“I loved you! How could you do this to me?! To us!?” She didn’t mean to allow her emotions to best her, however her insecurity was eating her alive, a thousand questions running through her mind like wild fire.

“How could I?” His voice was husky and slurred, the scent of alcohol becoming obvious from his breath as he stumbled towards her, trying to keep eye contact but his swaying posture wouldn’t allow such to happen. “How could you? After everything I did for you” he spat the last statement, sludging against the wall.

“You’re drunk” she spoke the obvious, wiping away the tear that he didn’t deserve, her eyes instead lingering towards the female whom was busy trying to piece back on her clothing. “I hate you” she spoke the words and they only seemed to make the angered male that much angrier as he straightened himself, his eyes connected with hers harshly, yet he stayed silent. “I hate that you made me hate you” she continued, her voice gaining volume behind it. “Most of all, I hate that I loved you.”

“You” he spoke in between pants, his finger swaying as it attempted to point within her direction “never loved me. You only loved what I offered” he slurred the words, falling towards his knees in defeat, punching at the ground. “WHY!?” He yelled, loud enough to startle both females within the room.

“I loved you for Ji-Yong, not G-Dragon. Most the times, I wished you weren’t G-Dragon… Like right now, because the Ji-Yong I know, wouldn’t have hurt me like this” she spoke the last of how she felt before leaving the room, not bothering to look back at a man who didn’t even deserve her first glance, let alone a second one.

~*~ HIS POV ~*~

Once again, he found himself awake within the midnight hour, his eyes burning with a need for sleep, yet his mind never allowing himself the pleasure. It had been seven days since he last seen her smile, six days since he last heard her voice, throwing hatred at him. He’d rather hear the hatred than to listen to the silence that surrounded him every night and day, would rather hear her anger than to be left without her voice. It had been two hours since he last went through his gallery, memories that would forever haunt his mind, reminding him heavily of the person he wronged and didn’t deserve.

“Hyung, got to sleep” he heard the voice, but he couldn’t decipher whom it was who spoke it, nor where it came from within the room.

“Nye” he responded, deleting the number he dialed in and closing his phone, placing it above his head in case she would call, he couldn’t miss it.

~*~ Her POV ~*~

“He looks horrible” the voice played through the phones speaker, but they fell on deaf ears, as her eyes closed, every single memory of him being nothing more than a trick to hinder her will towards him. “Are you listening?” The voice reasoned for her attention, yet she couldn’t grant it for nothing, but pain came from the thought, instead she would clear , trying her best to put on her best voice.

“Have you seen the newest band? They look like they will do amazing” she changed the subject as she often did, knowing she was only running from the closure she so desperately needed, unsure if she could handle seeing his face another time without having an urge to forgive him.

“Nye” Seung-Hyun responded with a defeated sigh, knowing well that the chances of making his point was no longer. “It’s been a month, aren’t you curious?”

“No” she spoke without hesitation “it’s no longer my concern” she continued before hanging up the phone and allowing her tears to release, drowning her further in pain and misery, knowing she cared more than she probably should have allowed.

~*~ HIS POV ~*~

He felt dizzy on the stage before he even step foot out in the crowd, the fans chanting his name being nothing more than a stab in his already bleeding heart. He didn’t deserve to feel their love and support, didn’t deserve to be praised when he was a monster whom hurt a beautiful person. His knees were shaking, his chest tightening with every breath he drew in, and by the time he found himself in the flashing lights, Ji-Yong was no longer available, he had turned into G-Dragon as he often did in order to cope with his lonely nights.

He truly thought that she had cheated first, had seen her with a rich male idol, however was stunned when they were introduced in an interview as brother and sister. He realized than that despite her lack of expensive items, that she was made of wealth, and truly didn’t need him to support her. She worked extremely long hours to buy the things she wanted and had no hesitation to pay for their meals or dates they found themselves on. Everything was divided equally between them, and it was something he forgot when his anger bested him.

He became his alter ego that night, wanting to prove to her that he could have anyone he really wanted, yet by doing so, he had lost the very person whom he truly desired. It had been two months and her voice still haunt him when he sleeps, her warmth still left him cold every night he laid in the bed they once shared. Her touch still lingers against his chest, and the fire she ignited was a simmering spark that never truly did extinguish, regardless of how much he honestly tried to remove it.

