“We're gonna get food, can you go grab Hanbin?”

Bobby nods before leaving Jinhwan's hotel room, where he's been for the past fifteen minutes catching up. He's happy to be back with the boys after being away for a week in Hawaii, but he really wishes they hadn't decided to go out for dinner. Bobby's exhausted, tired to the bone after performing for two hours. He's still operating on Hawaii time, his body not adjusting to the time zone change yet. Honestly all he wants to do is crawl into bed and sleep, but he's not about to say no to the invitation after being away for so long.

He enters the room he's sharing with Hanbin and immediately his eyes are drawn to Hanbin's bed, where a lump is huddled under the covers, and Bobby can't help but smile softly at the sight. Apparently he's not the only one feeling tired tonight.

“Hanbin-ah, get up,” Bobby calls as he makes his way over to the bed, reaching out to wrap his fingers in the comforter Hanbin's got pulled over his head, “Jinan-ie booked reservations for us at a restaurant so we're going out for dinner.”

Hanbin groans from under the covers. “Really?” He whines before finally poking his head out and looking up at Bobby, expression so grumpy it makes Bobby grin. “I think I'm gonna skip out, I'm exhausted.”

This is unusual. Bobby's not sure how to respond, because it's rare that any of them ever say no when someone books a group date. “You sure?” Bobby asks, and he can't help but feel disappointed that Hanbin doesn't want to go. Bobby wants to spend time with them all, but he's not sure if he'll have adequate energy without Hanbin. They've got a weird connection that way. When Bobby's exhausted Hanbin is the one who gives him the best energy, and if he doesn't come along Bobby's just going to be thinking about him all night, jealous that he can't stay back and sleep too.

“Yeah, if I go out I'm gonna be terrible company,” Hanbin replies, “or I'm gonna fall asleep at the table. So I'm just gonna stay here and try to sleep. Tell Jinan I'm sorry?”

Bobby looks down at him, their eyes meeting, and there's something in Hanbin's that look kind of sad, his expression expectant, like he wants something. Bobby doesn't miss his words, either—try to sleep—as though he's been having trouble doing that lately. Hanbin never has trouble sleeping, he's consistently been their group's “best sleeper” ever since it was only three of them.

“I'll let him know,” Bobby says, still trying to decipher Hanbin's look.

Hanbin pouts in response, blinking sleepily. “Thanks. Have fun.” He gives Bobby a sad little smile before pulling the comforter over his head again.

Bobby frowns before leaving his room and heading for Jinhwan's again, unable to get Hanbin's face out of his thoughts. Hanbin gets in sad moods every now and then, but this one was unexpected. Before and during the show he'd been bouncy and full of energy and half the reason why Bobby had been able to perform with so much enthusiasm. But now he's huddled in bed like his dog just died, and Bobby can't figure it out.

“Is he coming?” Jinhwan asks as Bobby enters the room. Junhoe's pulling on a sweater but stops to hear Bobby's answer.

“No, he said he's really tired,” Bobby answers, not missing the look that Junhoe gives Jinhwan. Bobby can't help but wonder what they know that he doesn't.

“He hasn't been sleeping well this past week, I'm not surprised.” Jinhwan answers, and Bobby can't help but feel concerned. In the entire five years that he's known Hanbin, he's never known him to have trouble sleeping. He thinks about himself, about how tired he is, and wonders, maybe, maybe he knows why Hanbin looked disappointed when Bobby said he was going out.

“You know, I'm actually pretty exhausted myself, so I think I'm gonna cancel too.” Bobby catches Jinhwan's eye, waits to see if he'll ask him to reconsider.

Jinhwan just smiles at him though and Bobby would almost say that Jinhwan looks relieved with his answer. “Still adjusting back to Asian time?” Jinhwan asks, and Bobby nods.

“Yeah, I felt fine during the show but man, now that the adrenaline's worn off I think I could sleep for a day straight. I mean, it's like, 3 in the morning, Hawaii time?” Bobby smiles apologetically and Jinhwan shakes his head.

