“I hate parties. You know this,” Yoongi states, his best grumpy cat glare pointed in Jin’s direction.

 “You hate everything,” Jin retorts with a slight grunt of disapproval, or at least Yoongi thinks it’s disapproval.

 “Not everything,” Yoongi combats. “Just people, cats, puppies, and life.” Yoongi does a mental count (okay, so everything, but he’s not going down without a fight).

 “Look, it’s not like I’m asking you to rob a bank or kill the elderly. I’m simply asking you to accompany me to a party and possiblymeetafriendofmineandjimin’s.” Yoongi blinks, trying to decipher the last part of the sentence.

 “What did you say after party?” he asks, eying Jin suspiciously.

 “What? Oh, it’s nothing,” Jin says with a nonchalant wave of his hand.

 “Really? If it’s nothing, why not repeat it then? Look, I know you. Three years of high school and four years of college with you have taught me a few things, now spill. What did you just speed talk through?”

 “So, well, Jimin and I were talking about you…”

 Curse God and his parents for creating him after Jin, because right now he wants to be disrespectful as hell. Nothing good can come of Jin and Jimin talking about him. Nothing.

Jin continues, “…we have a mutual friend that we think you’d really hit it off with, or you know, as close to hitting it off as you can get.”

Yoongi grimaces and wishes with all his might that he could breathe fire.

His wish doesn’t come true.

They never do.

“Why? I’m good. I don’t need to meet your friend, and why are you and Jimin always talking about me? Are you two that boring that you can’t find another topic of conversation, or am I just that interesting?” He happily ignores the warning scowl of Jin’s eyebrows. “It’s the second one, isn’t it?” Yoongi knows he’s pushing boundaries, but he doesn’t care.

“Believe what you want.” There’s a clip to Jin’s tone that has Yoongi smiling on the inside, his mental scoreboard adding a point to his side. Small victories, he’ll take them. 

He’s not lonely or unhappy. He has his music, his work, Jin, Namjoon, and on occasion even Jimin. He’s fine; life’s fine. So then why, instead of being offended that Jin would even think to make such an offer, is he quietly contemplating its merits?

“Look, Christmas is coming, so how about as a stocking stuffer, not present, you meet my friend?” Jin’s smiles his sweet smile, the one that says, ‘don’t even think about saying no,’ and Yoongi knows he’s been defeated. 

“Fine,” he huffs out and jumps, startled by Jin clapping his hands together gleefully.

“Excellent! Now, do you have an ugly Christmas sweater?” Jin stares at him expectantly. 

Now. Now , Yoongi regrets everything.

 

Meanwhile…

 

“A party! Can I come, huh? I promise I won’t do anything embarrassing, uhmm…while sober. I promise not to do anything embarrassing while sober,” Taehyung reiterates.

Jimin casts a doubtful look in his direction but doesn’t say no, and Taehyung’s somewhat suspicious about his friend’s actions given that the last time he begged to tag along to a soiree he ate one too many rum balls (okay, he ate all the rum balls) and proceeded to throw up on Jimin’s boss. How was he supposed to know they used actual rum to make them? Who puts alcohol in pastry? 

“You really promise?” Jimin asks, his voice still somewhat uncertain. 

“I swear,” he holds up two fingers. “Scouts honor.” 

“You were never in the Boy Scouts, Tae,” Jimin says, flicking him in the forehead.

“So? I can still adhere to their code of honor, and ouch. Why?” he asks, rubbing his forehead. 

“Because.” Years of friendship have taught him that this is the only answer he’ll get. 

“So can I go?” he asks expectantly 

“Yes, you can come.” 

“Yes! What should I wear?” Taehyung’s mind does a quick sweep of his closet. “How about punk-rock hot or beggar chic? Ooh, maybe dandy boy classic, with a twist. I look exquisite in frill.” 

“Uhm… it’s an ugly sweater party,” Jimin says sheepishly. 

Ugly sweater?

“Ugly sweater? You mean like light-up Christmas trees and fuzzy Rudolph? Like the sweaters grandparents give to grandchildren they don’t like?” 

“Uhm, yeah?” 

