Anyone ask for a double update?

“They’re not coming back anymore, Dara.”

The small girl just wiped her tired eyes and looked up at her aunt and uncle.

“No, they told me that they’ll just buy some groceries.” Dara mumbled sleepily. “They told me to protect the house.” She smiled and puffed her chest.

Her aunt let out a shaky sigh and dropped down to give her a hug. She could hear her sniffle and it made the girl frown and pat her aunt’s back. She looked up to meet her uncle’s gaze but the man just looked away.

“Oh baby.” Her aunt sighed shakily. “Samchon and I will take you in, okay? You’re not going to be alone, Dara-yah.”

The 6 year old leaned back, furrowing her brows as she looked at her aunt with confusion. “No, appa told me to watch the house while they’re gone. How am I gonna watch it when I’m not here?” she said.

It just made her aunt cry harder and embrace her tighter. Her uncle put his trembling hand on her head and smiled unsteadily at her. “We’ll protect the house for you.” He assured. “But you’re gonna be living with us for now.”

Dara peered at them and started to pull away from the hug but her aunt wasn’t letting her. The act just made her more restless and hysterical. “No. No!” she shrieked, trying to get out from her grip. “I don’t wanna live with you! I wanna live with omma and appa! I wanna live in this house!” Tears prickled her eyes when she noticed the darkness that surrounded their living room. “I w-want my mommy.” She whispered.

Her godparents explained her everything that happened and she could just listen silently, her eyes dripping with unshed tears.

It was then that she knew that she’d been rejected by the people she truly loved.

Jiyong watched the video on his phone for the nth time now. There it showed Dara on top of his bed, crying… but looking completely happy as she hugged his clothes to her chest. It was when she visited his pent house for the first time. It was one of the rare times he saw her shed tears. He rubbed his face, exhausted, and stared unblinkingly at the ceiling in front of him.

He was in his family’s house. He was too rattled by Dara being a stalker that he couldn’t feel at peace knowing that she was just a building away. His mind told him that he did the right thing but his heart, his stupid ing heart, still wanted to be with her. He cursed himself for falling in love to easily.

Dara tossed and turned in her bed. She noticed that the lights on Jiyong’s condo haven’t lit up yet and it made her feel slightly uneasy. She also checked her Instagram and didn’t see a trace of the photo he took of them earlier. She looked at his twitter and found no activity there either. Actually, there was no update on any of his SNS at all. It was like he blocked himself out from it.

She suddenly shook her head and chuckled.

She was going overboard again. It wasn’t like he’s been in SNS hiatus for that long. Maybe he was just tired. That would really explain why he just left her studio all of the sudden. She texted him if he was alright but it’s been almost 5 hours and there was still no reply. She’s willing herself not to expect that much from him but she couldn’t help but feel a pang of disappointment. Dara felt like he was closing himself off to her and the world. So there in her bedroom she did what she didn’t expect she would do again in a lifetime.

She prayed.

She didn’t know why she was so compelled to do this since she lost faith a long time ago but Jiyong warming up to her changed everything she believed in. He gave her hope. He gave her faith.

“Hey, my main man.” She said rather awkwardly, her hands clamped together in prayer. “It’s been a while, huh? How’ve you been? Me? I’m doing splendid. Kwon Jiyong and I are doing fine too! Speaking of Kwon Jiyong… I think something’s going on with him. I know, I know, I’m thinking of things again but I just can’t help it when he pops into my head.” She sighed. “What I’m trying to get is, if it’s not too much to ask, can you help him out with his problems? He’s obviously having a hard time with it and I guess I’m here to ask you to make it easier for him.”

“I’m biased, I know. He is my bias after all.” Dara giggled to herself and then cringed. “I swear I’ll be a better person when you hear me out, big guy. I’ll stop it with the swearing.” She paused. “Okay, I’ll take that back. I don’t think I can do that but I’ll stop hitting my friends for no reason anymore!” She pointed up at the ceiling as if the man himself was pointing back at her in understanding. She laughed again and settled to a small smile. “Please help Jiyong out. Guide him well and allow him the opportunity to find his happiness. You should know how much he deserves it.”

“Please do this one thing for me, God.” She closed her eyes somberly and whispered, “And tell my parents that I miss them.”

She took her praying hands and spread them over her face to hide her sadness.

“I miss them a lot.”

On the next day, Jiyong didn’t come to the building. Dara asked Bom and the guys what happened to him but all of their answers differed.

Bom said, “He’s moping at his parent’s house.” She believed that but then she heard the other boys’ answers.

“He’s in Japan.” Seungri nodded to himself.

“Jiyong’s in the mountains looking for inspiration.” Contradicts Mr. T.O.P.

“I don’t know. Why do I care?” Sulked Youngbae, stealing glances at Dara.

“I think he’s in a room.” Daesung murmured vaguely.

She has no clue what’s going on with him and she was getting worried by the minute. She even asked Hyunsuk for help but he just told her to calm down and wait for him. Somehow, his hardened face just added more to her anxiety. There was something serious going on and Dara felt isolated being left out in the dark like this. She knew that the people around her had an idea about Jiyong but no one was telling her anything more. It was like they were purposefully evading every question that concerned him. It was unnerving her.