“Alright, I'll let you both off the hook! Go and get some rest, and see if you can't get Hanbin to sleep too.” Jinhwan says, and Bobby nods, certain now about his assumptions regarding Hanbin's mood. He heads back for his room, pleased that he gets to sleep, but the more pressing concern on his mind is figuring out what's bothering Hanbin.

He slips into their room quietly, discarding his slippers by the door and ping his jeans. Despite being buried under the blanket Hanbin still hears him and Bobby watches as he emerges from beneath the swath of white cotton.

“Changing?” Hanbin asks, curious eyes on Bobby, who's just left his pants on the floor. Bobby grins as he approaches Hanbin's bed.

“You could say that,” he replies with a grin before pulling his t-shirt off as well. “Move over.” He grabs the comforter and smiles when Hanbin untangles himself and moves to the middle of the bed, making room for Bobby to climb in next to him.

“I thought you were going out?” Hanbin asks, and Bobby hears the surprise in his voice.

“What, and leave you all alone?” Bobby asks, settling in next to Hanbin. “Never! I missed you too much.”

Hanbin smiles at the answer and Bobby is certain he's made the right decision in hanging back. The change in Hanbin is surprising. “You didn't have to do that,” Hanbin says, but his smile tells Bobby that he did have to; “I'm fine, I'm just tired.”

“Just tired,” Bobby parrots back, “what's this I heard about you not sleeping lately?” He props his face up on his hand, elbow pressed into the pillow, looking down at Hanbin. Hanbin just shrugs and rolls onto his side, facing Bobby.

“Not for lack of trying,” Hanbin replies, “just been having a hard time falling asleep.”

“Everything okay?” Bobby asks, and he reaches out to curl fingers over Hanbin's arm.

Hanbin frowns at the contact and Bobby is pretty sure he wants to say something, but in the end Hanbin just shrugs it off. “Everything's fine. Probably just need a break or something.”

Bobby is willing to let it go for now. Sometimes it takes Hanbin a while to really open up, but he usually does if Bobby pries long enough. “You, taking a break? I'll believe that when I see it.” Hanbin smiles back and Bobby rubs his hand over Hanbin's arm. “Anyway, I'm secretly happy you didn't want to go out, because I really did not want to go when he first brought it up, but I didn't want to be the only one who stayed back.”

“But you'll stay when I'm the jerk?” Hanbin shoots back, an incredulous look on his face.

Bobby grins back at him. “You're not the one who's been away for a week! I missed everyone, but I'm still on Hawaii time so I should be sleeping right now.” Bobby whines back, and Hanbin grins.

“Well, I'm happy you decided to stay,” Hanbin says quietly, his fingers closing over Bobby's hand, his thumb rubbing circles in Bobby's palm, “I missed you.”

Bobby smiles at the confession and he's feeling even more pleased at the physical intimacy. There are times when it gets on his nerves, but these days he welcomes it most of the time. He's happy that no matter how many times he pushes him away, Hanbin always comes back and tries again. It's comforting. Right now though it's all making his heart beat wildly and he thinks it's kind of stupid, but sometimes, when Hanbin gets affectionate, it makes Bobby a little shy and he feels like he's fifteen again, trying to figure out how to deal with girls he likes.

He tells himself it's just because Hanbin doesn't usually verbalize his feelings.

“I missed you too.” Bobby tells him, squeezes his fingers back around Hanbin's.

“Bull,” Hanbin says with a laugh, “you were in Hawaii with your dad! I bet you had an amazing time.”

“What, just because I had an amazing time, you think that means I didn't miss you?” Bobby replies.

“You were out exploring with your dad, Bobby, you don't have to pretend that you missed us,” Hanbin says, and Bobby has a sudden explosion of understanding. But he won't go for it now, because Hanbin will probably deny it.

“I can't believe you think I wouldn't miss you,” Bobby says teasingly, “ask my dad how many times I said I wish Hanbin was here to see this or I should take a picture and send it to the boys!”

“Maybe I will,” Hanbin replies, a challenge to his tone, but then he smiles and Bobby thinks he looks a little bit happier than he did a moment ago.