“OH MY GOD! THAT’S SO GREAT! We need to go shopping, stat. I want a red one with Christmas lights that twinkle. Oooh, do you think they’d have ones that play Christmas carols? Oh my God, I’m so excited. Maybe I should get green instead?” Taehyung’s mind is a kaleidoscope of Christmas-themed clothing, and it’s the best thing ever.

He looks up to find Jimin smiling at him thoughtfully. 

“What? Is there something on my face?” He unconsciously runs a hand over his cheeks. 

“Tae, have I told you lately what an awesome friend you are?” Jimin says, his signature eye smile beaming brightly. 

“No, you haven’t, but feel free to do so right now. Better late than never.” He chuckles, this time ducking in time to miss Jimin’s finger aiming for his forehead yet again. “Just so you know, I accept presents after Christmas as well.”

With that Taehyung is out of the room, down the hall, and away from Jimin’s retaliation.

 

Ugly Sweater Day…

 

The sweater is stupid and ugly and itchy... and stupid. Yes, I know I thought stupid twice. Fight me. The first thing he notices as Jin pulls the car into a parking spot on the road is the house itself,  twinkling lights adorning the corners and edges perfectly as though the house was built with the decoration already in place. The trees are also sufficiently enhanced with colorful lights dancing in between branches. Christmas music and laughter can be heard spilling from the open windows and door, and Yoongi wonders if he’ll survive all the sugary happiness that seems to be filling the air. 

He thinks not. 

As they enter the house, Jin’s all smiles and hand shaking while Yoongi greets people with a gruff, curt nod, hoping to abstain from inviting conversation. He’s grumpy and unhappy, and his I-want-to-be-a-rock-in-my-next-life personality is sourly out of place amongst the overly lively crowd. The music is ten times louder inside, and it’s bubbly and candy sweet, and Yoongi fights the urge to throw up right then and there. He can deal with overly happy, constantly touching people trying to make small talk. He can deal with fake smiles and over the top decoration, but he cannot deal with it while wearing this damn sweater.  

The black sweater is made from what he can only assume is burlap, it itches so badly. It would be tolerable if not for the red, green, and orange lights blinking on it, making him feel like the world’s most awkward neon sign. He takes solace in the fact that he seems to be wearing one of the least offensive Christmas-themed tops, definitely better than the Rudolph sweater he’s current staring at where eyes and a large bright red nose make up the entire front. Poor sap.  

He continues to scan the crowd, looking for other outfits to help him feel better about himself. No, no, no. His eyes fall on someone he’d hoped to never see again. He blinks. Maybe it’s just my eyes playing tricks on me. Looking again he realizes his eyes are fine because there, in all his Christmas-themed clothing glory, is none other than Kim Taehyung. 

Now, now Yoongi’s irritated on two fronts, no make that three. First, he’s at an ugly Christmas sweater party. Second, he’s at an ugly Christmas sweater party while wearing a stupid, made of burlap, ugly Christmas sweater. Lastly, he’s at an ugly Christmas sweater party with Kim Taehyung, who’s also wearing an ugly Christmas sweater that just happens to look amazing on him. Life’s ing unfair.  

They’re not friends, he and Taehyung, but they’re not enemies either. What they are, are polar opposites, and like oil and water, they shouldn’t mix. They have met before, on a work project, and while he doesn’t hate the man, he’s not a fan. Taehyung’s all the things Yoongi dislikes about the human race wrapped up in a grabby-hands, chatty pretty boy with a square smile and come-hither stare who seems to have a disease that keeps his tongue his lips as though standing in front the baked goods counter at Paris Baguette. 

 

 

New plan, avoid Kim Taehyung at all costs.

It’s a shame that Yoongi’s plans never go as planned.

 

Meanwhile across the room…

 

Holy hell. What’s he doing here?  

Taehyung had been having a lovely time, a fantastic time, in fact. Namjoon had brought along a friend, a very friendly friend with a broad smile and sparkling eyes who liked to touch and talk as much as Taehyung. He’d found the perfect sweater too. It’s green with Frosty holding a book of carols that lights up red and green, and the best part, the bestest part is that Frosty is singing the carols. On a scale of one to ten, this sweater is a million. Taehyung had been having a lovely time until he spotted Min Yoongi. 