He was so lost in his thoughts, that he hadn’t realized the tears that claimed his cheeks, couldn’t hear the crowd that was becoming frantic upon seeing his mental state. There was nothing but darkness around him, the world was painted black, clouding any chance of color to ripple through and pull him into the light. He had lost that swirl of color, didn’t deserve to feel that warmth, yet he selfishly desired it, desperately needed it. He would be honored to even be graced with it, if only to feel the raging power of her hatred. At least he would be able to feel something other than this pain that constantly took him under.

~*~*~*~*~

“Ji-Yong” her voice speaking his name made his heart pound in his chest, another dream that always lulled and comforted him, yet he always awoke to disappointment, to more pain than he had felt the previous day. “Ji you need to wake up” she never spoke those words, nor did he desire her too, for the moment his eyes opened, was the moment her visual vanished from his life.

“I don’t hate you” yes, he kept telling himself this lie but did it really help? Of course not, but it was better than hearing the truth and it offered some comfort in the whole situation. “So please wake up” why did her voice sound so upset? He never envisioned her in such a way. Perhaps it was karma for hurting her.

“He’s been out for two days now” Choi’s voice powered from somewhere within his consciousness, yet it confused him as to why he would conjure up such words.

He felt pressure on his hand at that moment, a warmth that could melt away any ice that had taken over him through the months that seemed like centuries. For once, he wished to wake up from the dream, for it was much to real for his liking, knowing well that he would only feel worse when finally awakening. His eyes fluttering to an open, the blinding lights would cause his vision to blur, yet he was aware of the warmth that still claimed his hand, and the wetness that filled his palm.

“Ji?” Her whisper forced his eyes to blink a few times before his vision was reclaimed, his eyes studying the female whose cheek was resting on his knuckles, her eyes clouded by a liquid that he was all to familiar with. “How are you feeling?” She whispered her concern, but he honestly never felt worse.

She looked nothing like he remembered her, her cheeks sunk in and her wrist frail and boney, unlike the strong woman he once admired. She had lost a tremendous amount of weight, and if her physical appearance didn’t prove it enough, her pale flesh would certainly provide the lack of nutarians that often are required. She looked as though she had aged despite it only being two months, and he could only ponder how he must have looked, as though staring in the mirror and seeing his own reflection.

“I love you” he spoke the words that he had been literally dying to speak, desperate to hear them coming from her lips, yet was only met with more disappointment when her eyes widened and then softened.

“I loved you too” she responded, and he hated that she used the word in past tense, proving that whatever love she had was now replaced with the words he once thought he would be delighted to hear. “Eat better, stay healthy. You owe me that much” she spoke while giving his hand one last squeeze, standing herself from the chair and heading out of the room.

“Don’t leave me” he begged desperately, sitting himself up to chase her but only to collide with the floor, yet despite the doctor’s protest of stopping, he would scramble to his knees and begin to crawl. “Please! I NEED YOU!!!” He screamed, not caring who saw or who would judge, they didn’t matter if she wasn’t in his life, nothing mattered if he wasn’t loved for who he truly was.

“I didn’t leave you Ji” her words were harsh, showing no mercy to the man who destroyed her beauty, who single handedly destroyed a strong woman and turned her insecure “you were never truly mine… I love you, but I can’t trust you anymore. With no trust, there is no relationship…”

“Then hate me, hit me, tell me everyday how horrible I am” he barely managed to stutter out, finally reaching her retreating form and wrapping his arms around her legs, hindering her still “just stay beside me. Stay in my life and let me prove to you… Let me prove that I love you.”

“Ji… I can’t do that” she spoke softly, falling to her knees and securing him within her arms, his arms quick to engulf her with his presence, his face within the crook of her neck within seconds, breathing in the scent that had long been erased from the bedsheets. “I’ll fall in love with a liar all over again…”

“No” Ji spoke harshly “you’ll fall in a love with a man that is desperate to cherish you, desperate to hold you. You’ll fall in love with a man who will trust you, who won’t make another stupid mistake. A man who will do anything you ask of him, anything to make you smile. Please… Let me be that man…”

She was silent and he was comforted by her lack of protest, his hands smoothing towards her jaw and finally cupping at her cheeks. He had longed to touch her face, had been so desperate to kiss her lips, and now that he was presented the chance too, he could only dream of it, knowing it would take a long time before he was allowed the luxury, but he wouldn’t stop trying, so long she would allow him to, he’d become the man she once adored again.