“Seriously, Hawaii was amazing but it would have been better with you guys,” Bobby admits, “you'd really like it.”

“Alright, so take me one day,” Hanbin says, looks Bobby directly in the eye when he says it, and Bobby feels like he's forgotten how to breathe for a second, feels like maybe Hanbin is asking for a bit more than just a random trip; but then Hanbin breaks the trance, “just don't push me in a volcano.”

“Deal!” Bobby says with a laugh, and he would definitely go back to Hawaii one day, whether it's with the group or just Hanbin. Hanbin would be a good travel partner, Bobby thinks, neither of them are obsessive about planning, but Hanbin plans just enough to make sure they'd always have something to do. Bobby would happily follow along with whatever he wanted to see.

Bobby's arm is starting to hurt a bit so he rearranges himself in the bed, lays on his back next to Hanbin, who rolls a bit closer until his head is touching Bobby's shoulder. 

They used to sleep in bed together when they were younger, the three of them. Bobby had thought it was weird at first, but it quickly got comforting when home sickness hit him and he missed his family. They haven't done it in a while, at least not during the night, but he's shared bedspace with Hanbin a few times when they nap during the day. Bobby kind of hopes they spend the whole night cuddled up like this, because he misses it sometimes. Besides, it's nice to wake up next to someone, even if it is just Hanbin (especially if it's just Hanbin).

He can feel Hanbin's breath against his arm and it's comforting, soothing even. He wants to fall asleep right now, but he still remembers Hanbin's comments earlier, remembers that he's been having trouble sleeping lately. Bobby thinks it's a safe bet that Hanbin will sleep soundly tonight, but he still wants to pry since they've got real privacy for once.

“If I ask you a question, will you answer me honestly?” Bobby asks, feels Hanbin hold his breath while he thinks about it.

“Depends on your question.” Hanbin says it like a joke, but Bobby knows he's actually serious. Hanbin is just very good at masking himself and hiding everything.

“Were you jealous that I got to go on a trip with my dad?” Hanbin's entire body goes stiff next to him and Bobby knows he's hit the jackpot. Hanbin doesn't answer him, though, but his silence says enough, and Bobby hopes he can make him talk about it. Sometimes he thinks that Hanbin holds too many things to himself, thinks that he doesn't open up enough, but he knows that Hanbin is better at letting go of things than Bobby himself is. Bobby likes to talk about what's bothering him, while Hanbin internalizes and talks himself through letting things go.

But Bobby wants him to talk about this, because he knows it's been on Hanbin's mind for a while, and if it's been keeping him awake then clearly he needs some help. “Come on, Bin, you know you can talk to me about these things.”

The tension subsides a bit and Hanbin presses closer to Bobby, grips his fingers tightly again, and Bobby waits for him to start.

“You know I'm happy for you,” Hanbin says, and Bobby makes a noise of assent, “you know I wouldn't want anything taken away from you ever. But it kind of stings, seeing you get to do things that I can't do. I'm not even allowed to talk about my dad, not until the case settles, while you get to film a TV show with yours. And it's not just that, but your solo, too. You get to work on your own music while I have to focus on the group.”

Bobby doesn't say anything, just listens, and even though he's got nothing to feel guilty about he still feels guilty anyway. He knows Hanbin's been in a tough spot musically for the past year, focusing on creating music that works for the group and pleases management's ears. It doesn't always end up being the sort of music he wants to be making, though, and Bobby knows that it gets to him sometimes.

“Normally it doesn't bother me that much, but I don't know, with you not being around this past week I just got it in my head, thinking about what will happen with your solo, and your stuff with Minho hyung. What if it's really huge? What if it's really popular?”

Bobby squeezes Hanbin's fingers reassuringly. “It won't cut into group stuff, you know that.”

“That's not your choice, though,” Hanbin replies, “I just wonder how I'll feel, watching you promote your own music without us.” His voices catches at the end and Bobby knows what he really wants to say.

“You mean without you,” Bobby corrects, and Hanbin doesn't have to say it out loud to admit that Bobby is right.