The older man is his nemesis. Okay maybe nemesis is too strong of a word. Arch enemy ? No, not right either. What he does know is that he does not now, nor will he EVER, like Min Yoongi. He also will not be talking to Min Yoongi or interacting with Min Yoongi at this party. 

Taehyung and Yoongi had met two years ago when their respective Ad Agencies had joined forces to work on a project. The two men had clashed almost instantly and on every front, from hair color to ad slogan. Yoongi had made him feel inadequate, and Taehyung is well aware that he’s not. He’s damn good at what he does. Taehyung had tried his best to keep calm, keep his cool. He had taken every subtle hit to his creative process with grace and dignity. 

The problem was not that Taehyung wasn’t creative, it was that Yoongi was an old grump with a stick up his . The gloves came off when Yoongi had gone behind his back and edited out Taehyung’s creative input when first presenting the project. He won’t lie, the man’s reasons were valid, and they had worked it out and in the end came up with a product that combined both their talents. However, Taehyung cannot and will NOT forgive Yoongi for not talking to him before unilaterally making a decision that affected both of them. 

Why’s he even here? He hates people and places and things.  

Taehyung soon learns why Yoongi’s here, and he’s not happy about it.

“Hey Tae, there’s someone I’d like to introduce you to. He’s a friend of Jin hyung, and I thought you two would hit it off. Hyung did too,” Jimin says, a hand lightly resting on Taehyung’s back, leading him in the direction of none other than Min Yoongi. 

No, it can’t be. Jimin wouldn’t, he just couldn’t… Holy he is.  

Taehyung realizes too late what’s about to happen. Alarms are going off, it’s an all hands on deck type situation, his brain is screaming danger, danger, danger , red lights are flashing in his mind’s eye. Before he can react, he finds himself standing in front of an equally shocked Min Yoongi, and if awkward had a picture in the dictionary, it would be a snapshot of this very moment. 

“Yoongi, this is Kim Taehyung. He’s good friend of mine and Jimin’s. Taehyung is in the advertising business as well, and well, Jimin and I just thought you guys would hit it off.” Taehyung is staring at Jin, wondering if he heard correctly. Hit it off? With Min Yoongi? What alternate universe is this? 

He wonders if he should speak up and make his friends aware that he knows the tiny man with the porcupine personality, but Jimin is smiling, genuinely smiling, like he’s discovered the cure for cancer or stopped a meteor from destroying the earth and Taehyung pauses for a moment. Jimin knows him best. They’ve been friends since grade school. Jimin knows what he likes and what he dislikes. Jimin knows that he prefers the crust cut off his bread and that he can eat his weight in chicken and strawberries and not gain a pound, but most importantly Jimin knows that when it comes to love, he just wants someone that’s sincere. 

He wonders if, because of his belief in Jimin, he should give Min Yoongi a second chance. The other option would be acknowledging that they’re acquaintances and letting Jimin know he thinks the other man is a grumpy old fart wrapped up in flawless skin and a gummy smile. Yoongi looks absolutely petrified and confused. A big part of Taehyung wants to get some revenge and use this moment to his advantage, but a smaller part, the part he seems to always listen to, says to give it a try. 

So he does. 

“Nice to meet you, Yoongi,” he says as he extends his hand. 

He watches in slight amusement as Yoongi’s expression goes from lost to confused and finally to understanding. 

“Nice to meet you too, Taehyung.” Taehyung’s momentarily stunned. He’d forgotten how deep and gruff Yoongi’s voice is. 

“Okay,” Jin says with a slight giggle, “we’ll just leave you two to get acquainted then.” Jin pulls a reluctant-looking Jimin away. 

“Why didn’t you tell them we know each other?” Yoongi asks as soon as Jin and Jimin are out of earshot. 

“I don’t know, really. Why didn’t you?” The older man looks contemplative. 

“I was so shocked when I finally realized what was happening, I honestly couldn’t find words.” Taehyung nods at the man’s reply. 

“Same, to be honest. I had no idea this was a setup. Jimin played me like an instrument. I literally was begging to come.” Taehyung laughs, an odd sense of pride swelling due to Jimin’s cunning ways. 

