A/N: You'll be the judge if this is an angst? 

-For the girl who will never be mine. This letter is for you.-

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My beloved Taeyeon ah,

My heart hurts again. My heart hurts so much. I've come to the point were I don't know anymore if it hurts because I miss you so much or is it because you're not mine and he really makes you happy.

I can make you happy right? I did and still make you happy right?

But why do you need to choose him? Why? And why the hell am I so dense that I only realize my feelings now?

Now that you already have him. Now that he already made you happy.

I can also love you as much as he loves you. I can also make you happy. You might be out of my league, I might not be able to give you all the luxurious things he can give you, but I was a great best friend right? But I guess that's where it went wrong. I made sure before that I am only a best friend and not anything more than that. I can give you all my heart Taeyeon ah, and I won't mind if you'll never love me as much as I love you.

But I hate how I can be selfish sometimes. I hate how my heart aches whenever I see you happy with him. Trust me I wanted to be completely happy for you, but how? How can I do that when it hurts so much?

I thought I can keep all my feelings, but the longer I keep this the deeper and greater it hurts too.

You're going to make me crazy again. I hate how I want you, yet you're also the sole reason why I am hurting this much.

Will you ever be mine?

I hate how I ing reacted when you touched my lower lip and teased me to put a lipstick on it yesterday. Do you know how much I tried not to look at your lips? How much that memory was engraved in my mind because that's how thirsty I am to be love back that every single touch and memory you have with me will be engraved in my mind. Do you also know how beautiful you are yesterday? I hate how you always look good for me. I hate how much I need to train my eyes to don't look at you. I hate how it left a lingering feeling in me when you touched my hand and hold it. I hate how happy I was when you chose to sat beside me. I hate how you can affect me this much. I hate how stupid my heart is for falling for you. I hate how I can never really hate you cause I ing love you.

Taeyeon..

I love you..

It must be pretty ironic cause after I said that into my mind with all the boundaries, fear, pain and all the ty things that held me back from admitting it to you, it felt lighter when I finally admitted it to myself. My heart felt lighter. I hope you can make this feeling of lightness in my heart last. I can only hope for it, but I knew it's pretty impossible.

From the girl who fell in love with you unknowingly,

Tiffany

P.S.

I want to apologize for falling for you, but I just can't cause loving you was the best thing that happened into me.