notes: Kyungsoo's name means bright and flowery. 

Absence. 

Kim Jongin woke up that day at four AM, the dim light disturbing him as it passed through the open window, bringing with it the feeling of oblivion, the thought of something so real it was inexistent. His heart wrapped up in a box, his mind blown away, his lungs in chains, and yet, he knew that the feeling inside him was real, the thought that roamed around his brain was clear, and he could breathe. 

Weightless. 

As he walked, shoes being dragged on the black tar of the road, he didn’t hear his steps, even though they echoed in the empty streets. There was something else dancing in the atmosphere with the wind, tickling his memory, the feathery sound of piano notes that he had never heard. He wanted to dance, against gravity, against reason, against purpose. He wasn’t going crazy. Not yet. 

Madness.

It was swallowing him as he sipped on his coffee. It was draining him as he breathed. He sat on an empty table by the window, among the emptiness with which the early hours of the morning were filled. He smelled jasmines, coffee and honey, chasing each other around him, stopping by his dry, chapped lips, blemishing them as he fought the urge to break his bones and rip his skin open. And he thought that this is what he smells like, whoever he was was. 

Tenderness. 

Kim Jongin likes drinking coffee on an early Sunday morning when the streets are as empty as his soul. Kim Jongin likes dancing to Tchaikovsky under the moonlight when the stars are his only attendants. Kim Jongin likes watching The Dreamers before he falls asleep, or while he is reading a book, even though he likes silence. There are a lot of things Kim Jongin likes, but he loves the smell of jasmines, he loves unknown piano notes, he loves the feeling, the thought of someone who he has never met, never known, but which his tender heart is always seeking. 

Kyungsoo.

Bright and flowery, slowly killing Jongin. Kyungsoo: that must be his name. 

Absent. 

Weightless.

Madness.

Tenderness.

Kyungsoo.