“I just kept thinking about how things used to be,” Hanbin continues, “I think about the months we spent shooting WIN. You used to stay up with me all night, composing and writing, but it's just me, now.”

“You're lonely,” Bobby says, and he's not sure why it comes as a surprise to him but it does. Hanbin's right—they used to do everything together, back then, he was so much more involved in the music. But the truth is that he's just not that good at pop, not the way Hanbin is, it takes way more out of him. He's not sure if Hanbin wants him to get more involved again, or if he just needs to acknowledge it.

Hanbin shifts beside him, pulls away a little, but Bobby pulls him back. “Hey, don't do that, stay here.” Bobby shifts again and slides an arm under Hanbin so he can pull him closer. There's something about the moment that makes Bobby feel a little vulnerable, even though Hanbin's the one who should be feeling that way, not him.

Hanbin settles against him again, his attempts at pulling away only halfhearted to begin with. “Like I said, it normally doesn't bother me, so don't worry. It was just because you were gone and I was thinking about my dad too.”

Bobby's heart is thumping at the moment and he can't quite figure out why. He wants to blame it on being over-tired, but he has a feeling there's a bit more to it than that. “Don't apologize, you're allowed to be upset. You have it so much harder than any of us, but you never complain, you just do what needs to be done. I'm sorry you can't do what you want. I wish you could, you deserve the chance.”

Hanbin huffs and makes an annoyed sort of grumble. “Can we not talk about this? I feel like an , I shouldn't be complaining. I have a lot to be thankful for.”

“You need to talk about it, Bin,” Bobby says, isn't willing to let it drop, “you keep too much to yourself, it'll drive you crazy and one day it's all gonna snap, and then you'll wish you told me everything.”

“Ah, you don't want to hear everything.” Hanbin says softly, soft enough to the point that Bobby isn't even entirely sure that's what he actually said.

“What's that supposed to mean?” Bobby asks, confused with Hanbin's ever-shifting feelings tonight.

“Nothing,” Hanbin says, and that's when Bobby notices that Hanbin's got his right hand tapping against his chest, the way he does when he's nervous, and Bobby wonders which one of them has been driving the other towards nerves tonight.

“There's something else, I know there is,” Bobby pries, catches Hanbin's fingers in his own, “why are you nervous? What don't you want to tell me?”

“It's nothing,” Hanbin replies, pulls his hand away, “seriously, can we just go to sleep? I know I'll feel better in the morning, but if I don't I promise I'll tell you about it.”

Bobby's torn—he feels like he should pry more, feels like he needs to, but on the other hand he's exhausted and all he wants to do is fall asleep. “Do you promise me you'll talk to me in the morning if you're still upset about whatever's bothering you?”

“Promise,” Hanbin answers, “absolutely promise. But I'm pretty sure I'm only feeling upset because I'm tired, so sleep will make it all better.”

Bobby succumbs then. “Alright, I'll let you off the hook. You sure you're gonna sleep tonight?” He can't help but ask, catching Hanbin's eye.

Hanbin just looks at him for a moment before answering, and when he finally does speak Bobby notices that he almost seems a little shy. “Will you sleep with me?”

Bobby grins and reaches for him, pulls Hanbin against him until he's spooning him. “You will have to physically roll me out of this bed if you want to sleep alone.” That seems to please Hanbin, who settles easily in Bobby's arms. Bobby reaches behind him to switch off the lamp and then they're plunged into darkness with only the green glow of the clock numbers on the bedside table giving off a bit of light.

Bobby wraps his arm around Hanbin's chest, hugs him tightly, and Hanbin lets out a contented little sigh that shoots straight to Bobby's heart. It's just because he was upset, Bobby tells himself, that's the only reason why Hanbin's happy little noises fill him up with an ecstatic sort of joy.

~

Bobby doesn't know what time it is when he feels himself being shaken awake. It can't be morning, though, because it's still dark and he always wakes up first.

“Sorry, you kept talking in your sleep, and you wouldn't stop,” Hanbin explains, and Bobby yawns before sheepishly answering him.