And it was definitely scaring her.

Why wasn’t anyone telling her anything?

Another day has passed and there was still no word from Jiyong. She asked the others again but they just turned their heads at her and changed topics. She hoped to get the truth from Bom but like the others, she was a part of the unwritten agreement to not speak of him. Bom just gave her meaningful smiles and caresses on the arm but that wasn’t enough for her. She needed to know what was going on. She felt like she was being suffocated for some reason and the only way to get her to breathe again was knowing that if Kwon Jiyong was okay.

Her head scrambled for reasons for his 2 day disappearance. Was he sick? Was he getting writer’s block? Was he on vacation?

Was he ignoring her?

Dara tried so hard to swallow the lump on the throat and when she did, she didn’t even feel an ounce of relief. Instead, she felt dread. Dread at the thought of Jiyong realizing his feelings. Those same feelings that didn’t answer to her.

She could very well just give up now until it’s too late but it already was too late. She was stubborn. Dara didn’t want to settle for a glimpse of their future. She wanted a blockbuster movie of it. She wanted to see the whole thing even though everything was shrouded with doubt now.

But as said earlier, Dara was a very stubborn girl. Her feelings never wavered amidst the anxious dread creeping up on her. She took all the good memories she had of him and replayed them in his head endlessly, making her remember all the reasons why she fell in love with him and why she keeps on falling in love with him.

Her pen tapped restlessly on the desk. She couldn’t concentrate at all. Her mind was all jumbled up and the melodies and lyrics in her head where all scattered around in one big mess. Complete silence only made her more fidgety and listening to different songs only made her more despondent. She wrote and wrote and wrote but every little word she made was crossed out into oblivion.

She didn’t like feeling sad. She completely despised that feeling. But she knew that she couldn’t even control that negativity. She finally admitted it to herself. Dara felt depressed and disappointed. Two things that haven’t impacted her this much in a long time.

She just couldn’t help it.

And the same just went for what she felt for Jiyong.

She just couldn’t help falling in love with him.

“Shut up, stop laughing at her!” A 7 year old Bom chided, gripping Dara’s hand.

“She’s older than us but she still wears a diaper!” A bully announced and the rest of the class roared with laughter.

The boy tried to let everyone see the elastic waistband of her diaper but before he could come closer, Bom punched him square in the jaw. The boy was dumbfounded at first before he burst out crying. His friends immediately surrounded him while some others started ganging up on the two girls.

“What? Just because of a punch you go crying like a little baby?” Bom spat. “I’m older than you too, kid. I don’t know who your parents are but I can already tell they didn’t raise you right! I’m gonna tell my daddy to sue you for hurting my friend’s feelings!”

“‘Daddy’, ‘daddy’, ‘daddy’! It’s always like that with you.” A girl scoffed. “Your daddy’s just some office man like the rest of our daddies. Stop acting like you’re so rich and snotty! This is why no one plays with you. No one likes a snotty girl!”

“Snotty girl! Snotty girl!” her friends chanted behind her.

When Bom was about to aim another punch, the girls shrieked in fright and ran to the back of the class. Suddenly, the room got quiet and they heard a quiet stream of hissing. Their eyes darted around the class and eventually, all of them found their way to meet Dara’s pale face.

“EWWWWWW SHE’S PEEING!!!!”

They all erupted in groans of disgust as they looked and pointed at her with complete distaste. Bom growled at them and immediately pulled her out of the class and towards the bathroom. They saw their homeroom teacher pass by and scold them but they just ignored her.

Bom locked the door behind her, refusing to let go of Dara’s trembling hand. She dove in to hug her and that was when Dara’s tears finally spilled. She bawled and hiccupped on her shoulder while Bom could just continued giving her a comforting embrace.

It’s been a year since Dara’s parents left her. She found out three month after the incident that her parents got into an intentional car accident which officially made her lose the absolute loves of her young life. It was one thing that they abandoned her but is was another thing that they were dead. Now there really was no hope of them coming back to her and hugging her like they used to. They weren’t even planning to come back to her.

Bom leaned back to look at her face. She gently massaged the girl’s temple as the latter continued to cry by herself. Amidst the incessant tears, Dara looked up at her and saw pity, the thing she hated the most. When her godparents took her in, all she saw was pity. When her other relatives, her cousins, and grandparents came in, all she saw was pity. She hated that look. To Dara, that look was telling her that all hope was lost. That look was basically telling her to give up and just go with the tides. She hated it.

But what could she do? She deserved it. She was pitiful and broken after the loss of her birth parents. She deserved that look. She deserved to get that feeling.

Through the past few months, Dara went through a complete change in her system. She was getting anxiety attacks from being left alone in a room and she was in constant fear of seeing people leave through the door. The stress and pressure that her mind put on her made her stay back a year to help recuperate herself. Bom, being her friend before she even knew what the word meant, stayed behind to comfort her even against the better judgment of her own parents.

The anxiety that continued to bug Dara also made her incapable of controlling her pee. Whenever she feels the least bit scared or stressed out, she pees herself. As a 7 year old, she felt completely embarrassed and ashamed about this. But what could she do? She couldn’t even control her own feelings let alon