoongi's face is he's probably sporting the same blush, and smiles back. "I really missed you too, Jiminie."

Jungkook grabbed the trash off the table and headed over to the bins while Taehyung rose to his feet. Yoongi still felt that something in his gut threatening to tear him apart but stomped the feeling down. He can see Jimin now, and he can see that he's fine, and maybe it was in his head all along. Maybe he was just blowing things out of proportion.

But then he goes to turn on his heels, and Jimin says something that stops him.

"Tae, can you push me?"

Yoongi crinkles his eyebrows as Taehyung grabs at handles he hadn't even noticed before to pull Jimin's chair out from under the table, and Yoongi's eyes almost immediately fall to Jimin's left leg.

It looked...weird. The imprint of it in his pants made it appear deformed, like the bottom half of it was smooshed flat or something. But then Yoongi took a closer look, and realized with a sickening drop of his stomach that there was nothing wrong with Jimin's leg at all.

It simply wasn't there.

And Yoongi's whole world shifts completely. Everything in front of him is turned upside down, and his body feels like it's made of jello. It was like he was into a whirlpool, or he was swimming in the ocean with his back turned just as a wave cracks against the shore and pulls him under, stretching him apart and throwing him all over the place as he tries his hardest to find the surface while salt water fills his lungs and his mouth.

The waters begin to settle, allowing him to breach the surface and he blinks, his vision finally refocusing again and when he comes to completely, what he's seeing in front of him is crystal clear. 

Jimin's chair was different from the others in the restaurant. 

Because it was a wheelchair.