Yoongi chuckles a gummy chuckle, and Taehyung had forgotten how much he liked the man’s smile. It’s Yoongi’s one real redeeming quality. Well, that and his thick, scratchy, hot as hell voice, and then there’s his beautiful skin…Taehyung had often wondered what it would feel like under his fingertips on the days he wasn’t pondering how long it would take to choke the man to death (okay fine, Yoongi has a lot of redeeming qualities). 

“So,” Yoongi says, then pauses, and Taehyung looks up to find the man staring. 

“So?” he volleys back. 

“Uhm..” Yoongi rubs the back of his neck, and Taehyung all but gawks, because where was this shy, adorable version when we worked together? “How should we handle this? Do we tell them? Uhm, do we, I mean could…should we-” 

“Go on a date?” Taehyung cuts him off, worried that he’d go gray by the time the words actually made it out of the Yoongi’s mouth. 

“Uhm… yeah, I guess. I mean, Jin and Jimin went through all this trouble to set us up. We should at least try, right?” 

“Who are you and what have you done with the real Min Yoongi?” Taehyung asks suspiciously. 

“What?” Yoongi asks with wide, curious eyes. 

“The Yoongi I remember was never this willing to try something new,” Taehyung says and wonders if he’s being too honest. 

“Work life and personal life are two different things, Taehyung. I’m willing to take risks in my personal life, you know, as long as they’re not dangerous or death-defying. Are you dangerous or death-defying, Taehyung?” Yoongi asks, and this time Taehyung does gawk. 

“Are you flirting right now?” Taehyung’s jaw almost hits the floor, and now, now he wants a refund on all the stick in the mud Yoongi moments he’d been forced to endure during their brief stint together. He contemplates suing the man because, once again, where the was this Yoongi?  

“I don’t flirt kid. I’m merely asking a question,” Yoongi says dryly. There’s something in the man’s tone, something hidden, something that gives Taehyung hope that maybe Jimin was right. 

“Fine, let’s do it. Let’s go on a date. You can judge for yourself, Min Yoongi, if I’m dangerous or death-defying.” It’s a challenge, a gauntlet has been dropped, and he secretly hopes Yoongi’s up for the task. 

Yoongi looks at him, curiosity curving the man’s brows, and Taehyung wishes his superpower was mind-reading instead of being devilishly handsome. For reasons that Taehyung can’t fathom he feels somewhat self-conscious, caught in the net of Yoongi’s very direct gaze. 

“Uhm, do you—should we…do you think we should exchange contact info?” There it is, a complete sentence. 

A mental fist pump is in order. 

“I have your contact info,” Yoongi replies and it’s too quick, and Taehyung does trip over his bottom lip because his jaw is on the ground and his tongue has rolled away. 

Oh my God! He still has my contact info.  

Taehyung’s not known for his silence. From kindergarten until he graduated high school, his lack of quiet has been his one character flaw, but now his tongue (which has been successfully scooped back between his lips, praise the Lord) is stuck to the roof of his mouth, and he’s not sure how to respond.

“Oh.” Eloquence at it’s finest; he facepalms mentally. “Uhm, can I have yours then?”

“Yeah. Here.” Yoongi hands him a business card. 

“Thank you,” Taehyung says, taking the card from the man with both hands. 

“So how does next Saturday sound?” 

“Good. It sounds good.” Taehyung stares at the card in his grip, not because he’s mesmerized or overwhelmed by emotions, but because he’d done the same. He’d kept Yoongi’s contact information all this time as well. 

“Okay, we can settle the details during the week,” Yoongi says, and it feels like a business transaction suddenly and Taehyung snaps back to reality. 

“Yeah, sure. Talk to you then.” 

They stand in uncomfortable silence for a few moments more, neither wanting to be the first to walk away. Taehyung almost yells out, “ Oh, thank you, God,” when he sees Jimin coming to rescue him. Hugs. When he and Jimin get home his friend and roommate will be the recipient of all the hugs. 

“Hey,” Jimin says, eyeing Taehyung carefully, and Taehyung hopes the look he gives him in return says: Please get me get me out of this awkward purgatory, but do it nicely because we’re going on a date Saturday.  

“Jin hyung is being all social butterfly, and I‘m hungry. Can you come with me to the food area? 