“Ah, sorry, didn't mean to wake you up! I thought I was so tired I wouldn't do that.” He reaches out and finds that Hanbin's sitting up, so he just lays his hand on Hanbin's thigh.

“It's okay.” Hanbin doesn't say anything more.

“What was I saying?” Bobby asks, voice still sleepy and soft.

Hanbin seems surprised by the question and flounders a bit for an answer. “Uh, I, I don't know.”

It's an awkward attempt at covering something up and Bobby frowns and looks in the general direction he thinks Hanbin's face is in, because he can't make him out in the darkness. “Come on, what was I saying? I always wonder about that.”

But Hanbin seems bothered by the question and now that Bobby's waking up a bit more he realizes how weird it is. What the hell did he say that has Hanbin acting so strange about it? “Bin, what did I say?”

“I love you.” Hanbin's voice is a little strained when he answers.

“Ah, Bin, I love you too, now tell me what I said that has you so bothered!” Bobby teases back, pulling himself out from the comforter in order to sit up next to Hanbin.

“That's what you said,” Hanbin answers, “you said I love you.”

Bobby's confused—he gets the feeling that there's something Hanbin isn't telling him. “Did I say who I was talking to?” He asks teasingly, because he's not sure how else he should respond given Hanbin's reaction.

“No.”

Bobby's perturbed by Hanbin's short response—and now that he's been focusing his eyes he can see a bit more in the dark, the green glow from the clock illuminating things just enough. Hanbin's got his hand tapping against his chest again and Bobby's feeling so utterly confused.

“Hanbin, what's wrong? You seem upset.” He's at a loss for an explanation.

“I'm okay.” Hanbin answers, but he's clearly not okay.

“Come on, tell me. I'm sorry I disturbed your sleep, but I didn't think waking up to me saying I love you would be that terrible,” Bobby tries to joke, but all he gets in response is what sounds like sniffling coming from Hanbin. “Bin-ah, why won't you tell me what's bugging you?”

Hanbin's answer surprises him.

“Because of your tattoo.”

Bobby's not sure if he heard him right. “My tattoo?” He repeats, confusion lacing his voice. What on earth is Hanbin talking about?

Hanbin turns to face him then, and his breathing is shallow and it sounds like he's holding back tears. “Hate only sins,” Hanbin says as an answer, but Bobby's still at a loss, still doesn't get what he means.

Instead of trying to explain it with words, Hanbin leans forward then and kisses him and suddenly everything falls into place.

Hanbin pulls away and Bobby sits in stunned silence, mouth agape as he stares at the back of Hanbin's neck. 

Hate only sins. 

I love you.

“Hanbin,” Bobby calls out softly, but he's not entirely sure what he wants to say to him. How do you even begin to address something like this?

“I told you, you don't want to hear everything.”

Hanbin's voice is bitter and Bobby wants to reach out for him but he stops short, isn't sure if he should. Would it just confuse things? How long has Hanbin even felt like this? How long has Bobby unknowingly played into it, encouraged it even?

“I didn't want to tell you,” Hanbin says, “I never wanted to tell you, but waking up next to you and hearing you say I love you, it's just, it's too much.”

Bobby's heart breaks a little with Hanbin's words, and when he sees him hunch forward over his knees he instinctively moves closer and reaches out for him, lays his hand on Hanbin's back and rubs it, tries to find the right words for the situation. Instead all he wants to do is lean against him and hug him tightly, but he ends up doing nothing.

“I should have kept my mouth shut, , I'm sorry,” Hanbin chokes out, and as soon as the first sob escapes his throat Bobby moves on protective instinct, reaching out and pulling Hanbin into him with both arms, hugging him close and burying his face in Hanbin's hair.

“Don't apologize,” Bobby tells him, “you have nothing to be sorry about.”

“I do,” Hanbin fights him, “this is my problem, and I don't want it to come between us being friends—”

“Hey, we're more than just friends, Hanbin,” Bobby interrupts, and at that moment he's not entirely sure how he'd describe their relationship, because while he's certain he wouldn't call Hanbin just a friend, he wouldn't really call him a brother either. They're on some weird, in-between level, and the only thing Bobby knows for certain is that nothing could ever possibly come between them.

Hanbin lets out a bitter little laugh at the comment. “Fine, brothers, whatever—”

“Shh,” Bobby quiets him, finds Hanbin's lips with his fingers and presses against them, “it's okay.”

Hanbin shakes his head and pries Bobby's fingers away from his face. “It's not okay, Jiwon,” Hanbin says, and Bobby knows he's in for a struggle if Hanbin is using his birth name, “I love you, and it's not the kind of love you should have for a brother,” Hanbin's sobs are muffled into the palm of his hand.

“You're not just a brother, either,” Bobby replies.

“Then what am I?” Hanbin asks, and Bobby wants to give him an answer so badly, but the truth is that he just doesn't know. He doesn't know how to describe it, doesn't know what to say. His silence is apparently too much for Hanbin, who tries to turn away again. Bobby doesn't let him go, though.

“Look, all I know is this,” Bobby begins, “I love you, and I miss you when I'm not with you. Being around you makes me happy, it makes every worry I have vanish, like none of it is important. I laugh more when I'm with you. I feel like we just have this connection, I don't know what it is, but it can't be ruined by anything, okay?” Hanbin doesn't respond, but Bobby can hear that he's stopped crying, at least. “It doesn't bother me, Hanbin, none of it bothers me.”

It really doesn't, and it kind of surprises him. Hanbin kissed him, mouth to mouth, and Bobby isn't bothered in the slightest. He's not entirely sure what that means, doesn't know if he should be concerned at all.

“Okay,” Hanbin replies, “that's good, at least. I was worried about that.”

“About what?” Bobby asks, though he's pretty sure he knows what Hanbin means. “You thought I'd be mad?”

“Not mad,” Hanbin says, “uncomfortable? Concerned?”

Bobby remembers the tattoo, then. “I don't consider it a sin, by the way,” he explains, and Hanbin looks at him expectantly, like he wants Bobby to go on. “Being gay, I don't think it's a sin. I never did, my family doesn't.”

“Are you sure?” Hanbin asks, because it's a topic of conversation that's never actually come up between them until now, and he'd just assumed, because he'd never had any reason to expect otherwise.

“Totally,” Bobby answers, “love is never a sin, it's never a bad thing.”

Hanbin doesn't say anything in response, and Bobby lets him sit in silence for a bit to contemplate how it's gone so far. Bobby has thinking of his own to do, after all, has truths of his own to consider.

“How about we lie back down and go to sleep, talk about this in the morning?” Bobby suggests, because he can see the clock in the mirror across from the bed, can see that it's only 02:38, they've only been sleeping for maybe three hours and that's nowhere near enough.

“Okay,” Hanbin agrees, though he doesn't make a move to slide back down under the covers.

Bobby does, slides right back down to where he'd fallen asleep. He looks up at where Hanbin is still sitting up, body held in tight tension. “Come here, Bin,” Bobby beckons gently, holds the comforter away from his body, an invitation for Hanbin to cuddle into sleep again if he wants. Bobby's not entirely sure what he's doing, not sure if he should be doing this. But the truth is that he's always been weak for Hanbin, always done things based on a scale of how they'll impact Hanbin. Right now he's pretty sure Hanbin wants to be cuddled, wants to fall asleep nestled in Bobby's arms, and he's not about to push him away because he's confused about his own thoughts.

“You sure?” Hanbin asks, like he's afraid that Bobby will change his mind and scurry away from him.

“I already told you, you'll have to physically kick me out of bed if you don't want me here.”

“Actually, you said I'd only have to roll you out of bed,” Hanbin replies somewhat cheekily before sliding down beneath the held open covers and cautiously laying his head on Bobby's chest.

“Ah, you remember that?” Bobby asks with a laugh as he settles his arm around Hanbin again. He can't shake the feeling that this whole moment just feels oddly right, lying in bed with Hanbin. He's done it numerous times before, but has it always made him feel this calm? Has it always felt this good?