“Yes.” His response may have been too loud and too quick, but Taehyung doesn’t care. “I’ll talk to you later, Yoongi.” 

Taehyung grabs Jimin’s arm and heads in the direction of the food. 

“Why’s everyone dragging me around tonight?” Jimin whines.

“Because you’re tiny and cute, like a Rolly Teacup pup.” Taehyung smiles. “Ouch! What the hell?”

“I’m not a puppy, I’m a human being and I’m hungry, and people can’t be held responsible for their reactions, no matter how severe, when they’re hungry.” 

“Hyungs.” 

“Kookie,” Taehyung replies with a jubilant clap. “When did you get here?” 

“Not too long ago. I needed a break from studying; finals are kicking my-” Jungkook stops talking abruptly, eyes staring at something past Taehyung’s shoulder. He turns to see what Jungkook is so entranced by. “Hyung, who is that? Do you know him?” 

“You mean the guy with the thousand-watt smile?” Leave it to Jungkook to spot the only guy Taehyung had been interested in prior to his odd, possibly flirting moment with Min Yoongi. 

“Yes, him.” 

“That’s Hoseok hyung, Namjoon hyung’s super friendly friend. Want an intro?” 

Taehyung turns around when instead of a response he hears Jimin giggling beside him. He finds Jungkook nodding his head furiously, bobble-head on a dashboard style. Normally Taehyung doesn’t share things he likes, especially when those things are in the form of a hot guy with a killer smile, but he has a date with Yoongi on Saturday. Taehyung’s not about the heir and a spare life, so he walks Jungkook over to the smiling man and happily introduces the two.

 

A Couple Days Later…

 

To: TalkativeTaehyung

We still on for Saturday?

 

From: TalkativeTaehyung

Yes.

Taehyung is still on for Saturday.

 

Yoongi blinks at the reply.

 

To: TalkativeTaehyung

Is this Taehyung?

 

From: TalkativeTaehyung

Yes.

 

To: TalkativeTehyung

Why’re you talking in third person?

 

From: TalkativeTaehyung

Maybe Taehyung likes third person

 

Yoongi genuinely considers changing Taehyung’s contact name to annoying2. Jin will always be number one.

 

From: TalkativeTaehyung

Taehyung talks in 3 rd person now

Yoongi hasn't seen Taehyung in a while

Taehyung has changed

 

To: TalkativeTaehyung

I saw you two days ago

 

Yoongi stares at the words on the screen. Taehyung truly is a rare find. It’s a quality he admires in the younger man. When they worked together he was always impressed with Taehyung’s fresh, completely out of the box perspectives. Where he colored within the lines, carefully and precisely, Taehyung would ignore the lines altogether. He wishes that he’d made it clearer then that he thought the man was a brilliant. At the time, the younger man had been like a whirlwind swirling around Yoongi’s turtle-like personality, and he found himself constantly in a tailspin when in Taehyung’s exuberant presence, never knowing which way was up.

 

From: TalkativeTaehyung

Taehyung’s sad that

Yoongi can’t accept the new him

 

Yoongi can’t help his smile. The kid’s incorrigible, and he knows he has no hope of correcting or stopping the pattern of conversation that has been started.

 

To: TalkativeTaehyung

Yoongi apologizes for

not realizing Taehyung has changed

Yoongi will reflect and do better

 

From: TalkativeTaehyung

Taehyung accepts Yoongi’s apology

 

To: TalkativeTaehyung

Does two on Saturday work for Taehyung?

 

From: TalkativeTaehyung

Taehyung is happy with the time

And with Yoongi’s acceptance of the new him

 

To: TalkativeTaehyung

Yoongi will see Taehyung on Saturday then

From: TalkativeTaehyung

:)

 

Yoongi throws the phone on the couch next to him, and he wonders if he’ll survive Taehyung, wonders if the younger man will talk in third person the entire date. He chuckles to himself. The man’s so random and unexpected. Maybe Jin’s right. Maybe it is time for him to let someone in. He’s been locked up in a steel cage on the relationship front for so long, and he’s not sure where he’s thrown the keys. On the plus side, Taehyung’s a bulldozer that can cut through steel. What am I even thinking right