Hanbin's voice is muffled against his skin, but Bobby still makes him out. “I remember everything.”

Bobby grins at the answer and leans his head down to press his lips against Hanbin's forehead, a soft kiss pressed into the skin. Just as he's about to say goodnight he remembers something else.

“Hey, Bin?” Bobby waits until Hanbin his head back and looks at him in the dim glow of the clock.

“Yeah?”

Bobby smiles and trails his fingers down Hanbin's arm until he finds a hand. “I love you.” He doesn't mean it the way Hanbin wants him to mean it (or at least he doesn't think that he does, but his mind's a little hazy at the moment) but he means it, and he wants Hanbin to be certain of that. “I mean what I said before. Nothing is gonna come between us, okay?”

Hanbin smiles in the darkness, just enough for Bobby to make it out. “Okay.” Hanbin's just about to lay his head back down before Bobby squeezes his hand.

“Bin?”

Hanbin stares at him for a moment, trying to decipher what Bobby's asking for, but he gets it.

“I love you, too.”

Bobby smiles as soon as he hears it, and he can feel the tension melt away from Hanbin at that exact moment, because finally, after so long of keeping it in, finally he's been able to look Bobby in the eye and admit it all without fear of rejection.

Bobby lets go of his hand only temporarily to pat at Hanbin's cheek and pull his head down against his chest, ruffling his hair gently. “Get some sleep, and don't worry about a thing, okay? It's all gonna work out.”

“Promise?” Hanbin's question is muffled against Bobby's skin, but he still hears it.

“I promise. I won't let anything bad happen, okay? Not to you, and not to us.” He presses a soft kiss into Hanbin's forehead and lets his hand trail down until his fingers thread in with Hanbin's again, and that's how they fall asleep for a second time that night.

The next time Bobby wakes up it's the right time, barely ten minutes before the alarm is about to go off, and he thinks about how this is how he always wakes up, never with the buzzer but just before, like he needs ten minutes to appreciate things before he thinks about the day.

Hanbin is still in his arms, still cradled against him, and Bobby can't help but marvel at how ing delicate everything was the night before. He was too tired at the time (both times) to really appreciate how different a side of Hanbin he saw, how vulnerable and afraid he was, and how easily he succumbed to Bobby's promises both times.

He untangles his fingers from Hanbin's and lightly brushes them through Hanbin's hair instead, smiling down at the sleeping figure in front of him. It's not so bad, he thinks, Hanbin's love confession. It doesn't feel any more awkward this morning than it had felt the night before, doesn't make him want to move away or draw a line in between them.

Instead he's surprised to find it only makes him want to pull Hanbin closer, makes him want to brush his lips over Hanbin's lips, makes him want to nudge his leg in between Hanbin's legs, whatever he can do to get them closer to each other. Should he be surprised? Maybe. Maybe not.

He thinks again about waking up early, about how his brain has woken him up instinctually at the right time, and he smiles because it's also the right time and his mind's completely at peace when he places a finger to Hanbin's chin and tilts his face up. He covers Hanbin's mouth with his own and softly kisses him, slowly brushes his knuckles over Hanbin's cheek and his tongue against Hanbin's lips and Hanbin lets out the most contented sigh Bobby's ever heard from him and it's all so perfect and Bobby wouldn't trade it for anything.

A minute later and Hanbin's blinking open his eyes and yawning in Bobby's face and Bobby can't do anything other than smile and watch him, because this is exactly what he wants to wake up to, this morning and every morning.

“How you feeling?” Bobby asks him when Hanbin finally seems aware enough of the situation to take in Bobby's fingers on his cheek and knee in between his legs, when he seems to understand the impossibly fond smile Bobby's wearing as he looks at him.

Hanbin's face lights up in the cutest smile Bobby thinks he's ever seen.

“Hopeful.”

Bobby laughs at his answer, his smile so wide he can barely see, and he pulls Hanbin in closer to kiss him again.

He thinks that hopeful might just be the perfect word to describe them.